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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 7,420 views
 

Cake

Remember my wedding cake decorator? Free cake, as a wedding gift? Yeah, apparently, she's not going to be able to do that anymore. The move that she told me she'd be in the middle of when she offered to do it has caused her to be unable to do it. Her pans are all lost and she can't find anything for her kitchen and... dude. DUDE! My wedding is on freaking friday!! YYRRRAAAAARRRGGHHH!

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

reviews this.machine#1

AGLAEA: Three golden ambers, bright musk, peach wine and myrtle. A BEAUTIFUL, bright sweet peach! Smells just like Bath and Body Works discontinued scent Peach Nectar. I LOVE this. The ambers are non-existant on me, either that or they blend in/emphasize the peach perfectly. I also can't detect the musk, but it may be also emphasizing the peach. I don't know what myrtle smells like, but I *maybe* can detect a hint of floral behind the peach? (it may be just because I WANT to smell the floral ) I love this scent so much. I am definitely buying a 5ml.   BLUEBEARD: A scent swirling with dark rage, unbridled jealousy, and murderous intent. Violet, lavender, white musk and vetiver. The lavender hit me at once. Now I can smell those dreadful violets... and they are almost as strong as the lavender. despite my hatred for violets I must say how perfect they blend with lavender. I couldn't detect the vetiver, which I know is a pretty strong, bitter note. The scent didn't smell murdeous to me, but it is definitely masculine and reminds me of the sea.   GAUEKO: The Basque God of Night and all the perils of the darkness. Though he is the God of the Danger that Lurks in the Gloom, he is kind to men and warns them against the nighttime hazards and sets rules of conduct for both the living and the dead as they travel through his domain. It is said that since the warm, vibrant daylight is for the living, the abodes of night are reserved for the dead. All who heed his counsel are protected, but woe be to any man that disobeys the laws of Gaueko: he is swift to punish those that would scorn his advice. Blackened sandalwood and misty lavender, with curling wisps of smoky tobacco, nag champa, and labdanum. Wow. Nag champa and lavender! I love Nag champa with a passion and I let out a huge squee when I first sniffed this in my imp. Wow, I never knew that Nag Champa and lavender could blend together and compliment each other so wonderfully! The nag champa is most noticeable in the vial, wet on skin it is mostly lavender, dry on skin it is mostly nag champa! Oh, my love! Another to add to my 5ml wishlist. I'm also going to have to make room on my top 10!   REGAN A deceptively sweet orchid vanille with a faint trace of stephanotis. When wet, it is VERY STRONG, and smells very much like Follow Me Boy (which sometimes gives me a headache) smells like jasmine and baby powder, and nothing like the orchids I am used to (like Shadow Witch Orchid). However, after it dries down there is a lovely vanilla (it was disguised as jasmine! it was SOMEHOW really vanilla!)   SLOTH VERY dark and murky. musky. I'm not sure I can handle much of this without a headache. reminds me a bit of cheap drugstore cologne from the early 90's. But it also smells almost like depression, stagnation.   LIBER RESH VEL HELIOS: TUM Hail unto Thee who art Tum in Thy setting, even unto Thee who art Tum in Thy joy, who travellest over the Heavens in Thy bark at the Down-going of the Sun. Tahuti standeth in His splendour at the prow, and Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm. Hail unto Thee from the Abodes of Day! GRAPES. Smells just like grape bubblegum, which is not a bad thing but it also means it smells artificial. Myrrh or frankincense, patchouli? musk of some sort. hard to detect what is beyond that. It is very calming even though the scent is strong. I could totally see how it can describe the setting sun. The grape remindsme of this weird air freshener my grandmother has. I'm not sure whether I like this or not.   UTRENNYAYA The Morning Star Osmanthus, Damascus rose, violet, delphinium, white mint, palmarosa and white sandalwood. When wet it is very herbally, minty. Very green smelling. It reminds me a bit of Envy with its smell of fresh green cut grass and of mint. Sweet though, as I can smell the florals through it as if the green smells were a fence or a screen. A lot of notes I can't quite place, but it definitely smells like a late spring/early summer scent. ETA: definitely more floral as it dries.   WINNERS OF THIS REVIEW: Gaueko and Aglaea!

