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About Failmingo
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Rank
sexy swapper
- Birthday 04/07/1979
Location
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Location
Los Angeles
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Country
United States
Profile Information
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Pronouns
Other (will add in profile)
BPAL
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Favorite Scents
The Great He-GoatBaron SamediKnucklebonesThe Knave of HeartsBlack ForestLeopold Freiherr Von TsemekwesThe Hierophant and The Empress
Astrology
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Astrological Info
0
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Chinese Zodiac Sign
Ram
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Western Zodiac Sign
Aries
Recent Profile Visitors
18,510 profile views
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Hello to those of you up North whose orders have been affected by the Post Strike! The team asked me to inform those of you whose packages had not already shipped to say: for the time being we're holding onto all orders to Canada, and stashing them safely in the Lab until the strike is over. That includes any new orders that come in! So you may order with confidence in the meantime, knowing your items will be set aside for you until the coast is clear. Those with concerns about specific orders have most likely already reached out to Ted. We figured we should post an announcement to put anyone else's mind at ease.
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Hello friends! We usually wait until the week of Thanksgiving to inform everyone about the Black Friday gifties that will get added to each purchase during that entire mad shopping weekend (Friday thru Monday). But what if we decided to blab about them a little earlier... in exchange for a modest community request? Kinda simple really. We're going to be sharing a lot of stuff online next week -- about the Frimps, about some especially gift-able items, and about our recent collections. But every other business out there is doing the same thing! It can be hard to break through the noise. So our humble request is that you help extend our reach by sharing our posts next week and spreading the word about BPAL, in whatever way you can. We try to put lots of lovely, entertaining stuff on Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, Bluesky, and YouTube with the hopes that it will be not just enjoyed, but circulated. And we always appreciate it when that happens! ❤️ That's it, that's our entire request. We might seem big to some, but we're still just a small biz trying to get our message out there... and we're very grateful for the help. And now, as promised... ++ BLACK FRIDAY FRIMPS Pie for the sweet, solace for the stressed, and succor for the sorrowful. Into every order over $20 placed on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Filler Whatever Sunday, or Cyber Monday, we’ll dump one 1/32 oz. imp of Hush, one 1/32 oz. imp of Lemon Chiffon Pumpkin Pie, and *two* 1/32 oz. imps of Incolumitas — one to keep and one to share. That's four bonus frimps in total! The horrors of this past November have made the return of our 2019 Black Friday Imp, Incolumitas, a necessity. Incolumitas is a scent of safety and security, of peace of mind and freedom from harm: warm honeyed patchouli, bourbon vanilla, sweet sage, and lavender. Hush is a scent to cool the nerves and help inspire serenity in dark times: lemon myrtle, ylang ylang, tangerine, sandalwood, and lavender. And finally, we’re bottling up some Lemon Chiffon Pumpkin Pie as a reminder that a little silliness, joy, laughter, and sweetness will help sustain us, fortify our spirits, and get us through to the other side.
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Why on earth did it take me so long to fall in love with The Amorous Tree? I love rose and frankincense together, but the bombast can seem a little brash in moments when I'm feeling more... well, amorous. In the bottle this is woody and incense-y, and I understand where folks are getting the pine: there's a freshness here, like a freshly split stick, and maybe a drop of something truly evergreen. I can't tell if it's actually pine, or just the misty element. Only a faint blessing of anything floral. The concentrated scent itself seems to be swooning, like a deep heavy breath of cool air that you hold as long as possible, warming it inside you. On the skin I immediately get a warm, vaporous rose and a more polished wood. A lushly detailed engraving of a tree. The rose and frankincense combo is doing that thing I love, but there's a gauzy filter diffusing it into a magical glow. There's a faint blush of sweetness that I'm tempted to diagnose as strawberry, or some other red fruit. Whatever might have seemed piney here before is now just a cool arboreal breath in the starlight, somewhere in that middle distance between the farmhouse and the woods, the perfect semi-secluded spot for a rendezvous. I wear The Woman At The Edge Of The Woods quite often, which is similar in that way -- bridging the gap between domestic, pastoral, and wilderness. Where that one is more solemn and more rough-hewn, this one seems brighter and more welcoming. But they could seem like they could describe the exact same setting, at different times? Featuring different characters? As this dries, it's settling into a lovely pink rose surrounded by lush greenery. Airy, sweet, vividly (and temporarily) alive. Just enough leaves-and-branches underneath to broadcast the possibility of rot -- thereby enhancing the immediacy of the bloom.
