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persianmouse's Profile

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BPAL FAQs (13 posts)
13-November 07
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My Information

Member Title:
diabolical decanter
102 years old
October 21, 1911
Female Female
Fucking Delightful

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Website URL  http://


BPAL of the Day:
Aunty Owls' Schadenfreude Mojo


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The Bizarro Phoenix Alchemy Lab
United States

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Posts I've Made

  1. In Topic: Fairy Hordes Attacking a Bat

    05 July 2013 - 09:55 PM

    Pretty sure this is what fairy bedsheets smell like. Like wildflowers (but not FLORAL floral) and woodland things and tiny little throw pillows made out of blossom petals that they got at the Faeryland Pier 1.
  2. In Topic: Weisse Maus v4

    13 April 2011 - 07:40 PM

    When first applied, Weisse Maus smells like the finest, old-fashioned men's cologne. Now, some might take that as a bad thing, but hear me out. I don't mean a modern cologne with all its overwhelming syntheticness, I'm talking from way back in the day, when men's cologne still used essential oils and didn't come in a Windex bottle. When men wore hats and sock garters and knew how to wear pants that didn't collapse into a sad little shar-pei puddle at their feet. This is what Don Draper would smell like, minus the booze and smoke and sex sweat and lies. In short, it smells like a male guest at the Weisse Maus cabaret, right at the start of the evening, before all the booze and smoke and sex sweat and lies.

    Then, for a brief period as it starts to dry down, I can smell the greeny smell the other reviewers noted, where it goes all green and crunchy. An unexpected salad bar at the debauched cabaret.

    But once it dries, it smells almost exactly like Pinaud-Clubman talc. For those not familiar with Pinaud-Clubman talc (OMG why aren't you?!), it smells nothing like baby powder or talc. No one smells baby powder and thinks "God, I'd love to mount something right about now,". The same cannot be said for Pinaud-Clubman talc.
  3. In Topic: How do you store your oils?

    24 June 2010 - 11:59 PM

    QUOTE(Athenae @ Jun 24 2010, 02:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
    I came up with a really fun combo when a friend gave me a typesetter's drawer as a Christmas present. We're both old-line newspaper geeks, so he's always finding me hot type letters or printing blocks, and this is a very large drawer that was used to hold the old metal type and has lots of little drawers to keep it separated.

    *respectfully snipped*

    TYPESETTER'S DRAWERS! That looks so awesome, it reminds me of some of the Sandman trade paperback covers, or a cabinet of curiosities.

    I love typesetter's drawers, I love all the wee compartments. I also keep my BPAL in one. ---->This Link wants you to click it, click it hard.
  4. In Topic: Egg Moon

    23 April 2010 - 09:21 PM

    I would like you to think of an egg.

    A chicken egg is preferable, as being the most commonly encountered egg of all the eggs, but any egg will do, really.

    If you are having trouble picturing an egg, allow me to help you.

    ...no, that's not quite right, not eggy enough, that looks far too much like a personal massage device designed by Eero Aarnio.

    Ah, that's more like it.

    So, I would like you to think of the above eggs. Desperately yellow and rubbery and stinking of something primordial.

    Think of eggs. Now, think of the exact opposite of what eggs smell like.

    That is what Egg Moon smells like. The opposite of eggs.

    This isn't a scent that eats eggs every morning as part of healthy breakfast.
    This isn't a scent that makes sure to buy all its eggs from free-range cruelty-free small farmers.
    This isn't even a scent that eggs your house.
    This is a scent that tracks down the teenagers who egged its house, lures them outside in the dark of night, stuns them with a cattle prod, ties them up and throws them into the trunk of its 1987 Buick Grand National, where it drives them out into the Arizona desert, ties them to a cactus, and forces them to listen to SNL-alum Victoria Jackson reading Scooter Libby's bear-filled erotic masterpiece The Apprentice, until they beg for the sweet release of death.

  5. In Topic: Are bpal blends all-natural?

    27 January 2010 - 03:31 AM

    Beth, goddamn I love you and you are so fucking awesome.

    And I think that's what got people's fur up at some of jayne's comments. Because they weren't just "I don't like BPAL.", they were dispersions on the character and ethics Beth and all the Labbies. Passive little insinuations and innuendo based on nothing but rumor and anonymous blog posts.

    That shit ain't right.

    Spend a little time on the forums, and you might realize that Beth is one of the last people you ever need to suspect of cheating you. This isn't a case of Cult of Personality, Beth is genuinely a good and talented person. Even with the buffer of the Internet, if you're a crazy douchebag, its eventually going to be made clear. And the reverse is also true, when you are fucking awesome, that is also going to made clear.

    Like it just was a few posts above this one.


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    18 Jun 2013 - 18:13
    Thank you for the great parcel and thoughtful goodies. *wanders of to chew on salted bat wings*
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    13 Jul 2011 - 19:37
    I prefer cha-chaing falcons.
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    05 Jun 2011 - 07:06
    That is all.
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    28 Jul 2010 - 19:41
    I love anything you post on here! your sense of humor is epic :)
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    18 Aug 2009 - 18:09
    You, my dear, are hilarious.
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    09 Apr 2009 - 06:41
    You do realize you write the best f-ing reviews ever, right?
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    05 Mar 2009 - 22:30
    Just wanted to say I encountered your sales page and it made me - lol. Thanks for brightening my day with your humor! :)
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    12 Dec 2007 - 13:50
    You're not fooling anyone. We all know you are an owl obsessed with tanning beds.
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