Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101
i was excited for my first night having my tens unit. figured hell, i would get some sleep *finally* but did i???? no! my 4y/o ds had yet another migraine, so that means just hours of screaming, ice packs, and me rubbing his head. i kept sniffing antique lace which i believe is teh only reason i am still 1/2 sane
he is still hurting, but hopefully will improve through the day. what a great surprise the fools le's were i almost completely forgot abt my wretch of a night.
today i am wearing scherezade, my 5ml can not arrive soon enough! i burned through one imp, and 1/2 of a new swap imp, this scent is one i SLATHER. i am thinking it might smell good layered w/ a.l. but i hate to debauch either of them...weird i know.
in other news while i was not sleeping last night i came up w/ mental designs for tees at the salon. i am excited to get them sketched out.
The Four Hundred drunken bunnies told me to do it...
I love wearing Centzon Totochtin- it lasts all day and reminds me that there's better things in life than just work. Besides the cocoa and a bite (blood?) seem to show through really well. I spent Friday sniffing my writst seeking comfort.
Hot Call Center Guy never messaged me back on myspace. So I'm not cool enough for him or something. Whatever. Jerk. (I know he saw it because he had signed on and stuff) Prolly just ignoring it... I'm not cool like the rest of 'em.
As for Erik- I asked him if he wanted me to stop writing to him since it's kinda odd to have a younger, single, and friendly woman talking to him through his divorce- AND I think we're both flurting with eachother quite a bit. Dangerious territory. But then again, I suck at figuring out flurting.
Erik answered that message by replying with a sweet reply, photos of his cats (I asked what they look like in another part of the message), and ended with a photo of him. He's actully really pretty sweet/cute/attractive looking especially for a guy that's got 5 years on me. *sigh*
Guess I'm going to get through April. Through the birthday and Castle Conquest. Then if he hasn't shaped up I'm going to ask for a month or so to myself. Not to go out and get laid by everyone else, but just to see if it gets his ass in gear to grow up.
Ben stopped by today which was great! I really enjoyed catching up with him and talking about everything. We talked about our relationships, fun stuff, how work is going for both of us, and really enjoyed the time to bum around. Ben is a great guy. I love having a close friend who is like a brother.
I'm weak - I caved. I've been really holding back lately with ordering. I have a ton of stuff to try, so I kept telling myself that there was no use getting anything new until I did something about that huge pile of imps (and even a few bottles). But really - how does one resist the temptation of Enraged Bunny Musk or Monster Bait: Underpants (aka Monster in my Panties!). I just couldn't. But it's ok b/c I'm being put in for a big raise. Please let it go through. This is my little gift for me for getting it.
I didn't notice at first that the Monster Bait was only to be up for 24hrs. I would have been really mad if I held off until tomorrow or Monday and realized that I missed it.
Hmm...I should go get to smelling to make room for the new stuff!
You people must all be out having fun on this lovely Saturday. I am stuck inside researching for 3 awful papers I have to write. My only salvation? Coming here to read the boards every once and a while.
Unfortunately, you people aren't here posting for my amusement!!!
The raffle should be taking place later tonight. Whoo ha! Di finished the ticket audit at some obscene time earlier this morning (I was actually asleep, that's how obscene it was!).
The skin for the swap feedback is more or less implemented. There's a little detail work that needs to be done (a few image changes & maybe some table/color futzing) yet, but the lion's share is now done. This doesn't have the real image work, but it'll give you an idea of what it'l look like...
Yes, we bought Censura's reviewing software for our swap feedback. No, it's actually not that pretty out of the box. In fact, out of the box, it looks like this... and we don't like those default skins around here
Entry Title: Everwhere A Crisis
I think I have finally enabled my Hubby. I was looking at the GC trying to get over my pain at not being able to order at this update. I was just randomly reading off names of the scents...I got to Odin and Lee had a fit...The I did Yiggdrasil and Finris Wolf and he was panting. Yay!!!
It actually took me a bit to talk him out of buying bottles. I told him I would get him the Nordic/Death Gods imp pack with my Lunacy Update t his month.
