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Failmingo

Lab Staff
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    341
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

Location

  • Location
    New York City
  • Country
    United States

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

Contact Methods

  • Twitter
    tomblunt

Astrology

  • Chinese Zodiac Sign
    Ram
  • Western Zodiac Sign
    Aries

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  1. ALERT: I have been informed that the pre-orders for our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts will end tomorrow. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/sprouting-grass-moon-tee/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/milk-moon-2020-tee/
  2. Releasing our monthly Lunacy perfumes is still our favorite way to mark the passage of time! This month we have a Full Milk Moon swirling around somewhere over our heads — be sure to take a big sip if you see her tonight. Without further ado: 🥛 MILK MOON "A fertile scent, generous, life-affirming, and swelling with a sense of triumph, warmth, and abundance: sweet milk, golden honey, fig fruit, cedarwood, olive leaf, and dates." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/milk-moon-2020-perfume-oil/ ***Note that our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts are both available for pre-order. Design by Dan Santat!*** https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/apparel/t-shirts/ ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS 🥉WHITE SANDALWOOD, SAGE & BOURBON VANILLA 🥉GARDENIA, TOBACCO LEAF & OAKMOSS 🥉COCONUT, SMOKED VANILLA & FIG 🥉DARJEELING TEA, COCOA DUST & INCENSE 🥉FRANKINCENSE, STAR ANISE & LABDANUM https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ And from Twilight Alchemy Lab: ⚗️ WHITE ROSE An oil of peace, harmony, and reconciliation – a ceasefire, an oil of amity, a blend that restores harmony and nullifies household discord. We’re all in this together – and in many cases, really REALLY together – and this oil was crafted to help make that stay-at-home-in-your-face togetherness as peaceful and sweet as possible "Three types of rose essential oil, rose petals from the TAL garden, borage, motherwort, passion flower, lavender, sumac berries, coriander, and magnolia blossoms." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/twilight-alchemy-lab/white-rose-perfume-oil/
  3. It's time to ride! 🧹 The infamous HEXENNACHT (Witches' Night) of antiquity summons kindred spirits out of the shadows to take the biggest, juiciest bite out of springtime every year on April 30th. We've marked the occasion with a recurrence of our limited edition perfume blend. (Our video announcement below is convenient for sharing if you want to help us get the word out!) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/hexennacht-2020-perfume-oil/ "German fir and forest herbs, incense and bonfire smoke, broom straw, and the wet, glimmering scent of skin warmed by dance." But she didn't come alone! Accompanying this year's HEXENNACHT release is a small collection of nine brand new perfumes drawing from the same traditions, honoring the power of the oppressed to overthrow their oppressors through wit and guile: DIE ERSTE WALPURGISNACHT https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/die-erste-walpurgisnacht/ Remember, high-fliers: keep those broomsticks at least 6 feet apart! 🧹 🧹 🧹
  4. Failmingo

