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About Failmingo

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    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979


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    New York City
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    United States

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  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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  1. Failmingo

    It's Small Business Saturday!

    We're overjoyed that "Support small businesses!" is such a common refrain in the days after Thanksgiving, and that we end up on so many people's shopping list. We wanna spread the love by sharing this list of all our retail partners, each of whom offers SO MUCH MORE than just our perfume collaborations. And many of them are running their own special deals this weekend! In no particular order: đź’€ Haute Macabre đź’€ Dark Delicacies đź’€ blood milk jewelry đź’€ MĂĽtter Museum of The College of Physicians of Philadelphia đź’€ Century Guild đź’€ Gothic Renaissance đź’€ Sphere + Sundry đź’€ Pretty Indulgent đź’€ Loved To Death đź’€ October đź’€ Ritualcravt Thank you all for helping us build this network of bright, talented, industrious people to pool resources with. We hope you'll keep looking for small biz options throughout the entire gift-giving season!
  2. Bad news, friends: This year the USPS shrunk their window guaranteeing international shipment in time for Christmas, and the new cutoff date they just handed us, December 1st, falls on a Sunday during a holiday weekend. What that means is that we've already effectively PASSED the date when we can ship out International orders in time. We're fuming, but apart from starting our own postal service, there's nothing we can do about it. We're terribly sorry it worked out this way. Please keep that in mind as Yules and other products hit the site. If you want to try and hazard it anyway, we'll be doing our best to get everything out of the Lab and into the postman's hands with the tightest turnaround possible, but... you know the drill. EDITED TO ADD: if you are an international customer and you place an order today or tomorrow, you may be able to get it in time for Christmas provided that you didn't order anything from the Yule update. Orders containing our GC or previous LE's should be able to go out in time, but we cannot guarantee it. In the meantime, please remember that our gift certificates are generated online and sent over email, so you can still give the gift of BPAL literally anywhere in the world. (US friends, don't panic: our domestic shipping cutoff date is DEC 15TH .)
  3. What follows is a BLACK FRIDAY shopping announcement! Firstly, thank you for using your hard-earned dollars to support small businesses. It's no exaggeration to say that for many of us, what happens in the next month will determine the entire year to come. Every order placed on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Whatever Sunday, or Cyborg Monday will be blessed with all three of the following imps — exclusive perfume blends inspired by a famous Latin phrase that we hope will carry you through the season. IN NECESSARIIS UNITAS "In essential things, unity." A perfume to strengthen our bonds to one another for support in trying times: sweet patchouli, oakmoss, red oud, guiac wood, mahogany, and honeyed vetiver. IN DUBIIS LIBERTAS "In doubtful things, liberty." A perfume that celebrates civil rights, true justice, and freedom from authoritarianism: golden amber, smoked vanilla, benzoin, and blue cypress. IN OMNIBUS CARITAS "In all things, love." A perfume of compassion, respect, and empathy for our fellow humans, and for the land itself and all the creatures that call it home: honey and mallow flower, sugar cane, white sandalwood, orris, and vanilla bean.
  4. Over the weekend, Dark Delicacies unveiled the two new Lace perfume blends we created to celebrate the store's 25th anniversary. We're blessed to have remained so close to this institution in the horror community, and hope to spend many more years silvering alongside them. These blends, DARK LACE and SILVER LACE, are available exclusively from Dark Delicacies! https://www.darkdel.com/store/c10/BLACK_PHOENIX_ALCHEMY_LAB.html DARK LACE Happy 25th anniversary, Dark Delicacies! Your contributions to horror are beyond measure. Del and Sue, your kindness, generosity, humor, and passion is a gift to all. You are amazing human beings, true friends, and the best grandparents that a little ghoul could ask for. Thank you for everything; Dark Delicacies truly is the Home of Horror, and all of us in the horror community are in your debt. Twelve years ago, we created our first Lace scent for Dark Delicacies, Black Lace. This is a homage to that first scent - sugar-spun vanilla cream cotton, stained by tobacco and incense, Indian musk, and drops of cognac - sharpened with the incense of a hundred Hammer films, a handful of soil from Dracula’s homeland, a creep of crypt moss, and a dash of mummy bitumen. SILVER LACE Not only is silver the traditional 25th anniversary gift, but it has deep, shiny roots in horror – from the silver that scorches vampires to the bullets that take werewolves down. Silver is the gleam of a goth’s ankh, silver is the sliver of the fog-shrouded moon. This Lace is cool and metallic, gleaming and liminal, sharp and fanged, with bitter black vanilla husk, bourbon tobacco, white cognac, juniper berry, white musk, ti leaf, and Italian bergamot.
