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Failmingo

Lab Staff
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

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  • Location
    New York City
  • Country
    United States

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    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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    tomblunt

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  • Chinese Zodiac Sign
    Ram
  • Western Zodiac Sign
    Aries

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  1. Failmingo

    LONG NIGHT MOON Lunacy is Live!

    Thanks for waiting patiently for our Lunacy release while we busied ourselves with surviving both the holidays AND the death rattle of 2020. We're officially ready to go all night long with you, via LONG NIGHT MOON and its coterie of attendant Lunacy perfume blends! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/December-2020/ LONG NIGHT MOON "The nights are at their longest, the sky is at its darkest. The air is still with reflective silence. A bouquet of night-blooming flowers, petals dusted with frost. Cereus, orris butter, moonflower accord, night phlox, honeysuckle, jonquil, silver thyme, white mint, and blue musk. Here’s hoping that as of January 20, 2021 our long night is finally over." This label artwork also available as a tee shirt design! This month's Ménage à Trois blends: 🥉 TONKA BEAN, BLACK TEA, AND VETIVER 🥉 BLACK AMBER, OAKMOSS, AND TEREBINTH 🥉 CYPRESS, EUCALYPTUS, AND BIRCH TAR 🥉BEESWAX, AMBER, AND STAR JASMINE 🥉 WILD FIG, BLACKCURRANT, AND NEROLI And from Twilight Alchemy Lab: SOFT REBOOT A purifying blend crafted to help you release old patterns, sever problematic connections, and clear your cache of unwanted and corrupted data. Delete all the apps that no longer serve you: copal, white sandalwood, sage, frankincense, elemi, lavender, palo santo, salt, and nutmeg.
  2. Failmingo

    Last Call for Trump Scents!

    Time to turn over a new leaf! As of Inauguration Day, we will be pulling all of the Trump-related Activism scents from our site. This category of perfumes raising funds for worthy causes will continue to grow, but in the meantime we want to be left with as few direct reminders of this evil, bungling madman as possible. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/activism/ Below is the full list. 🤡 Alternative Facts 🤡 Fake News 🤡 Impeachment 🤡 National Emergy 🤡 Sustained Boos 🤡 Being Like, Really Smart 🤡 Covfefe 🤡 I Want Nothing 🤡 No One is Above the Law 🤡 Sinkhole 🤡 Very Stable Genius Truly a series of fascinating items for collectors! The era of American politics when gothic perfumers took on the role of insult comic, using a President’s own words (or in some cases, “words”) against him as a way to funnel proceeds directly to orgs that stood a chance of countering his cruel policies. And as an added bonus, most of them smell terrific! Thank you so much to helping us with these efforts, including sharing our posts about them. Many thousands were donated over the past four years, and it has forever transformed our view of what we can accomplish as scrappy, angry, freedom-loving weirdos. We promise to carry that forward into future fights.
  3. The time has come to say goodbye to our licensed HELLBOY (2019) products! Our license is ending, and as of 1/1/2021 we will no longer be offering them on our site. That includes HELLBEARD, one of the Lab's most popular beard oil blends! Just a note in case you want to include any of these products with your Winter 2020 orders. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/hellboy-the-movie/ Our original HELLBOY scents, licensed through the comic, will remain for the foreseeable future.
  4. Failmingo

    WINTER 2020 ❄️ New Perfumes

    Late to our own party, as usual! But we have arrived right ahead of 2020's darkest day to offer these new perfume blends to carry you through many a season: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/winter-2020/ ❄️ WINTER 2020 General Catalog ❄️ GINGERBREAD MONSTERS - A horrifying treat, featuring art by Drew Rausch! ❄️ WINTER DUETS - Seasonal scent notes artfully entwined together ❄️ LUX BRUMALIS - Perfumes inspired by painted winter scenes
  5. Failmingo

    Preview of Winter 2020 Scents!

