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Failmingo

Lab Staff
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

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    New York City
  • Country
    United States

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    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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    tomblunt

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    Ram
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    Aries

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  1. Soft release! You heard it here first. (Sharing more widely once everything on the site is fully cached.) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/halloween-2020/ Here's what you'll find: 🎃 Halloween 2020 General Catalog - A fête of perfume blends honoring the season in scent 🎃 The Haunted House - Perfume blends for a year in which we became ghosts in our own houses 🎃 Pile of Leaves - New variations on BPAL's home-brewed "dead leaves" accord 🎃 Hallowenches Lockdown - These horror pinup queens are in quarantine too, and we've bottled their angst in a series of Hair Gloss blends 🎃 Smut-O-Ween - A Lupercalia perfume blend in a variety of Halloween disguises 🎃 Tote bags! We've got yer tote bags 👻 PLEASE NOTE that this year's batch of 'Weenies has arrived late due to covid-19 related production restrictions. Sadly, we will NOT be able to deliver these before October 31st. Thanks in advance for understanding as we make the best of an unfortunate situation! The same will go for our Yule/Christmas collection, so be prepared to do any gift-shopping extra early this year. 👻 Later, if you want, you can help us spread the word by sharing our official YouTube video announcement!
  2. An update on Weenies, and the challenging season ahead, from your local BPAL marketing demon! If all goes according to plan, the Weenies will arrive later this week. Yay! The collection is hefty, though the main release may not include everything we've teased. Boo! And as much as it pains us, it's important to note that we will NOT be able to ship in time for Halloween arrival. (If that wasn't already obvious by now, ha!) Without the support of a production staff, the past few months have been unbelievably difficult for those remaining on the team. Normally by this time of year, the staff is somewhat rested in anticipation of the major holiday crush. Well, that's just not the case this time. Instead, just to maintain "normal" operations, the remaining staff have spent the spring and summer working too many hours per day, too many days a week, through the months that are normally our chill period. We're heading into this season already maxed out, but the nature of our insanity dictates that we persist and give it our best shot! We're already working on plans to help shore up production throughout the coming season. But this is the first time we're attempting releases on this scale without our staff, and we apologize in advance for any irregularities as we try our best to keep up with the demand. Here's one easy example: IMPS. Everyone loves 'em. They love buying samples to test, and they also love getting freebies with their order. However, imps are perhaps the most labor intensive product that BPAL produces, and we're having a difficult time keeping them in stock for purchase, let alone to give away. I know the "free gift with purchase" aspect may be a huge factor in folks' enthusiasm for our product, or their justification for the expense, so it can be a bummer to open a box and not find any rattling around — especially if it's a hefty order. Please just know that if your box is lacking frimps, it's simply because they don't exist. The only hands available to make them were probably needed elsewhere. Maybe several elsewheres. Similarly, the hands typing answers to Customer Service questions are not available for packing orders, and vice versa. So here's my periodic request for folks to wait a little longer before checking in, or to space out your requests re: combining orders, if possible. There are many days when it's impossible to keep up with the email queue AND the order queue. Since many of the emails relate to whether stuff has shipped, it behooves me to ask for community help with this conundrum. On that note: while we are happy to combine orders to cut down on customer cost and reduce waste, please be mindful that when there's a lot of back-and-forth and follow-ups involved, this does gradually add up to a considerable cost on our side, in the form of labor. So. if you can afford the shipping on an additional order, just know that it won't hurt our feelings any to show a little extra support for the USPS during this difficult time. I'm also renewing my request that BPAListas not try to jump the queue by reaching out to Elizabeth and Ted via their private social media for questions related to orders and other work stuff. The burnout is MAJOR, as I'm sure many of you are experiencing in your own situations. We do not want the team to feel they must be available 24/7 or receive a steady stream of notifications during their few non-work hours. (You may pester me instead, in a pinch; I can't check on orders, but I will be happy to advise and save steps where I can, even if it's just to say "Please