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BPAL Madness!

Failmingo

Lab Staff
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

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  • Location
    New York City
  • Country
    United States

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  • Gender
    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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    tomblunt

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    Ram
  • Western Zodiac Sign
    Aries

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  1. We did not intend to release a bonkers August mini-release, but... look what happened anyway! Recapping below: 🎢 The PLEASE SCREAM INSIDE YOUR SNAKE OIL perfume blend is our new happy place, by way of our old happy place. ✨ From Twilight Alchemy Lab, an oil crafted to help ease that darkest of impulses: DOOMSCROLL BLOCKER 👁 Two new perfumes inspired by Neil Gaiman quotes, featuring David Mack's SANDMAN art: THE THINGS WE DO MAKE ECHOES, and WHAT YOU WANT AND BEING HAPPY ARE TWO QUITE DIFFERENT THINGS. 🌄 A new collection of scents entitled WHO CAN FIGHT AGAINST DESPAIR, inspired by the haunting times between night and day. 🍌 FRUIT MOON is this month’s Lunacy, featuring a bananalicious label design by Dan Santat that’s also available as a tee. 👚 Speaking of tees! We’ve also got a new PLAGUE DOCTOR design, a BPAL logo tee, and a version of the PLEASE SCREAM design by Drew Rausch. You can now also buy stickers of the same design! 🥉 SIX new Ménage à Trois perfume blends to pick through. LAVENDER, WHITE CLOVE, AND AMBRETTE SEED TOMATO LEAF, BLACK PEPPER, AND HAY ABSOLUTE BLACK FIG, OAK BARK, AND BROWN SUGAR LEMON PEEL, MARSHMALLOW, AND ORANGE BLOSSOM SKIN MUSK, CREAM, AND HONEY DUST TAHITIAN VANILLA, MYSORE SANDALWOOD, AND BERGAMOT ♒️ PISCES socks! AQUARIUS socks! Socks on socks on socks.
  2. Time to talk turkey, BPAL fans! As most of you know, the Lab has maintained a General Catalog of perfume blends dating all the way back to its earliest days. These remain our most accessible and affordable option, since we also sell them in sample sizes! However, what you may not know is that many of these beloved recipes are among our lowest sellers, and have been for a really long time. As time goes on, it's getting more and more difficult to justify the expense and labor required to keep these in stock, or the space in our crowded warehouse to store them. And now that we can't travel with them to conventions as a way of luring new fans into our clutches, they are truly languishing on the shelves. DO NOT BE ALARMED: we have not yet made any plans to discontinue any of these scents! However, in the interest of re-introducing them to the public, and giving devotees an opportunity to stump for them, we have decided to launch a new 15 MINUTES OF 'FUME spin-off series. We've rounded up FIFTY of our lowest-selling General Catalog perfumes — many of them tied for last place in terms of number of bottles sold in the past year. The full list can be seen below! In BPAL's upcoming ✨TOURNAMENT OF UNDERDOGS✨, these bottles will be pitted against each other two at a time, and judged side by side to see which deserves to advance in the rankings. Nothing bad is going to happen to the "losers," this is all purely in fun! Each will receive their moment in the spotlight and hopefully put them on perfume lovers' radar again. Or maybe some things just weren't meant to last forever? Which perfume will survive all these rounds of combat, clawing its way out of obscurity and back onto people's perfume shelves? We shall know soon! *very evil laughter* As you can see below, we've released the brackets early so folks will have a chance to root for their faves! In addition to combing through the forum reviews, Galen and I will be searching the #tournamentofunderdogs hashtag on Twitter and Instagram to look for testamonials while we're filming these videos. So if you want to tell the world why they might enjoy one of your favorite perfumes, you'll have your chance! Who knows, maybe your input will break a tie vote. At the heart of it, this competition is just a tribute we want to pay to all of these scents: the work that Elizabeth put into crafting them, the memories they've become associated with over the years, and the way they helped BPAL grow into the community and creative juggernaut you see staggering before you. There's no way we could just discontinue some of these products without first exploring this history and giving fans an opportunity to weigh in. So what do you say, will you tune in and participate in the madness? The videos will end up on our YouTube channel, which you can subscribe to here. We'll also be posting them to Instagram, so follow us there. The TOURNAMENT OF UNDERDOGS will be officially announced tomorrow, and filming will start very soon! These match-ups were generated randomly! The first round of battles will be: 1. ROSES, PEARLS & DIAMONDS vs. RAKSHASA 2. MAG MELL vs. VICE 3. MACHU PICCHU vs. VIOLA 4. OBLIVION vs. THE GHOST 5. ODE ON MELANCHOLY vs. THE COILED SERPENT 6. QANDISA vs. SQUIRTING CUCUMBER 7. MORGAUSE vs. THE SCALES OF DEPRIVATION 8. MOSCOW vs. THE RED QUEEN 9. PRIDE vs. STRANGLER FIG 10. R'LYEH vs. SCHRODINGER'S CAT 11. MASQUERADE vs. URUK 12. LUCY'S KISS vs. Y'HA-NTHLEI 13. NO. 93 ENGINE vs. THE LITTLE WOODEN DOLL 14. PARAMATMAN vs. TENOCHTITLAN 15. QUEEN ALICE vs. SERAPHIM 16. MATA HARI vs. TUSHNAMATAY 17. NIGHT-GAUNT vs. QUEEN OF HEARTS 18. PRAGUE vs. SYBARIS And then seeded into later rounds: BLACK LILY HOW DOTH THE LITTLE CROCODILE DJINN BRUSQUE VIOLET LES BIJOUX KYOTODEADLY NIGHTSHADE HONEY BLACK LOTUS INCUBUSDESTROYING ANGEL BON VIVANT LONDON KABUKI DEATH CAP