    We aim to release our Winter 2020 perfume collection this weekend! In the meantime, me n' Galen are here with a preview of coming attractions: GINGERBREAD MONSTERS, a series of scents (featuring label art by Drew Rausch!) that deliciously bridge the gap between the Halloween and Yule seasons. Coming soon, to a fireplace near you! We'll update again when we have a link to the whoooole damned thing. Discussed in this video: 🥛 GHOST MILK "Goat’s milk, marshmallow fluff, vanilla cashmere, honey dust, and white chocolate." 🥛 GINGERBREAD INVISIBLE MAN "Champagne-soaked gingerbread, candied ginger, lemon, and white sugar." 🥛 GINGERBREAD MUMMY "Gingerbread wrapped in bourbon vanilla, white sandalwood, and marshmallow butter." 🥛 GINGERBREAD VAMPIRE "Gingerbread, dark chocolate, cinnamon, and star anise." 🥛 GINGERBREAD WITCH "Gingerbread, pumpkin pulp, Arkansas black apple pulp, rosemary, and lemon peel." 🥛 GINGERBREAD WOLFMAN "Gingerbread, honey, molasses, pulverized chestnut, powdered sugar, nutmeg, and hazelnut." 🥛 GINGERBREAD ZOMBIE "Gingerbread, vanilla bean, peppermint, and milk chocolate chips."
  6. Just thought you should know our license for the Hellboy 2019 film collection is expiring and won't be renewed. These products will probably vanish from the site sometime in January! So if there's anything you want to try (or secure backups of) you might want to work that into any orders between now and then. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/hellboy-the-movie/
  7. Failmingo

    ❄️ COLD MOON Lunacy ❄️

    We figured it would be VERY grinchy of us to wait and release the new Lunacy perfumes after the clock had run out on those Black Friday weekend gift imps. So! Here you'll find a chocolatey COLD MOON blend – "a frozen chocolate confection" – as well as a Twilight Alchemy Lab charm and the following Ménage à trois scent combinations. Don't forget, the Lunacy artwork by Dan Santat is also available as a tee shirt! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-2020 🥉BLACK CURRANT, PATCHOULI, AND GRAPEFRUIT 🥉ORRIS ROOT, CARNATION, AND TOBACCO 🥉PINK PEPPER, ORANGE BLOSSOM, AND LEMON PEEL 🥉TEAKWOOD, MOSS, AND SALT 🥉BEESWAX, CEDARWOOD, AND BOURBON VANILLA
  8. We may be unpredictable, but we can be relied upon to release new fancies every Friday the 13th! In today’s drop: ✔️ The latest iteration of 13, our classic perfume-as-luck-charm which is only available through next Tuesday. ✔️ A lovely new brew called FOUR SEASONS ALCHEMY LAB. We’re easy enough to find: on the edge of town, located between the alehouse and the plague pit. Art by Drew Rausch. ✔️ A new category of fundraiser scents to help turn the tide in Georgia’s runoff elections. Proceeds from the GEORGIA ON MY MIND scents go to Fair Fight and Black Voters Matter. Art for these perfumes has been generously donated by Tanya Bjork. Enjoy, and good luck out there! 🍀
  9. Failmingo