email Ted.") Is that everything? I had to scan back through what I wrote to make sure these restrictions didn't sound too imposing... but really there's nothing hard-line about BPAL that we're changing or asking you to change. Please just remember that a very few humans are doing their damnedest to maintain the continuity of this wonderful company and all its traditions, and that not ONE DAY goes by when we manage to do this without your help and love, in one form or another. Sometimes, it seems to me that we might be succeeding a little too well in keeping up a robust, outward-facing veneer that says BPAL is LITERAL MAGIC and that we're kicking this year's ass. We are magic, but we are very, very, very much being kicked. The disappointments are endless. And working this hard, for this long, it becomes impossible to overlook the failures and the opportunities lost, both large and small. So, forging ahead through the upcoming season is going to require more communication throughout our community, and some additional consideration as we all do our best to tend the flame. And that communication isn't just one-way! I'm including my email address below in case someone has questions they don't want to ask via social media. Thank you for reading! My heart is warmed to know how many people still care about the Weenies despite *waves hands* all of this. tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com
  3. Greetings, all! Haute Macabre has fully restocked their BPAL collaborations, available via pre-order through November 2nd. And they've also introduced a new addition to the treasure chest of offerings, available as a perfume and/or a hair gloss: IN THE SHADOW ROOM "Inky black pomegranate, blackcurrant, cassis, red sandalwood, ambrette seed and fossilized amber, pink peppercorn, and guiaicwood." https://hautemacabre.com/2020/10/in-the-shadow-room/
  4. I know you may be holding out for BIGGER NEWS, but this small new collection of scents inspired by timeless occult artworks is here to seduce you all the same! Created in collaboration with S. Elizabeth, whose incredible new book The Art of The Occult was also released today. The perfumes! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/ars-inspiratio The book! https://www.quartoknows.com/books/9780711248830/The-Art-of-the-Occult.html?direct=1 CIRCE INDIVIDIOSA Circe Invidiosa, John William Waterhouse. 1892 “The colors in this painting are so lush and beautiful that they defy description. I have always thought that tipping dish of poison, the shade of crushed emeralds and mantis wings, must be the precise color of our heart's blood when we are in the venomous throes of enraged, envious desire.” Salt-spray dotting an azure cove, its waters swirling with noxious poisons and venom drawn from dreadful roots: a cascade of blackcurrant and crystalline blue-green waters infused with theriac accord, bruised henbane accord, white gardenia, pear, cedarwood, emerald mosses, tuberose, and bitter almond. THE WITCH/STREGA The Witch/Strega, Angelo Caroselli, 17th Century “Look at this witch's face! You know she's going to be a cutting-clever one, uttering snarky-sneaky observations that make you both gasp and splutter with repressed laughter about mutuals you can't stand. I want to be her Facebook friend. She'd be a scream in a Netflix watch party.” Leatherbound tomes and rose cream, flickering flames of twin ambers, and a cascade of shadows: black oud, teakwood, black beeswax, 13-year aged patchouli, cinnabar, balsam, sweet labdanum, tonka bean, and smoke. THE CHOIRS OF ANGELS The Choirs of Angels, Hildegard von Bingen 1151-1152 “I always thought these holy mandalas looked a little bit like saintly Spirographs. Also: can you imagine peeking into the inner sanctum of a superfluity of mysterious nuns and discovering them lounging around, playing with Spirographs and Fashion Plates and LightBrite toys?” A radiant blend of three frankincense oils, white bergamot, crystallized cistus, lavender, angelica root, and fiery neroli. THE WISH The Wish, Theodor Von Holst, 1840 “I've always wanted to know what wishes are longed for in the dark-eyed gaze of this intense young woman. Myself, I simply wish to rifle through the box of baubles and jewels in the bottom right of the canvas. Maybe help myself to that pearl-tipped hat-pin.” An incense of candied smoked fruits, Oman frankincense, red oud, labdanum absolute, sheer vanilla, patchouli, red musk seed, osmanthus, and datura accord. ALTARPIECE - NO 1 - GROUP X Altarpiece - No 1 - Group X. Hilma af Klint 1907 “I was privileged to visit the ‘Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future’ exhibit when it was at the Guggenheim in 2019. The scale and scope of some of these visionary works were of such a breathtaking nature that I grew faint and strange; I thought (hoped, even!) I might be experiencing an art attack, a psychosomatic episode, a soupçon of Stendahl Syndrome. What made the afternoon complete was when my boyfriend's mother wandered into the Mapplethorpe exhibit and was a bit scandalized. not having any familiarity or context before doing so. All kinds of feels on this day!” A prism of sacred frankincense refracting a golden amber light into a spectrum of daemonorops draco, King mandarin, golden oud, verdant moss, blue tansy, indigo vegetal musk, and wild plum.
