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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 7,040 views
elbow's scentblog
 

Green Tree Viper, meet Calico Jack.

My first BPAL order from another customer/forum member came today. It was from Canada, so it took a while to get here. This one cost me $10 total for 4 imps I ordered. I would say I got my money's worth and then some....   I ordered Green Tree Viper, and in order to make it worth the trouble to ship, I also bought three other imps that sounded mildly interesting. The sender threw in three bonus partly-used imps (including two I've really been wanting to try!) and three "sniffies," or empty vials with just enough left in them to get an idea of what they smell like. She also included a sliver of scented soap from a different company, and Easter-themed confetti! Whee!   I don't want to try them on all at once and get all confused. I put Green Tree Viper on my right wrist and Calico Jack on my left. So I'm sniffing one wrist, then the other, then the first one again. They are so opposite. The Viper has lost most of its mintiness and just smells like Snake Oil to me. It has a lot of "throw" and I envision a little cloud of it around my right arm. Calico Jack packs a punch up close, though. It's a little cologne-y, and I can smell notes of salt, leather, musk, and woods. Left wrist -- pirate. Right wrist -- seductress. I think my arms are gonna make out with each other.   Tomorrow, maybe I will wear Kumiho (one of the freebies) to work -- it's white tea and ginger, which sounds like a good combination for me.   An e-mail sent to a friend 4/17/07.
elbow

elbow

0
Only A Few Weeks Or So
 

Wow. Four orders in one month.

Thank you for the kind words in my previous entry. I have been neglectful about updating over the past week due to a massive amount of schoolwork, but I'm back--at least for the time being. I'll talk about my BPAL life now, like I'm supposed to do in this blog.   This month is a record for me. I've placed Four orders:   4/1 Milk Moon 2007 Taurus 2007 Kataniya the Clockwork Woman Mad Sweeney (already swapped it away, I didn't like it--yet I still purchase bottles unsniffed.) Jailbait   4/10 After much agonizing about it, A Royal Flush (I got my CnS for this order on Friday.)   I promised myself this was IT until the end of the month, when I'd possibly place an order for the Monsterbaits--I wanted to wait until a fair amount of reviews came out before choosing which ones to buy. But then Beth concocted 13 and Bad Luck Woman Blues.   4/13 13 Bad Luck Woman Blues Parliament of Monsters Succubus Sacred Whore of Babylon   4/20 Tokyo Stomp Bloody Mary The Candy Butcher Juke Joint Bengal   It wouldn't be SO bad if I didn't throw in items I want from the GC into every order I place. I need to remind myself that they're GC, they're not going anywhere. I promised myself that I'll only place one order next month--I'll limit myself to only one or two LEs that come out and purchase them and NO MORE... Well, maybe White Rabbit.   Mood: Wearing now: Bitter Moon 2006
flco

flco

0
Do you have a flag?
 

More Than This

More Than This, by The Cure   For a second of your life Tell me that it's true Waiting for a sign It's all I want of you Your heart hides a secret A promise of what is Of something more than this   Just a second of your time Any one will do A taste of any other Is all I want from you Offer me the world And how can I resist Something more than this?   Make-believe in magic Make-believe in dreams Make-believe -- Impossible Nothing as it seems See, touch, taste, smell, hear But never know if it's real (But never know if it's real)   For a second of your life Tell me if it's true Anywhere we are Is all I want of you On your lips lies a secret A promise of a kiss Of something more than this   Just a second of your time Any one will do To know from any other Is all I want from you You've given me the world You know I can't resist Something more than this   Make-believe in magic Make-believe in dreams Make-believe -- Impossible Nothing as it seems Never really understand What anything means (What anything means)   Another second of my life Not knowing if it's true Make-believe in nothing Is all I want of you Whispering the secret Whispering there is Always something other Something more than this   ------------------------------- I've been listening to this song a lot lately. There was a time in my life when the emotion/longing described in this song was at the forefront of my mind all the time, and I listened to this song a lot then too. One of the reasons I've always loved The Cure so much is that a lot of their songs really resonate with me. Not too deep but not too shallow either, and there's a heart-on-your-sleeve quality to a lot of them in addition to a rawness, which I generally think of as intrinsic characteristics of passion.   I also love The Cure because Robert Smith is a hottie. Oh, right, and also a genius. But, yeah. A hottie. He looks like he'd be ready to cuddle and take a nap at any moment, and he has a killer smile that he sort of saves up and suddenly unleashes when you're not expecting it. My kind of guy.
filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

0
Bronwyn's Blog
 

eBay!

