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Failmingo

Lab Staff
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

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  • Location
    New York City
  • Country
    United States

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  • Gender
    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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    tomblunt

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  • Chinese Zodiac Sign
    Ram
  • Western Zodiac Sign
    Aries

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  1. Not a drill! All Haute Macabre pre-orders are back, and there's a new member in this family: TOTALITY, available both as a perfume and a hair gloss. The splendor and terror of Totality: an abyss of black patchouli, tabac, burgundy pitch, smoky frankincense, and black fig surrounded by a glowing nimbus of fossilized amber. You'll find everything here: https://haute-macabre.myshopify.com/
  2. Failmingo

    Lunacy Down Date Reminder!

    A reminder! Tomorrow's your last day to acquire our WOLF MOON perfume blend and tee shirt, as well as that last flight of Duets from December: 👯 WHITE GARDENIA AND VANILLA CREAM 👯 VIOLET AND PALE WOODS 👯 RASPBERRY AND RED BENZOIN 👯 JONQUIL AND POET'S NARCISSUS 👯 CHAMPA AND MYRRH The Twilight Alchemy Lab blend and MÉNAGE À TROIS will be sticking around for a while yet!
  3. Failmingo

    January Lunacy Release

    Hello everyone! Our first Lunacy release of the '20s is off and running, with some brand new features! ++ A LITTLE LUNACY WOLF MOON (and accompanying TEE) "A mother’s unconditional love, soul-deep compassion, and destiny: date plum, myrrh, black mulberry, black poplar, black fig, cypress, cassia, and Pan’s sacred pines." ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS Three-note perfumes born from my freeform daydreaming. These perfumes are ideal for layering, or can be worn alone. Duets will be appearing and disappearing here and there with the Lunacies throughout 2020. FRESH CUT GRASS, LEMON PEEL, AND BERGAMOT RED PATCHOULI, CHERRY WOOD, AND TOBACCO ABSOLUTE SOIL, OAKMOSS, AND FIR NEEDLE VANILLA, TUBEROSE, AND JASMINE ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB NEW BEGINNINGS An oil of fresh starts, but not a new beginning that ignores the past. This is a catalyst for new beginnings that spring from learning from experiences, processing the past, and being able to move forward with a clear head and your eyes open. Passion flower has been added to make the process gentler, and lemon peel and acacia gum to make the process swifter. Includes: lemon peel, passion flower herb, birch bark, acacia gum, frankincense, bay leaf, calendula, chicory root, grains of paradise, and lemon balm. ++ A SUNBURNT COUNTRY These scents are a fundraiser for Country Fire Authority Victoria in the hopes that we can help ameliorate the suffering caused by Australia’s bushfire crisis. MY COUNTRY "Her far horizons, her jewel-sea: a rose-tinted sunset of amber salt spray azure musk." THE KANGAROO "Wild grass, mosses, lemon myrtle, cinnamon myrtle, and bush nut." WALTZING MATILDA "Dusty vanilla bean and Moreton Bay Fig." And at long last.... ++ ONEIROS: A HYMN TO MORPHEUS We're deeply honored to present scents sprung from the beautiful, poignant prose of Neil Gaiman. Inspired by Neil Gaiman's words and David Mack's art, and created in conjunction with Neverwear. [https://neverwear.myshopify.com/] DREAMS SHAPE THE WORLD Amorphous streams and sparks of lavender fancies drifting through a moonlit musk, given form on this plane by fossilized amber and sweet agarwood. YOU GET WHAT ANYBODY GETS – YOU GET A LIFETIME An unimaginably ancient scent, older than time. The gentle, fluttering embrace of oblivion: myrrh and blackened champaca blossom, attar of oudh, black amber, Casmir wood, and dried fig. Words by Neil Gaiman [ https://www.neilgaiman.com/ ] , art by David Mack [ http://davidmackarts.com/]! ++ ZODIAC SCENT LOCKETS LIBRA LOCKET SCORPIO LOCKET SAGITTARIUS LOCKET CAPRICORN LOCKET ++ ZODIAC SOCKS LIBRA SOCKS SCORPIO SOCKS SAGITTARIUS SOCKS CAPRICORN SOCKS
  4. Failmingo