    Down Dates for 2020 LE's

    Last call! The following Limited Edition perfume blends are on their way out, and any remaining stock will be removed from the site in about 4 weeks: FRUIT MOON VIGILANCE DOOMSCROLL BLOCKER DUM SPIRO SPERO (collection) WALPURGISNACHT (collection) HEXENNACHT Also, clearing out whatever's left of July/August MENAGE A TROIS: DRIED STRAWBERRIES, RED MUSK, AND BOURBON VANILLA SWEET PATCHOULI, LABDANUM, AND YLANG YLANG AGED VETIVER, CHOCOLATE, AND WHITE SANDALWOOD LAVENDER, WHITE CLOVE & AMBRETTE SEED TOMATO LEAF, BLACK PEPPER & HAY ABSOLUTE BLACK FIG, OAK BARK & BROWN SUGAR LEMON PEEL, MARSHMALLOW & ORANGE BLOSSOM SKIN MUSK, CREAM & HONEY DUST TAHITIAN VANILLA, MYSORE SANDALWOOD & BERGAMOT Thanks very much!
  10. Soft release! You heard it here first. (Sharing more widely once everything on the site is fully cached.) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/halloween-2020/ Here's what you'll find: 🎃 Halloween 2020 General Catalog - A fête of perfume blends honoring the season in scent 🎃 The Haunted House - Perfume blends for a year in which we became ghosts in our own houses 🎃 Pile of Leaves - New variations on BPAL's home-brewed "dead leaves" accord 🎃 Hallowenches Lockdown - These horror pinup queens are in quarantine too, and we've bottled their angst in a series of Hair Gloss blends 🎃 Smut-O-Ween - A Lupercalia perfume blend in a variety of Halloween disguises 🎃 Tote bags! We've got yer tote bags 👻 PLEASE NOTE that this year's batch of 'Weenies has arrived late due to covid-19 related production restrictions. Sadly, we will NOT be able to deliver these before October 31st. Thanks in advance for understanding as we make the best of an unfortunate situation! The same will go for our Yule/Christmas collection, so be prepared to do any gift-shopping extra early this year. 👻 Later, if you want, you can help us spread the word by sharing our official YouTube video announcement!
  11. An update on Weenies, and the challenging season ahead, from your local BPAL marketing demon! If all goes according to plan, the Weenies will arrive later this week. Yay! The collection is hefty, though the main release may not include everything we've teased. Boo! And as much as it pains us, it's important to note that we will NOT be able to ship in time for Halloween arrival. (If that wasn't already obvious by now, ha!) Without the support of a production staff, the past few months have been unbelievably difficult for those remaining on the team. Normally by this time of year, the staff is somewhat rested in anticipation of the major holiday crush. Well, that's just not the case this time. Instead, just to maintain "normal" operations, the remaining staff have spent the spring and summer working too many hours per day, too many days a week, through the months that are normally our chill period. We're heading into this season already maxed out, but the nature of our insanity dictates that we persist and give it our best shot! We're already working on plans to help shore up production throughout the coming season. But this is the first time we're attempting releases on this scale without our staff, and we apologize in advance for any irregularities as we try our best to keep up with the demand. Here's one easy example: IMPS. Everyone loves 'em. They love buying samples to test, and they also love getting freebies with their order. However, imps are perhaps the most labor intensive product that BPAL produces, and we're having a difficult time keeping them in stock for purchase, let alone to give away. I know the "free gift with purchase" aspect may be a huge factor in folks' enthusiasm for our product, or their justification for the expense, so it can be a bummer to open a box and not find any rattling around — especially if it's a hefty order. Please just know that if your box is lacking frimps, it's simply because they don't exist. The only hands available to make them were probably needed elsewhere. Maybe several elsewheres. Similarly, the hands typing answers to Customer Service questions are not available for packing orders, and vice versa. So here's my periodic request for folks to wait a little longer before checking in, or to space out your requests re: combining orders, if possible. There are many days when it's impossible to keep up with the email queue AND the order queue. Since many of the emails relate to whether stuff has shipped, it behooves me to ask for community help with this conundrum. On that note: while we are happy to combine orders to cut down on customer cost and reduce waste, please be mindful that when there's a lot of back-and-forth and follow-ups involved, this does gradually add up to a considerable cost on our side, in the form of labor. So. if you can afford the shipping on an additional order, just know that it won't hurt our feelings any to show a little extra support for the USPS during this difficult time. I'm also renewing my request that BPAListas not try to jump the queue by reaching out to Elizabeth and Ted via their private social media for questions related to orders and other work stuff. The burnout is MAJOR, as I'm sure many of you are experiencing in your own situations. We do not want the team to feel they must be available 