I stumbled onto the computer to find a PM from the esteemed minilux, notifying me of the Monster Bait: Underpants LE arrival. When I finished rolling around on the floor with glee, I picked myself up and immediately ordered two bottles. I also ordered a bottle of Beltane, because Scotland and gardens and spring just gets my sap flowing. And laying on a bed wearing lovely panties with flower petals strewn all around you is a lovely thought, no?
My ofrenda today is set to honor Beth, high priestess of panty lovers, and to the lovely mods, who invoked the priestess to develop her panty potion. For without question, only friendly monsters should enter our gorgeous panties!
I this place.
I must say, even though I am not usually the kind of person who waxes poetic about commercial services... I could have the turbotax people's babies this morning.
I've been using Turbotax for the web for the past 5 years (Which is cool on its own, since they have PDFs of my last 5 tax returns available right there online.) It's a great tool, I've been really happy with it when I didn't have very complicated taxes. Since I don't own a house, I usually take the standard deduction, super easy.
When I first moved to California, though, That first year I had to file state taxes in both California and Kentucky. At that point in time, Turbotax only let you do one state tax return. It was a total headache. States don't make it easy, at all.
Anyway, this year, I have to file taxes in both California and Missouri. I was looking forward to the messy process of trying to figure out if I should file resident or non resident in each state, and figuring out how to deduct one state's taxes in the calculation for the other and all that stupid crap, when, lo and behold, Turbotax for the web tells me it can do up to 3 state income taxes and make them all work amongst themselves correctly. Dude, how awesome is that? I have to pay a whole new fee for each state's return, but I know that that extra $30 is saving me hours of confusion, and I sure as hell know that my time is worth it.
I did all of my taxes in an hour this morning. I think this deserves a trip to Starbucks.
I work for a state legislature. They only meet part of the year and they're almost finished, but the final week or two can involve working some long hours, because they meet into the night. A lot of it is a hurry-up-and-wait process for my office, since if there's something on the agenda, we have to sit around and wait for it to come up for debate. There may be a lot of blog entries from yours truly next week...
Anyway, this afternoon a coworker and I were looking at Monday's very long agenda. He commented on a bill title -- something to do with obscene materials. He said: "Hmmm...it's a smut bill." I automatically said: "I love teh Smut!"
He looked at me and said: "Really?" Not that he's a prude, not one little bit, it was just the rapidity of my remark and my great comfort in saying it that took him aback. I told him about Smut of the BPAL variety. He said: "Is this the same group that made the Beaver Moon t-shirt and that Naughty t-shirt?" I said yeah, more or less. (No point boring him with BPAL and BPTP distinctions.)
I still hope the lovely and talented Macha makes a Smut t-shirt design some day, 'cause we do love teh Smut.
I'm not much of a blogger - my barren LJ and Blurty accounts are proof of that. But I'm always on the forum whenever I get a free moment, so perhaps a blogspot *here* will actually get some attention.
Yay forum blog!
All right, I started into BPAL back in February... it's nearly April and I've already managed to try 57 scents.
I must be on a roll.
I've got about 32 I liked/loved. 25 that didn't work/I liked but not enough to keep. Which I assume is a good ratio. I've honestly only kept about 20-25 of the ones I liked, which will probably go down again because I need to really be ruthless.
Gluttony... good god that stuff is killing me. I only tried a tiny bit!!
Guess I'll go recull my keep box.
Snarky was just going to throw out a light, humorous, purple-prose-free post about the miracle of covering things in chocolate (obviously, the good), but she just got a call from the imaging center asking her to come back in for additional views (alarmingly, extremely, horrifically bad).
Based on her mother's occurences of breast cancer (2-3 times, depending on how you look at it), Snarky went in for an early baseline mammogram two days ago. The woman who called was very reassuring about the fact that several women get these "call backs", and that the reasons that are bringing Snarky back in (that have absolutely nothing to do with the glaring C WORD that neither mentioned over the phone) could be overlapped tissue and the fact that the radiologist wants the baseline mammogram to be as accurate as possible.
Still. Snarky can't help feeling the tears crawling up the back of her throat... nor the sense of absolute, blind, shrieking panic just barely restrained by her too-tight, too-cold skin.
Perhaps she should have saved the last chocolate covered Nutter Butter for later.