    New S+S Blends: MOTHER ALGOL

    When Mother Algol calls, we answer! Twilight Alchemy Lab's latest partnership with Sphere + Sundry has produced two potent oil blends created to elicit blessings from the star known as the "blinking eye" of the demon. Learn more about Algol and S+S's incredible talismanic offerings by following the link: http://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/mother-algol/ Here are the Lab's contributions: HEX BREAKER "Crafted in the throes of Algol and surrounded by the Gorgons’ serpents, this is a hex-breaking oil that shatters curses with a shriek of divine rage. Rosemary ct Verbenone steam-distilled essential oil (Rosmarinus officinalis (L.) ct verbenone), rosemary ct Cineole essential oil (Rosmarinus officinalis (L.) ct cineole), and rosemary from the TAL garden (Rosemary Prostatus cv. Severen Sea and Rosmarinus officinalis), Greek sea salt, organic lemon essential oil and lemon peel from the TAL garden (Citrus limon), wild-grown Nepalese lemongrass essential oil (Cymbopogon flexuosus Nees ex Steud) , West Indian lemongrass essential oil (Cymbopogon citratus, lemongrass from the TAL garden (Cymbopogon citratus), organic peppermint essential oil and peppermint from the TAL garden (Mentha piperita), blue gum eucalyptus essential oil (Eucalyptus globulus), and steam-distilled mugwort essential oil (Artemisia alba) and mugwort from the TAL garden (Artemisia vulgaris)." DRAKONTOMALLOI "This is an oil for the Gorgons – for veneration, prayer, and evocation. It is an oil of fierce and fearsome protection dedicated to the Gorgons and crafted under the watchful eye of Algol. This is a chorus of screams of primordial rage, this is a stony primeval bulwark that defends against curses. This is a guardian oil, snake-kissed and armored with unyielding scales of ekplektos, krúoeis, and déos... ...Steam-distilled mugwort essential oil (Artemisia alba) and mugwort from the TAL garden (Artemisia vulgaris), agrimony (Agrimonia eupatoria), Egyptian myrrh essential oil and myrrh tears (Commiphora myrrha), opoponax tears (Commiphora opoponax), guggul resin (Commiphora mukul), nettle leaf (Urtica dioica), oakmoss and oakmoss absolute (Evernia prunastri), galbanum absolute and CO2 extract of galbanum (Ferula galbaniflua), patchouli leaf and patchouli essential oil (Pogostemon cablin), celery seed essential oil (Apium graveolens), and three snake sheds. This oil is not vegan."
  5. Hello, dear ones! We at the Lab honestly weren't expecting such a tremendous reaction to the imps we gave out during Black Friday weekend (descriptions below), including numerous requests to make them available for sale. Well gosh! Since we have some left over, we decided to LET THE SPICE FLOWWWW, which means that any order placed TODAY thru January 2nd will receive all three of them -- even if you already got them before. This is truly a "while supplies last" situation, so we wanted to keep the announcement fans-only until Monday. At that point we'll put it on blast and clear out whatever's left. By this point in the year, thanks begin to sound redundant, but we honestly could not have pulled off everything we managed in 2019 without the help of this community. Our hats (figurative as well as literal) are off to you! Those scents again: IN NECESSARIIS UNITAS “In essential things, unity.” A perfume to strengthen our bonds to one another for support in trying times: sweet patchouli, oakmoss, red oud, guiac wood, mahogany, and honeyed vetiver. IN DUBIIS LIBERTAS “In doubtful things, liberty.” A perfume that celebrates civil rights, true justice, and freedom from authoritarianism: golden amber, smoked vanilla, benzoin, and blue cypress. IN OMNIBUS CARITAS “In all things, love.” A perfume of compassion, respect, and empathy for our fellow humans, and for the land itself and all the creatures that call it home: honey and mallow flower, sugar cane, white sandalwood, orris, and vanilla bean.
  6. Failmingo

    NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW

    How could we not??? NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW "A burst of sunlight dissolving the smoke-thick thunderclouds of corruption, hubris, greed, and cruelty: golden amber, sweet bergamot, fresh cut grass, broom flower, hay, orange blossom honey, labdanum, red benzoin, and vanilla." Proceeds benefit the ACLU! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/activism/i-know-words-i-have-the-best-words/no-one-is-above-the-law-perfume-oil/
  7. Big day, I know. I know! But here we are with four INCREDIBLE contributions to Sphere + Sundry's "Jupiter In Sagittarius" collection of ritual components, which is accompanied by lots of fascinating insights into the benefits and drawbacks that astrological timing can impose on your ceremonial work. The whole kit can be found right here: https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/jupiter-in-sagittarius/ JUPITER'S FAVOR "An oil of good fortune, success, triumph, and benevolence. Parsley seed essential oil (Petroselinum sativum), grains of paradise (Aframomum melegueta), fennel essential oil (Foeniculum vulgare), bronze fennel from the TAL garden (Foeniculum vulgare), peppermint essential oil and leaves from the TAL garden (Mentha piperita), bay leaf from the TAL garden (Laurus nobilis), wildcrafted bay laurel essential oil (Laurus nobilis), steam-distilled liquidambar (Liquidambar styraciflua), juniper berry essential oil (Juniperus communis), frankincense essential oil (Boswelia serrata), and amethyst chips washed in juniper hydrosol." REPERIO "An oil to support education, enhance scholarship and insight, and spark discovery. This oil enhances the speed at which you absorb information and aids you in retaining and processing data. Peppermint essential oil and leaves from the TAL garden (Mentha piperita), clary sage essential oil (Salvia sclarea), rosemary essential oil (Rosmarinus officinalis) and rosemary leaves and flowers from the TAL garden (Rosmarinus officinalis), anise seed essential oil (Pimpinella anisum), Sicilian lemon essential oil (Citrus limon (L.) Burm.f.) and lemon peel from the TAL garden (Citrus limon), cedar berries (Juniperus monosperma), cedar leaf (Thuja plicata), Atlas cedar essential oil (Cedrus atlantica), lemongrass from the TAL garden (Cymbopogon citratus), bay leaf from the TAL garden (Laurus nobilis), and citrine chips washed in whiskey." THE AGORA "A Jupiterian blend for merchants, business owners, craftspeople, and everyone that hustles in the marketplace. It is an oil crafted to expand your reach, increase sales, attract clients, and retain – joyfully – the clients you already have. The Agora is an oil of commerce, of prosperity, of increase and fecundity – of blessings bestowed on faithful merchants by Magnanimous, Commanding Zeus, He Who Nourishes – and of all the good that can be done to support yourself, your family, and your community through the expansion and support of ethical trade. O holy blessed father, hear my prayer, disperse the seeds of life-consuming care. Irish moss (Chondrus crispus), organic chocolate mint essential oil (Mentha piperita chocolat), sassafras leaf and bark (Sassafras albidum), grains of paradise (Aframomum melegueta), benzoin resinoid (Styrax tonkinensis), essential oils from cinnamon bark and leaf (Cinnamomum verum), clary sage essential oil (Salvia sclarea), terebinth essential oil (Pinus palustris), Jamaican bay rum (Pimenta racemose), organic caraway seed (Carum carvi), whole allspice and allspice essential oil (Pimenta dioica), cinnamon powder (Cinnamomum verum), dark vegetal musk, and lapis chips washed in whiskey infused with bay leaves." JUPITER'S LAUGHTER "This is an oil of good humor, optimism, and creativity. It will help bring joy where there is sorrow, and will burn through cynicism, pessimism, and despair like a lightning bolt. Jupiter’s Laughter is a catalyst for creativity in all endeavors, especially when you are trying to push past a block caused by melancholy, confidence issues, sorrow, or ennui. It is a great oil to use prior to events to maximize your charisma and your openness to friendship and connection, and to enhance the pleasure you receive from socializing. This oil has a side-effect of making good jokes funnier, and it enhances your ability to deliver a punchline. Go figure. Io Jupiter, Heavenly Protector, Thundering Benefactor, He Who Takes Part in the Banquets, He Who is Conquered By None. I bet you have a hell of a cosmic belly-laugh. Peppermint essential oil and leaves from the TAL garden (Mentha piperita), passion flower from the TAL garden (Passiflora incarnata), organic vanilla beans and bourbon vanilla absolute (Vanilla planifolia), organic rosehips (Rosa rubiginosa), rose absolute (Rosa damascena), carnation petals from the TAL garden (Dianthus caryophyllus), blood orange essential oil (C aurantium var dulce), lemon myrtle essential oil (Backhousia citriodora), frankincense essential oil (Boswellia serrata) and tears (Boswellia papyrifera), sweet orange essential oil (Citrus sinensis), ylang ylang essential oil (Cananga odorata), cold-pressed mandarin essential oil (Citrus reticulata), honey absolute (Apis mellifera), Atlas cedar essential oil (Cedrus atlantica), bay laurel essential oil and leaves from the TAL garden (Laurus nobilis), and amethyst chips washed in a combination of orange hydrosol and carnation petals."