  5. Profoundly honored to contribute yet again to a Sphere + Sundry release. This time, proprietor Kaitlin Coppock has assembled a collection of ritual tools consecrated under conditions favorable to Hermanubis, "a psychopompic deity whose lore and operations are in perfect alignment with a Mercurial Eclipse of the Sun." So much to read and learn about that, at the link below! https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/hermanubis-ii-scorpio/ The BPAL/Twilight Alchemy Lab contribution: BALM OF HERMANUBIS "The bridge between life and death, between the conscious and unconscious, between the soul and the body. This is an oil to be used during the process of understanding life, death, and the spaces in-between. It eases the pain of grieving, opens doorways to the liminal space between states of being, and enables you to better understand life by confronting and embracing death. It is a scent of stillness and quiet, of standing in cool shadows. It is the solemn and joyous embrace of the beloved dead; you are not alone. Cypress essential oil and cypress from the TAL garden (Cupressus sempervirens), myrrh essential oil and tears (Commiphora myrrha), organic hops flowers and hops essential oil (Humulus lupulus), cedar leaf (Thuja plicata), cedar berries (Juniperus monosperma), western red cedar essential oil (Thuja plicata) and Atlas cedar (Cedrus atlantica), peru balsam (Myroxylon pereirae), and black vegetal musk."
  6. Very thrilled about the somewhat timely arrival of these, your October 2020 Lunacy offerings! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/october-2020/ FALLING LEAVES MOON - Perfume and Tee Shirt Today, as I rode by, I saw the brown leaves dropping from their tree In a still afternoon, When no wind whirled them whistling to the sky, But thickly, silently, They fell, like snowflakes wiping out the noon; And wandered slowly thence For thinking of a gallant multitude Which now all withering lay, Slain by no wind of age or pestilence, But in their beauty strewed Like snowflakes falling on the Flemish clay. - Margaret Postgate Cole A cascade of fading leaves against a backdrop of grey ambergris, grassy vetiver, carrot seed, fossilized amber, green cardamom, cinnamon husk, saffron, tobacco flower, and bay laurel. ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS 🥉 HIMALAYAN WHITE TEA, LEMON PEEL, AND GRASS 🥉 PAPYRUS, CARDAMOM, AND BALSAM 🥉 CEYLON CINNAMON, OLIBANUM, AND CACAO [Editing to fix this, olibanum was previously listed as myrrh -- Tom ] 🥉 RED MANDARIN, FRENCH LAVENDER, AND JUNIPER 🥉 LEATHER, INDIGO INCENSE, AND RED AMBER ++ TAL ROSE-TINTED MIRROR You are so beautiful. You really are, but it might be hard to remember that right now while we’re all slogging through the mire of the pandemic, the lockdown, and this melancholy isolation. Rose-Tinted Mirror is a gentle little pick me up that will help remind you of all that’s radiant about you, inside and out. There’s a sensual aspect that will assist in reconnecting you with the joys of your own body, and a heart-healing aspect that will assist you in pushing through your anxiety, grief, or fear so that you can open yourself up more freely to joy again. You are beautiful, you deserve happiness. Rose otto, red benzoin, mallow, amber resinoid, CO2 extract of orris root, balm of gilead, frankincense, honey absolute, and violet leaf. Please note: this oil contains honey and is not vegan. ++ BLUE MOON(S) BLUE MOON The spirit of