  5. Be advised, this run with Sphere + Sundry is smaller than usual, and will sell out quickly! https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/fixed-star-aldebaran Have you ever considered harnessing the power of Aldebaran, the red eye of the bull in the constellation Taurus? This series of ritual tools and oils is your best opportunity. As Kaitlin writes: "This red star is one of the brightest the sky has to offer, and has a tremendously benefic impact on the individual who puts it to work for their own benefit, but Aldebaran is also famed for its 'bullish' nature and inclined to temper tantrums. Often the anger expressed here is righteous, related to feelings of under appreciation and valuation by those around them, or simply not getting what one feels entitled to." The following are BPAL x Twilight Alchemy Lab's contributions: THE RED EYE OF THE BULL "An oil of tenacity, strength, determination, and the power and success that comes from hard work well-rewarded. It is an oil of ambitions achieved through perseverance, and it is a catalyst for prosperity, increased status, and material gain. The Red Eye of the Bull doesn’t take anyone’s shit, doesn’t shrink from hard work, and has the drive, courage, and authority to make its earthly dreams manifest. Frankincense oil, tears, and CO2 extract (Boswellia serrata), dragon’s blood resin (Daemonorops draco), organic milk thistle (Silybum marianum), clove essential oil, CO2 extract and bud (Syzygium aromaticum), organic Atlas cedarwood essential oil (Cedrus atlantica), organic Western red cedar essential oil (Thuja plicata), bay laurel essential oil and leaves from the TAL garden (Laurus nobilis), Calabrian bergamot essential oil (Citrus bergamia), angelica root and essential oil (Angelica archangelica) and angelica CO2 extract (Angelica sinensis), and garnet chips washed in red wine and bourbon." ARCHANGEL MICHAEL ANOINTING OIL "This is an all-purpose anointing oil that has been dedicated to and consecrated under the auspices of Archangel Michael, and was further empowered during a novena leading up to Michaelmas. It is highly purifying, sanctifying, and protective, and is particularly useful in cleansing a person, object, or space of baneful, malevolent influences. Its protective power is hot and fiery - triumphant, potent, and fearsome. Frankincense essential oil (Boswellia carteri), Atlas cedar essential oil (Cedrus atlantica), angelica essential oil and root (Angelica archangelica), calamus root and essential oil (Acorus calamus), benzoin resinoid (Styrax tonkinensis), cinnamon essential oil and bark (Cinnamomum verum), Roman chamomile essential oil (Chamaemelum nobile), and single-origin organic olive oil." THE SWORD OF ST. MICHAEL "This is an oil of battle and protection. The Sword of St. Michael is particularly effective in protecting the vulnerable, the marginalized, and the meek, and it grants strength, courage, and determination to those whose spirits are flagging. It can be utilized for both offense and defense, and is effective not only as a personal guardian, but also in workings that protect communities that are imperiled from those in power who wish to exploit, harm, or victimize them. Orange blossom absolute (Citrus aurantium var. amara), steam-distilled Madagascar clove bud essential oil and organic clove bud (Eugenia caryophyllata), frankincense serrata CO2 extract (Boswellia serrata), angelica, frankincense essential oil (Boswellia carteri), hops essential oil (Humulus lupulus), western red cedar essential oil and berries (Thuja plicata), Atlas cedar essential oil (Cedrus atlantica), Tunisian neroli (Citrus aurantium var amara), wild-crafted Moroccan bay laurel essential oil and bay leaves from the TAL garden (Laurus nobilis), myrrh essential oil and tears (Commiphora myrrha), organic blood orange essential oil (C. aurantium var dulce), dragon’s blood resin (Daemonorops draco), single-origin organic olive oil, sunflower oil, red vegetal musk, tiger’s eye chips, and carnelian chips."
  6. Seventeen? That's crazy. SEVENTEEN? (How oldd Beneath a mountain of thank you's, you'll find twelve new perfume blends drawing inspiration from the very earth under our feet: the minerals, rocks, and glittering things native to California. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/17th-anniversary/ But no, really, THANK YOU! Here's to another 17 years... or 17,000. Also brand spankin' new (especially by geological standards): BEAVER MOON perfume and tee shirt. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/beaver-moon-2019-perfume-oil/ And four new duets! đź‘Ż RED OUD & BALSAM đź‘Ż HONEYSUCKLE & PATCHOULI đź‘Ż CEDARWOOD & SMOKED VANILLA đź‘Ż HAY & CLOVE https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/duets-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ And last but not least (or else they'd kill us) Scorpio socks. Better photo forthcoming! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/socks/scorpio-socks/
  7. Save the date, and budget your holiday shopping accordingly! Our 'Saturday the 14th' Yule event at the Lab will be a veritable who's-who of vendors and entertainment. Acclaimed singer & songwriter JILL SOBULE will kick off our event with a special guest appearance promoting our Activism perfume blends — if you've been verrrrry good this year, perhaps she'll even sing! https://www.jillsobule.com/ Our horror fam DARK DELICACIES will present a pop-up version of their Burbank store, featuring the latest in spine-tingling books, art, and accessories! http://darkdel.com Local artist and comics titan KATE LETH will return with all kinds of stickers, pins, and other delightfully queer stocking stuffers! http://kateleth.com/ Shopping for someone who has everything? PORTALS OF TIME VINTAGE will be back with trunks and trays full of unique Victorian mourning jewelry and other one-of-a-kind items! https://www.etsy.com/shop/PortalsOfTimeVintage We'll also have a table set aside for ceremonial and spell components created by TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB As is our custom, this event will also function as a toy drive, to help make sure every child has something to open on Christmas morning. Your donation will net you a free bottle of an exclusive perfume blend. More details TBA! Anyone who's managed to survive FRIDAY THE 13th the day before simply must come pay us a visit! Event info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1138078229718453/
