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Failmingo

Lab Staff
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    475
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About Failmingo

  • Rank
    evil enabler
  • Birthday 04/07/1979

Location

  • Location
    New York City
  • Country
    United States

Profile Information

  • Pronouns
    Male

BPAL

  • Favorite Scents
    The Great He-Goat Baron Samedi Knucklebones The Knave of Hearts Black Forest Leopold Freiherr Von Tsemekwes The Hierophant and The Empress

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    tomblunt

Astrology

  • Chinese Zodiac Sign
    Ram
  • Western Zodiac Sign
    Aries

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  1. Failmingo

    July Lunacy is LIVE

    Now that CRANE MOON and the rest of the July offerings are here, please remember: in a week we'll be taking down Lupercalia, Yule, and all the other stuff we've been warning about for a bit now. Do with that information what you will! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/july-2022/
  2. Failmingo

    Lab Hound Fundraiser Scent 🐾

    Welp, we've just released a new perfume to raise emergency veterinary funds for the Barrials' littlest, Maggie, who is in trouble now due to complications from her spay surgery. Obviously the timing couldn't be worse for them; we're dropping a special LE in hopes that it will help ease this unforeseen financial burden. (As Beth writes on the product page, any additional funds raised will be donated to https://redrover.org/. Thank you all so much for your support during such a delicate time. And on a personal note, I'd like to request that folks give the Barrials some space to take care of things in this sensitive moment -- they really shouldn't be deluged with messages and notifications during their special gal's time of need. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/margaret-magdalena-muffinhead-perfume-oil/ MARGARET MAGDALENA MUFFINHEAD "Miss Margaret Magdalena is a chocolate lab baby so her perfume is a thick, smoky fudge brownie scent with a heavy handful of coffee beans. She has golden eyes with a hint of green, so I added a bit of caramelized amber and green cardamom."
  3. Hi friends, as the Lab's move to Philly is now underway, we're about to enter a sort of twilight period of production during which our chiefs are hustling back and forth, setting up one facility while breaking down another. This will affect production in a number of ways, some of which still aren't foreseeable yet. But here's one thing we DO know: over the next few months, Limited Edition releases such as Lunacy drops are going to be SUPER limited: instead of a finite window of time to purchase, there will be a finite number of bottles available to purchase. The reason why? Our blenders in chief can't count on being readily accessible to make more. So when they're gone, they're gone! You're also going to notice more GC scents being listed as out of stock, since there won't be anyone on hand to reblend if we oversell what we have in inventory. We WILL get around to replenishing and relisting these, it will just take a little longer than folks may be used to. As in, late fall or winter? Just trying to be realistic. (So, if there's anything you can't live without through the rest of the year, it would be wise to acquire it now.) Please try not to panic! It's just temporary, and they've been blending as much as possible ahead of all this back-and-forth travel so that Lunacies etc. can proceed as usual. But we can't think of everything, and we appreciate your patience as we sort everything out in real time. We'll be releasing more info soon about our bonus release of all the mistakes/experiments/archival products that we're letting go of in order to clear out our space and make mucho dinero for the rest of the move. Thanks, everyone! TB
  4. These new scents JUST went live, in addition to these gorgeous jewelry creations: https://www.bloodmilkjewels.com/collections/grief-moths-chapter-ii GRIEF MOTH "Dusty woods brushed by a stroke of bourbon vanilla, gaïac, raw green fig, black labdanum, and 7-year aged patchouli." GRIEF MOTH II "Rosehips and hemp with bittersweet balsam, mushroom, and patchouli root."
  5. Timed to coincide with the release of a new reissue of Peter's book! The new scents will go live Friday morning. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/the-last-unicorn/ I wanna add a note here that this run of perfumes (as well as restocks of the older ones) are no longer going to include original character artwork, but instead will feature a "main category" label. Nothing to worry about, we just want to be able to release these on the best timetable for our needs, which can include surprise factors such as component inventory that may dictate which ones we revive next, regardless of which illustrations we already have on standby. As much as we prefer having each scent look unique next to others in the collection, I figure people would much rather have these in hand sooner rather than later!
  6. Failmingo

    CANDLES Online Tomorrow!