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The full Beaver Moon soared high overhead this weekend — which means a fresh flight of Lunacy scents will be landing soon, sooooooon 🌜🌝🌛 It also means this is your last week to score any of the items from this summer’s Deer Moon launch. We’ll be taking these down on Friday: 🦌 DEER MOON 🦌 BLACKBERRY & WILD LILAC 🦌 CARAMEL & DARK MUSK 🦌 GOLDEN TOBACCO & BEESWAX 🦌 HONEY DUST & OUDH 🦌 SUMMER FIG & WILDFLOWER Hair Gloss Plus these fine art perfume oils: 🎨 MORNING FOLLOWS NIGHT 🎨 WOMAN IN FRONT OF THE SETTING SUN 🎨 FAUN EINER AMSEL ZUPFEIFEND 🎨 AN ANGEL LEADING A SOUL INTO HELL And also, last call for COCONUT TREE 🥥🌴 The new general catalog Hair Gloss blends are here to stay!
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Autumnal tidings to ye! HUNTER'S MOON and its various ridealongs are finally here: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/october-2024-lunacy/ I'll update soon with down dates for everything that's leaving us in the near future.
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This fall we've teamed up with Spiritus Arcanum once again, introducing a new series of perfume oils inspired by historical accounts of witches' familiar spirits. These are available exclusively from their shop, and can also be acquired at their bricks and mortar store outside of Salem. Hurrah! https://spiritusarcanum.com/products/bpal-witchs-familiar-collection WITCH’S TIT Milk. Blood. Transgression. Black venom. ILLEMAUZER Weathered grey stones veined with black moss loom over an ancient library suffused with the scent of weathered leather, aged parchment, and rivulets of flame-scorched beeswax. PYEWACKETT Gleaming red-tinged eyes peering from the shadows. Ink stains and smoke weave tendrils through aged blackened patchouli, rich amber, and infernal musk. PECKE IN THE CROWN Candied plum, champaca blossom, exotic spices, and heady incense smoke swirls with the opulence of Hojari frankincense, evoking the splendor of purple silk adorned with gold embroidery. GRIEZZELL GREEDIGUTT The scent of mysteries sunken deep beneath the surface: the damp richness of bog earth and a gnarl of vetiver root intertwined with ancient lichen, soft oakmoss, and a warm exhale of tonka. VINEGAR TOM Black velvet steeped in tea leaves, infernal cologne, and crimson resins, Vinegar Tom exudes shadowy seduction. The scent evokes honeyed flatteries, secret pacts, and whispered promises slipping from the lips of a finely dressed lothario. Please note: this oil contains honey absolute. SACKE & SUGAR Sweetly diabolical, a mischievous twist on the infernal. Rich butter melts into caramelized sugar, vanilla marshmallow, a delicate touch of cream and milky musk, and the warm, comforting aroma of fresh-baked bread rolls. Please note: this oil contains butter CO2 extract. JARMARA A dangerously dark and intoxicating floral, Jarmara is equal parts menacing and irresistible, teetering on the knife’s edge between seduction and peril. It is equal parts the seductive kiss of a vampire and the lethal poison slipped into a lover’s drink by a black widow. Black orchid and scarlet poppies intertwine with rosehips, orris root, opoponax, tolu balsam, and smoky labdanum.
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Once again, we've provided the Century Guild with a perfume oil to include as a reward for supporting their latest publishing project. Behold: ZODIAC! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centuryguild/zodiac-rare-vintage-1897-mucha-art-nouveau-poster Warm golden spices enveloped in a swirl of deep resinous amber incense and palo santo, sparkling with a celestial bouquet of heliotrope, bergamot, and star jasmine.
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We'll be vending at New York Comic Con from Thursday, October 17 through Sunday, October 20, at booth #3779! 🐀 And just as with our Dragon Con wares, we're going to be make the following event exclusive scents available to shoppers on our website as well, for the duration of the event. And awayyyyy we go: Perfume Oils: $32 Hair Gloss: $36 MEME RAT 2025 will mark ten years of notoriety for this epitome of rodent excellence, whose motivations remain relatable to this day. This perfume oil is our contribution to Pizza Rat’s decennial anniversary: a squeaky black tomato musk. BLACK & WHITE COOKIE Whatever your preferred term for this eye-catching bodega snack, its iconic design undeniably lingers in the backdrop of core New York memories. A simple, jumbo-sized treat, it unifies by transcending differences to mostly taste all like one thing! ++ CIDER PRESS APPLEJACK CIDER A one-two punch from mother Malus pumila: a steaming dipperful of expertly-spiced cider that’s been slapped with a generous splash of aged apple brandy. Remember, if it’s boiled, it’s spoiled! APPLE CIDER DONUTS The secret to this treat is the apple cider reduction infused in the dough. What you dunk it in is up to you! (Please do not dunk your nether bits or any other sensitive body parts into this oil.) MULLED CIDER OUD Take a break from pondering that orb, and mull over this mug! Sweet oud infused with fermented apple, allspice, cinnamon sticks, ginger root, clove, orange slices, and bourbon. HOT BUTTERED APPLE CIDER Sometimes we find it purely impossible to function without the kind of hot drink that leaves an oil slick in the cup. Here’s a crisp apple cider scent for those who can relate, complete with melted buttery swirl. Please note: this oil is vegan. CARAMEL APPLE GINGER ALE FLOAT These five words, in this order, are like a spell that unlocks life-changing autumnal possibilities. So put this fragrance on your dessert mood board: fizzy vanilla ice cream spilling over the rim of a towering, froth-capped glass of ginger ale, drizzled with caramel. ++ CIDER PRESS HAIR GLOSS APPLE CIDER MARSHMALLOWS That’s right, we added squished apples to marshmallows in pursuit of maximum squishiness. Give us the Nobel Prize already! You can squish the resulting concoction directly into your hairs: pillowy marshmallow fluff infused with a cidery sparkle.