  3. Here's an ANNOUNCEMENT related to Limited Edition releases such as Lupercalia, Lunacies, and other cool stuff we've kept selling throughout 2020. We've been thrilled to just keep stocking these throughout the year, and grateful for the extra sales. Hopefully they've resulted in many small enjoyments during an otherwise difficult time. However, as we stare down the challenge of preparing this fall's major collections — intimidating even during a normal year, night unthinkable without our usual production staff — we've decided we will no longer keep replenishing those products. We'll be letting them run out of stock, and there they shall stay. Going forward, every ounce of our energy must go into the Liliths, the Weenies, the Yules, and everything else that's on our calendar for the rest of 2020. We wanted to give everyone fair warning so no one would feel these had been unceremoniously yanked away. So, here we are celebrating Lupercalia in August... a sign of the End Times if there ever was one! We're lucky to be spending them in such great company.
  4. Hello everyone! We're still short-staffed due to covid-19, which means very few people are doing ALL the work. And that work needs to be constrained to the hours when they're actually working (so they don't burn out), and it all needs to be kept as organized and streamlined as possible. So if you're checking on an order, or have requests related to an order, or stray questions related our products or the Lab's ability to do certain things, the ONLY appropriate place for those messages is through the Customer Service email: answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com. That way the messages can be prioritized and dealt with properly, by the correct person. Please don't hit up Elizabeth or Ted on their personal social media accounts with your requests. In addition to those notifications landing at odd hours or during a time when they may be trying to relax, it also means your message may get lost in the shuffle, or they may not remember exactly where that conversation was happening. It also thwarts our attempt to organize and prioritize requests as they come in. So even if you see that they appear to be active on their personal social media, that is not an invitation to reach out there with work-related requests. In terms of "stray questions related to the Lab's products or our ability to do certain things," the Lab's social media channels are a totally okay place to message privately and ask. In which case you're most likely to reach me, Tom! And I'll be happy to point you in the right direction, even if that means suggesting that you email CS. It is difficult to convey in words just HOW MUCH work everyone is doing, or how all-consuming it can be. If you consider Elizabeth and Ted your friends to the point where you feel comfortable reaching out personally with work requests, I implore you to consider the cumulative effect of that, writ large across their entire social circle. It's just worth a periodic reminder as this wears on, and we all struggle to adjust to our new "normal." Thank you so much for listening, and for your enduring support! xoxox
  5. Today (which is Monday, for those just tuning in) is your last day to score our goaty HAY MOON Lunacy tee shirt design! 🐐 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/hay-moon-tee/
  6. Gadzooks! Our new lockets sold out VERY quickly, but if you sign up for the waitlist you'll be notified right away once we're able to replenish them. In the meantime we have some rare and unusual delights to distract you with. First up, this month's Lunacy scent, HAY MOON, accompanied by a label/tee shirt design by Dan Santat. "Hay absolute, tall grasses, dry honey, mallow, cardamom, amber, oat cakes, and wheat." Next, a sweet standalone release to reward you for making it this far into 2020! PLEASE SCREAM INSIDE YOUR HEART is accompanied by some possum-love by Elizabeth, and each bottle comes with a free sticker bearing Drew Rausch's unforgettable design. You're also invited to the following Ménages à Trois: 🥉 BERGAMOT, ORANGE BLOSSOM, AND VETIVER 🥉CACAO, BLACK AMBER, AND BLACK COPAL 🥉 DRIED STRAWBERRIES, RED MUSK, AND BOURBON VANILLA 🥉 SWEET PATCHOULI, LABDANUM, AND YLANG YLANG 🥉 AGED VETIVER, CHOCOLATE, AND WHITE SANDALWOOD Wait, did we forget to mention these new sugar scrubs by B. Perry Studios?? STRAWBERRIES AND CHAMPAGNE SUGAR DUSTED CHOCOLATE CARDAMOM TRUFFLE And finally, a new release from Twilight Alchemy Lab, VIGILANCE: "A protection blend that shields against curses, malocchio, susto, jinxes, hexes, and crossings, particularly those that attack physical and mental health. Please note: this oil contains trace amounts of cinnamon. This oil contains tulsi, angelica root, blessed thistle, frankincense, lemongrass, cinnamon, and fennel." Here's where you can find those out of stock BOOK OF THE DEAD and MORIUNTUR lockets to join the waitlist: Remember, the days are getting shorter again now with each one that passes. We're on the down-slope stretch toward longer nights and all of our favorite holidays. If you feel the urge to scream, please scream inside your heart! 🖤
  7. Failmingo