    We're launching a bunch of candles online tomorrow morning at 9am Pacific. $25 apiece! Extremely limited quantity — when they're gone, they're gone. If you miss out, know that we will be releasing another small run of different scents sometime in the future. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/home-linen/candles/ 🕯️APPLE CIDER - "A crisp, bright, boozy cider." 🕯️APPLES AND HONEY 🕯️AUTUMN ROSES - "Petals blooming in a somber sunset gradient of russet, amber-brown, and blood red." 🕯️BLACK HONEY 🕯️PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING 🕯️SAMHAIN - "Truly the scent of autumn itself — damp woods, fir needle, and black patchouli with the gentlest touches of warm pumpkin, clove, nutmeg, allspice, sweet red apple and mullein." 🕯️BOLESKINE HOUSE - "Highland wildflowers, peat, decaying wood, and faded incense smoke." More candle info: Hand-poured in Los Angeles, CA! Our candles are crafted from a natural coconut wax with an lead-free cotton wick, and are generously scented with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab-crafted fragrances. Please trim your wick to 1/4" before each lighting. When burning, please allow the melted wax pool to melt to the edges of the glass before you extinguish the candle in order to prevent tunneling. We strongly recommend that you burn our candles for three hours at a time to help prevent tunneling, but please try not to burn them for longer than four at a stretch. (This is especially true the first time you light one up!) Coconut wax candles imprint: the wax has a memory of sorts, and will burn best and smell strongest if you establish a good melt pool straight off the bat. Coconut wax candles should never remain lit for longer than four hours at a stretch, and always let them cool completely before relighting. Please make sure your wick is always trimmed to a good height (1/8” to 1/4”), and is always centered. Once the wax has burned down to about 1/2”, please discontinue use. You don’t want to scorch the furniture or risk cracking the glass! Some stats! * White wax in black glass. * Natural, sustainable, paraben-free, non-GMO, food-grade coconut wax blend. (But please don't eat!) * Lead-free cotton wick. * Dimensions: 3 1/2" high x 3 3/16" wide, approximately 8oz of candle. Weight with glass: 1lb 4oz. Common sense precaution: Candles utilize fire in order to work properly, and fire can be a touchy element, so please do not leave your little hot wax fireball within reach of children, pets, or irresponsible adults. The glass containing your candle will be hot during and after use, so please use caution while handling. Do not leave our candles unattended, burn them in drafty areas, or leave them near flammable materials. Do not eat the wax. Do not use the wax for sexytime. Don’t play weird double dog dare games with open flames. Do not use the wax to make poppets of your enemies. Black Phoenix is not responsible for any unforeseen funny business; use the candles responsibly and wisely, please!
  7. Failmingo

    Lotsa Down Dates For Ya

    Not to "per our last email" you, but... per our last email! Below is a linked list of everything we're dropping after the next Lunacy. We're lightening our load ahead of the huge move to Philly this fall. Wanna help? Winter/Yule 2021 Lupercalia / Shunga 2022 February Lunacy Perfumes, including Five Paintings That Smell Like February March Lunacy Perfumes, including Five Paintings That Smell Like Fickle March Weather and Snake Milk Blacklight Reactive Posters And don't forget to stalk our eBay page, which Ted has been updating with all kinds of new (old) stuff!
  8. Failmingo

    DragonCon 2022 Peaches!

    We will be going to DragonCon! More details coming soon about how things will work at the booth, but I know you'll wanna see this list in the meantime... ++ DRAGONCON 2022 Price per bottle is still TBA, we are figuring out a lot of things at the moment. As we said above, these perfumes will be sold at the event and online, ONLY WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. CHROME PEACHES PEACH GLAZED DONUT WITH MANGO CHUNKS POMEGRANATE PEACH MARTINI PEACH ABSINTHE PEACH, COCONUT CREAM, MARSHMALLOW, AND NOUGAT PEACH, LEMON PEEL, AND SUGARED BLACKBERRY RIDICULOUSLY SEXY PEACH PEACH MILK PEACH-KISSED DADDY BY EFFY
  9. Our latest collaboration with Century Guild is a perfume that’s only accessible via their Kickstarter project reviving this 1893 artwork by Georges de Feure. FRIENDS OF THE DEVIL IN THE FLESH “Skin musk and white tea shadowed by smoked lilac, white tobacco petals, vanilla husk, elemi, and incense dust.”
  10. Craving new hair gloss options? We’ve brewed up something special for Ritualcravt, using scents previously crafted for them as perfumes. Exclusively available via their store and website! 🖤 https://www.ritualcravt.com/product-category/beauty/ RITUALCRAVT "A complex perfume devoted to Hekate, our shop’s matron deity. Formulated and poured by cult-favourite perfumer Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, this scent is genderless, earthy, and addictive. Notes of plants sacred to Her include: black patchouli, teakwood, white sandalwood, saffron crocus, tobacco leaf, aconite accord, ambrette seed, musk seed, Dittany of Crete, and yew." HEKATE'S GARDEN "Notes of honeyed patchouli root, tobacco absolute, saffron crocus, teakwood, and burnt cypress."
  11. Failmingo