ancilla_morte

ancilla_morte

 

Stress

I fear that I'm not a good person. I don't have very many friends, and those I do have seem to be pulling away from me.   I'm not sure why I have such a hard time making and keeping friends. My whole history of friendships show how people end up not liking me as a friend, and then dumping me.   I just want a couple of good friends that I can call and talk to, or hang out with. I have my husband, and he's great (and I do wonder sometimes how he can stand me), but I only see him on the weekends.   I had really wanted to go to the meet & sniff in SC this weekend, and now it appears that no-one is going. I was really looking forward to it, and now all I have to look forward to is a weekend of lots and lots of cleaning.   I'm sad and I'm lonely, and I'm super stressed out over work and the wedding, and now that my in-laws are coming to visit, I'm stressed about that.

Eoywin

Eoywin

 

It's all in your head.

Snarky developed some psychosomatic quirks during her senior year back in Nerd School. She was falling into a mild depression, feeling the strain of separation from her first serious boyfriend (the relationship was a bit co-dependent), and she was at a complete loss as to where/what she wanted to go/do/be after graduation.   About once a month she would come down with symptoms of a particularly virulent stomach virus that didn't exist. Two days of debilitating gastro-intestinal distress then suddenly nothing, and back to her self-imposed hermit-like existance of skipping meals in the cafeteria in lieu of a pseudo-monastic supper of rye bread and onion soup (She's not sure why she settled on this particular combination, it was probably something she picked up from reading The Name of the Rose and/or the better option compared to flagellation.). Naturally her suitemates didn't take any of this seriously and did their best to harrass her into being more sociable.   The psychosomatic weirdness climaxed with a spectacular presentation of a raging case of hives during final exams. Every where her skin was constantly touched - her bra strap, necklines and waistlines, where her low pony tail rested against the nape of her neck, bloomed with red, itchy welts. She added two Benadryls to her rye bread and onion soup communion every night and had nightmares about physics exams and botany practicals.   Eventually her skin cleared and she graduated (probably in that order) and after that traumatic senior semester, nothing quite so extreme happened to her again.   But she remembers that it's possible. A crouching gremlin hiding in her meat and bones, waiting for the right triggers.   Last week The Mister took two days off of work because of stomach problems. Today, a full week later, he's still not quite back to normal. He comes from a family that doesn't always think to go to the doctor until the problem becomes much worse, so Snarky's attempts at getting him to Get Help have been treated as Chiken Little-style freakouts.   Finally, though, he is thinking about seeing his doctor. Even if this ends up being all in his head (his work is approaching a critical turning point this week) she hopes that seeing the doctor will help him somehow.   In the meantime, her own stomach has been a bit sour and sullen as well. Whether it is in sympathy (the closest to synced menses they'll ever get), or due to exposure to him (if it is an actual bug), or due to a whole new resurgence of her old sub-conscious mind/body craziness (always an underlying possiblity), she's unclear. Perhaps she'll never fully focus on the cause. She just hopes the effects for both The Mister and herself go away soon.

darkitysnark

darkitysnark

 

No Coast

I just love this -- there's a roller derby club in the town that I live in called the No Coast Derby Girls. The name alone is priceless. There's two teams -- Gang Green (team color green, obviously) and the Mary Kay Mafia (wearing pink, of course). There's a match in early July and I hope to attend. Several of the girls on the teams go to my favorite coffeehouse, and come limping in, sporting large bruises, all that jazz. They are just wild maniacs, and I do so appreciate that.   And speaking of being in No Coast land, if there's a beach near you, please go to it for me. I have a good friend in Tampa and I'm always asking her to at least drive by the beach and honk at it for me. For those of you who live near very large lakes with quasi-beaches, that works too.   I must share a bit of kitsch from my home state that is probably more evidence that since there's no beach or large body of water or mountains, we fixate on phallic symbols. (You need look no further than me for evidence of that. ) I believe it was in the 1930's that someone decided to create a lake and a faux beach between Lincoln and Omaha near the Platte River. It's called Linoma Beach (heh, heh, Lincoln and Omaha, get it?)   And below is a photo of Linoma beach, and yes, that is a light house. It's often said there have been no shipwrecks there, so it must be doing its job. That may be because the lake is so shallow and it's so dry in this state that only an inner tube can make its way out onto the water. I think I'll have to go there at least once this summer, if only for the amusement value.  

