Jump to content
Post-Update: Forum Issues Read more... ×
BPAL Madness!

Blogs

Featured Entries

  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 5,900 views
 

Unsophisticated

I realize I'm unsophisticated. To some people I'm probably pretty tacky. I'd rather hang out in a bar eating something fried out of a basket and drinking a beer than somewhere fancy and expensive and all dressed up. Our home furnishings range from "comfy" to "odd." Some pictures on the wall are posters in cheap frames. I don't travel to exotic places, and really don't want to. We got married in Vegas, and my dress cost $100 online.   But I work full time. Everything we have we've paid for -- we didn't get help with the house, or the cars, or have a bunch of money placed in our bank account. I have a college degree, but went to an inexpensive school and got a 4-year scholarship.   I have extended family members who have a lot of money, and they live nearby. They probably feel obligated to invite us to family functions. They like talking about their vacations and how much their house is worth. Their kids go to the privatest of schools and are thought to be perfect in every way.   I'm tired of pretending I like them. And I'm not going to do it anymore.

dawndie

dawndie

 

Hey Jack Kerouac, Part II

Really, Jack Kerouac was once so amazing, and I would have shamelessly chased him around when he was young and beautiful and angsty and idealistic, before he became a totally gone alcoholic former hipster angrily spewing forth bloated hateful bile in his overly dominant mother's home in Florida, renouncing all of his hepcat Zen ways and pushing away everyone who had adored him.   (That was a poor attempt to write just a bit like him.)   So let's just look at him when he was so fine:  

valentina

valentina

 

Aging Geeksters Unite!

Oh man, the Thomas Dolby concert was AWESOME. Even if "She Blinded Me with Science" is the only song you know, Snarky highly recommends this! There won't be any body slamming or sweaty zeitgeist communion, but there will be a definite bond of geekitude, nostalgia, and just "ain't it cool" gee-whizzedness.   And now Snarky has this song stuck in her head:   "One of Our Submarines"   One of our submarines is missing tonight Seems she ran aground on manoeuvres One of our submarines A hungry heart To regulate their breathing One more night the Winter Boys are freezing in their spam time The Baltic moon Along the northern seaboard And down below The Winter Boys are waiting for the storm Bye-bye empire, empire bye-bye Shallow water - channel and tide And I can trace my history Down one generation to my home In one of our submarines One of our submarines The red light flicker, sonar weak Air valves hissing open Half her pressure blown away Flounder in the ocean See the Winter Boys Drinking heavy water from a stone Bye-bye empire, empire bye-bye Shallow water - channel and tide Bye-bye empire, empire bye-bye Tired illusion drown in the night And I can trace my history Down one generation to my home In one of our submarines One of our submarines One of our submarines One of our submarines is missing tonight Seems she ran aground on manoeuveres One of our submarines   Today Snarky's wearing what's left of her Tombstone/Sweet Cove SN combo from last night and the zesty fragrance of Pangea Organics Chilean red clover with geranium & grapefruit lotion (she got a free sample).

darkitysnark

darkitysnark

 

I've succumbed to temptation...

and ordered some more imps from a forum member! I'm hoping they don't take too long to get to me, so that I'll have something to discuss on here "for real", soon. Here is what I am getting:   belladonna delirium juliet la belle au bois dormant lolita undertow   and the bonus of "embalming fluid", which I asked about and she had! Thanks for the suggestion!   Of course Katie just pointed out to me that I already ordered Juliet. *sigh* I'm just such a ditz... I'm lucky it was only 1 repeat! It is just insane that with the zillions of flavours, I still managed to repeat one. I have the cool spreadsheet, but no Excel at home! And, honestly, I swore I even double checked. LOL.   I also decided to make some icons for what I have ordered (didn't finish yet), but I'm not sure anyone liked them :-X I posted them, and everyone sort of ignored it. Oops. I guess I suck! LOL. Here is what I made so far:       If you happen to like them, feel free to use them! No need to credit... but please save them to your own computer (no hotlinking). Yay!

eviltemptressdq

eviltemptressdq

 