I know when I'm addicted when I notice little references to BPAL in everyday life. Such as a rerun of the Simpsons that mentioned the Telltale Heart. That instantly solved the decision of what BPAL I should test tonight. TTH it was! And I do like it, but not as much as Great Sword of War which is similar...
I can't get over how wonderful Anthelion is...there are times when it smells like gingerbread with creamy vanilla. Seriously. It actually resembles something from another etailer, but much nicer and with that magickal feel to it that only Beth can do. And it works...I think i will get round to doing a candle ritual or even a meditation with this stuff...I feel so cheerful and calm tonight, less argumentative too. Is that a result of the Anthelion? I also feel a lot less menstrual as well. I think that maybe another reason.
I hope that Beth does something fun for tomorrow. I also hope that anything released tomorrow (if that happens) will be up until at least Wednesday/Thursday? Why? I want to make a big order on my birthday!!!
I also hope my Peony Moon order gets sent asap...
This is a hypothetical question, of course... but why does my husband have to second guess everything I do lately in regards to our daughter??? The doctor I take her to isn't good enough in his mind. Nevermind he's the only doctor I completely trust him, and really like him, and see him for my own health care. And he goes to a PA who's answer to everything is to take an antibiotic, and that's ok?? Nevermind I'm the one who always takes her to the doctor. And he now seems to doubt I know best in everything that pertains to her MSUD. Who's the one who knows how to mix her formula, how much protein she can tolerate, who does her blood sticks, etc, etc, etc.? If I were to die tomorrow, he would be completely lost.
It's not being second guessed that I hate so much, it's just being second guessed by someone who has no knowledge on the subject, yet still assumes his way is the best way??
About 6yrs ago, my colon died. Kaput! Gave up the ghost. I was left drinking that nasty crap they make you drink before you have a colonoscopy - but I drank it every day just to go once a week so...
My Gastroenterologist was debating on having my colon removed but he decided I needed one more test before the decision was made. The only thing I was told about this test is that it was called a defacography and that it measured my rectal floor pressure - or in laymans terms, how well the shit went down the chute. Thus the term Defacography - a study of defacating - little did I know....
I arrived at the hospital for my test - very happy that, for once, this test didn't involve drinking vile tasting barium enhanced with Hershey's Quick to make it more palatable -ha! like you can disguise the taste of barium - hello?!
I am called for my test and follow the nurse through a hallway draped with plastic and tools all over the place (my hospital was having remodling and construction done) I enter a room that has an xray bed that is upright so you can stand in front of it. I am perplexed to see that there is a 5gallon bucket with a platstic liner in it, and a toilet seat on top of it, in front of the upright xray table.
I change into a lovely hosptial gown, complete with peek-a-boo rear, and I am asked to go sit on the make shift toilet while they take an xray. WTF? I am told it will show my rectal floor at rest. - okay, so that wasn't so bad.....
The xray table was then laid flat and I was asked to lay with my butt facing the doc. He lifts up my gown, exposing my blushing cheeks, and places and round metal piece on my butthole. I am then asked to stand up and squeeze my cheeks together so I don't loose said metal marker while they put the xray table back to horizontal and place makeshift toilet in front of table. I am asked to sit on the toilet thing (all the while keeping the metal thing in place) and they take another xray. At this point, I am thinking to myself, this is pretty ugly, I hope this is the end of the test. Ha! And it gets worse....
The xray table is once again laid flat, I am told to lay down on top of it. The doctor removes the marker. He goes off to get something, and I see him moving the construction worker"s tools out of his way. As he rummages around, I he picks up a calking gun and starts heading in my direction. OMG - the caulking gun is meant for me?! I thought it was part of all the construction but find out that it is one of the defacography dept. tools - I kid you not!
The doctor places a rubber hose on the end of the caulking gun, and in the slot that a tube of caulking material goes? He puts a tube of barium. He tells me to relax (ha! sure!) and he puts the tube up my butt and starts to "caulk" barium up my ass. I am thouroughly disgusted - How much worse can it get? Let me tell you, never ask that question, because, things can definitely get worse!!!!
So, my butt is full of barium and I am once again asked to get off the xray table while they once again place it upright with that damnable makeshift toilet in front. I am asked to sit on it and told - hold it hold it! and then, they start to raise the toilet thing with a remote control and..... drumroll please... for the finale....