  8. "At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, this is the creepiest thing I have ever smelled... I challenge you to dribble a bit of this on your wrist and try to read Dracula without going a little bit insane." Read the whole batch of reviews here! We are so thrilled. http://hautemacabre.com/2019/11/2019-weenies-from-black-phoenix-alchemy-lab/
  9. Our event is THIS SATURDAY (from 5 to 9pm! Goats visiting during the first two hours!) which means it's time to start stocking up on stuffs to donate to the Burbank Temporary Aid Center They've made a list of everything they're accepting on their site: https://www.burbanktemporaryaidcenter.org/donate/ Your donation of $20 worth of approved food items (we're also accepting cash) will get you a free bottle of the following seasonal perfume blend: WHEN THE FROST IS ON THE PUNKIN When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock, And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin’ turkey-cock, And the clackin’ of the guineys, and the cluckin’ of the hens, And the rooster’s hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence; O, it’s then’s the times a feller is a-feelin’ at his best, With the risin’ sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest, As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock, When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock. They’s something kindo’ harty-like about the atmusfere When the heat of summer’s over and the coolin’ fall is here— Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossums on the trees, And the mumble of the hummin’-birds and buzzin’ of the bees; But the air’s so appetizin’; and the landscape through the haze Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days Is a pictur’ that no painter has the colorin’ to mock— When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock. The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn, And the raspin’ of the tangled leaves, as golden as the morn; The stubble in the furries—kindo’ lonesome-like, but still A-preachin’ sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill; The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed; The hosses in theyr stalls below—the clover over-head!— O, it sets my hart a-clickin’ like the tickin’ of a clock, When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock! Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps Is poured around the celler-floor in red and yeller heaps; And your cider-makin’ ’s over, and your wimmern-folks is through With their mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and saussage, too! ... I don’t know how to tell it—but ef sich a thing could be As the Angels wantin’ boardin’, and they’d call around on me— I’d want to ’commodate ’em—all the whole-indurin’ flock— When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock! - James Whitcomb Riley A very frosty punkin: golden amber leaves rustling around a patch of late autumn pumpkins dusted with a cap of glittering, sugar-white snow.
  10. Trump attended Game 5 of the World Series, and when he was announced on the public address system after the third inning, the crowd surged into a “sustained booing” that hit almost 100 decibels. Both the living and the dead are offended by this administration’s cruelty and perfidy. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/activism/sustained-boos-perfume-oil/ This scent is both ethereal and heavy; it is a booming roar of derision, a howl of resistance echoing into the darkness: a chilly aldehyde with blackened clove and coffee bean, black sandalwood, nutmeg, nag champa, white amber, and benzoin. Proceeds from the sale of this scent benefit the ACLU. Art by Drew Rausch!
  11. Southerners! On the fence about attending Dirty South October Lunacy: Death and the Maiden tomorrow? Know that this event will serve as the debut of this new EXCLUSIVE mini collection, featuring the many faces of local revenant/event coordinator Lisa Dunham. ++ DIRTY SOUTH ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE $28 apiece! These four oils benefit Fair Fight 2020 https://fairfight.com HRNNGH A mouldering, mossy oudh. BWUHHH? Grave dirt, crunchy leaves, smoky patchouli, and honey tobacco. GLARRGH Smashed apples and sawdust in a collapsing barn. MONCH Candied brains globbed with pink grapefruit, blue raspberry sugar, and honey. For more updates on these events, including which specific Limited Edition items they'll be stocking, follow this page: BPAL Dirty South Lunacy Event.
  12. On 10/18 at 3pm EST US, our friends Blood Milk Jewels be releasing a limited quantity of our entire collection of scent collaborations, plus a surprise! FIVE new ones, inspired by jewels from Blood Milk's coffers. From their post: "All of these objects are ready to ship and exist in limited amounts." First come, first served! https://www.bloodmilkjewels.com/collections/perfume-oils Scent descriptions to come, but here's the list of new perfumes: đź–¤ AMOUR FOU đź–¤ ARIEL đź–¤ BOOKS đź–¤ FORGET ME NOT đź–¤ MOURNING EYE
  13. Failmingo