Hey! Watch it! *shakes fist*

One guy from work flew into town tonight for a meeting tomorrow, and DH and I were going to take him to dinner. We're driving to his hotel and almost got run off the road!   Why is it instinct with some people that when there are 2 lanes going in one direction with no turn bays, and someone's stopped to try to make a left turn, the person behind them simply veers into the right lane? It's like the tradeoff between waiting behind someone and causing an accident is a toss-up. So we're in the right lane and luckily DH swerved in time, was able to hop the curb, not hit the electric pole and pull into a Brothers Chicken parking lot. The other car slowed down, some guy in the passenger seat half-assed waved to us, like "sorry you almost wrecked your car," then pulled away.   DH was so mad, and we didn't even know if our car was damaged at that point, that he took off running down the street waving after the car. I in the meantime was writing down the license number, but after I hopped out of the car I checked the front and everything looked fine. One guy came out of the restaurant making sure the car wasn't hit. He saw DH take off down the street and said, "Damn! He's mad!" Hee!   Anyway, I didn't want to go on about bad drivers. We had a great dinner and I pick him up first thing tomorrow to go to the meeting. So tomorrow will be a beating, then it's the weekend! *boogies in my chair* And my rash went away, so I'm trying to wear my BPAL smellies without being all itchy! I'm wearing Pink Phoenix and I smell goooood.

dawndie

dawndie

 

Hey Jack Kerouac

The domme of this blog spends way too much time trying to figure out why certain things happen. Way, way too much time, but she thinks she can somehow divine the workings of the universe. What bullshit! Sometimes it's very liberating to say "I don't know," and when one of the last living members of the Beat Generation and Zen wise man Gary Snyder tells you so, you might as well listen. Here's his quote:   "I must confess that I don't have the faintest idea what my purpose is or what's going on. I became comfortable with that mystery a long time ago -- that I would never know how any of these things fit together in any explicit way."   Yuppers, ya just have to roll with it sometimes. Actually, all of the time would be a good idea, but if I can do it just some of the time, I'm doing real well. And speaking of the Beats, was Jack Kerouac a babe or what?

valentina

valentina

 

I hate hot weather

So it's already been pretty consistently in the 70s here and I guess I have to say goodbye to my favourite spicy/heavy BPALs until the cooler weather comes back. I've been trying out a bunch of new aquatics lately--today I'm wearing Sea of Glass. I have to say, many of them smell pretty similar. I guess I should sniff them side by side so I can make better comparisons. I like them all about equally so far (with the exceptions of Numb and Storm Moon, neither of which did much for me) but I'm trying to find one that I LOVE. I've got Hurricane and Undertow on the way with my next order, so we'll see how those check out!

Alannah

Alannah

 

Aural Fixation

Darkity never really got in to music. Even as a fledgling hedonist, she has managed to neglect that one of her five or six senses, hearing.   She listened to talk radio when her contemporaries were tuning in to the 80's oblivious bubblegum pop and/or nihilistic (yet also oddly poppy) electronic underbelly. She did manage to catch a bit of that hair metal infection like everybody else, though.   Then she met The Mister, who as an opening salvo to their courtship, compiled six mixed tapes to express his past, present, and possible future. He has been instrumental (har-dee-har-har) in opening up her ears to the world of sound.   Still, even with his admittedly diverse tastes, she finds herself floating passively along in the wake of whatever catches his interest and can't help but feel... a bit lost and sort of back where she started, musically.   Tonight the Snarks are going to see Thomas Dolby perform. Besides his one song she can think of ("Sah-sah-SCIENCE!") she couldn't remember anything else by him. After The Mister's hilarious recreation of "Europa" she's still stumped. They have one album (probably a best of) that she will cram with before heading out tonight.   Later in the month they will also see Sigur Ros (whom they have seen before, to great effect) and The Editors. Darkity suspects that the audiences will get progressively younger at each concert.   The Snarks are now in a city known for its diverse and rather indy music scene. The pace of trends here (in fashion/lifestyle/food as well as music) is breakneck, yet oddly retro. Darkity wonders if she'll ever get the hang of this.

darkitysnark

darkitysnark

 

Twilight Alchemy Lab

How the heck did I miss Determination from the last update?   Hmm...   Anyway, my tentative wish list goes something like:   1. Blessing of Isis 2. Anthelion 3. Blockbuster 4. Hymn to Pan 5. Lionheart 6. Mantle of Venus 7. Road Opener (for my boyfriend) 8. Foundation of Fortune 9. Haitian Gambler 10. King Solomon's 11. Lady Luck 12 Perpetuum Bonum 13. Snake Eyes 14. Aegis 15. Determination 16. Energy   Himm...that's what...$400 worth of oils? Ahem...might need to pare that down a bit.