    Détritus Humain

    I just opened up my bottle for the first time in forever, and it was almost glued shut with sticky, gooey residue... so I knew this was gonna be GOOD. And it is! Everything I originally liked about this is still present and blended smooooth and mellow with time. UNGH! That is all.
  8. Failmingo

    New Locket Sneak Peek ☠️

    Coming soon!
  9. Failmingo

    We Wear The Mask

    I guess I will dive in and write the first review, since I've worn this nearly every day since it was released! In the bottle this is a staid and solemn lavender, with a mellow smoky quality that ends up seeming almost creamy to me -- that's probably the sandalwood. Or maybe that's just how the overall savory nature of this blend reads to me. I paused over the carrot seed, because while I appreciate the role it plays in the storytelling, it's just not a scent I find myself drawn to, or want to embody. However, it's VERY subtly blended into this perfume. I know the note well but I'm not sure I'd track it if I hadn't read it was there. Fresh on the skin the iris and wisteria notes step out and kind of sing through the grey lavender haze. Still doesn't read as terribly flowery to me, the smoke and lavender holding court. Reminds me of BLACK HAUS, except that blend's leather etc. is so distinctive that you'd never mix them up. As it dries I get almost a beeswax scent, that's still definitely the smoke and sandalwood uplifted by the thin floral notes. It smells very much of the natural world, in a way that's meant to tug at the human heart. Decent throw and wear length! While I know the concept of the scent isn't terribly romantic, it has a terribly mysterious and emotive quality that I can imagine accompanying romantic feelings -- the peril, as well as the comfort. Completely genderless, in a way I personally find very affirming. It's been hard to pick a fave out of this collection, I don't think I could have consciously done it, but like I said, this is the one I have ended up reaching for over and over. I can't wait to read other folks' impressions!
  10. Failmingo