I've been eBaying my posterior off, trying to get my grubby mitts on LEs that I missed out on when they were live on the site (dang unemployment leaving me flat broke) -- I dunno if there's an etiquette on feedback from eBay to here and back or not [next on my list of things to do tonight - look that up] but... I'm aoineko484 on eBay - lemme know if I should be posting to something here (and a link, please - I'm hopelessly forum-nav-challenged of late; it took me 15 minutes to find the 'new blog entry' link!).         In other news...   Everyone's gotten their order but me! Wah! *pout* I want my precioussssss.....   Ah well. It'll probably show in the next couple days. If not, then I'll email and ask after it. 'Cuz, well... WANT.
bronwyn

bronwyn

0
Forget Everything And Remember
 

My name should be Alexander....

... because today was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day.   Ok, so my son's name is Alexander, that's close enough, right?   I had weird dreams all last night, which isn't unusual, but I was cranky to begin with because I was woken up at (what I presume to be) a good part by one of the cats deciding the bed was a good scratching post. RAWR. Then my husband got home and barely spoke to me, although he did tell me I missed the UPS guy with my computer part so my lappy can be fixed. RAWR again. Then he snapped at me over trivial shit and we ended up having a big fight. No apologies on either side. So I went to hang out with my son, see what he's doing, and after laying on his bed for a while, I get a strange pain under my belly, right over my pubic bone in front, like I overstretched a muscle. Not enough to scare me or send me to the hospital, but enough to really hurt and be annoying.   So now I COULD have a working lappy but I don't have the part, I'm cranky and in pain, and I'm generally ready to snap at anyone who says anything stupid to me. RAWR. (And I have a headache, too.)
Kitrona

Kitrona

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

Not So Married Part Two

Everyone at work thinks I'm a newlywed, because I didn't feel the need to tell them that we got married twice (first time was September 9, 2005 for insurance reasons, the 2nd time was September 30, 2006, which I consider our 'real' wedding date).   Apparently since I'm a newlywed, I don't know what it's like to be married, and shouldn't talk about my husband.   Several times in the last few weeks when I've brought up Todd in some form or fashion, my boss will add "But she's just a newlywed"   This happened yesterday at book club - we had read "Let's Roll" - which is the story of Todd and Lisa Beamer. Todd Beamer was one of the 9-11 heros who was on the plane that crashed on in the field.   At some point during the discussion, I mentioned that it was hard for me to read the part of the book that took place during and after 9-11, because my husband's name is Todd.   To which my boss said "But she's just a newlywed", to which the other people in the book club just said "Ah" and gave knowing looks.   WTF!!!!   Just because I'm a newlywed I can't not want my husband to die... apparently I can't talk about my husband or marriage until I'm not a newlywed!! I'm sure after October rolls around, it's going to turn into "But she's only been married a year"   GRRRRR!!   Oh, my boss also did insult my marriage. We were at lunch one day not long ago, and we were talking about laundry, when I said that our laundry hadn't merged yet (I feel no need to do Todd's laundry, and I'm sure he feels no need to do mine), and she said "Well, since you don't do your laundry together and you have seperate money, it's like you are not even married."   Again, WTF!!!   So, annoying!!
Eoywin

Eoywin

3
Monster Alice's Blog
 

SW almost over - sniff...