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Upon request, and inspired by election signs Beth made for the Barrials' yard, BEHOLD! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/political-buttons-2024/
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Better late than never! HARVEST MOON and friends are live in our shop: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/september-2024-lunacy/ We've also corrected a Halloweenie goof, adding GUTTERING CANDLE to the series of Spooky Single Notes where it belongs: Rivulets of beeswax, a blackened wick, and a shuddering gust of smoke. Thanks so much for your patience, as the fall season has given us so much to work on. More surprises and delights coming soon as we prepare our NYCC virtual con announcement!
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Hello, everyone! A week from today -- Monday, October 14th -- is when we'll be removing the following categories from our shop. Strawberry Moon Lunacy including its attendant Ars Anni scents Surely You Jest Neil Gaiman We announced a month ago that those latter were being retired from production, but remaining stock would still be sold for a time; now those products are going to be removed entirely. The categories affected by this news include: CORALINE AMERICAN GODS GOOD OMENS NEVERWHERE STARDUST THE GRAVEYARD BOOK ONEIROS: A HYMN TO MORPHEUS ANANSI BOYS 15 PAINTED CARDS FROM A VAMPIRE TAROT LIMITED EDITION: LEMON-SCENTED STICKY BAT SCENT LOCKETS: GOLDFISH Thanks very much! TB
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Here’s your official notification that BPAL will indeed be vending at New York Comic Con, October 17-20. That’s exactly how much information we have about it for now. Mark your calendars, we’ll be back with more updates soon!
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Anyone headed to Wasteland Weekend, or know someone who is? This Friday at 4pm you can meet up with Chrissy (aka Stink Bug) at Wasted Saints for the official WW Sniff & Swap! As an additional enticement, you'll be able to slick up your face-hairs by sampling three new Limited Edition beard oils (not for sale): A KINGDOM OF DUST AND DESPAIR The scent of a forsaken land: cracked earth, gasoline seeping into sun-scorched sand. The scent of balsam and leather drifts across desolate dunes glimmering dully with shards of frankincense. VEINS OF OIL LIKE LIFEBLOOD Globs of bubbling tar and rivulets of motor oil oozing through the grooves of rusted scavenged steel. THE SKELETAL REMAINS OF CIVILIZATION A symphony of rust and fire: dust-blazed leather and the jagged concrete and steel teeth of time-blasted ruins, spattered with blood, choked with smoke, and thrumming with the distant drone of engines.
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Hello, we're trying a new thing! Or an old thing, but in a newer, better way. Today we shared our first YouTube scent-sniffin' Livestream in quite a while. https://youtube.com/live/5ytUovnNHBw That's me, Tom! I'm the one doing these, because I'm the one available to do them. Thanks to folks' input following our forays into Instagram streaming, I'm tilting back toward YouTube so it will be easier to skim around and listen to the bits you want. I'm still figuring out the YouTube app, but hopefully as the rest of my Weenie shipment arrives I'll be able to dig in and spend some more time sniffing through the collection. Thank you for helping us grow on these platforms -- and for your kind encouragement during what I can only describe as a series of rolling panic attacks performed entertainingly as part of my job! Like, Comment, Subscribe, send fudge. xoxo
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We have done it... in September... again!!! The Halloween 2024 collection of perfume oil, atmosphere spray, hair gloss, and beard oil is LIVE. There may still be a few web hiccups still which we promise to resolve diligently by cold light of day. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/halloween-2024/ And we've launched a 13 too, for today is that day which was foretold: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-september-2024/ Thanks so much for cheering us on, everyone! We're very happy to share these with you.