the full moon is capricious, intense and passionate, yet still distant, aloof and cold. Luna herself governs glamours, bewitchments and dream-work, innocent wonder, transient pleasure and delight, the Moment, impulse, mystery and veils. The Blue Moon is one of her rarest manifestations, and this scent is formulated to encapsulate her most complex and profound nature: Mugwort and bay, for psychic sensitivity… Juniper, for divination through dreams… Orchid and galbanum, for complexity, wisdom and noscere… … with a potent lunar-charged blend of exquisite woods, moonflower, Madagascan ylang ylang, Florentine iris, wild juniper, starry bergamot, elemi, green tea absolute, palmarosa, cucumber, Clary sage, lettuce leaf, melilot trefoils, wood aloes, and pale creeping buttercup. LUNA AZUL Ted’s interpretation. The ephemeral romance, the fleeting affair: frankincense and blackcurrant, caramelized black amber, and motia attar. BLAUER MOND Brian's interpretation. A whisper under the moonlight: blue musk, and indigo amber, myrrh, moonlit oudh, opoponax, terebinth, and tobacco leaf. LÁN YUÈLIÀNG Lilith's interpretation. From the Littlest Perfumer: I’m taking Mandarin now and we’re learning a lot about holidays that follow the lunar calendar. This perfume is inspired by me thinking about how the moon guides our lives. It’s a little sweet and a little sour. Blueberries and white tea with sugar, lemon peel, and bergamot.
  7. Pre-orders for the MORIUNTUR and BOOK OF THE DEAD lockets are now open! ☠️ ☠️ MORIUNTUR https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/jewelry/lockets/moriuntur-locket/ ☠️ BOOK OF THE DEAD https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/jewelry/lockets/book-of-the-dead-locket/
  8. We are thrilled to inform you that once again, our MORIUNTUR and BOOK OF THE DEAD scent locket designs will be available for pre-order on Thursday, September 24th. There isn't an exact time scheduled for this new round of pre-orders, but if you follow us on Twitter or Instagram, we promise to post again tomorrow before the products are set to go live. (Or is it "undead"?) First come, first served! ☠️☠️☠️ The lockets: ☠️ MORIUNTUR https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/jewelry/lockets/moriuntur-locket/ ☠️ BOOK OF THE DEAD https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/jewelry/lockets/book-of-the-dead-locket/ BPAL on Twitter: https://twitter.com/bpal BPAL on Instagram: https://instagram.com/blackphoenixalchemylab/
  9. We hate, HATE to raise prices! However, due to the climbing cost of silver, this is your last chance at the current price for any of our sterling silver scent locket designs. All future restocks (for older as well as newer designs) will retail for $120. Boooo! But in the meantime, you can still purchase our remaining stock at the current price, which is $100. Once these run out, we'll update the website accordingly.
  10. Hello everyone, I've been asked to inform you that it's LAST CALL for the following items, which we'll be removing from the site tonight: ⚠️ HARVEST MOON Tee Shirt ⚠️ The remaining ANNIVERSARY 2019 products ⚠️ The remaining YULE 2019 products ⚠️ The remaining LUPERCALIA 2020 products ⚠️ All remaining Lunacy products released in June or earlier. (This includes the Menage and TAL blends!) Short notice, we know! But we've got to make room for all the new stuff that awaits right around the corner...
  11. Failmingo

    HARVEST MOON Lunacy is live!