    Totality

    I was a little afraid of this scent! Afraid because of what it embodies, and also afraid that I wouldn't like it, because I couldn't really imagine what it would smell like from the description. I was afraid of falling too hard for TOTALITY from a distance, and then discovering that it just wouldn't work between us in person. And then with all the Lunacies canceled, and not being allowed to come into the Lab to work, I didn't end up having a chance to try it, so TOTALITY ended up fading from my list of potential partners altogether. But then! Ted dropped off a whole box of all the partnership collaboration blends so we could photograph and review them during the lockdown. TOTALITY appeared on my actual doorstep, as if by magic! And then it was like I NEEDED to love it, which made me even more scared to smell it. But now I haven't smelled of anything else for at least five days. In the bottle: No joke about that abyss. Often there are crags and snarls and spikes that kind of break your fall a bit as you descend into one of these scents, but not here. The smoothness of the glide is part of the terror. Because, how deep does it go? The patchouli and frankincense don't claw at you or hold you back, they just grease the rails taking you down. Kind of at the last second, right when you think it might be going sweet, a scrud of smoke wafts up out of it... but no fire! It reminds me of the black hole effects in the film INTERSTELLAR. At first I thought I was detecting a leather note, like in SNAKE'S KISS (smelled side by side to confirm), or paper, like in bloodmilk's BOOKS, but I believe it's just the place where the pitch hits the fig and tangy tobacco. But if quizzed blind, I definitely would have guessed there was leather here! So overall, in the bottle, the scent's character lives in a kind of indefinable nether-region. I love the text references to fossils, because there is something distinctly protean and inhuman about this scent experience. It's undeniably sensual but not exactly mammalian or even terribly organic at first, if you know what I mean. I'm thinking of tar pits, maybe. Wet on the skin: The notes immediately seem to warm up upon contact with the skin. Here's where that amber starts to glow, and maybe there's something a bit mentholated from the pitch, and the tobacco becomes more identifiable, actually reminding me of fresh cigars. So yes, more glimmerings of organic life, but there's still something very "Before The Dawn of Civilization" about the whole thing. This is the phase where I began to get very addicted to this scent. It's just so mysterious and brooding, and lures you into those murky depths by teasing with half-obscured answers. I asked Galen what he thinks the dominant notes in this blend are, just from smelling it, and he said fig, amber, and tobacco. He can track the patchouli in it, but I really can't. It definitely reminds me a bit of GOMORRAH, an old love of mine, but TOTALITY is bolder, darker, smokier. It seems like the throw would be pretty robust. Hard to tell in quarantine! Dry: More of the heady fumes related to the pitch and tobacco, warmed by the amber. You can't really lean into the sweetness without getting pushed back by something else, it's mesmerizing. I look forward to this "glowing nimbus" when I'm first putting it on, it's a mysterious vapor lifts you out of that abyss... but never all the back way into the light. TOTALITY-dwellers are creatures of no world!
  5. Since we're sheltering in place for a while longer, why not kick off another poetry contest? The theme for our new one is TOTALITY, which is the latest scent we created just for Haute Macabre: “The splendor and terror of Totality: an abyss of black patchouli, tabac, burgundy pitch, smoky frankincense, and black fig surrounded by a glowing nimbus of fossilized amber.” You've got until May 15th! Multiple submissions are allowed. Full details, including rules and regulations, can be found here: https://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/bpal-x-haute-macabre-totality-poetry-contest-rules-regulations/ In the meantime, you'll find the TOTALITY products freshly relisted in the Haute Macabre apothecary https://haute-macabre.myshopify.com/collections/apothecary
  6. Releasing a batch of monthly Lunacy perfumes makes us feel almost... NORMAL again! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/april-2020/ Included therein is SPROUTING GRASS MOON, which should help bring some of the outdoors inside: "Patches of bright green grass bursting through the last snows of winter." Label/tee shirt design by Dan Santat! [Due to current circumstances, we are unable to print tees at this time. Please join the waitlist, and we’ll let you know as soon as we can go into production on the Sprouting Grass Moon tee. Thank you so much for understanding!] Also, invitations to the following Ménages à Trois: 🥉BLUEBERRIES, CREAM & CARDAMOM 🥉 LAVENDER, SEA SALT & RAIN 🥉 GRAPEFRUIT, YUZU & WHITE MUSK 🥉 COTTON CANDY, STRAWBERRIES & LIME ZEST 🥉 CARAMEL, SMOKED CHILIS & BLACK VANILLA And a special Twilight Alchemy Lab blend for gardeners, farmers, homesteaders, horticulturalists, and all people who shepherd and care for the Earth. We proudly present you with GAIA'S BLESSING! "Patchouli root, spikenard, burgundy pitch, barley, oakmoss, rice, purple sage, white sage, and clary sage, vervain, ivy, and myrrh."
  7. The LOVEBIRDS Poetry Contest results are long overdue, but here they are at last! (Here's the link to a PDF containing all of these standout entries.) The grand prize winner, Crystalyn Kuhlmeyer ("a year in the life of birds") will receive both Lovebirds perfume blends plus 3 Lupercalia products of her choice. Congratulations! The three runners-up, presented here in no particular order, each win a mated set of LOVEBIRDS perfumes! We trust you will give them a good home. Those winners are: Scarlett St. James - "A Lovebird's Lives" Jill Baguchinsky - "Wing in Wing" Euna Bonovich - "In Love & After" Because this was SO DIFFICULT, we have named a handful of Honorable Mentions. Surprise! Each of you will receive one bottle of the Lovebird perfume of your choice. Those names: Hanna Hertzler - "Theatrebirds" Jacqueline Wright - "The Pink and the Green" Michelle Cast - "Lovebirds" Cathy Podd - "Rapture" We could have picked an entirely different set of entries to spotlight, without any detectable decline in quality. Such is the bind you have put us in! Especially since we are not qualified to “judge” your work in any significant way. Know that you have taken us on the wildest of emotional rides with your poems, and please PLEASE submit again when we launch our next poetry contest... which will be soon!
  8. One more thing! All those Lunacy cancellations meant that no one got to preview the SPRING 2020 scents, so we've posted a vidya with some nosey first impressions. Part 2 coming on Monday! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/dum-spiro-spero-spring-2020/
  9. Hi everyone! We are LAAAATE on announcing the winners for this contest. It's because we'd asked for input from a couple of poets, and suddenly everyone's workflow got bit silly due to the global pandemic, including ours. We're going to announce the poetry contest winners on MONDAY. But before we do, I wanted to spice up your weekend with access to the full catalog of entries. The PDF can be viewed and/or downloaded here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/mwbib66ljkoi7zl/LOVEBIRDS Poetry.pdf?dl=0 As far as I can tell, 100% of the entries are in this document. If we have skipped any, please let me know and I'll chase them down! We have tried to reproduce the text exactly as it was submitted, but slight shifts in formatting may have occurred in the transfer from email. I will always be grateful that I had these to read during the first early stages of the pandemic, when so much was uncertain. Something about wading so deeply into work revolving around the theme of love -- and inspired by these ridiculous, endearing perfumes -- really warmed my heart. If there are any problems with this PDF or the work contained therein, please contact me directly: tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com Until Monday!
  10. Failmingo

