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BPAL Madness!

Failmingo

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Everything posted by Failmingo

  1. Beth's contribution to Sphere + Sundry’s new Jupiter’s Bounty series is live! THE FULFILLER WHO WHISPERS WORDS OF WISDOM This is a perfume of sagacity and good counsel, and the prudence and judiciousness that leads to good judgement. It is a scent of stability, prosperity, and sovereignty – but more specifically, the creation, fortification, and nurturing of a kingdom that you build for yourself through self-respect and sound choices, the ability to govern your impulses wisely, and utilizing generosity, compassion and kindness as a means of protecting and expanding your dominion. This is a perfume dedicated to Jove. I will sing of Zeus, chiefest among the gods and greatest, all-seeing, the lord of all, the fulfiller who whispers words of wisdom to Themis as she sits leaning towards him. Be gracious, all-seeing Son of Cronos, most excellent and great! Initial preparation began on March 7th in Jupiter’s day and hour, and the consecration occurred between 6:06-6:55am Pacific on March 26, 2019. Peru balsam essential oil (Myroxylon balsamum), steam-distilled terebinth essential oil (Pinus palustris), pulverized organic fig and chestnut, handcrafted vegetal musk, blue chamomile and Roman chamomile essential oils (Matricaria recutita and Anthemis nobilis), hyssop essential oil (Hyssopus officinalis), clary sage essential oil (Salvia sclarea), blue yarrow essential oil (Achillea millefolium), valerian essential oil (Valeriana sp.), wild-harvested pinon pine resin (Trementina), chamomile flowers (Matricaria recutita), sarsaparilla root (Smilax regelii), wild-harvested cedar berries (Juniperus monosperma), organically grown orange peel from the TAL garden, juniper berries (Juniperus communis), bayberry root bark (Morella cerifera), crushed oak galls, organic rosehips (Rosa canina and Rosa rubiginosa), locally wild-harvested white sage leaf and white oak bark (many thanks to the genius loci of Los Angeles), and dandelion root (Taraxacum officinale). Each bottle contains a piece of lapis that has been washed in whiskey.
  2. Failmingo

    New HELLBOY Release!

    The cat's out of the bag: we collaborated with Lionsgate on a new series of licensed HELLBOY-inspired scents -- including our first-ever beard oil release! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/collaborations/hellboy-the-movie/ This is in addition to our existing Hellboy collection, which was a partnership with Mike Mignola himself: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/hellboy/ Please help us spread the word! Thank you, and may Satan bless you.
  3. UPDATES! GET YER UPDATES! We're going to be joined next Friday by bestselling writer and cartoonist KATE LETH — in addition to creating on some of your favorite comics, she also makes tons of wonderful stickers, pins, and other fun stuff. See the link! Also, we're overdue for our customary springtime tampon & pad drive, supporting those living on LA's mean streets who are experiencing period poverty. Your donation of products worth $20 or more will get you a free bottle of the following: MARSHMALLOW CHICK SANGUINEM MENSTRUUM "It would indeed be a difficult matter to find anything which is productive of more marvellous effects than the menstrual discharge. On the approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grafts wither away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits. Her very look, even, will dim the brightness of mirrors, blunt the edge of steel, and take away the polish from ivory. A swarm of bees, if looked upon by her, will die immediately; brass and iron will instantly become rusty, and emit an offensive odour; while dogs which may have tasted of the matter so discharged are seized with madness, and their bite is venomous and incurable." -Pliny the Elder The copper tang of blood musk, swept by a cloud of dying bees and red poppies of madness, drizzled over a freshly-microwaved marshmallow treat. We'll turn over your donations to Drive-By Do-Gooders! (Message me personally if you have any questions.) See you at our place, in whatever PJs suit the weather...
  4. Failmingo

    WHIFF LASH + MX. NOBODY Video

    We're chuffed: the metalheads we sponsor teamed up with the drag queens we sponsor, surprising us with this arty video ad for their respective WHIFF LASH and MX. NOBODY perfume blends. These are the moments that remind us how great it feels to be part of a vast network of creative partnerships, helping and inspiring each other. And never forget: shoes are just socks... with bones.
  5. Failmingo

    THE SINGULARITY Is Here!