  8. AEVUM The state between the timelessness of the gods and the existence of the mortal, an improper eternity. 13-year aged patchouli, incense smoke, burgundy tar oudh, teakwood, scorched driftwood, and clove. A limited edition imp blend by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, exclusively for Haute Macabre, our gift to you with every order placed in the Haute Macabre Shop, while supplies last.
  9. Lots to love in today's update, including a special unveiling of our new Unemployed Philosophers Guild collaboration! Recapped below are our Lunacy offerings (plus 13!), a set of Yuletide beard oil blends. ++ UNEMPLOYED PHILOSOPHERS GUILD https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/the-unemployed-philosophers-guild/ HYPATIA "Rose water and a mineralic, star-dappled blend of white musk, crystalline amber, and sweet oud." JOHN LOCKE "A blend of 17th century grooming products and some Sexy Virgo Philosopher Leather Action: lavender pomade, a splash of Carmelite water, tonka bean, and a well-worn strop." SOCRATES "Inspired by anointing oils used in the philosopher’s time after partaking in public baths: orris root, ambergris accord, frankincense, olive blossom, black fig, and marjoram." ARISTOTLE Beard Oil "Oman frankincense, Greek sage, and white juniper." ++ YULE BEARD OILS https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2019/yule-beard-oil/ ANTE LUCIFERUM GENITUS A radiant waft of incense: Oman frankincense, myrrh, ambrette seed, tobacco leaf, and red sandalwood. BLAM Smells like falling face first into a Christmas tree farm at the onset of winter. COAL You’ve been bad. Really, really bad. Sooty black pepper, black patchouli, leather, and cacao. EGG NOG Sweet brandy, dark rum, heavy cream, sugar, and a dash of nutmeg. FRANKINCENSE & TEREBINTH A deep, shadowy heady green incense. KRAMPUS Be good, or Krampus will toss you in a river! Sinister red musk, black leather, dusty rags, and wooden switches. GINGERBREAD & MYRRH Incense wafting through a gingerbread maze. ++ FRIDAY THE 13th https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-2/ 13 "I am exhausted by current events and worldwide so this 13 is just the warmest, cheeriest goddamn thing I could come up with right now. I need cheering, and dollars to donuts, you probably do, too. Five chocolates, ranging from sweet to smoky, with white sugar, brown sugar, cardamom, coconut, vanilla marshmallow, hazelnut, candied pralines, and Madagascar vanilla." ++ A LITTLE LUNACY https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/cold-moon-2019-perfume-oil/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/cold-moon-tee/ COLD MOON The Full Moon that shines over the frost-rimed heart of winter. Traditional lunar oils combined with glittering snow flowers, chilly herbs, soft breezes and frozen ferns. ++ DUETS https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/duets-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ RASPBERRY AND RED BENZOIN A tart, strange incense. JONQUIL & POET'S NARCISSUS A gentle, stirring, eloquent perfume. CHAMPA & MYRRH A shadowed temple. VIOLET & PALE WOODS Dry, soft, and sorrowful. WHITE GARDENIA & VANILLA CREAM Sweetly triumphant.
  10. Valley ghouls: the Lab will have a table at this Artisan Holiday Bazaar in Van Nuys this Sunday. Stop by and say hi!
  11. THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER Pumpkin egg-nog served in a skull, next to a steaming slab of gingerbread. Label art by Drew Rausch! ^^^Want your very own bottle of this exclusive seasonal perfume blend? Donate to our toy drive for Children's Hospital Los Angeles and that's exactly what will happen! Their list of desired items (linked here) is very detailed, and for good reason: they're trying to minimize waste and make sure kids get gifts they'll truly love. So we'd love to underscore their request for gift cards, and we'll also accept cash to hand over to them. Any donation worth $20 or more will net you a free bottle of THERE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER. Everybody wins! Preferred Gift Cards: Amazon: $25 increments Target: $25 increments Movie Theaters: Regal, Edwards, AMC, Fandango Donate here on Saturday the 14th, between 5-9pm: BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB 12120 Sherman Way, North Hollywood CA, 91605 ❄️ RSVP and invite friends here ❄️
  12. Failmingo