I've got the big box to pack and ship, then it'll be all over but the shouting. There's some cool stuff going in there, and some stupid but entertaining stuff too. I wish my switchwitchee ate, b/c that would make filling the last corners a bit easier, but fairies are constantly on diets it seems.   I'm taking the dogs to WV this weekend. Hopefully it won't be rainy the whole time we're out there. The schedule includes a thorough brushing for both Judy and Molly, and that's a lot easier to clean up from if I brush them outside. The rest of the time I'll be knitting, trying to get the body of a sweater finished. The patterning is a pain, but luckily the sleeves are ribbing, so they'll go quick. If I can just get the body done...   I'm going to stop at Trader Joe's for supplies, then we're off.
monsteralice

monsteralice

0
Extispicy
 

Anyone ever done this?

Like many forumites I like to tuck in a few extras with anything I sell - frimps, tea, candy. What have you. The problem with candy is, everytime I buy a bag of it with the intention of using it with forum orders, I always end up eating the whole thing. Usually in one sitting. Am I going to have to start buying candy I dislike?
Extispex

Extispex

0
Extispicy
 

No one understands my BPAL obsession

Thats why I began a blog over here on BPAL. The Gods know I have enough blogs, but none of them even whisper of BPAL. Most of my friends would be perplexed. "Perfume? You're into perfume?" Yeah I am, what can I say.   I've tried to enable a couple of friends whom I think would be more receptive to the idea, but thus far there's only been a cursory interest from one female friend. My best friend is male, and even more low-maintenance than I am, so he'll never go for BPAL. Another male friend - a magician - is showing some interest in the TALS. I've sent him some decants and perhaps they'll draw him into the world of BPAL, who knows.   The only person in my life who is as thrilled with BPAL as I am is my 9 year old niece, who has a growing collection of imps, and who is saving up for her first bottle. Her favorite blend so far is Cobra Lily (her taste in fragrances is very different from mine).   So here's where I tuck all my BPAL-related musings. Other stuff will find its way in here I'm sure.
Extispex

Extispex

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

My First BPAL Love

My very first BPAL love was Hamadryad - I sniffed an imp, and was hooked. It was the first bottle of BPAL I ever had too.   Then the "Great Cleansing of 2005" aka "Mandy had to sell all of her BPAL so she could afford gas to get to work" happened, and that bottle go sold (with the rest of my collection )   And of course, Hamadryad doesn't smell like my first love anymore, and I don't like the new hamadryad (it makes me sneeze )   But I was just looking through the imps my switch witch sent me, and there was an imp of Hamadryad, and I opened it up.   OH SWEET WOODSY GOODNESS!!!   Suddenly I was propelled back in time to the fall of 2004, when I first fell in love with Bpal and Hamadryad.   Now I wish I still had that bottle
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
circe_blue's Blog
 

For "Office" fans

Okay, so the Jim/Pam thing has been dying down quite a bit this season. And, actually I think Karen is pretty damn cool, and I'm not mad that Jim is with her as long as eventually he gets with Pam. The bf even likes Karen more than Pam   So, without Jim/Pam this season I find myself more and more fascinated by Ryan and Kelly. That last episode where she rambles on and on (and on and on) about Netflix and Ryan just sits there staring while people file in and place money on the table because it's obviously a bet to see how long he can get her to talk/say the word "awesome" (::breathes::...)--hilarious.   I came across Mindy Kaling's (aka Kelly) Blog: http://mindyephron.blogspot.com/ Really great. Not much about "The Office" itself, more about stuff she likes and buys (is that so Kelly, or what? ). It is awesome and I am slowly but surely making my way through the archives. ---------- Also, just found out about the Tokyo Stomp shortage. This relieved me so much! I know I'm usually the last to get my CnS but I was really starting to worry. Now, I know that my package has not been lost, stolen, stomped by large lizards attempting to invade Tokyo. Phew!   PS: Can you believe that in the 9th grade we were given an extra credit assignment to watch the "new" Godzilla with Matthew Broderick then write a paper on it? Something about asexual reproduction is all I can remember.
circe_blue

circe_blue

0
Forum Updates and News
 

Updates! Updates!