    Behold, the future of fragrance! We fed the Lab's entire catalog of perfumes into a neural network, with the intent of creating whatever new products it spit back at us. The results are finally here, featuring eye-popping artwork by Drew Rausch. Dare you dab your pulse points with scents such as HARLEQUIN MILK, or BLOOD TWINKLE, or FOOLISH WOODEN CUCUMBER? Prepare to update your tastes accordingly — The Singularity has arrived at long last, unfurling a scentscape that's so very us... so very you... so very NOW. Heads up: due to a temporary site glitch (THANKS A LOT, HAL) you have to click through to page two to see the full category of scents.
  6. Unlike most April 1 announcements, these products actually exist! Below are three bold new releases: a new collaboration with dragsters The Nobodies, a Carnaval Diabolique-inspired edition of LAB RAT, and a new linen/atmosphere spray for that special mattress in your life. MX. NOBODY "Weed-smoke and lime-tinged vapors rising from a cauldron of green slime, suspended by cracked leather straps above the heads of an unsuspecting audience." CARNAVAL RAT" Eau de Carnaval Diabolique. The cumulative weight of dozens of scents — a cacophony of carnies, haunts, snakes, grindhouse dancers, and other attractions, all simultaneously clamoring for your attention." [EDIT to say: this run is limited to 200 bottles!] STREET MATTRESS ATMOSPHERE SPRAY "Dandelion sap, baby powder, ribgrass, spurge, and nutgrass squished into a poly cotton blend, poked by a rusty bonnell coil."
  7. Failmingo