Macha

Macha

 

ANGST

Here's the rundown of everything that's been going wrong in my life of late. I'll do a more positive one soon.   -I got violently ill during finals week last quarter. -I was violently ill the first week of spring break. -I was PMS'ing, too. -Surprise visit from my beloved cousin left little time for rest during the second week of spring break. -Ugliness and misfortune from friend in previous entry. -School starts. Yoga-ow. Math-ow. Archaeology-YAY. English-.... -Things resolve with friend, who gets kicked out of his apartment due to not paying rent. (This is a long story.) Instead of doing homework, I help him get moved. -S.O. gets sick. -Mom may have whooping cough. If she does, I will have to be tested for it as well. -If mom has whooping cough, she will go straight to the hospital. Scariness. -I get sick. I miss 3 of the first 8 days of classes. Catching up in math is going to be a bitch. -Friend gets moved in here. -English instructor is extremely condescending to me. It makes me sad. -At the urging of my S.O., I realize that I can't take archaeology. This is heartbreaking news. -A favourite uncle who has been really sick for a while now goes into renal failure and is on his deathbed. -Favourite uncle consequently dies. -I miss the funeral because it is out of town, and I've already missed too much school. -The death brings up a lot of past issues. -I'm still sick but attending school. My voice is mostly gone and I feel like shit, but I'm probably not contagious. -I tell my archaeology instructor in person that I'm dropping his class, and when he gets concerned, I damn near cry, because his class is the only one I enjoy. This causes more concern from him. Luckily (for me) he has a class and can't stay, but reassures me that I'm not giving up and I have to do what's best for me and all the nice things people say. -I cry. (In my car) -I cry some more. (At home) -For whatever reason, math just isn't sticking with me. I suck. I fail the first quiz. -My first english essay is late. -I cry some more. (In my car and at home) -I don't have wedding invitations yet. This is not good. -.... to be continued.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

New TALs

I started a huge work rant, then deleted it all. Work today went fine, a lot better than I feared -- I'm not blamed for the vendor flake-out, I'm already making arrangements with the runner-up, they seem pleased that we're back, and I'm glad I didn't burn any bridges.   Beth posted a whole bunch of new TAL oils, and I'm really intrigued. I should read the forum section, but I'm under the impression that people wear TALs as oil, or anoint a candle. I'm very interested in Milk & Honey, as it seems to speak to my goals -- I'm not looking for a financial windfall, but I like enjoying what we have and hope it continues. The description is, "A subtle love and money combination blend. Tends to invoke the luxurious, pleasurable aspects of romance and prosperity." I really like the image that creates.   How would you use some of the Temple blends? I'm guessing that if you have certain favorite deities, like Egyptian, you would use that oil. I need to do some more research.

dawndie

dawndie

 

Girl stuff. whiny panties.

I'm PMS-ing. I have had a couple of little smudges in my panties today, but it really hasn't gotten started yet.   I have a seriously bitchy headache. My skull feels brittle. I feel like the right side of my brain is swolen. I tried to study for a couple of hours then gave up. I'm drinking strawberry chocolate iced tea and waiting for the advil to kick in.   This is my first summer using cloth pads, and I was a little afraid it would be hot to have flannel in my panties. I am pleasantly surprised. Yeah they're a little warm, but not *nearly* as hot as disposables. Also, forgive the TMI, but I am somewhat prone to getting a sweaty crotch... since the wings that wrap around are absorbant flannel as well, I don't get clammy around my upper thighs.   Rusty is out at the Drinking Liberally social tonight. Honestly, I'm kinda glad he's out of the house. I like the alone time. I'm feeling cranky and antisocial.   To feed my antisocialness, I'm watching Top Chef. Mmm. Snarky.

antimony

antimony

 