valentina

valentina

 

Crypt

I've been so busy, trying to wrap up my work so I can have a couple weeks of travel before I head home, so I've not resized and uploaded many pictures of the last batch of churches. I went to Poitiers on Friday, though, and was completely taken in by the crypt of the 6th century Saint Radegunde (one of my personal heroines, simply because she was an uppity, yet humble, woman). Here's a quickie of me in the crypt, Peony Moon blooming in the candlelight...   ...and another of the steep stairs down to the crypt. An amazing place.   The crypt up close. It was beautiful and peaceful.   I'm off to Toulouse on Thursday, hopefully more pics up by then!

Heretic

Heretic

 

Picture post, part two: flowering plants

I had too many pictures for one post...   Here are my mini roses, I have 5 buds that will be opening in the next week or two. As prissy as they are, the roses are pretty rewarding.   I got more indoor plants this week too, I ordered an African Violet from Bluebird Greenhouse - By the way, they are *awesome* - The plants came in beautiful condition, and they sent me a free gift plant! I decided to go with a fancy greenhouse because I didn't want to risk getting a buggy plant from Lowes or Home Depot.   This is the one I ordered, Newton Quiet Resolve. I have seen picture's of other people's plants on the web, and this one often has very variagated leaves. Mine aren't showing much in the way of variagation yet, but the plant will be in my office under my flourescent desk lamp 9 hours a day, so the variagation will hopefully become more pronounced. (Check out the one about 1/3 of the way down on this page)   This is the free gift, Aca's Passionate. This one is going to live in my bedroom.

antimony

antimony

 

Garden at the one-month mark.

For those of you that are following the progress of my garden, here are this week's pictures: Please excuse my complete inability to work the autofocus this week.   The enormous tomato: (It's a one-plant jungle) I finally did give in and loosely tie the stems to the hanging hook with old knee-highs, since I was starting to feel concerned that the stems were getting *really* heavy.   Here's a cluster of little tomatoes:   And here's the tomato I showed you guys last week. It's cherry-sized, but instead of being round, it's shaped like a regular tomato!   The experimental tomato, however, is still languishing. Not dead, but not really all that alive either:   The pepper is taking off, it's covered in buds, and I'm really looking forward to having a huge crop of habaneros in a month or two:   The strawberries? The plants look healthy enough, but they are still not growing flowers:   Finally, check out my morning glories/moonflowers: (I've made them a trellis out of jute twine) Despite the look of the picture, they are not speeding acoss my balcony at 60mph!

antimony

antimony

 

Van Van and skeletal librarians

It's been a long while since I posted, but an update on the voodoo - Van Van is wonderful stuff, and so is Horn of Plenty. I have managed to land a job with the sort of income that means that I will be able to spend some serious money on my addiction if I so desire, so I've had to think carefully.I looked over the TAL site and I have found what I think will be a good first order from them - a range of oils that will assist me in things that I want to do. Hymn to Pan will be about keeping me on the creative/designing road while I'm working. Concentration is for me, but also for my boyfriend, who has ADD and finds it hard to focus even with medication. I'd love to try him on this, because he's a fan of BPAL as well. White light is a general all purpose purification blend, and I will introduce it to the group of people I''m about to begin practicing ritual magic with. Attuning is also for this purpose, and will be for waking up to the energies - i'm think of one person in particular who insists that she's psychic as a rock, but it'll be useful to all of us.when I'll get these oils, I'm not sure. I am looking forward to buying Chaos Theory III, and I will have a collection of Salon imps coming to me, so that might drastically change my plans for my next BPAL purchase.but the skeletal librarian t-shirt? oh, want. I've wanted that one above all the others for ages and ages. I'm going to buy it, with my first paycheque, and that's the end of the discussion.The Efficacy of Van Van led me to investigate luckymojo, and I found the recipe to mix your own. I think I like this particular touch for Van Van, so I'm going to buy the EO's and make my own batch, and use it as floorwash and in baths and anywhere I need a good cleanup. I'm going to have to banish and purify my house really soon, and I'd like to do it with Van Van. since I will need to have this stuff in enormous quantities, it's better (and more economical) for me to make it myself. I mean, I need this in the record executive needs a huge bottle of snake oil once a month kind of way, except for ritual as well as beauty purposes.my effects with High John the Conqueror will have to wait - as soon as I got the imp I knew there was someone who was going to need it more, so I gave that imp to him. I also got a little imp of Mercury, and I'm going to save it for anointing when I need to write - that's what I wanted Mercury for.Last Bpal Acquired: Mercury, High John the ConquerorLast Bpal Worn: TezcatlipocaPlanned Bpal Buys: Chaos Theory III, Osun, The Caterpillar, Aunt Caroline's Joy MojoPlanned TAL Buys: Hymn To Pan, Concentration, White Light, AttuningPlanned Trading Post Buys: Skeletal Librarian Tee (waaaaant)

