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BPAL Madness!


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About crimescenecleanup

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    1/32 too few
  • Birthday 08/22/1982


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    Western Washington, USA
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    United States

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  1. crimescenecleanup


    This is perfect,. I'm not a big fan of the individual components, but together they are exquisite. I smell the vanilla, lavender, and sage and they are all very cuddly and airy, like fresh linens and fluffy towels. Not bitter, not astringent, not medicinal, not sweet. Just soft and lovely. I don't detect the patchouli or honey, and I suspect that it offers a gentle warming and grounding note. I really hope something very similar to this pops up in GC someday, because it is simply beautiful.
  2. crimescenecleanup

    Blueberry Sufganiyot

    Yeah, BPAL ain't kiddin' about that giant bloop of blueberry. This is stewed, cooked blueberries - a really powerful blueberry preserves note. Pretty much a single note. It scared me a little first until I remembered that the other Sufganiyots were super-heavy on the tart fruit at first, too, but as they settled and aged, the sugar and donut aspects of the scents became more prominent and eventually turned into something perfectly balanced. I feel like this is worth holding onto for that beautiful sugar-dusted donut hiding under all that blueberry, that will eventually make itself known and bring out the best in its fruit companion.
  3. crimescenecleanup

    Shattered Silence

    My honest first impression? This smells like flat cola, or maybe Dr. Pepper - very pleasantly so. I think it is the combination of the spicy juniper and the sweet/waxy yew berry accord that is giving that impression. It does not smell like cola the way that myrrh notes always smell like cola to me. This really reminds me that those cola kind of soft drinks were originally supposed to be medicinal tonics, but spiced up and flavored so that you would actually want to take them on a regular basis. This is like a bunch of conifer forest plants made deliciously edible. Very quickly the cedar asserts itself, and it is strong, and kind of a dusty, dry, aged quality. Like a fine hopechest. I love cedar, but this one is especially nice - it stays very true through drydown. I often have the problem of cedar notes fading quickly on me but this one sticks around. Some people like cedar to pencil shaving or sawdust int heir reviews, and I get none of that here. All through this, there is a heavy backdrop of black musk. I tend to like BPAL's black musk scents, and if I have to describe this one, I'd say it is sort of...smooth and oily smelling? I've never tried Streets of Detroit, but this is how I imagine it would smell, a sort of masculine, sexy-guy-working-on-a-car scent. The funny thing about black musks is that on the far drydown, they always seem to have this hint of lemon and clean skin and babypowder, and I love that. The start out masculine and drydown to something softer, edging towards feminine. Anyway. Somehow all of these elements - the spicy forest cola, the cedar hopechest, and that creepy fog of black musk looming behind it all add up to something very good. I'm always on a quest to find a good forest scent, I am so glad that I took a chance and blindbottled this. It doesn't smell exactly like a forest, but it definitely captures the spirit of a winter forest, which is even better.
  4. crimescenecleanup

    Hooligan Witches

    This is my surprise winner out of the Lilith series this year. I get no pumpkin, or popcorn, even after repeated testings. This is that crunchy, spicy, caramelized crust that goes around the fried ice cream. I don't think the spice is cinnamon - I would guess other things - maybe clove or cardamom. There is also a breath of vanilla extract, milk and cream notes, and an awful lot of a very realistic cream-soda accord. This is a rich dessert, a real sugar-bomb. At first I thought, oh no, this isn't me at all (I'm not much of one for sugary or gourmand scents) But on the far drydown I couldn't stop sniffing my wrists. Sure, it smells like a dessert tray - but it is fun, and very wearable. The hint of spice and toasted sugar makes it feel mischievous and playful. I will wear this on grey, boring days when I need inspiration to break a few rules and play a few pranks.
  5. crimescenecleanup

    Zipline Part II

    I was so looking forward to this scent, because I was suuuuuuuper excited for the hay and patchouli and funnel cakes. I get none of that. Not a drop. Have you ever wondered "Where has all the rum gone?" Well, wonder no more, because it is in Ziplines Pt II. Now, I like rum, and all of the exotic notes that a good rum can have, and this has them. This is all the delectable aged rum you could ever want - plus a barrel or two of sugar. So much sugar, in fact, that there is no doubt that the 80 proof bit of the rum has burned off in the creation of an all-ages friendly dessert. The hay and patchouli and funnel cakes were obviously absconded with after their ship was overtaken by a dread pirate captain - a pirate that just happens to be a little girl. Who also insisted that the crew create a sugary dessert out of all that rum, or else walk the plank! And then we shall eat the dessert before dinner! YARRRR! tl;dr version: all sugared rum all the time, like a shot of sweet courage. Maybe my decant was missing some components? This is still pretty yummy.
  6. crimescenecleanup

    Uranus Planetary Amulet Conjure Bag

    Black in color, stuffed with herbs. This has a pleasant, strong scent like Holiday spices. Not the typical craft store cinnamon sticks, but something more exotic like cloves, star anise, and allspice. It is definitely a wake-you-up, energizing kind of scent.
  7. crimescenecleanup