Let's talk about jobs

I've always been something of a late bloomer. I didn't get my period until I was 14. Didn't go on my first date until age 16, didn't lose my virginity until age 17.   So I guess it only follows that my career path wouldn't be as rapid as that of many of my peers. I was supposed to graduate college in 1990. A friend of mine did, and she was offered a job at Arthur Andersen paying $28K a year (back then, that was very good money for an entry-level salary). She eventually moved into the six-digit range and now doesn't even have to work at all -- her husband, who does the same kind of work as she, makes enough money to support them both.   I, on the other hand, hit a few stumbling blocks on the road to yuppie success. I dropped out of college in 1988, worked several dead-end jobs (I still break out in hives at the word "retail"), returned to college in 1992, and finally graduated in 1995 with a B.A. in English literature (useful degree, that!). By 1997 I was finally employed in an entry-level job in my chosen field. I was 29.   Most of the people my age -- and a large percentage of those younger than I --seem to have achieved their career goals and are enjoying a comfortable lifestyle and income. I'm not even sure what my career goal is anymore. In some ways, I've achieved it. I work as a newspaper editor. I come to work around 10 a.m., surf the Net, read the paper, read and correct stuff that other people have written, assign stories and photos, tell the copy desk what stories and files to run on the next day's pages, then I head home around 6 p.m. I do this three days a week, and I get paid for 30 hours. It's not a bad job, and it's much more enjoyable than any other job I've had.   Here's the downside. I don't make a lot of money, and I'm not sure where to go from here. I enjoy having time to spend with my kids, but being part-time is probably going to keep me on the "mommy track" and slow any advancements I might make. The next job up from mine is one that I'm not sure I would even like. I'd have to work 60+ hours a week, no overtime, and the stress level is high.   If you're reading this, I'd love to hear from you. What kind of work do you do? Is it what you want to be doing? Did you follow a traditional or non-traditional career path? What do you hope to be doing in five or 10 years?

parrot_suspect

parrot_suspect

 

Love your feet

Wow, I have a friend (a man) who fell off of someone else's deck (which was only a couple of inches high) and freakishly managed to detach his quadricep (the big muscle that runs down the front of the thigh) from where it attaches around the knee, taking a few tendons with it when it blew.   After I finished wincing and groaning around about the huge amount of hurt that has to be, I realized that I wear stilettos much higher than the deck from which he fell. But he's a guy and I'd wager his joints were pretty tight and wouldn't tolerate the twist.   I rationalize high girl heels by not walking very much in them -- no Carrie Bradshaw-like trotting down the street in them. It's hard on the shoes and it's hard on the feet. That's where I found "Sex And The City" to be the ultimate fantasy; no self-respecting Manolo lover would walk that far on asphalt, because it rips the hell out of them. And there was never, ever, one scene of Carrie soaking her aching tooties after a day of cavorting around in her spikers after Mr. Big or Aidan or whatever man du jour she had her sights set upon. If I'm wrong about that, please comment and let me know. There was a show when Big had angioplasty, but never one where Carrie had bunions removed.   I love girl shoes as much as anyone, and if I ever get a pair of Manolos (or Jimmy Choos), I will post a photo of me wearing them on this blog. (My guess is that I would obtain a used pair on eBay, but you never know when the fairy godmother will appear. Hey, a girl can hope.)   But in the meantime, BPAL is so much more affordable and versatile. You can walk on the asphalt in Chuck Taylor high-tops and still smell like a princess. That's a good trade-off.

valentina

valentina

 

My first ever Paypal phish...grrrrr...

Wearing: Peony Moon, Osun, Saturn and a bit of Mandrake.   I got my first ever Paypal phishing email today. One of those 'you need to update your details or your account will be suspended!!!' ones. Stupidly, I accidentally clicked the link, but as soon as I saw the link wasn't legit Paypal, I closed the window quick as lightning before it even loaded. Then I reported the fucker to Paypal. Changed my password. I hope such people get what they deserve.   Phishers deserve to get their balls pecked out by vultures.