    It's Small Business Saturday!

    We're overjoyed that "Support small businesses!" is such a common refrain in the days after Thanksgiving, and that we end up on so many people's shopping list. We wanna spread the love by sharing this list of all our retail partners, each of whom offers SO MUCH MORE than just our perfume collaborations. And many of them are running their own special deals this weekend! In no particular order: 💀 Haute Macabre 💀 Dark Delicacies 💀 blood milk jewelry 💀 Mütter Museum of The College of Physicians of Philadelphia 💀 Century Guild 💀 Gothic Renaissance 💀 Sphere + Sundry 💀 Pretty Indulgent 💀 Loved To Death 💀 October 💀 Ritualcravt Thank you all for helping us build this network of bright, talented, industrious people to pool resources with. We hope you'll keep looking for small biz options throughout the entire gift-giving season!
  13. Bad news, friends: This year the USPS shrunk their window guaranteeing international shipment in time for Christmas, and the new cutoff date they just handed us, December 1st, falls on a Sunday during a holiday weekend. What that means is that we've already effectively PASSED the date when we can ship out International orders in time. We're fuming, but apart from starting our own postal service, there's nothing we can do about it. We're terribly sorry it worked out this way. Please keep that in mind as Yules and other products hit the site. If you want to try and hazard it anyway, we'll be doing our best to get everything out of the Lab and into the postman's hands with the tightest turnaround possible, but... you know the drill. EDITED TO ADD: if you are an international customer and you place an order today or tomorrow, you may be able to get it in time for Christmas provided that you didn't order anything from the Yule update. Orders containing our GC or previous LE's should be able to go out in time, but we cannot guarantee it. In the meantime, please remember that our gift certificates are generated online and sent over email, so you can still give the gift of BPAL literally anywhere in the world. (US friends, don't panic: our domestic shipping cutoff date is DEC 15TH .)
  14. What follows is a BLACK FRIDAY shopping announcement! Firstly, thank you for using your hard-earned dollars to support small businesses. It's no exaggeration to say that for many of us, what happens in the next month will determine the entire year to come. Every order placed on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Whatever Sunday, or Cyborg Monday will be blessed with all three of the following imps — exclusive perfume blends inspired by a famous Latin phrase that we hope will carry you through the season. IN NECESSARIIS UNITAS "In essential things, unity." A perfume to strengthen our bonds to one another for support in trying times: sweet patchouli, oakmoss, red oud, guiac wood, mahogany, and honeyed vetiver. IN DUBIIS LIBERTAS "In doubtful things, liberty." A perfume that celebrates civil rights, true justice, and freedom from authoritarianism: golden amber, smoked vanilla, benzoin, and blue cypress. IN OMNIBUS CARITAS "In all things, love." A perfume of compassion, respect, and empathy for our fellow humans, and for the land itself and all the creatures that call it home: honey and mallow flower, sugar cane, white sandalwood, orris, and vanilla bean.
  15. Over the weekend, Dark Delicacies unveiled the two new Lace perfume blends we created to celebrate the store's 25th anniversary. We're blessed to have remained so close to this institution in the horror community, and hope to spend many more years silvering alongside them. These blends, DARK LACE and SILVER LACE, are available exclusively from Dark Delicacies! https://www.darkdel.com/store/c10/BLACK_PHOENIX_ALCHEMY_LAB.html DARK LACE Happy 25th anniversary, Dark Delicacies! Your contributions to horror are beyond measure. Del and Sue, your kindness, generosity, humor, and passion is a gift to all. You are amazing human beings, true friends, and the best grandparents that a little ghoul could ask for. Thank you for everything; Dark Delicacies truly is the Home of Horror, and all of us in the horror community are in your debt. Twelve years ago, we created our first Lace scent for Dark Delicacies, Black Lace. This is a homage to that first scent - sugar-spun vanilla cream cotton, stained by tobacco and incense, Indian musk, and drops of cognac - sharpened with the incense of a hundred Hammer films, a handful of soil from Dracula’s homeland, a creep of crypt moss, and a dash of mummy bitumen. SILVER LACE Not only is silver the traditional 25th anniversary gift, but it has deep, shiny roots in horror – from the silver that scorches vampires to the bullets that take werewolves down. Silver is the gleam of a goth’s ankh, silver is the sliver of the fog-shrouded moon. This Lace is cool and metallic, gleaming and liminal, sharp and fanged, with bitter black vanilla husk, bourbon tobacco, white cognac, juniper berry, white musk, ti leaf, and Italian bergamot.
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