    Snake Skin

    For he seemed to me again like a king, Like a king in exile, uncrowned in the underworld, Now due to be crowned again. A sinuous leather variant of BPALs Snake Oil. Only side-by-side with Snake Oil can I tell the difference between these in the bottle. It really was appropriate to name this after the snake's skin -- the leather wraps around the familiar blend like a sheath. And it's a grower, constricting slowly until it just might become the thing someone notices about the scent if they just happened to catch it in passing. It also nicely amps the woods in Snake Oil, which probably don't get enough love. If you have a man in your life who loves Snake Oil but it's too sweet for him to wear, he will probably be unstoppable with this.
  8. Get thee to Sphere + Sundry, where our contributions to their new Asclepius series will help you court the favor of the Greek god of medicine. Also features stellar products from Borealis Ironworks and Tony Mack! Here are snippets of the perfume descriptions: https://sphereandsundry.com/offerings/skilld-to-heal-mankind/ SKILL'D TO HEAL MANKIND "This sacred perfume contains hydro-distilled Frankincense essential oil (Bowsella carteri), hyssop essential oil steam-distilled from the leaves and tops (Hyssopus off. decumbens) and hyssop herb (Hyssopus officinalis, fossilized Himalayan amber oil (Oleum succini, dry distillation in sunflower oil), aniseed essential oil (Pimpinella anisum), clary sage essential oil (Salvia sclarea), myrtle essential oil (Myrtus communis), bay leaf essential oil and organic bay leaves (Laurus nobilis), white vegetal musk, Indian rose attar, organic sunflower oil, Greek olive oil, frankincense tears (Boswellia sacra), gum mastic resin (Pistacia lentiscus var. Chia), life everlasting flower (Helichrysum stoechas), Rose of Jericho (Anastatica hierochuntica), wild-harvested rose buds (Rosa damascena), yellow rose petals from the offertory bouquet, and ethically collected snake sheds." https://sphereandsundry.com/offerings/thy-vigrous-force-inspires/ THY VIG'ROUS FORCE INSPIRES "This sacred perfume contains hydro-distilled Frankincense essential oil (Bowsella carteri), steam-distilled Hungarian hops flower essential oil (Humulus lupulus), beeswax solvent-extracted absolute, French lavender essential oil and lavender absolute (Lavandula angustifolia), attar of jasmine, organic sunflower oil, Greek olive oil, organic lavender buds (Lavandula officinalis), organic hops flower (Humulus lupulus), frankincense tears (Boswellia papyrifera), life everlasting flower (Helichrysum stoechas), Dittany of Crete (Origanum dictamnus), yellow rose petals from the offertory bouquet, and ethically collected snake sheds."
  9. Sometimes the spirit just moves ya! That's how the VERNAL EQUINOX FULL MOON and seven SERPENT SPRING perfume blends came into being. Inspired by this particularly sweet spot on the calendar, we offer this bonus Lunacy scent and a clutch of spring-feverish Snake Oil variants. And don't forget, we're entering the last 48 hours of WORM MOON's availability! (You've got a bit longer to acquire the tee.) All the blessings of spring be upon ye! VERNAL EQUINOX FULL MOON A glowing gold lantern hanging low and large in the sky heralding the first breath of spring. Fossilized amber resin releasing a cascade of crocus and daffodil petals, glory-of-the-snow, graceful iris, radiant life everlasting, and a rainbow burst of tulip. ++ THE SERPENTS OF SPRING But, Snake, you must not come where we abide, For you would tempt us; we should hear you say: 'Oh, somewhere was a world was cold and spare, And voiceless; somewhere was a Being was not Engrossed with substance, with no fervencies Of love and hatred, and he made me, Snake! The wise Elohim, they who made the rest Of Creatures, made them ail-too manifold Mortised and rampired, jointed, vascular; And I was put an alien in their world, All head, all spine, all limb, all loin, Swift as a bird and single as a fish.' Above you fruits unglanced at bend and glow, And, bare and voiceless, you do tempt us, Snake! These scents were created over an unseasonably warm weekend in winter when I was overwhelmed by an urge to mess with spring variants of Snake Oil. 150 bottles were created of each scent, and when they’re gone, they’re gone. ALL HEAD, ALL SPINE, ALL LIMB, ALL LOIN Snake Oil and green musk, black leather, black amber, ambergris accord, sandalwood incense, and oily black musk. I WAS PUT AN ALIEN IN THEIR WORLD Snake Oil, mimosa, neroli, crushed herbs, and star jasmine. SNAKES BASKING IN THE FIRST SUNBEAMS OF SPRING Snake Oil, orange blossom, wildflower honey, and cinnamon. SNAKES IN THE LAST SNOWS OF WINTER Ice-rimmed minted-slushed Snake Oil and winter’s last snowdrops swimming in a small pool of melted sleet. SNAKES SLITHERING THROUGH STINGING NETTLE Snake Oil, nettle leaf, dandelion sap, mullein, and tea blossom. SNAKES IN THE LEMON TREE Snake Oil draped over lemon bark and vetiver, dotted with lemon peel. SNAKE EYES GLEAMING IN SPRING’S FIRST TWILIGHT Snake Oil and threads of pale lavender with shadowy oudh, sweet oakmoss, violet leaf, and rose geranium.
  10. Failmingo

    Etsy Relase: FIRST FRUITS

    Surprise Etsy release — a limited run of 120 bottles. The goddesses must be appeased! https://www.etsy.com/listing/691675503/first-fruits-5ml-black-phoenix-alchemy FIRST FRUITS An aparche for the Eleusinian goddesses: a crystalline, uplifting blend of white pomegranate, golden grapes, apricot, black fig, and lemon and orange rind.
  11. Greetings, earthlings! Our latest Lunacy collaboration with Caldecott-winning artist Dan Santat is off and running! Below are the links to the WORM MOON perfume and tee shirt. The scent: "Pink and wriggling globs of grapefruit syrup clotted with congealed moss-green blood, rotting coffin wood spattered with soil, rusting coffin nails, a shard of bone, decomposing organic matter, and a gruesome burst of overripe blackberries." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/worm-moon-2019-perfume-oil/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/worm-moon-2019-tee/
  12. Failmingo

    Lunacy Reminder: BABY GOATS

    Hello friends! Twice now, we've had Spanky and Pippin from PARTY GOATS LA visit for Lunacy events. This Saturday, we have a special treat: BABY GOATS, whose arrival on Earth has coincided with our March Hare Lunacy event. Convenient, right? They're only available for a brief stop-over during the last half hour of our event (which runs from 4-7pm). Just letting everyone know so they can plan their lives accordingly -- these kids won't stay tiny for long! Here's the FB event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/770816216629450/
  13. Failmingo