PurringPulsar

PurringPulsar

 

Writing Frustrations

I can hardly go into a bookstore these days. It's too heartbreaking; a reminder of things I have not finished.   In this case, I haven't just not-finished one book — I haven't finished TWO.   Ah, isn't it nice to be self-indulgent and whiny?   Seriously though...I really need to shake these birds lose. Both books are dear to my heart, and both were begun almost a decade ago, when my ex-husband and I wanted to do something to 'bond' together and thought 'hey, we could always write a novel...'   Both novels were written, and both novels were even finished — and both novels were absolute, unmitigated crap. Plot holes so big they could have been used as fallout shelters, themes and characters that were borrowed from RPGs (orcs, elves, etc.) for no other reason than because we'd always played RPGs: the best thing I could say about those books is that they were, for the most part, well-paced.   So after the divorce, intellectual property copyrights in hand — I decided to re-write them. And that's where I've been ever since — rewriting. A whole lot of world-building, and a whole lot of self-editing, of "this isn't good enough." Now I'm stuck in both books, in almost the same place, with solid first halfs and good endings, but a little fuzzy on the last third.   Guess it's time to break out the the notes and go back over things. I'm going to finish these, damnit.   Wearing today: Obatala (creamy, milky goodness)

Macha

Macha

 

To try or buy.

Bottles to acquire Shrunken Heads Diable-en-Boîte Aperotos Eros -- or Ekhidna? The Chicken-Legged Hut? Azathoth (have Miaiphonos) Mary Read Rumpelstilzchen (have Hell-Gate of Ireland) Yorick (have Badger) The Malignant Dreams of Cthulhu in Love Ü Graveyard Dirt (will always take more)   Imps, or to-try GC The Coil Cthulhu De Sade Drink Me Eclipse Envy Ephemera Fire of Love Gomorrah Incantation Intrigue Kumiho Lear The Mock-Turtle's Lessons Moscow Nefertiti Night-Gaunt Pannychis Phantom Prurience To a Woman Troll Yggdrasil (aged)   Carnaval: Hand of Glory (aged) The Blood Garden   Salon: Two Monsters Orpheus Bat-Woman The Death of Sardanapal The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun Three Gorgons The Smiling Spider La Mort Qui Danse   LE: Glukoprikos Melainis Whirling Wind Moon Gold Phoenix Countess Willie Crib Girls VT: The Fool VT: The Magician

septima_pica

septima_pica

 

Highs and lows

The last hour of work, from 4:30 to 5:30, ran the gamut of emotion.   Low: this huge project I've been working on for over 6 months has blown up in my face. The vendor that we selected and that I've been emailing and sending stuff and basically being on-call and totally available to them, called and said due to a backlog of projects they're very behind and guess what? Since we're obviously not as important as other clients, we were selected to be put on the back-burner and instead of completing in May it'll be November. Oh, and they technically haven't "started" anything -- they've asked me for everything under the sun, but that's been it on their end.   I've rarely heard my boss curse like that -- not at me, at them, but I feel like crawling into a hole. I'm so frustrated and embarrassed, I could burst into screaming tears right now thinking about it. I'm trying to console myself, that we haven't paid them anything yet and if Boss Lady says "screw them" we will go to the second vendor and start all over with them, not a huge deal. This is how business works. But I really felt like things were going OK and to be blindsided like this means I don't know shit.   ANYWAY.   High: my forum raffle prize arrived today! I won a decant set of Single Notes: Blue Lilac, Carnation, Coffee Bean, Freesia, Light Myrrh, Sweet Pea, Tomato Leaf and White Rose. According to the Reviews section, Tomato Leaf and White Rose were unreleased. I've never sniffed a SN -- they were discontinued in October 2004, about a week after I placed my first order. I don't think I have a sophisticated nose at all, so it's been interesting to sniff these "pure" notes and see how they translate into the blends.   Unfortunately I've had crazy skin allergies and haven't been able to wear anything in a week. The Masque gave me an ugly rash on the top of my hands & wrists -- I apply there because I've had breakouts in the past and the skin is thicker on the top than the bottom. So it's been boring and stinky Benadryl cream instead of my nice smellies. Last night, since the rash was disappating (not itchy, but still lots of red bumps) I put on Black Phoenix on the bottoms of my wrists, and this morning woke up to a rash there! Not itchy, but definite red bumps. Grrr.   So eventually I want to test and post reviews. They smell amazing in the imps, and I can see how they have such a rabid following. It would be great if LE bottles could be released of some of these.

dawndie

dawndie

 