If you remember during last year's raffle, we moved to a dedicated server. It seemed large and huge at the time - a 3800+ dual core server with 2GB of RAM. A few months ago, we had to upgrade the RAM to 3GB. Not a big deal, we expected we'd need to have more member eventually, and our estimates for the third GB were pretty close to when we actually needed it.   As those of you who surf late at night are aware, over the last few months, the forum has been slowing down (and occasionally locking up) during our nightly backup, and we've locked up during the day a few times. The technical support staff at LiquidWeb, our host, recommended that we upgrade the RAM.   After considering our options, we ultimately decided to do a major server upgrade. Because Liquidweb is having a large sale on their top-of-the-line machines, and we were willing to do some modifications to our setup (namely, eliminate our RAID set up), it was cheaper to do the upgrade ($5/mo) than to add another stick of RAM ($20/mo). The biggest reason to do this instead of just another stick of RAM is that 4GB maxes out our current server's RAM capabilities. (The extra processing power certainly didn't hurt!) After that, we'd have to build a new server - and the prices wouldn't necessarily be as advantageous then and it could cost as much as $1,200/yr more.   Anyway, our new server's still being built by LiquidWeb, and we don't know when exactly it'll be ready for us to start moving things over. It's quite the powerhouse, though: two of Intel's Clovertown processors (which are quad-core, with each core being 1800 MHz), with up to 12GB of RAM. We're only going to have 4GB, though - going to 8GB will cost an extra $100/mo, and going to 12GB would be $200/mo more. If that wasn't enough of a speed bump, we're having them install the php accelerator, and in the coming months, Invision is releasing a new version of the forum that has database improvements, which should also further speed things up.
ipb

ipb

0
Diplomatka
 

Bangkok, last minute

I don't know why, but that old joke always makes me laugh: "A man who walks through the airport turnstile sideways is always going to Bangkok".   And it seems like I am always going to Bangkok (rather than "bang cock"), too, and that I always find out that I am going with less than seven days to prepare. Today my boss came and told me, "you can go to the conference next week if you want, HQ agreed to pay the costs."   Thailand is my favorite country. I go there at least twice a year whether I plan on it or not. I can drink grass jelly as I get on the sky train, head out to get a Thai massage, eat spicy green coconut curry, jump on a marshrutka and go to the beach, shlep around town with a big Chang in my hand wearing nearly no clothes. I can nearly taste the lemon grass and exhaust now.   There are direct flights, the costs are covered, why not?
Confection

Confection

0
this and that from Antaria
 

Stuck

Well ... somehow I'm stuck.   I had my job interview and it was bad - so I assumed the "Sorry, you don't get the job" letter to arrive within 3 days. I did not. Now is has been 7 working days since the interviews stopped and still nothing.   It kills my motivation. If I knew that I won't get the job, I'd try to please my boss here to make sure I get a new contract. If I knew that I leave soon, I'd try to finish as much tasks as possible, because otherwise I think I'd have to come after my regular working time to help them out.   But since it could be that I get the other job (WHY am I still thinking that this is a possibility??) I just hang around, pretend to be working, waiting for my boss to come and to show him "here, that's what I've accomplished so far" - he will think that I did well - I told him before how long it would take to do what he asked for (and it is true, it takes a lot of time ... well but not THAT much).   It is silly - both cases would imply that I should work harder ... so I just could start with that. But NO. I don't.   So, there is no forwards and no backwards right now ... I just stand here, jump back and forth to some favorite sites in the net and I wait.   Hope the letter comes soon. Or that I decide to call them.
Antaria