    Mardi Gras = PANCAKE TUESDAY

    A trio of scents released today, commemorating the tremendous festival that we're sadly NOT currently celebrating in New Orleans. Oh well, maybe next year! CITO https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/cito-perfume-oil/ THE PANCAKE BELL https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/the-pancake-bell-perfume-oil/ EXCELLENT PANCAKES https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/excellent-pancakes-perfume-oil/
  14. DRAGULA star Erika Klash is the latest drag monster in BPAL's stable! Here's her perfume, GAME OVER: "A coppery-clove, blood-tinged, cherry blossom-dappled blue cotton candy." The Lab's YouTube announcement:
  15. Hi everyone, due to some scheduled web maintenance, the site will be down TODAY, February 25, from 2pm - 3pm (PST). Try not to panic!
  16. Failmingo

    Last Call for YULES

    Did you forget to make your last-minute Yule purchases before they came down off the site? Well, here's some good news: we forgot to take them down, so you have until Monday! That link again: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/winter-collection/yule-2018/
  17. Failmingo

    SNOW MOON Tee Shirt!

    Hello, all! In addition to the NATIONAL EMERGY (sic) we declared just before Friday eve's Lunacy event, we also want you to know that the SNOW MOON tee shirt is live. (Here's a Trading Post link for ease of ordering solely from that site.) We decided that having Caldecott-winner Dan Santat's art for this year's Lunacy blends warranted a return to form -- the plan is to release his designs as tees throughout the year. You know what that means! Time to Kondo your black tee shirt collection and start making room for the glory that is to come. Happy Presidents Day, EMERGY notwithstanding!
  18. Failmingo

    Pleasures of the Imagination II

    White tobacco, leather, and white sandalwood. I wish more men knew it was possible to smell like this. Leather is nice and sharp right in the bottle, and then wet on the skin it is definitely standing on planks of sandalwood, with means pretty much any sweetness you're getting here will be from the tobacco -- and that's a great place to be! This is about as gentle a man-on-horseback scent as BPAL does, without getting into floral territory. Sure, dandies ride horses too -- but this one belongs more to the fellow who teaches them to ride (I like to imagine they'll end up hooking up behind the stables). He's clean, but he works hard for a living. You know? To my nose, the leather is the first to arrive and the last to leave, but it takes you to lots of subtle places along the way. If you want a dirtier leather, you'll want to try RIDING CROP instead -- it was definitely not cleaned thoroughly after use.
  19. Failmingo