    Roe v. Wade Fundraiser Perfumes

    Cross-posted from the forum! Hi all, as one might have hoped (or even expected) we have risen to the dark occasion of recent events with a new set of perfumes fundraising for the National Network of Abortion Funds: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/activism/sorores-genita-nocte-aigles-kharities/ As humble Lab psychopomp, I have two requests for you. The first relates to helping us get the word out: these are the kinds of products we're barred from paying to boost on social media, which means we can only reach a TINY amount of new people about them. Whatever and however you're able to share, we vastly appreciate the help! Word of mouth remains our most reliable strategy, and for perfumes raising funds for such an urgent cause, we really want to sell the shit out of these. As per usual, everything above the cost of production is donated -- and we have preemptively donated ahead of this launch, because administrative doors just slammed shut in needy people's faces all around the country, and funds are needed now. The second request relates to the social media posts we DO manage to make: we've been monitoring our abortion-related posts to make sure any gross comments are deleted, but sometimes a wave hits while we're asleep or otherwise distracted. If you see anything like this that you think deserves urgent attention, I welcome you to email or DM me so I can go block/delete etc.: tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com. There's so much hate and filth and jeering out there already, I would prefer to keep our posts free of that particular kind of unpleasantness, as satisfying as it may be to clap back at these miserable jerks. Thanks immensely! I know Elizabeth worked very hard on these scents, both artistically and in the introduction which explains as simply and clearly as possible why we're so desperate for everyone to care and take action. It's been a difficult few days but we are here, and 'fuming, and grateful to know how much encouragement we can count on the community in difficult times. TB
  12. Failmingo

    Important News: BPAL's New Home

    We just sent this out in the email. Wanted to make sure it was posted here too! It's been so difficult holding in this BIG NEWS, but it's officially time to inform the public: later in 2022, BPAL will be departing from our Los Angeles home and transplanting to the wonderful city of Philadelphia, where we'll be expanding into a larger facility. This will serve as a fresh start for us in so many ways, after 20 years of proudly establishing ourselves in our native city. In addition to the new friends and local culture that await us, we hope this change will afford even greater opportunities for growth as a small business and artistic presence. We've organized the upcoming move in a way that shouldn't disrupt our regular business too much, and will definitely keep you updated as events unfold. That's part one of the BIG NEWS. Part two relates to how you can help us fulfill this prophecy: as we're cleaning up shop in the months ahead, we'll be selling off all kinds of prototypes, backstock, fuck-ups, one-offs, and other rare items. Basically everything in the Lab! This will lighten our load considerably, as well as helping to fund the big cross-country move. More on this soon! While we can't answer every question about our BIG NEWS just yet, please trust that we'll do our best to anticipate the needs and concerns of our community and remain in communication as everything unfolds. We're especially grateful to our local friends and customers, who have been so generous with their support over the past two decades — which is why it hurts so much to say that for now, it seems unlikely that we'll be able to host another gathering at the Lab between now and our departure date. Each time we've gotten to a point where this seemed within reach, another plague-wave crashed over our city and sent us back to square one. This, combined with the challenges of entertaining at a facility that's being actively dismantled, could keep us from hosting a proper farewell. But we promise to explore other options earnestly in the months to come! In the meantime, we ask that you direct any inquiries related to our BIG NEWS to tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com, instead of writing to Customer Service or directly to our chieftains on social media. There's already so much labor happening behind the scenes to accomplish everything described above, in addition to keeping up with our normal production demands. We're excited to take everyone along with us (in spirit, at the very least!) on this exciting new adventure, and thank you in advance for your patience and well-wishes as we attempt the difficult, hopeful, heart-breaking work that lies ahead.
  13. Thanks for waiting! EVERYTHING is lumped in here: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/may-june-2022/ That includes three (!) Lunacy scents, plus Menage, snapshots of May, two Labors of the Month, two TAL blends, and a special mini-collection inspired by Poe's "The Sleeper." Whew!
  14. Failmingo

    Latest Lunacy Down Dates

    Hear ye, hear ye! A week or so after our Frog Moon/Strawberry Moon DOUBLE LUNACY launch, we're gonna bid farewell to any of the following December/January Lunacy items which are still in stock: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/december-2021-january-2022/ So update your shopping lists accordingly! 🍓🐸
  15. Failmingo

    PLAGUE UPDATE: Pls Read

    Well friends, it’s that time once again. ☠️ Due to an outbreak within our ranks, the Lab is currently operating at a VERY limited capacity, causing production and shipping to slow to a trickle as a handful of people attempt to do EVERYTHING. We ask at this time that you grant us extra consideration as you wait for orders or replies to your Customer Service queries. We are truly doing our best, but our safety and the health of our employees is our top priority; if you can possibly wait a little longer before reaching out to us, we’d be very grateful to have that pressure eased as we pick our footing through this (sadly quite common) dilemma. At this time no one is in any great danger, but we have to take every precaution before welcoming out staff back to the Lab. We appreciate your support and understanding even during these frustrating conditions. Stay safe, kids! 😷
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