Antaria

0
captain diana's log
 

quikslvr #4

Rakshasa wet: rosey-sandalwood. very soft. drydown: rosey without being overpowering, the sandalwood tempers it nicely. very soft & pretty.   Inferno wet:cinnamony-almond. kind of like red hots candy. drydown: the spiciness softens considerably and becomes a bit more floral, but with a cinnamon edge. why do i not own a bottle of this? i am perplexed.   Medea wet: green floral. it's a bit sharp on the green note, but it's actually quite nice. drydown: fades quite a bit, but it's a nice & sophisticated floraly perfumey green-ish scent.   Ogun wet: sweet...and spicy. like melons & black pepper. drydown: drier—almost like incense or smokey + spice mixed together. it's a bit too heavy on the black pepper for my taste, but it's overall an interesting & unique scent.   Odin already reviewed   Sheol wet: very faint. kind of an incense + light floral, but it's barely there drydown: a bit perfumey... it reminds me ever so slightly of aquanet hair spray. i rather like this. it's kind of a nostalgic scent for me. =)   Les Infortunes de la Vertu already reviewed
Diana

Diana

0
captain diana's log
 

13bodies #3

Port-au-Prince wet: almond drydown: spiced almond, kind of like a bay rum... slightly clovey, still mostly almond. i'm not a huge fan of bay scents, so this one is not really up my alley.   Oberon wet: detergenty drydown: light florals, slightly sweet, fairly powdery. it reminds me of an avon soap from childhood. it's a nice, clean scent, it is pretty inoffensive.   Tzadikim Nistarim wet: sweet, almost bubblegum... i think it's mostly the hyssop drydown: smells sweet still—somewhere between candy and penicillin. i can't decide if i like it or not. the penicillin note is making me waffle. i wouldn't turn down a bottle of this, but i probably wouldn't seek it out, either.   Penny Dreadful already reviewed   Urd already reviewed   Skuld already reviewed
Diana

Diana

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

I feel frumpy + Need help!

Actually, I am frumpy. Mostly because I'm too poor to redo my whole wardrobe, I'm chunky, and I'm lazy.   Most of the time, I'm okay with this, because I can throw on a bpal tee, cute pants, and cute shoes, and feel better about myself, and the hubby loves me for me...   But it's been bothering me more lately.   Partly because we have Todd's cousin's wedding to go to in June, and I don't want to look like the frumpy wife - I want to look like the semi-hot newlywed.   Alas, I have no close girlfriends, and the girl who I'm the closest friends with is even more frumpy than I am.   And I don't trust my own judgement - I picked out an outfit for my dad's wedding last June, and looking at the pictures afterwards made me cringe since I looked terribly fat and unattractive   So, now I have about 6 weeks to find an outfit for the wedding in June, and I'm afraid I'll look like crap again.   And don't get me started on my hair - that's been bugging me too.   Any help/advice would be appreciated - I love a new hair cut, but I've been burned by haircuts before, and have no idea what would look good on me. And obviously my taste in clothes is not the best.
Eoywin

Eoywin

4
grimms_creed's Blog
 

Black Cat, Harlot, Hetairae, Mantis, Rage

Voodoo:   BLACK CAT (Used most often as a key to bringing back the joy one needs to have in life in order for living to feel worthwhile. Brings back a sense of delight in simple pleasures, and creates a surge of childlike curiosity and a youthful sense of fun). This smells.... sharp. And a bit soapy. And I think I sense some dill. It smells pretty good in the bottle, but not so much one me. No, I smell like bad rose scented soap with an after smell of dill.   Love Potions:   HARLOT (Based on a Romany incense blend reputed to induce sexual dreams: Somalian rose, Moroccan rose and Bulgar rose with a sultry dribble of cinnamon). Rose. An unussually deep and rich rose, but rose through and through. 3, but since it is the best pure rose I have ever smelled, I will keep it anyway.   HETAIRAE (A seductive and dazzling blend of golden honey, fiery patchouli, sweet fig and clove, and a blushing touch of ylang ylang). first whiff - medicinal. This really doesn't do anything for me, and is actually kind of irritating, which is odd since I love every single note listed.   Rappaccini's Garden:   MANTIS (Crushed herbs and sweet amber resin with a streak of patchouli, neroli and golden musk). Oh...... beautiful green scent. Fresh. I can't inhale this deeply enough, and it seems to stay as wonderful on my skin. Love! 5   Diabolus:   RAGE (Black amber erupting with a dark volcanic surge of fiery dragon's blood and a burst of melati, rose geranium, mandarin and black currant). This is the aroma of righteous indignation. When I have been pushed to my limit by someone, and then suddenly find the strength within to stand up for myself, this is what I should smell like. That said, I really like this, though I have no idea why. It's invigorating, in much the same way that righteous indignation is. It makes me stand taller. That feeling reduces as it dries, but it doesn't go away. 3 (5 on special days)
grimms_creed