    Over the holiday weekend, our HARVEST MOON perfume began stalking around the site, stirring the other autumnal scents from their slumber and calling them back into service. September's full moon officially ushers in our favorite time of year! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/harvest-moon-2020-perfume-oil/ "This Harvest lunacy combines the autumnal scents of dry leaves, mulling spices, balsam fir, pine needles, cedar, juniper berry, clove, saffron, damson plum, white sage, yarrow, and lily twined with Dionysus’ sacred grapes and ivy, a bounty of apple, black fig, and pumpkin, and the amaranth and lingum aloes of Janus, all touched by a gentle breath of festival woodsmoke and sweet wine." This killer label design by Dan Santat is also available as a tee shirt! But the reaper isn't riding alone: they're trailed by a sextet of the following Ménage à Trois perfumes. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ 🥉 CEDARWOOD, VANILLA ABSOLUTE, AND TOLU BALSAM 🥉 PINK CARNATION, PATCHOULI, AND FRANKINCENSE 🥉 RED BENZOIN, YLANG YLANG, AND TOBACCO 🥉 VERBENA, ORANGE BLOSSOM, AND KING MANDARIN 🥉 WISTERIA, MUGUET, AND LILY OF THE VALLEY 🥉 EUCALYPTUS, WHITE MINT, AND LEMON PEEL And finally, a timely new offering from our sister site, Twilight Alchemy Lab: SHELTER https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/twilight-alchemy-lab/shelter-perfume-oil/ "I built this oil to help form a sense of fundamental safety, a solid bedrock that you can build from. This is an oil of stability and grounding that will help you find the strength to keep going. This oil contains warm brown patchouli, angelica root, oakmoss absolute, lemongrass, vetiver, bourbon vanilla absolute, lavender bud, ginger root, spruce, vervain, three sages, and barley."
  12. 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔... BPAL is thrilled to announce a partnership with author Sady Doyle on a new collection of 8 perfume blends, drawing inspiration from her incredible non-fiction book "Dead Blondes & Bad Mothers: Monstrosity, Patriarchy, and the Fear of Female Power" (Penguin Random House, 2019). https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/dead-blondes-and-bad-mothers/ One year ago, Doyle's book combed through history and pop culture, presenting archetypes of feminine monstrosity that have been used to define and control womanhood — some of which may now be reclaimed as roles of tremendous power. Our DEAD BLONDES & BAD MOTHERS fragrance collection highlights eight of those archetypes, each captured in scent and accompanied by a trenchant quote from the book, presented in a 5ml amber apothecary bottle. The perfumes: ☿️ POSSESSED TEEN ☿️ DEAD BLONDE ☿️ ALIEN/SIREN ☿️ BLUEBEARD'S WIFE ☿️ HAUNTED HOUSEWIFE ☿️ MAMA GEIN ☿️ THE WOMAN AT THE EDGE OF THE WOODS We're also restocking a handful of Trading Post offerings today as well! • ALICE Hair Gloss • EREBOS Atmosphere Spray • TKO Atmosphere Spray • CATHOUSE Atmosphere Spray
  13. Just a warning from the chiefs, those badass FRUIT MOON tees will be coming down in the next couple of days. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/fruit-moon-tee/
  14. We did not intend to release a bonkers August mini-release, but... look what happened anyway! Recapping below: 🎢 The PLEASE SCREAM INSIDE YOUR SNAKE OIL perfume blend is our new happy place, by way of our old happy place. ✨ From Twilight Alchemy Lab, an oil crafted to help ease that darkest of impulses: DOOMSCROLL BLOCKER 👁 Two new perfumes inspired by Neil Gaiman quotes, featuring David Mack's SANDMAN art: THE THINGS WE DO MAKE ECHOES, and WHAT YOU WANT AND BEING HAPPY ARE TWO QUITE DIFFERENT THINGS. 🌄 A new collection of scents entitled WHO CAN FIGHT AGAINST DESPAIR, inspired by the haunting times between night and day. 🍌 FRUIT MOON is this month’s Lunacy, featuring a bananalicious label design by Dan Santat that’s also available as a tee. 👚 Speaking of tees! We’ve also got a new PLAGUE DOCTOR design, a BPAL logo tee, and a version of the PLEASE SCREAM design by Drew Rausch. You can now also buy stickers of the same design! 🥉 SIX new Ménage à Trois perfume blends to pick through. LAVENDER, WHITE CLOVE, AND AMBRETTE SEED TOMATO LEAF, BLACK PEPPER, AND HAY ABSOLUTE BLACK FIG, OAK BARK, AND BROWN SUGAR LEMON PEEL, MARSHMALLOW, AND ORANGE BLOSSOM SKIN MUSK, CREAM, AND HONEY DUST TAHITIAN VANILLA, MYSORE SANDALWOOD, AND BERGAMOT ♒️ PISCES socks! AQUARIUS socks! Socks on socks on socks.