Athena's Owl

Athena's Owl

 

some Voodoo, there

I only own two voodoo blends: Horn of Plenty and Van Van.   I wore Van Van last night before going to bed. when I woke up in the morning my luck had uncrossed itself. I can move forward now. between that and the fact that Van Van oil has vetiver in it I am completely interested in voodoo blends, now.   I've decided to try Horn of Plenty the next time I'm working on increasing my prosperity, as that is what it's for.   I suppose this post is specifically my wishlist for GC voodoo blends, then:   Aunt Caroline's Joy Mojo Block Buster Chuparosa Has no Hanna Queen Red Devil Water of Notre Dame Wolf's Heart   Last Bpal Acquired: Dia de los Muertos, 2005 blend Last Bpal Worn: Dia de los Muertos, 2005 blend Planned Bpal Buys: Salon Decant Circle, full set

Athena's Owl

Athena's Owl

 

Inventory!

I needed to do a little "inventory", to see what i have kept with all the sales/swaps I have gone through!   LE 5mls   A Demon in My View: Annabel Lee the Evening Star Al-Araaf spirits of the dead   Yule: Snow White 2005 MidWinter's Eve 2005 (x2) lick it nuclear winter yuletide '05 stardust   Carnivale Noir: Bearded Lady house of mirrors kunstkammer freak show   Maelstrom: Berenice ligeia Morella Montresor Fortunato   A Little Lunacy: Fruit Moon Beaver Moon Harvest Moon Peony Moon   Halloween spooky the haunted palace pumpkin patch 1-2-3   Various: the Peacock Queen Mi-Go Brain Canister Enraged Bunny Musk Beltane 2005 pink phoenix tulzcha harvest moon devil's night queen of diamonds Smut   GC 5mls   Sin & Salvation: Dirty Sea of Glass Roadhouse   Bewitching Brews: Empyreal Mist the Hesperides Leanan Sidhe   Funereal Oils: Embalming Fluid   Mad Tea Party: Frumious Bandersnatch 2-5-&-7 Tigerlily the Unicorn the Dormouse   Wanderlust Machu Picchu   Diabolus Kitsune-tsuki Dracul   Love Potions La Belle Au Bois Dormant   Excolo Aizen-Myoo   Rappaccini's Garden Sundew   coming soon: litha, hungry ghost moon, chaos theory 3, dunwich, chiroptera, sepulcher, arkham revisited, , herr drosselmeyer, old yerevan, thunderbird, city in the sea   LE/DC Imps   Halloween: Trick or Treat   A Demon in My View: the City in the Sea   Carnivale Noir: gypsy queen   Yule: Gingerbread Poppet   Maelstrom: Usher   A Little Lunacy budding moon storm moon   Celestials: Virgo   Naughty/Nice Lump of Coal snow angel   Various: 13 Dios de Los Muertos 2004 the Perfumed Garden beatrice   Single Notes honeysuckle     TAL Decants blessing of isis attuning concentration astral travel   coming soon: hand of hermes, white light, temple celtic, bastet's laughter   GC Imps   aglaea ophelia persephone polyhymnia thaleia titania tweedledee utrennayaya yerevan amsterdam antony baneberry baron samedi delirium dracul x2 endymion (x3) hamadryad hell's belle kumiho megeara the mock turtle's lessons x2 namaste neo-tokyo the raven chuperosa the apothecary xiuhtecuhtli phantom queen bon vivant baobhan sith olokun eve envy Tenochititlan the hanging gardens shattered swank tempest shanghai szepasszony dorian gluttony kuang shi   coming soon: aizen-myoo, the dormouse, dorian, danube, leanan sidhe, phobos,

eviltemptressdq

eviltemptressdq

 