grimms_creed

0
Korshka's BPAL Ramblings
 

Trying to straighten things out...

I also feel the need to make a public statement of sorts. EBay pulled my auction for the partial bottle of Mitzvah. The "official" reason was that the auction was for a "counterfeit or unauthorized reproduction". The reason given to me by customer service is that it they felt I had placed another perfume into the Lab's bottle or was otherwise using the Lab's bottle as a gimmick. I would like to assure everyone that this is not true. That what is in the Mitzvah bottle was bought straight from the lab and has always been in that bottle. I am talking with eBay costumer support to try to figure out what is going on. I hope to re-list it, but it is unknown if this will be possible.   I am still rather pissed about this...but I'm trying to work on getting everything straight.
korshka

korshka

0
Korshka's BPAL Ramblings
 

Livid beyond words...

I am pissed this morning. Apparently, Someone told eBay that my auction (for Mitzvah) was a "counterfeit or unauthorized reproduction." Excuse me? Um...take a look at either one of the two pictures. It's the real thing. So then, they must think the pictures are fake - so then I want to know how they figure that. Trademark Infringement, my ass.   There are several reasons why someone may do this - rather out of spite, vendetta against me or eBay selling, price (not that I know what the bid was at last I saw it was only $12, but I was gone all evening), or what. Either way - I'm pissed because it is a sophomoric and bitchy way to handle the situation. Accuse me of Trademark Infringement, huh? How does Slander sound? Now, I feel like I need to do some sort of public announcement to inform the bidders of my other auctions of why the major one that they all were probably watching disappeared and assure them that I have been wrong accused all b/c some asshole can't use more appropriate means of expressing their issues. Grrr. At least with BPAL I do have a way that I can make such a statement.   Maybe, I am taking this too personally, but to me, this is a personal attack to my credibility. I have always try my best to be honest, straight forward, and fair - it's the damn Libra in me. It really hurts and pisses me off to have someone do this too me.   I have emailed eBay (in a much calmer manner), and I plan to follow up with them and get this sorted out. With any luck, I'll get the bottle re-listed soon. I hope that there is some sort of action that can be taken against my accuser, but I doubt there will be. Either way, I understand eBay's need to patrol and protect us from all the bogus auctions, but to just pull my auction without even checking with me or allowing me to defend myself. I would think there would be a better way...
korshka

korshka

0
Denise's Cool Blog
 

My warped world of crochet...

So my brother's girlfriend is pregnant (found out around Thanksgiving!)... so I'll be an aunt for the first time soon! A few weeks ago, they were able to find out that they would be having a girl. So, what did my head decide? "Yes, you will learn to crochet and make a baby blanket!" Such an ambitious decision for someone like me... Not that I can't do things, but because I planned to teach myself. LOL!! SO, after buying some instructional books and hooks and yarn... then having a temper tantrum ( ) about not being able to figure it out, my stepmom kindly taught me what I needed to know to succeed! Well, sort of anyway. Here is the end result (already gifted on Easter, because I am an impatient person):     Sure, it was a little crooked... but, hey, a baby can't tell, right?   Since, I have been on a mission to make 2 LARGE sized blankets: One for myself, and one for my boyfriend (he picked the yarn out and everything. LOL!). I've also bought a few cool sparkly yarns to make a few scarves (nothing like timing! I know they will be SO useful during this week of 80 degree weather, right? hehe). I figure I will do a bunch and use them next year for Christmas gifts. If I don't lose track of where I store them by then   So far, I've completely finished the BF's blankie:     AND, a scarf:     I still will finish my personal blanket (even though I'll have no use for it for a while now), as well as the last scarf that I've already started. I'll post pictures of those when I get them done!
eviltemptressdq