The toilet thing I am sitting on is raised into the air. Yep, I am sitting there,barium caulked up my ass, on a stupid 5 gallon bucket with toilet seat attatched and I am about 5 feet in the air - and if that isn't humiliating enough.... an xray video camera is placed on the side of me, aimed at my poop chute. The doctor is standing in front of me - my knees are eye height to him (OMG can I just die now?!) and with video xray camera rolling, I am told to poop out the barium!!!!
Can I just say "OMFGWTHFBBQ?"
Poop out the barium, 5 feet up in the air, xray video cam rolling, my knees eye height with doc and technicians walking around the room? I am thinking to myself, "what kind of sick f*ck goes into this type of medical specialty? " and then I think to myself....
"I need to get a copy of this tape! I could sell it on a porn site for quite a bit of $$ to some weird freak who would probably get off watching an xray video of me pooping out barium." Hey! it's not like my face would be showing or anything!
Anyhow, I can't stop the stuff coming out of my butt - how much freaking barium did he caulk up there ? This is SICK and WRONG!!!!
Finally, the deed is done and I wash up, get dressed and leave -face red with embarassment....
La Ofrenda means "the offering," of course. I love it when Beth describes the ofrenda in the Excolo scents... ah, the offerings to the goddess or the god. The world "offering" to me conjures up passing a collection plate in a uptight church and it immediately takes on a repressed, dreary connotation. "Ofrenda" conjures up the smell, taste, texture and colors of all things juicy and real and alive that you'd offer in celebration to the diety.
There's always talk on the forum and in the blogs about putting on some gorgeous BPAL before you go to bed, and falling asleep in the delicious haze of that aroma. Isn't that an ofrenda to your subconscious self? I rather like the notion. Does it produce deeper sleep, more meaningful dreams, a calmer mind upon awakening?
What about anointing ourselves with BPAL during the day...couldn't we view it as an ofrenda to our waking life? And to our bodies? And I'm not talking about a nonstop, shallow, "I'm-so-fucking-hot" attitude, that vapid bullshit self-infatuation. I'm talking about appreciating your body and your soul for a few moments each the morning before you walk out into the mayhem of the world.
And lingerie is, of course, an ofrenda. Absolutely. While it's commonly seen as an ofrenda to another mortal, is it really? Is is just as much, and perhaps first and foremost, an ofrenda to yourself? Someone else may simply be lucky enough to participate in the celebration. And if there isn't someone else to participate, don't despair -- for the quiet, ritualistic ways that we appreciate the goddess that resides within, is to walk on holy ground.
So divas, anoint yourself, because you're gorgeous. And I'm wearing my cocoa loco bra again today because it's so great under clingy tops. My undies are lacy boyshorts with a keyhole peek-a-boo in the back. And I still haven't gotten over wearing Tunisian patchouli and O, blended together.
Maintaining the status quo.
Keeping a holding pattern.
Snarky has long suspected that she suffers from a slight case of whatever that dude in "Memento" had... her early life consisted of two year stretches between changes in scenery, and with each change she dropped most of her points of reference -- her friends, her hobbies, her life.
Pick up a new string, turn 180 degrees, start wandering the labyrinth again.
Sure, the "reset button" draws her back into a slightly different place each time, but it feels like two steps forward, one step back. It's a stilted, wonky march to the beat of time's inevitability.
There are a handful of touchstones. Powerful moments that break through the thorny hedgerows. Most of them are triggered by scent.
Today she's wearing Jacob's Ladder. The high, bright amber is bringing back memories of her maternal grandfather. Memories of his passing which was sudden, unexpected, and tinged by family lore about karma. He's been dead longer than he's been alive in her life, and that death still ripples through everyone in her family like a silent aftershock.
For years, his death froze her in a substrate of fear. Fear of nothingness and of simply not being anymore. It has taken time, but she is finally starting to see that being still and impacting little is an insult to this brief moment of somethingness she's been granted.
The amber is comforting, familiar. But it needs to be broken. She needs to climb those thorny hedges and see the labyrinth for what it is.
She's making a move.
Swimming for shore.
In the Summer of 2005, there was a family medical emergency.