    Update on CBLDF Fundraising

    We at BPAL were surprised and disappointed to learn this week about the events that led to Charles Brownstein's resignation from CBLDF, and have been listening carefully to further complaints and questions related to the org's ability to fulfill its stated mission, which is one we have supported eagerly in the past. In light of these events, we have requested to be removed from CBLDF's list of Corporate Members. We will be updating our site so that funds raised for CBLDF by various products will be routed to other orgs (TBD). In the meantime, proceeds from recent sales of those products will be held until we have fully updated our giving plan. Will post more when we know more!
  11. Today, BPAL’s own patriarch Ted is celebrating Happy Making Me a Father’s Day. Read his loving tribute to Lilith on the page for DIES PATRIBUS, the scent we just released to mark this occasion: “Lilith would eat cereal five times a day if we let her, so this is the scent of fruit-adjacent cereal with whole milk, a blast of vanilla bean, heavy cream, and fresh strawberries.” 🍓
  12. Along with this month's Lunacy, we're introducing a new ongoing series, TRIUMPH IN MY SONG: perfumes inspired by 18th- and 19th-century African-American poetry. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/activism/triumph-in-my-song/ Proceeds from TRIUMPH IN MY SONG will be split between Black Lives Matter, Black Visions Collective, the National Center for Black Equity, and the NAACP. This collection is accompanied by a message from Elizabeth about our goals as a company strenuously committed to fighting racial injustice. ++ A LITTLE LUNACY MEAD MOON "Golden mead fermented with gruit, nutmeg, clove, cinnamon, ginger root, sweet-briar, lemon, orange slices, and blackberries." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/mead-moon-2020-perfume-oil/ ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ 🥉 VETIVER, PATCHOULI, AND APPLE PEEL 🥉 VANILLA, CHAMPACA, AND GARDENIA 🥉 NIGHT-BLOOMING JASMINE, WILD HONEYSUCKLE, AND WISTERIA 🥉 FRANKINCENSE, BOURBON TOBACCO, AND TONKA BEAN 🥉 PINEAPPLE, WHITE MUSK, AND BLACKCURRANT ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB ISYCHIA https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/twilight-alchemy-lab/isychia-lunacy-perfume-oil/ This is a dual-purpose protection and anti-anxiety blend. As the saying goes - in a crisis, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else, and this oil is designed to help you calm and center yourself, protect yourself, and grant yourself space and clarity so you can move forward in strength to assist and support others. This oil contains ylang ylang, elemi, chamomile, and blue tansy. (Oh, and pssssst: SNAKE OIL is back in stock!)
  13. ALERT: I have been informed that the pre-orders for our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts will end tomorrow. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/sprouting-grass-moon-tee/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/milk-moon-2020-tee/
  14. Releasing our monthly Lunacy perfumes is still our favorite way to mark the passage of time! This month we have a Full Milk Moon swirling around somewhere over our heads — be sure to take a big sip if you see her tonight. Without further ado: 🥛 MILK MOON "A fertile scent, generous, life-affirming, and swelling with a sense of triumph, warmth, and abundance: sweet milk, golden honey, fig fruit, cedarwood, olive leaf, and dates." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/milk-moon-2020-perfume-oil/ ***Note that our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts are both available for pre-order. Design by Dan Santat!*** https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/apparel/t-shirts/ ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS 🥉WHITE SANDALWOOD, SAGE & BOURBON VANILLA 🥉GARDENIA, TOBACCO LEAF & OAKMOSS 🥉COCONUT, SMOKED VANILLA & FIG 🥉DARJEELING TEA, COCOA DUST & INCENSE 🥉FRANKINCENSE, STAR ANISE & LABDANUM https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ And from Twilight Alchemy Lab: ⚗️ WHITE ROSE An oil of peace, harmony, and reconciliation – a ceasefire, an oil of amity, a blend that restores harmony and nullifies household discord. We’re all in this together – and in many cases, really REALLY together – and this oil was crafted to help make that stay-at-home-in-your-face togetherness as peaceful and sweet as possible "Three types of rose essential oil, rose petals from the TAL garden, borage, motherwort, passion flower, lavender, sumac berries, coriander, and magnolia blossoms." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/twilight-alchemy-lab/white-rose-perfume-oil/
  15. It's time to ride! 🧹 The infamous HEXENNACHT (Witches' Night) of antiquity summons kindred spirits out of the shadows to take the biggest, juiciest bite out of springtime every year on April 30th. We've marked the occasion with a recurrence of our limited edition perfume blend. (Our video announcement below is convenient for sharing if you want to help us get the word out!) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/hexennacht-2020-perfume-oil/ "German fir and forest herbs, incense and bonfire smoke, broom straw, and the wet, glimmering scent of skin warmed by dance." But she didn't come alone! Accompanying this year's HEXENNACHT release is a small collection of nine brand new perfumes drawing from the same traditions, honoring the power of the oppressed to overthrow their oppressors through wit and guile: DIE ERSTE WALPURGISNACHT https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/die-erste-walpurgisnacht/ Remember, high-fliers: keep those broomsticks at least 6 feet apart! 🧹 🧹 🧹
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