Evolution in rant form

I've been on the forum forever. Like, I joined when it wasn't even bpal.org yet. I have a double-digit member number, and what looks like a ton of posts, but when you spread it out over how long I've been here... Anyway, the forum has gotten huge, and I don't feel like I connect very much anymore. I feel like the bulk of the community (at least the people talking) are students or artists, or whatever. And my spreadsheet-jockey, buisiness-casual lifestyle really doesn't fit in.   And the funny thing is, I feel like I used to. Certainly the community has opened up to wholeheartedly embrace all kinds of people, but every thread that bashes private colleges or higher education just turns my stomach. Every thread that dumps on people essentially for having disposable income and then, gasp, spending it! Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive, but I'm not taking away from anyone else by being successful, and the pattern of every time lifestyle/socioeconomic class/income/etc comes up in a thread, the undercurrent is that is is somehow inherently immoral to be well off just irritates the crap out of me. I work hard, have a valuable skill, and made some good choices. I earned my good life.   I did not grow up rich. I did not grow up priveledged. We moved to the US when I was a little kid, My dad was a professor at a state college, and my mom was a post-doc. But they worked hard, and I learned a lot about what it takes to "make it."   I am not evil. I am envionmentally conscious. I drive a fairly fuel-efficient car, and live close to work so I won't have a crazy commute. I grow vegetables on my balcony. I believe in universal access to health care, and education. I believe in having a social safety net. But I also believe that once you give everyone the same opportunity for success, that's it. People deserve the same opportunities, they don't deserve the same outcomes. Your life is what you make of it. My life is what I made of it too.   I don't know what brought this on... Certainly not a specific thread recently... I guess I'm just feeling like I like it a lot better over here on the blog side where the community is a lot smaller, and we're all following each other's lives in a personal way. Over here, I don't feel reduced to a cartoon yuppie. I don't feel like a freak for my "egg brain" I don't feel like I'm making anyone else feel bad about themselves over here, either. Grr.

antimony

antimony

 

Mint Car

...so yeah, I didn't know what to title this entry so I called it the first thing that popped into my head. I do The Cure. ******************* Weird Dreams:   I really need to stop reading historical non-fiction before I go to bed. The other night I dreamt that I was a court Lady at Versailles and I was dancing with Louis XVI. His coat was silver and blue silk and it had fleur du lis on it. Anyways, all I remember about the dance was that he kissed me and it was **hot** . Yeah, very weird to get a hot kiss from a king who was allegedly socially inept. Even if it was dream-kiss. (For the record, the book was Marie Antoinette: The Journey by Antonia Fraser.)   The other dream I had more recently:   It is the very first day of graduate classes and I'm sitting in a drab, gray room. Suddenly, it's announced that we will have a pop-quiz. On the first day, crap! So I'm freaking out, and I find out that for this quiz we have to pick two songs, write down the lyrics and either analyze or critique them. So my two songs were gonna be "Shady Lane" by Pavement and "This Could Be Love" by Alkaline Trio, only I could not for the life of me remember the damn lyrics..   While I was freaking out, I find that I only have 20 minutes left to complete the quiz and just when I start to panic all over again, I wake up.   ******************* Tonight a family friend graduated from art school with a graphic design degree. He even designed the invitations that the school distributed to guests, which I think is awesome.   Anyways, to celebrate we went to have some Korean BBQ. And can I just say? MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ There is no emoticon available that is drool-y enough for me to convey how yummy it was. I'm dragging the boy there next time, not that he'd mind.

circe_blue

circe_blue

 