It's like a bad dream that never ends

I'm not much of a blog/LJ type of person. Never have been. It always seemed so narcissistic and (dare I say it?) juvenile -- the notion that anyone would be interested in the little details of my life, my thoughts, my complaints, what have you.   But there's something different about this community. It has an open, welcoming vibe I haven't found elsewhere. And I admit to being somewhat of a voyeur -- I enjoy reading other people's blogs and getting a peek into their personalities and lives. I'm interested in what makes other people tick. So, why not start a blog of my own, even if I'm the only one who will ever read it?   Right now I'm struggling with a few issues. The first and foremost, all-encompassing thing in my life is my mother's death. I can't seem to stop thinking about it and I don't know if I'll ever get over it. She died April 7. She died that day because it was the day I chose for her to die. I'm an only child and my parents are divorced -- she was in the hospital, being kept alive by a machine, and I alone issued the order to pull the plug. More on that cheerful topic later.   The other thought running through my head is this. When did I become an old has-been? My mother-in-law came to town this week to help out, provide moral support in the aftermath of my bereavement, and along with that offered to watch the kids Friday night so DH and I could go out for dinner. We had a nice meal at P.F. Chang's, then I felt an urge to go to a bar. Ten years ago (I'm 38 now), my social life seemed to center around bars. Meeting friends for drinks, seeing bands play, etc. Life was sort of fun and carefree. But somewhere along the line, that all changed. We walked through the door and instantly I could tell -- everything was different. DH and I were surrounded by twentysomethings who were laughing, drinking, flirting, dancing, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. That's just not my life anymore. I wish it were, because it was fun while it lasted. I wish I could be young again. The whole experience had a depressing "This WAS your life" quality, and after two quick beers, we were out of there.   Maybe what it is, is that I'm just afraid of growing old and dying. Like my mother.

parrot_suspect

parrot_suspect

 

My take on happiness

inkdark moon wrote:   I was going to comment in response, but then my comment turned into a novel, and I decided to re-think my response and write it up here instead.   I can say with absolute certainty that I am happy with my life now.   I mean, in a moment-to-moment sense, I am frustrated with the exam process I have to complete for my career, and I'm busy and tired, but in an overall sense,. I'm happy.   But, the thing is, it's the things that are causing all of that busy-ness that make me happy. I have, by grace or luck, stumbled into a career that I enjoy. And the whole exam thing means that every day, when I get up, I know I will spend anywhere from 4 to 8 hours that day, studying, learning new things and intellectually challenging myself. And studying it all on my own makes it way more rewarding than college ever was.   The biggest misery in my life is to be bored. I hate it. Everything around me can be falling to pieces, but If I am setting goals and occationally achieving them, I'm happy. If I'm learning new things, and having to stretch my brain to do it, I'm happy.   So I guess what I'm saying is that my own happiness is both an internal thing *and* the result of my interacting with the world. My happiness comes from knowing I can rise to a challenge. My goals and my challenges are different from everyone elses, and the things that are important to me aren't important to others... But I have found the things that I am passionate about, and the *path* I am taking to get there makes me happy. I've succeeded in the realm of my career to find a job that challenges me intelectually.   And I have been lucky in my love life to find a guy who loves me so much, he gently holds me to my *own* standards instead of his. Seriously, that's love. He wants me to meet my own goals and grow in the direction I chose. It's a daily struggle for me, but I try to do the same for him.   As for why there are so many depressed people... I think the modern world, for all of the supposed choices we have in every part of our lives, is actually very disempowering. We are all constantly overstimulated with exhausting trivia, and by the time we start looking inwards at what we want and need, we're too tired, and our heads are too full of marketing and other people's opinions.   I'm not saying I'm above it. I'm there just as much as anyone, asking myself, "Is this what I want? What my parents want? What my friends think is best for me? What is "socially acceptable"? What I have been conditioned to believe someone of my social/financial/whatever station should do?"   I think one lucky thing that happened to me was studying TaeKwon Do as a teenager. Right in the middle of those very formative years, I had a chance to learn a little about setting and achieving goals as I moved up the ranks. As I advanced, I was given more and more responsability, and, cliched as it sounds, I really did learn the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. I learned how good it felt to push myself so far beyond the limits I thought I had.   I know I have more thoughts on the subject, but I'll leave it here for now.

antimony

antimony

×