24/7 or receive a steady stream of notifications during their few non-work hours. (You may pester me instead, in a pinch; I can't check on orders, but I will be happy to advise and save steps where I can, even if it's just to say "Please email Ted.") Is that everything? I had to scan back through what I wrote to make sure these restrictions didn't sound too imposing... but really there's nothing hard-line about BPAL that we're changing or asking you to change. Please just remember that a very few humans are doing their damnedest to maintain the continuity of this wonderful company and all its traditions, and that not ONE DAY goes by when we manage to do this without your help and love, in one form or another. Sometimes, it seems to me that we might be succeeding a little too well in keeping up a robust, outward-facing veneer that says BPAL is LITERAL MAGIC and that we're kicking this year's ass. We are magic, but we are very, very, very much being kicked. The disappointments are endless. And working this hard, for this long, it becomes impossible to overlook the failures and the opportunities lost, both large and small. So, forging ahead through the upcoming season is going to require more communication throughout our community, and some additional consideration as we all do our best to tend the flame. And that communication isn't just one-way! I'm including my email address below in case someone has questions they don't want to ask via social media. Thank you for reading! My heart is warmed to know how many people still care about the Weenies despite *waves hands* all of this. tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com
  12. Greetings, all! Haute Macabre has fully restocked their BPAL collaborations, available via pre-order through November 2nd. And they've also introduced a new addition to the treasure chest of offerings, available as a perfume and/or a hair gloss: IN THE SHADOW ROOM "Inky black pomegranate, blackcurrant, cassis, red sandalwood, ambrette seed and fossilized amber, pink peppercorn, and guiaicwood." https://hautemacabre.com/2020/10/in-the-shadow-room/
  13. I know you may be holding out for BIGGER NEWS, but this small new collection of scents inspired by timeless occult artworks is here to seduce you all the same! Created in collaboration with S. Elizabeth, whose incredible new book The Art of The Occult was also released today. The perfumes! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/ars-inspiratio The book! https://www.quartoknows.com/books/9780711248830/The-Art-of-the-Occult.html?direct=1 CIRCE INDIVIDIOSA Circe Invidiosa, John William Waterhouse. 1892 “The colors in this painting are so lush and beautiful that they defy description. I have always thought that tipping dish of poison, the shade of crushed emeralds and mantis wings, must be the precise color of our heart's blood when we are in the venomous throes of enraged, envious desire.” Salt-spray dotting an azure cove, its waters swirling with noxious poisons and venom drawn from dreadful roots: a cascade of blackcurrant and crystalline blue-green waters infused with theriac accord, bruised henbane accord, white gardenia, pear, cedarwood, emerald mosses, tuberose, and bitter almond. THE WITCH/STREGA The Witch/Strega, Angelo Caroselli, 17th Century “Look at this witch's face! You know she's going to be a cutting-clever one, uttering snarky-sneaky observations that make you both gasp and splutter with repressed laughter about mutuals you can't stand. I want to be her Facebook friend. She'd be a scream in a Netflix watch party.” Leatherbound tomes and rose cream, flickering flames of twin ambers, and a cascade of shadows: black oud, teakwood, black beeswax, 13-year aged patchouli, cinnabar, balsam, sweet labdanum, tonka bean, and smoke. THE CHOIRS OF ANGELS The Choirs of Angels, Hildegard von Bingen 1151-1152 “I always thought these holy mandalas looked a little bit like saintly Spirographs. Also: can you imagine peeking into the inner sanctum of a superfluity of mysterious nuns and discovering them lounging around, playing with Spirographs and Fashion Plates and LightBrite toys?” A radiant blend of three frankincense oils, white bergamot, crystallized cistus, lavender, angelica root, and fiery neroli. THE WISH The Wish, Theodor Von Holst, 1840 “I've always wanted to know what wishes are longed for in the dark-eyed gaze of this intense young woman. Myself, I simply wish to rifle through the box of baubles and jewels in the bottom right of the canvas. Maybe help myself to that pearl-tipped hat-pin.” An incense of candied smoked fruits, Oman frankincense, red oud, labdanum absolute, sheer vanilla, patchouli, red musk seed, osmanthus, and datura accord. ALTARPIECE - NO 1 - GROUP X Altarpiece - No 1 - Group X. Hilma af Klint 1907 “I was privileged to visit the ‘Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future’ exhibit when it was at the Guggenheim in 2019. The scale and scope of some of these visionary works were of such a breathtaking nature that I grew faint and strange; I thought (hoped, even!) I might be experiencing an art attack, a psychosomatic episode, a soupçon of Stendahl Syndrome. What made the afternoon complete was when my boyfriend's mother wandered into the Mapplethorpe exhibit and was a bit scandalized. not having any familiarity or context before doing so. All kinds of feels on this day!” A prism of sacred frankincense refracting a golden amber light into a spectrum of daemonorops draco, King mandarin, golden oud, verdant moss, blue tansy, indigo vegetal musk, and wild plum.