  15. Time to talk turkey, BPAL fans! As most of you know, the Lab has maintained a General Catalog of perfume blends dating all the way back to its earliest days. These remain our most accessible and affordable option, since we also sell them in sample sizes! However, what you may not know is that many of these beloved recipes are among our lowest sellers, and have been for a really long time. As time goes on, it's getting more and more difficult to justify the expense and labor required to keep these in stock, or the space in our crowded warehouse to store them. And now that we can't travel with them to conventions as a way of luring new fans into our clutches, they are truly languishing on the shelves. DO NOT BE ALARMED: we have not yet made any plans to discontinue any of these scents! However, in the interest of re-introducing them to the public, and giving devotees an opportunity to stump for them, we have decided to launch a new 15 MINUTES OF 'FUME spin-off series. We've rounded up FIFTY of our lowest-selling General Catalog perfumes — many of them tied for last place in terms of number of bottles sold in the past year. The full list can be seen below! In BPAL's upcoming ✨TOURNAMENT OF UNDERDOGS✨, these bottles will be pitted against each other two at a time, and judged side by side to see which deserves to advance in the rankings. Nothing bad is going to happen to the "losers," this is all purely in fun! Each will receive their moment in the spotlight and hopefully put them on perfume lovers' radar again. Or maybe some things just weren't meant to last forever? Which perfume will survive all these rounds of combat, clawing its way out of obscurity and back onto people's perfume shelves? We shall know soon! *very evil laughter* As you can see below, we've released the brackets early so folks will have a chance to root for their faves! In addition to combing through the forum reviews, Galen and I will be searching the #tournamentofunderdogs hashtag on Twitter and Instagram to look for testamonials while we're filming these videos. So if you want to tell the world why they might enjoy one of your favorite perfumes, you'll have your chance! Who knows, maybe your input will break a tie vote. At the heart of it, this competition is just a tribute we want to pay to all of these scents: the work that Elizabeth put into crafting them, the memories they've become associated with over the years, and the way they helped BPAL grow into the community and creative juggernaut you see staggering before you. There's no way we could just discontinue some of these products without first exploring this history and giving fans an opportunity to weigh in. So what do you say, will you tune in and participate in the madness? The videos will end up on our YouTube channel, which you can subscribe to here. We'll also be posting them to Instagram, so follow us there. The TOURNAMENT OF UNDERDOGS will be officially announced tomorrow, and filming will start very soon! These match-ups were generated randomly! The first round of battles will be: 1. ROSES, PEARLS & DIAMONDS vs. RAKSHASA 2. MAG MELL vs. VICE 3. MACHU PICCHU vs. VIOLA 4. OBLIVION vs. THE GHOST 5. ODE ON MELANCHOLY vs. THE COILED SERPENT 6. QANDISA vs. SQUIRTING CUCUMBER 7. MORGAUSE vs. THE SCALES OF DEPRIVATION 8. MOSCOW vs. THE RED QUEEN 9. PRIDE vs. STRANGLER FIG 10. R'LYEH vs. SCHRODINGER'S CAT 11. MASQUERADE vs. URUK 12. LUCY'S KISS vs. Y'HA-NTHLEI 13. NO. 93 ENGINE vs. THE LITTLE WOODEN DOLL 14. PARAMATMAN vs. TENOCHTITLAN 15. QUEEN ALICE vs. SERAPHIM 16. MATA HARI vs. TUSHNAMATAY 17. NIGHT-GAUNT vs. QUEEN OF HEARTS 18. PRAGUE vs. SYBARIS And then seeded into later rounds: BLACK LILY HOW DOTH THE LITTLE CROCODILE DJINN BRUSQUE VIOLET LES BIJOUX KYOTODEADLY NIGHTSHADE HONEY BLACK LOTUS INCUBUSDESTROYING ANGEL BON VIVANT LONDON KABUKI DEATH CAP
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