    New Videos: 15 MINUTES OF 'FUME

    Hi everybody! While Beth and Brian and Ted are producing 'fumes and packing orders like crazy, Galen and I are working remotely and making sure to show our faces a bit... so that you can see human faces! We've kicked off a series of silly little videos in which we're just working through our BPAL collections and smellin' stuff. Two so far, both linked below! Hang in there, everyone. xoxoxo
  11. Everything Must ̶G̶o̶ STAY! Due to the rippling of global infrastructure, the Lab will not be taking down our YULE and LUPERCALIA fragrance collections on the previously announced dates. They'll remain on our site for the foreseeable future, as long as we still have stock! 🎁 YULE 🎁 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2019/ 🌺 LUPERCALIA 2020 🌺 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2020/ 🌸 SHUNGAS 2020 🌸 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-shunga-2020/
  12. Hello, fellow renunciates! A handful of announcements for ye. Firstly, the Lab is still very much operational, and capable of fulfilling orders. For now! Obviously, however, we have no control over what happens with those orders once they're in the hands of the post. So shipping MAY end up being way slower than usual? We can't really be sure yet. We're all learning together! Here's your reminder that if you currently have an order pending, you can combine it with a new order to save on shipping! Just email the info to answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com and let us know. Now without further ado, here's a little collection of perfumes we'd intended to herald the arrival of spring... which has taken on an altogether new meaning, given the current state of things! Art can be slippery like that. Note that one of these blends is a fundraiser for the Los Angeles Food Bank, because we know these resources are among the hardest hit right now. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/dum-spiro-spero-spring-2020/ Thank you for all of the support and consideration during these dark days, we shall strive to entertain and comfort you in return!
  13. Failmingo

    LOVEBIRDS Poems on YouTube

    We were planning on sharing some of these LOVEBIRDS poetry contest entries at our Lunacy event this weekend, but... well, you know. So, now you can head over to the Lab’s YouTube channel to hear my dorky self and actual poetry personage Tina Hyland read about twenty of the SEVENTY-ONE entries! That's right, we're your crazy friends who read poetry to you during a global pandemic. Enjoy!
  14. Failmingo

    New SOAPS Tomorrow Morning!

    You know what the world needs right now? SOAP! And we’ve got the good stuff, thanks to our collaboration with the uniquely talented Brooke Perry of https://www.bperrystudios.com/ Tomorrow at 9am Pacific we’ll release limited quantities of these four exquisite, handmade creations on our site. That’s 20 seconds of fragrant bliss every time you scrub the cooties away! (Which you should be doing o f t e n .) Here's where you can get 'em: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/bath/soaps/
  15. Failmingo

    Self-Isolating? BPAL on Spotify

    Hello, sad frens! As you may have seen elsewhere, we've created a Spotify station with playlists to help people chillax while self-isolating. We're adding more throughout the weekend! Just passing this along in hopes that it will make you day less dreary: https://open.spotify.com/user/3cvl9y7x5kcentefrvshyduwd?si=fVX3-FKATi6aD91ykVAZkQ
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