  14. Profoundly honored to contribute yet again to a Sphere + Sundry release. This time, proprietor Kaitlin Coppock has assembled a collection of ritual tools consecrated under conditions favorable to Hermanubis, "a psychopompic deity whose lore and operations are in perfect alignment with a Mercurial Eclipse of the Sun." So much to read and learn about that, at the link below! https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/hermanubis-ii-scorpio/ The BPAL/Twilight Alchemy Lab contribution: BALM OF HERMANUBIS "The bridge between life and death, between the conscious and unconscious, between the soul and the body. This is an oil to be used during the process of understanding life, death, and the spaces in-between. It eases the pain of grieving, opens doorways to the liminal space between states of being, and enables you to better understand life by confronting and embracing death. It is a scent of stillness and quiet, of standing in cool shadows. It is the solemn and joyous embrace of the beloved dead; you are not alone. Cypress essential oil and cypress from the TAL garden (Cupressus sempervirens), myrrh essential oil and tears (Commiphora myrrha), organic hops flowers and hops essential oil (Humulus lupulus), cedar leaf (Thuja plicata), cedar berries (Juniperus monosperma), western red cedar essential oil (Thuja plicata) and Atlas cedar (Cedrus atlantica), peru balsam (Myroxylon pereirae), and black vegetal musk."
  15. Very thrilled about the somewhat timely arrival of these, your October 2020 Lunacy offerings! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/october-2020/ FALLING LEAVES MOON - Perfume and Tee Shirt Today, as I rode by, I saw the brown leaves dropping from their tree In a still afternoon, When no wind whirled them whistling to the sky, But thickly, silently, They fell, like snowflakes wiping out the noon; And wandered slowly thence For thinking of a gallant multitude Which now all withering lay, Slain by no wind of age or pestilence, But in their beauty strewed Like snowflakes falling on the Flemish clay. - Margaret Postgate Cole A cascade of fading leaves against a backdrop of grey ambergris, grassy vetiver, carrot seed, fossilized amber, green cardamom, cinnamon husk, saffron, tobacco flower, and bay laurel. ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS 🥉 HIMALAYAN WHITE TEA, LEMON PEEL, AND GRASS 🥉 PAPYRUS, CARDAMOM, AND BALSAM 🥉 CEYLON CINNAMON, OLIBANUM, AND CACAO [Editing to fix this, olibanum was previously listed as myrrh -- Tom ] 🥉 RED MANDARIN, FRENCH LAVENDER, AND JUNIPER 🥉 LEATHER, INDIGO INCENSE, AND RED AMBER ++ TAL ROSE-TINTED MIRROR You are so beautiful. You really are, but it might be hard to remember that right now while we’re all slogging through the mire of the pandemic, the lockdown, and this melancholy isolation. Rose-Tinted Mirror is a gentle little pick me up that will help remind you of all that’s radiant about you, inside and out. There’s a sensual aspect that will assist in reconnecting you with the joys of your own body, and a heart-healing aspect that will assist you in pushing through your anxiety, grief, or fear so that you can open yourself up more freely to joy again. You are beautiful, you deserve happiness. Rose otto, red benzoin, mallow, amber resinoid, CO2 extract of orris root, balm of gilead, frankincense, honey absolute, and violet leaf. Please note: this oil contains honey and is not vegan. ++ BLUE MOON(S) BLUE MOON The spirit of the full moon is capricious, intense and passionate, yet still distant, aloof and cold. Luna herself governs glamours, bewitchments and dream-work, innocent wonder, transient pleasure and delight, the Moment, impulse, mystery and veils. The Blue Moon is one of her rarest manifestations, and this scent is formulated to encapsulate her most complex and profound nature: Mugwort and bay, for psychic sensitivity… Juniper, for divination through dreams… Orchid and galbanum, for complexity, wisdom and noscere… … with a potent lunar-charged blend of exquisite woods, moonflower, Madagascan ylang ylang, Florentine iris, wild juniper, starry bergamot, elemi, green tea absolute, palmarosa, cucumber, Clary sage, lettuce leaf, melilot trefoils, wood aloes, and pale creeping buttercup. LUNA AZUL Ted’s interpretation. The ephemeral romance, the fleeting affair: frankincense and blackcurrant, caramelized black amber, and motia attar. BLAUER MOND Brian's interpretation. A whisper under the moonlight: blue musk, and indigo amber, myrrh, moonlit oudh, opoponax, terebinth, and tobacco leaf. LÁN YUÈLIÀNG Lilith's interpretation. From the Littlest Perfumer: I’m taking Mandarin now and we’re learning a lot about holidays that follow the lunar calendar. This perfume is inspired by me thinking about how the moon guides our lives. It’s a little sweet and a little sour. Blueberries and white tea with sugar, lemon peel, and bergamot.
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