    Six New RPG Scents Are Live!

    We love gaming, and our RPG fragrance series was born from a desire for players to create a signature scent for their character, by layering several different perfume blends inspired by each stage of character creation. We have now expanded the range of character classes you can pick from, and Julie Dillon created masculine, feminine, and non-binary illustrations so you can have your pick of label art when you purchase. Eventually this will be an option for ALL the character class blends! For now, it's just these six. Gaming has often served as a gateway for people to explore gender realities beyond anything they've had access to previously. And so has fragrance! We're very happy to have brought these worlds together. See the full list of new RPG offerings below: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/general-catalog-perfume-oils/rpg-series/ ++ NEW CHARACTER CLASS PERFUMES ARTIFICER Gleaming metal, gear oil, sparking wires, shattered glass, and a blue flicker of arcane power. ASSASSIN Supple black leather, poison-tipped daggers, and a garrote soaked in pitch. BERZERKER Thick furs, strips of leather, and a blood-stained axe with crushed poplar bud and juniper. MONK Sandalwood incense, ti leaf, and honeyed saffron. PSIONICIST A blast of mental energy: electric white mint, eucalyptus leaf, white frankincense, and blue-white musk. SORCERER A golden, sparking surge of raw, wild magic: waves of amber, frankincense, red cacao, blood orange, and lavender touched by demonic incense and dragon’s blood.
  14. Failmingo