    Very Stable Genius

    I've struggled to write a review for this scent. Just testing it left me speechless. At a loss for words, I have decided to leave it to The Very Stable Genius Himself, the greatest orator of our time: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the best BPAL scent. The best - this, OK folks - this is the best BPAL scent in all of history. It is that great. And everyone knows it is great. Everybody knows it. It's gonna to be the most successful perfume BPAL has ever released. The best seller. A tremendous success. The press will try to tell you that the best seller is Snake Oil, but it's not. OK? Snake Oil is from where? Indonesia, which is you know, between Australia...between Australia and Nambia, and they are not pulling their weight. They're not pulling their weight. Those bad hombres are going to have to pay some tough tariffs on sugared oils. It is dangerous, it's dangerous. Unless - you know - we could build some condos, some very nice condos there and bring those sugared oil jobs home. We will frack for it. We will frack for sugared oils and be at a tremendous advantage. We will be very smart about this. There are some bad people out there, some very bad people - They want you to think that other perfumes are more popular, but this Snake Oil is a lightweight. We are winning. Some people are saying that this perfume smells like standing in the kitchen of a Waffle House where the griddle and deep fryer have never been cleaned. FAKE NEWS! OK! OK? Fake news, people. It's all fake. Some say this is the perfume equivalent of holding a grease-soaked bag of mouldering french fries and beef lard left out on a summer afternoon. Well, I don't know why it would be. This perfume perfectly captures the feeling you felt on election night, the moment the results were in and you knew America was going to be great again. Well, perfume is great again. It exactly - it captures the feeling. It's gonna to be huge! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My deepest apologies to Indonesia, which is a beautiful country populated with beautiful people. And to Australia. And to nonexistant Nambia and its self-sufficient healthcare system. And to Beth, who has so perfectly and bravely blended a scent that inspires, simultaneously, existential horror and lifelong veganism. She is clearly a genius - but maybe not a very stable one. - CSC
  8. crimescenecleanup

    The Beauty Bag Conjure Bag

    Used to increase charisma and improve your self-image. Pale pink in color, filled with what feels like dried blossoms and herbs, smells pleasantly musty and rose-like. I've noticed that I am generally easier to laugh, more affectionate, and gentler and more compassionate to myself and others after working with this bag. The people around me seem to respond in kind. My focus has been on cultivating more inner beauty and self acceptance, but I think it has also inspired me to make some positive changes regarding my dress and makeup and personal style.
  9. crimescenecleanup

    Absolution Conjure Bag

    Use as a focal point when you need to forgive yourself for errors you have committed, poor choices you may have made, or when you need to let go of misplaced guilt or shame. Plain and white in color, it is pleasantly squishy as if filled with fine sand among other things. It has a very slight, cool herbal scent. Maybe some lavender buds in there? I've been trying to overcome a lot of old guilt, grief, and creative blocks related to feelings of unworthiness,a s well as just trying to be a better person. I am an incurable fidgeter, and this is very calming to hold and fidget with while meditating and praying on these issues. I did find that some of the contents had a tendency to leak out of the mouth of the bag, so I pushed a little plain white stuffing cotton in there to hold it in, and it worked beautifully.
  10. crimescenecleanup

    Sol Planetary Amulet Conjure Bag

    Bright yellow in color, stuffed with herbs and good things like the conjure bags, with carefully drawn squiggly sigil-ly thingies all about it. Gives me a lovely sense of clarity, focus, wakefulness, goodwill, and sunny wellbeing even after a few sleepless nights and dreary, cloudy days. Pleased as always with the high quality of TAL products and the detail and care that went into creating this
  11. crimescenecleanup

    The Pillars

    Lovely exotic woods, perfectly balanced, with cedar and honey myrtle at the forefront. The honey myrtle is sweet and delectable and green, like honey stirred into a summer herb tea.
  12. crimescenecleanup


    This is a nostalgic scent that sets my heart all a-flutter. It smells like a very clean young man wearing his best leather jacket and little too much aftershave, trying to impress someone. Aw, I remember when boys used to try and impress me. Now, they're all like "Madam, you look frail and decrepit. May I escort away from this mosh pit and to a safer place, perhaps a diner with a senior menu?" In the bottle this smells very distinctly of original Irish Spring soap.The soapy quality never quite goes away, but it does mellow beautifully as the greasepaint, leather, and aftershave notes develop on warm skin. I agree with zankoku-zen that it does smell a little like a theater.In spite of the name, Whiff-Lash is not harsh at all. It is playful, fresh, and downright charming.
  13. crimescenecleanup


    This smells like a street fair run by hippies, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Incense-soaked handmade batik scarves, artisanal herbal teas, and exotically spiced snack food beguile the senses while a handsome young juggler dressed in patchwork hemp flirts with you for tips. Yep, it's that in a bottle.
  14. crimescenecleanup

    The Writing on the Slate

    Beeswax so sweet it is almost cloying, the kind that is dark brown, barely filtered. This is like the beeswax from Flickering Lantern amped up to 11, mixed with raw honey. For me, the chalk and dust only make their appearance on drydown, and then only faintly, adding a little powder to this blend. Although it isn't listed, there is a very strong vanilla-like note that shows up in this one. It makes this scent warm and comforting, maybe to represent the glow of candles. This is one of the longest-lasting perfumes I've tested. If you love beeswax, this is your new holy grail scent.
  15. crimescenecleanup


    Damn, Krampus, where have you been all my life? This is the most beautiful true-to-life suede leather note, and possibly the first BPAL leather note to ever work on me. It has just a hint of red musk that is both fruity and cold at the same time. It is not a red musk that I recognize from any other scent, and seems unique to this one. It has a pleasantly dusty aspect to it, that keeps the leather and red musk in check. I agree that it is similar to the coal dust from other Yule scents. The coldness and the dustiness of Krampus It is definitely filling my need for more mineral/petrichor notes.