eviltemptressdq

4
I smell glorious
 

Interview with the Vampire

The acting: so bad! So universally awful!   The dialogue: so melodramatic! - but predictably so, I wasn't expecting anything less, and I'm even relishing its blue-cheese-like deliciousness. But honestly guys, stop poncing about speaking in low, mysterious, dramatic voices and start talking like normal people, mmkay? I mean, there's a point.   Verdict on the film: Whoever did the music for that film fails at life on an epic scale. Music should enhance mood, not distract from the film itself. Brad Pitt, as attractive a man as I'm willing to admit he is, should not have long hair -- it is really not a good look for him. Equally, long hair looks truly heinous on Antonio Banderas. I appreciate androgyny much, much more than the next girl, but putting square-jawed Masculine Men in poncy outfits and then trying to make them look vaguely girly just doesn't work.   Brad Pitt's scenes with the interviewer were Not Good. His voice-over narrations were likewise poorly done, and although Tom Cruise really had his moments as crazy egotistical Lestat (typecasting?) he too often descended into the Low Mysterious Voice that forces me to restrain a giggle. Also, all of the men, particularly Armand, seemed to have this problem with their necks wherein they had to look at the world up through their eyebrows. It was most disconcerting.   And yet... and yet. Claudia was the high point of the film for me, and I love the relationship between her and Louis -- in the book she's a lot more scary and abhorrent, which I sort of missed, but as a character she makes me happy and Kirsten Dunst wasn't half-bad. (the Hellsing animated series, which is heavily derivative, offers a version of Claudia who's less bloodthirsty and creeptacular. sanitised, in other words.) And while I certainly wouldn't want to own the film, I can see watching it again -- and enjoying it for all its cheesy deliciousness. Anne Rice, like McDonald's french fries, has a special place in my heart.
myoubi

myoubi

1
I smell glorious
 

Neon Genesis Evangelion

I watched Death and Rebirth and The End of Evangelion today, because apparently I like pain. I keep coming back to Eva at different points in my life, watching it again and hoping to find some kind of answer -- because of how it resonates with me, and always has. I haven't found the answer yet. Or maybe it's there but too uncomfortable for me to think about. Either way, it's an exercise in frustration -- both because the series resonates so closely even now, and because it doesn't pretend to solve its characters' problems, and by extension my own.   Whether or not it's because I saw the series years ago and it made such an impact that the ideas were buried in my brain, many of the things Shinji thought and said are things that I did as well. Do, sometimes. Sometimes I think that giving up individuality isn't too high a price to pay for an end of loneliness and fear. Sometimes I just want it all to stop -- the constant insecurity and needing. There is no way out of that.     You can think yourself out of anything, if you try hard enough. The reason that despite some experimentation with drugs I seem incapable of getting high, is because I think myself down from it -- even though I've felt the physical effects of every drug I've tried, I've never experienced the concurrent effects on the mind, and people around me notice no change in my attitude or behaviour (except for wobbly walking). This is something that distresses me, because I could seriously use some chemically-enforced release, but also that I'm perversely proud of: see my iron self-control, look what I can do! My iron self-control has gotten me through a lot. It is also part of the reason that I am unhappy. I'm a creature of extremes: to find some resolution I'll need to either disregard that control entirely, or embrace it completely. The latter option, as isolating as it is, looks so tempting. Because I /know/ how to do that. I don't know how to be normal or let go.   These aren't new thoughts -- they're realisations i've come to before. That makes me wary of them, because it's like a groove I have worn in my brain, but it also makes them easier to believe. To sink into I-don't-know-how-so-I'll-give-up is to really take myself one step further towards turning into Shinji.
myoubi

myoubi

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