    New: HUNTER MOON + Tee + Duets

    The moon is swelling with October mysteries, right before our eyes! Preserve this mood in perpetuity with our HUNTER MOON perfume blend, and accompanying tee shirt, with design by Dan Santat. "As the winter encroaches, the time comes to embark on the last Great Hunts of the year. The deer are fattened, the fields have been reaped, and the light of the full moon illuminates the wild creatures that have come out to glean. This scent is redolent of night skies, falling leaves, and the high-pitched tension and release associated with the Hunt. A blend of traditional lunar oils touched with dry leaves, autumn bonfires, warm mulled wine, feral, animalistic notes and the chill of approaching winter." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/hunter-moon-2019-perfume-oil/ Also, a fresh flight of Duets, simple two-note scents: đź‘Ż PATCHOULI AND NEROLI đź‘Ż MOONFLOWER AND ORRIS đź‘Ż PINE AND BLACK PEPPER đź‘Ż PALO SANTO AND SANDALWOOD https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/duets-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/
  15. Have your ancestors heard from you lately? This collaboration with Sphere + Sundry has produced an essential toolkit "with the goal of facilitating certain dynamics with one’s Dead, improving familial relations, and assisting the grieving and ancestral healing process." Among the many fine products, we're very proud to have contributed three different oil blends, recapped below: https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/the-ancestral-series 💀 ANCESTOR ALTAR "This is a cleansing blend used to purify, anoint, and consecrate tools and spaces used in ancestor veneration....Organic steam-distilled lemongrass essential oil (Cymbopogan citratus), South African hydro distilled organic palmarosa essential oil (Cymbopogon martini), wild crafted citronella java essential oil (Cymbopogon nardus), muhuhu essential oil (Brachylaena hutchinsi), wild crafted organic vetiver essential oil (Vetiveria zizanioides), Moroccan rue essential oil (Ruta Graveolens), Sicilian lemon essential oil (Citrus limon), blue malee eucalyptus essential oil (Eucalyptus polybractea), frankincense essential oil (Boswellia carteri and Boswellia serrata), single-origin olive oil, and lemongrass and citronella harvested from the TAL garden." 💀 THE BELOVED DEAD "This oil has a twofold purpose: easing the transition of the dead and soothing the grief of the living...Three frankincense essential oils (two Boswellia carteri and one Boswellia serrata), wild crafted organic vetiver essential oil (Vetiveria zizanoides), Tunisian rosemary essential oil (Rosmarinus officinalis), honey absolute (Apis mellifera), rose absolute (Rosa centifolia), steam-distilled Peruvian palo santo essential oil (Bursera graveolens), and single-origin olive oil. 💀 HEKATE CTHONIA "An oil reflecting one of the underworld aspects of Golden Crowned Hekate, sepulchral mother who reigns beneath the earth....Myrrh essential oil, resinoid, and tears (Commiphora myrrha), kua myrrh resin (Commiphora abyssinica) from Phytognosis, styrax essential oil steam-distilled from sap wood and bark tissues (Liquidamber orientalis), cypress essential oil (Cupressus sempervirens), 10-year aged Sumatran patchouli essential oil and patchouli leaves from the TAL garden, frankincense essential oil and tears (Boswellia carteri), saffron (whole stigma, Crocus sativus), galbanum essential oil (Ferula galbaniflua), opoponax resin (Commiphora guidottii), flecks of silver, single-origin olive oil, and obsidian chips."