The Last Ecstatic Moment with Lovely BPAL

I splurged and bought a Photoplay from November 1926 that I found in a soon-to-be-closed antique and collectibles store. I love reading the articles and ads, and there was a perfume ad for a company called "Cheramy New York: Perfumes of Youth." They must have spent a pretty penny on the ad, as almost the whole magazine is in black-and-white except for the occasional ad pages in color (the other side of the color page is Palmolive soap). The best part is the breathless prose:   The Last Ecstatic Moment with Lovely April Showers   When you have on a good-looking new frock. when you know that coiffure, make-up, and every detail is just right; when instinct tells you that admiring glances will follow as you pass; then approve the finishing touches before a long mirror and add assurance with springlike April Showers!   For April Showers, the perfume of youth, will lift imagination to heights of ecstacy -- give you joyful thrill of life and youth and conscious power .... It is a breezy fragrance; friendly -- eager -- young! You will love the rare, capricious charm of April Showers in perfumes, powders, rouges, jewel-like little compacts, and other necessary toiletries.   -----   Holy crap, where has this been all my life? I want heights of ecstasy! I need a joyful thrill of life AND youth AND conscious power. I don't even know what exactly that means, but I need it! I too want to be friendly, eager and young -- not surly, tired and old like I am now.   That does it -- I'm going to spray assurance on me and everyone else around, whether they want it sprayed on them or not. Oh, and I'm going to start saying "rouge" too.

dawndie

dawndie

 

Sandra Bullock's hair and other stuff

My hairdresser does have a good sense about what is trendy, because she cut my hair into this cut about a month ago, and I haven't been entirely sure about it. It's a lot healthier, but I just wasn't sure. My hair does grow really fast, especially in the summer, and now it's probably a half-inch longer. Anyway, last night I walked by the TV and there was Sandra Bullock on Leno, with my haircut. Mine needs another half-inch or so to hit the same length as Sandy, and I have sideswept bangs and she doesn't. But I'm taking in the Sandy photos at the end of this month and instructing Brandi that I want to maintain at Sandy's length. Same cut, just a bit longer.   Sandra, you probably know, went with Matthew McConaughey for quite a while. What you might not know is that her next boyfriend was that my favorite singer and designated ideal cutie-pants, Bob Schneider. I am not very jealous of her about Matthew, but about Bob, oh yeah, I'm jealous. Not really, I just say "good for you, sistah!" Then she married Jesse James, the West Coast Chopper guy. He doesn't do much for me, but I think Sandra is a biker chick at heart.   Last night I was listening to Caroline Myss, and sometimes I find her to be borderline moonbatty, but in general I really enjoy her perspective. And that perspective is looking at the intuitive, mystical side of life, as seen by a really brassy Chicago broad who doesn't mince words. I was lucky to pick out the CD that I did, because it was equivalent to getting a good lecture from a friend who pulls no punches. I am not going to lay all my garbage (or as I like to say it in this context, "garh-bhage") on you, but I really need to get my shit together. If I would detail all the complications in my life right now, you'd probably not believe me.   Caroline makes some statements that always help my perspective -- to look at the people in your life, especially those who have a great impact upon you, as someone with whom you have a sacred contract. It's not your job to figure out why they are there, or why you are there. And don't worry about your life working or not working if they are there or not there -- because you know what? You weren't born to live for them, you were born to live for yourself. And at the end of the day, if you're meant to be together, it will happen. And if you're not meant to be together, it won't happen. Simply endeavor to live out your end of the deal as well as you possibly can, giving respect to yourself first, and then to the others in your life. But don't take shit off of them if they aren't playing fair. She calls it living in the heart of the paradox, and that's very true.   Ah, should it be that easy. I'm there a lot of the time, but then there's always a person or two who are huge, huge challenges. And then I feel like I'm being eviscerated. It's such a lovely sensation. But as one of my other favorite wise women, Pema Chodron, likes to say, a lot of these really strong emotions have a shelf life of 24 to 48 hours.   So I'll wait it out, kind of like how I'm waiting for my hair to grow out to Sandra Bullock's length. Actually, I'll forget about how I'm feeling faster than my hair will grow, and I'm not upset about my hair, so what gives?

valentina

valentina

 

Scratch me please..oh pllllease..