    Not A Drill, Is NATIONAL EMERGY

    Yeah, we've rolled out a lot recently, but the one thing we don't have any control over is a goddamned NATIONAL EMERGY. We at the Lab are releasing yet another ACLU fundraiser scent, inspired by our nation's latest flirtation with autocracy. And we can't promote these posts on social media without running afoul of "political advertising," so please help us spread the good (bad) news! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/activism/national-emergy-sic-perfume-oil/ NATIONAL EMERGY (sic) "A four-alarm fire made of bold faced lies: bullshit-brown patchouli aflame with red ginger and pimento, sugared with the poisonous false promises of a racist autocrat, soured by hazard-yellow lemon rind." Proceeds from the sale of this perfume blend will benefit the American Civil Liberties Union
  20. It is our distinct honor to announce a collaboration with the Caldecott-winning DAN SANTAT on 2019's Lunacy perfume blends, beginning with SNOW MOON. A note from Beth: If you love children's literature, you must pick up "Beekle," "After the Fall," "Drawn Together, Dude!," "Sidekicks," "Crankenstein Valentine," or any other of Dan's amazing books. His stories aren't just for kids: they are moving, touching, heart-exploding stories for anyone at any age. Before we even met Dan, Ted had read "Because I'm Your Dad" to Lilith a bajillion times, and it never failed to make him cry. (Bonus: pick up a copy of "The Princess and the Pit Stop," cuz it's got Lilith's mug all over it.) You're tremendous, Dan! We know how much these bottles will be appreciated by devoted BPAL collectors -- and to those following Dan, who are in for some bold new experiments in scent.
  21. Hi all -- you may have already noticed that some Trading Post orders are being shipped by by the Lab proper. No need to panic! This is merely a step toward gradually merging these two businesses, which have functioned separately for many years. Relieving Ted's burden in terms of processing and shipping orders is an important step: among other things, this will free him up to work on developing new products! And gradually, BPAL and Trading Post products will be all be available on one website, making everyone's shopping/shipping experience that much easier. There's nothing especially secretive about these plans; we're simply navigating them in real time, and wanted to let our devoted customers know in case you notice anything that deviates from the way we've done things in the past. In the meantime, if you have concerns about your order, please reach out to Ted or BPAL's customer service, just the way you normally would. Going forward, new Trading Post releases will appear on the BPAL site, a la last week's Lupercalia update. Until all the older products have migrated, go ahead and order those through the Trading Post site. In the event that you purchase from both BPAL and Trading post, one of the two shipping charges will be waived. (You're welcome to make a note of this in your purchase.) The fact that we have so many people to notify about these upcoming changes is a reminder of all the terrific folks who've been following along with both companies since the beginning! Here's to bold new enterprises and exciting new smells. Happy Lupercalia!
  22. We're contributing to Dark Delicacies' relocation war chest with two stellar new Lace blends -- exclusively available through their store. Links below! SMOKE AND LACE "Brazen and beautiful, unconventional and daring. The scent of soft white leather gloves and the sharp crack of a riding crop mingled with tobacco, clove, incense, and opium smoke seeped into sugar-spun vanilla lace, all stained with green cognac, sweet dried red fruits, and wild plum." https://www.darkdel.com/store/p1383/Smoke_and_Lace.html CRINOLINE AND LACE "Cascades of vanilla cream and voluminous poufs of gleaming coconut with white cognac, adorning a phantasmagoric farthingale of white musk, tobacco leaf, tea roses, and elemi." https://www.darkdel.com/store/p1382/Crinoline_and_Lace.html
  23. Failmingo

    IT'S LUPERCALIA SEASON!

    It's that time of year again, and we couldn't be... stickier? (You'll understand when you get to The Honey Pot!) Here's the link: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2019/ And here's the video announcement our Media Team put together -- please post and/or share it on the various social medias! We want the entire world to know how tacky and hedonistic we are. YAY LUPERCALIA!
  24. Among many other incredible items, the new Regulus collection by Sphere + Sundry includes our HEART OF THE LION perfume blend.Those who wish to wear scent crafted with magickal intent, read onward: "Heart of the Lion is a perfume of recognition, accolades, and sovereignty. It amplifies charisma, courage, strength of spirit, and nobility of the soul, helps you to achieve your ambitions, and magnifies benevolent power. A dry, astringent, warming blend, it is perfect for warming others to you, reaching for promotions and acknowledgement of your achievements, dispelling despair and melancholy, and expanding the borders of your personal kingdom. This oil is your crown, scepter and orb; it is a radiant golden diadem of compassionate authority. Initial consecration of this perfume began on January 22, 2019 during the election in the hour of Jupiter, and it contains Egyptian frankincense essential oil (Boswellia serrata), mugwort essential oil (Artemisia alba), dry distilled fossilized amber oil (Oleum succinic), ylang ylang essential oil (Cananga odorata), white champa essential oil (Michelia alba), helichrysum, attar of oud, attar of Rosa damascena, golden vegetal musk, omubiri and frankincense resin, wild harvested Artemesia vulgaris. Each bottle contains garnet and citrine chips, and may contain plant material and resins."
  25. Happy Chinese New Year, piglets! Here's a new blend for all of you keeping lunar time — may it help confer every possible blessing in this, the Year of the Pig. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/earth-pig/ EARTH PIG A new year’s blessing! Peony, China’s national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, orange blossom and peel for happiness, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat for prosperity, King mandarin for good fortune, cypress for longevity, sticky rice cakes for abundance and hopes for a rich, sweet life, and a splash of blazing red of dragon’s blood to help you scare away the rampaging Nian.
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