I have, since then, been spending about half my week at my mother's home, offline, doing home-care. We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of her stroke and after a winter funk, are now looking at our options.
So, since late 2004, my reviews on this forum have been dwindling down to nearly nothing. Since I didn't do much here besides post reviews, I don't think may people actually found out what the deal was.
In mid-2004, I started getting really, really depressed. "Situational depression," some people called it. A 10-year relationship was going down the tubes. It ended formally in January 2005, shortly after New Years.
I moved out in late February/early March of 2005, and started building a life of my own.
Where art thou, Peony Moon? ::waitsimpatientlychecksemail:: Next time, I'll be a smart girl and separate GC orders from just released LEs. Then, I can get some imps to tide me over till the Lunacy oil arrives. I'm gonna go check out the How Do You Plan Your Order thread.
I sniffed some Peony-something at the Gap today. Smelled really soft, and pinkish, and nice and clean. Then I noticed that because the tester had been handled so much the oil was leaking out of the roller-ball thingy and soaked a bit of the bottle and my hand. Also, it had bits of dirt or something on it from being dropped on the floor probably. I hate that. What are these people doing to the roll on applicator?! It's not that hard to use!
Tried some commercial perfumes also. Thierry Mugler's Angel Violette and Cacherel's Promesse. The Angel smelled alcohol-y and then morphed into B.O on me. Nasty. Ugh. Promesse was better but nothing that impressed me enough for me to buy it right then and there. Flowery, soft, young, didn't smell like some dude who hadn't taken a shower in a summer week.
Really excited to hear about Hungry Ghost Moon . Sounds great.
Watched the Office without the bf there with me or on the phone with me, and it felt a bit weird. Still funny though. "Jim Halpert, clean up in Aisle 4, laundry detergent." and the Dwight NBC public service announcement was fantastic.
Also, my cat bit and clawed at me yesterday. I bled. A lot. For all the times he's a big ol' pile of fluff and cuteness there are just as many times he's a Little Furry Bastard.
My husband and I went and got one of those really neat misting fountains. It was not expensive and I could just smell how nummy my house would be with a BPAL misting fountain.
the lady that worked there said we got a free scent with our purchase. While I was trying to find a polite way to decline my hubby ran over and picked out cherry vanillia. Not bad..i like the scents.
So we got home he set it up and asked me how much to put in the fountain. Before I can even answer he dumps the entire bottle...that is 2 drams worth of cheap stuff into the fountain.
It smells nasty to the 9th. I have a headache..my throat hurts..and I'll have to live with this nasty shit.
he on the other hands love it..thinks it smells great. Poor Poor soul. I fear there is not hope for him
If I ever find myself independently wealthy I want to open a ranch like this:
Rolling Dog Ranch
And I want to spend my vacations renting properties like these:
Private Properties Abroad
Oh, and I've just finished reading a trashy 1940's novel called "Dragonwyck" and I'm trying to decide whether to go to bed tonight with John Steinbeck or Carl Jung. Carl Jung might be more fun, because he comes as a package with Joseph Campbell.
Snarky never claimed to be "goth", but she apparently ended up that way.
Black just suited her better, and while her musical tastes have always been on a diet, she enjoys what little genre music does happen to wander past her plate.
Oh and there's the poetry. The breadth and depth of which must surely qualify her for some sort of angsty, navel-gazey, inky black award.
It was on Glampyre's suggestion that BPAL would appeal to more "gothic" tastes that brought Snarky into the fold in the first place. But instead of finding a more delicious brew in which to wallow Snarky has found mostly happiness and resonance through BPAL.
Better living through (esoteric, alchemical) chemistry, as it were.
This morning's judicious application of Danse Macabre has eased Snarky out of her Existential Funk. She's now contemplating dinner with The Mister (another date-date!), a minor sandwich cookie binge (probably not, though, because of aforementioned date-date), and (hopefully) impending landed gentry-dom. It feels good to be grounded in the here-and-now again, rather than the shoulda-woulda-couldas.
However, Snarky will endeavour to honor her inky black roots and try mightily to contemplate something deepy dark and morbid. Possibly the wretched demise of this damned intranet site she's been trying to build for the last two months. Surely therein lies a tale of woe.