Ok, more than a single itch..how about 43 of em?(yes, i counted) Thats what i get for going canoeing and not applying Deet/Bug Off..i was a feast for many skeeters and the sad thing is I didnt even realize they were biting me. So i just got done soaking in Aveeno oatmeal bath and it does feel alot better but the urge to tear & scratch my flesh is about to drive me to the brink of madness. I was actually crying cuz it hurt so much yet I had to keep itching away. It doesnt help that most of them are in clusters around my ankles & tops of me feet. Gargh. This always happens, last year I went canoeing and got into a patch of poison ivy and was in HELL for weeks and now this. Geeez. Maybe I should stick to winter sports and spend my summers indoors knitting g-strings or something.   Reek of: Devil's Night Playin' on my ipod: "A Different Kind of Blue" Passengers

Astburygrrl

Astburygrrl

 

My New Grandson! Pictures!

~*~ Announcing ~*~ Ryley Norman Leach June 14,2006 8lbs 11oz. 21 inches   My first grandchild!! He is so beautiful, healthy and strong! Just Precious! I was so excited to hear that my son Jourdan and his wife Breanne, gave him the middle name that they did. It is in honour of my father whose first name is Norman. It is also my parents first great grand child as well, so that, combined with Ryley's middle name after my father, has made them as giddy as we are! My husband Bill, my other son Marshall and I drove down to be with them for a couple of days and it was such an awesome time!   Breanne was in labor for 17hrs!!! I don't know what I would have done if I would have had 17 hrs of labor and 45 minutes of it spent pushing! I am so proud of her. She was such a trooper and I know that she is going to be a really great mom!     A very tired Grandma (me) after 19 hours at the hospital!   Ryley is the most precious baby - of course I am not partial at all! He doesn't even look newborn to me with all of that hair. You can't really tell in the pictures but his hair is clear down over his ears! As for nursing, he was a hungry boy the minute he arrived and hasn't had a problem nursing at all! He loves to suck on his fingers too! He has been sleeping very well and is really easy going. It takes alot to make him upset enough to cry but once he starts, that boy has a big set of lungs on him!!!   Ryley loves to suck on as many fingers as he can get in his mouth!   I thought I was pretty prepared for Ryley's arrival but I wasn't prepared for the emotion! Just holding our beautiful grandson had me awash with so many emotions, I just sat and cried and stared at him. He is the spitting image of his father when he was a baby (except the long hair) and it was just like holding Jourdan all over again when he was a newborn! That brought back so many memories and emotion in just the one instant that I was totally overwhelmed - it was such a wonderful moment!!!     Spitting image of his father!   I can't tell you enough what a joy it is to have him here with us finally. He is going to be one spoiled baby by Grandma and Grandpa! He is so very precious!     Grandpa naps with Ryley   Uncle Marshall helps Ryley understand the finer points of WOW     The Proud Parents!   I am so proud of the kids and I know that they are going to be absolutely wonderful parents! Marshall plans on being the really fun Uncle and he just looks so natural with the ba bies! He is such a doll. Bill and I are excited for Christmas already! And now, the real fun begins!! I am so thankful for all of the people out there who sent their loving thoughts and congrats to the whole family! We are so blessed to have a healthy and happy new addition to our family and I want to thank you all for all you do and have done for me!

Rhowan

Rhowan

 

Finals, check

I need to go see a movie this weekend. I just don't have time. My future in laws will be here next week- I'm really excited to see them. They're fantastic. We're going to have to clean a LOT before they get here, though. A LOT. I also need to see about getting my nails done, figure out what is going to be done with my hair, and figure out if we're going to have 100 guests or 10. So, the wedding will be here in a week- yay! bounce, bounce, bounce- it's finally heeeeeere!   Next up? The divorce. Not mine- my parents. Yeah, apparently my mother isn't going to do it after all. It's this whole big thing. BUT. She might be moving into our very small place. Our very small place with two cats and a housemate already... and she may bring her cat, too... I don't know. I don't have the energy to deal. My brain is fried. And I'm so freaked out about my dress... I'm really hoping it's here on monday.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Venting, etc.

So I think I've found a place to get my hair styled and cut. It's getting really long and icky so I'm excited to have it have some body again. I need it to be about 2.5 inches shorter and I think I want it to kinda look like this. Yes, I realize that's the girl from Final Fantasy and no, I've never played it before. The boy thinks this is hilarious because he is an avid gamer and has been telling me all along that Advent Children is a pretty movie and I'll like it. Yay, hair whoo!   *************** An old friend friended me on Facebook.com the other day. I am waaay too tired to be a Facebook elitist, so now I just re-friend anyone who asks including this guy. Anyways, I would normally think that the reason this person added me was to have his friend's list be 256,934 long or whatever the number is to beat these days. But, he also left me a message which was really nice. It was something along the lines of "we haven't talked in a while and I was just talking to so and so and I was reminded of you. What are you up to these days, etc."   The thing is, I'm not sure what to think. Our friendship did not end well. He was being what I thought (and still think) very clingy("where are you?? what are you doing?? who are you with? are you avoiding me??!") and we argued and I literally said to him to Fuck Off. Yeah, I know that wasn't very nice. But I am thinking of responding to his message, just so I can handle things more, uh, maturely this time. I'm not even sorry our friendship ended all that much. He didn't like any of my other friends so I was avoiding them to hang out with him. It was for the best, really. We spent all of our time together and I didn't like the person I was (and was becoming) when I was around him. I'm just ashamed of how it ended. I guess I have habit of burning bridges with friends. Another friend I just froze out after my sophomore year of college. And this person, we'll call her C, I've been friends with since middle school. I ended this friendship because honestly, I was getting really jealous of her and as a result I was getting depressed that I wasn't as pretty, beautiful, glamorous, wealthy, smart as she was. I got tired of being "the friend" at clubs. You know, the friend guys always target so they can get they prettier friends number out of you? I was tired of working my ass off just to get by in college while she was off jetsetting around Europe because she had a trust fund that her parents set up for her. I was jealous of how pretty she was with no effort at all while I struggled to keep my weight down. I still have all those issues actually, and thinking about them now still makes me sad. It was so hard to catch up with her during summer (she went to school in Europe) and have her go on and on about what she did that year when the only I did was work and study and try to keep afloat. I do think it was selfish of me to end that friendship the way I did. She was never anything but nice to me, but I couldn't handle my own crap and the jealousy that I felt. I'm actually thinking of contacting her again, apologizing for the way things went down and trying to be chatty again at least. I have a 5-year High School Reunion coming up this fall and I don't want to have to avoid someone because I can't handle my shit, ya know? Thing is, I don't even know if confident enough in myself to be "second fiddle" (at least in my mind) again. Anyways, my question to anyone who might be reading this long-ass post is have you ever had a situation where you just had to let a friendship go? What did you about it, if anything. Also, what do you think I should do. I guess I'm looking for advice 'cause you know, guilt agghh! *********** Geez, this was not the lighthearted entry I meant it to be. Here, I'll lighten things up a little: A man is sitting in bar when a guy with a giant, orange head comes in and sits right by him. He asks, "Hey man, what happened?" "Oh this? Well, I found this lamp and then I rubbed it. A genie came out and said I had three wishes. I asked for hot wife which is how I met her-" and he takes a photo of beautiful model out of his wallet. "And for my second wish I asked to be rich-" he then pulls out a $100 bill to pay for his drink."And for my last wish, and here is where I think I went really, horribly wrong..I asked for a giant, orange head."

circe_blue

circe_blue

 

Eye of the Tiger

Did I mention my whole math saga yet? I mean, the latest part of it. Just for the record, I don't like doing badly. So sucking in math this quarter has been a huge strain on my anxiety. HUGE. (Learning that I might be able to draw, however, has been priceless.) And I've sucked to the point where I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull a D-, which is a .7. I was pissed at myself when I got a 3.1 out of intro to Anthropology. That's just for comparison, so the sting of this is crystal clear. Monday, my instructor showed us our grades going into the final. Mine was a .5- I could lose my financial aid if I don't get at least a .7. This sucks. SUCKS! So I go in on tuesday, absolutely flattened because there's just no way I can see I'll be able to score high enough on the final to pull a .7; no way. She comes over again and goes, "Oh, I was mistaken. THIS is actually what you have right now." And points to a 1.7. Uh, that's quite a change. It also puts me into range for pulling a 2.0, which is what I need to move past college level algebra. Most importantly, it is NOT a .5!! Holy shit.   So now I don't want to screw up my grade. I want to do well on the final, and I have no idea if I can do that or not. I'm not prepared. I know I'm going to be taking it over again, but... it'd be nice to do it because I want to, not because I have to. Y'know?

smallvoice

smallvoice

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