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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 7,416 views
Eoywin's Blog
 

My Sad Tale of Love

No - nothing is wrong with me and Todd, things are great with us.   Since there seems to be a lot of relationship troubles on the forum as of late, I thought I would share my sad tale of love.   I didn't date a lot in high school. In fact, I went on a total of two dates in high school, being my first date (so boooring! The guy was too shy) and the senior Prom (same guy as first date, but so much more fun because we went with a group).   I had one boyfriend my sophomore year of college, who I liked. He was madly in love with me, and when I realized I didn't love him at all, I broke it off with him.   It was in my junior year of college (I think) when I met Adam. And I fell head over heels in love with him, though looking back, I'm not sure why I did.   Our relationship had more downs than ups, especially at the end. We had to deal with both our moms getting cancer, his mom dying of cancer (mine did too, though it was after we had broke up). After his mom died, we moved in with his dad, which made things get really bad in our relationship, because a trailer with me, Adam, his dad and his dad's girlfriend/fiancee/wife made things really uncomfortable.   He couldn't deal with his mom's death because he didn't believe in any deity, and he started to be a real jerk, even though I bent over backwards to try and help him.   We moved out of the trailer, and into a house where Adam's friend, Ted, lived, but things didn't get any better, he just kept treating me worse and worse, until I broke up with him, and my parents came and got me (it was summertime, and I was still living in the town I went to college in).   I found out later that he was being a jerk on purpose, so I would be the one to break it off. Pussy...   But I loved him, madly, and it took me nearly a year to get over him. We were both in my ex best friend's wedding, and when I saw him, I realized that he wasn't a prize and I didn't have any feelings for him anymore.   Funnily enough, that wedding was the first time I saw Todd (though I didn't think of Todd in that way, since I knew he had a girlfriend who everyone thought he was going to marry )   I was single for about 2 years after I broke up with Adam, and it was the best thing for me. I had a lot going on during that time with my mom dying and having to move back home.   When Todd and I got together, it was very weird. Ex-best friend and I joked that it would be cool if Todd and I got married, because then our kids would be kinda related (Todd and xbf's husband are distant cousins).   My experience with Adam has made me appreciate Todd tons, because he's a great husband (most of the time ).
Eoywin

Eoywin

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Is Anybody Out There?
 

I'm here again.

My mood swings are seriously impressive. My anxiety is even worse. I missed school because of my anxiety today, and this is significant not because it's never happened before, but because I hadn't given up, and I wanted so badly to go, and I just couldn't. handle. it. I couldn't. There wasn't a single thing that was going to drag me out of this house. I couldn't write my paper that was due today, and I didn't get to do all the things that needed to be done TODAY. Not tomorrow. Right now. Hours ago. There were things that I needed to have done, and people, I just could not do them. I cannot convey the amount of frustration and despair I feel over this.   I really want to be a better person. I want to think that I am continuously improving, and that I am going to be strong enough to live like a normal person and get the education I want and make connections and be there for the people who need me, but I feel like I am stuck.   My mom has been sick for a long time now, and they've been trying to figure out what is wrong with her- loads of tests, and they've thought repeatedly that she has internal bleeding, but haven't found anything. So finally, instead of sending her back to the GI specialist, she went and saw a hematologist, who ordered her into the hospital to be watched, because her iron and her red (?) blood cell count was so low, and they did an iron infusion and finally sent her home, and now we wait to see if she starts producing the blood cells she needs, or if not, what else needs to be done.   So I'm a wreck, and she's taking care of me already- she went out and got my medicine for me today- and she has no business really being out and about, but that's just how it goes, and I wonder if I'll ever quit being a burden to her and be able to start taking care of her. In fact, I feel that way about most everyone in my life right now.   I shouldn't be feeling like this. And all I can do is stare at my switchee box that has yet to go out and feel hopeless about THAT, too. Is that not insane? Seriously, it's not like it is out of my control to drive to the post office and have it mailed out. But right about now, I'd like to sit in my very own padded cell and rock in the corner... and that sounds ridiculous and overdramatic in my head, so I can't imagine how it sounds out here, but I feel so freaking out of control, and then I'll come back here in a couple of hours and be appalled because of how overdramatic this is, but it is really how I feel right now, even if I don't feel this way later, and.... yeah. My head is really, really unhappy right now.
smallvoice

smallvoice

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Eoywin's Blog
 

Sleet/Freezing Rain Day

Everyone is calling today a 'snow day' - but now there isn't any snow - it all was washed away by the 'wintery mix'!   This morning I get up, and look outside - there is a little bit of snow on Todd's but it didn't look icy, so I got dressed and went to work. The roads were fine.   Well, about an hour after I got to work, it started sleeting out, and kept sleeting. In my department, we were debating on what to do (my boss's mom and husband kept calling her, telling her to come home), all the higher ups started paging each other.   People who've been there longer than me (which is just about everyone), said that they were probably going to shut down because of the weather, which they did end up shutting the whole company down.   I nearly fell on my butt leaving work (it is darn icy out there), but the drive home wasn't too bad. I only slipped once, and that was when I was nearing home. The highway wasn't fun though, since semi's kept passing me.   So, it sucks because I only worked 2 hours today, but I'm glad I work for a company that puts the safety of their employees first.
Eoywin

Eoywin

2
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

More Grad Student Support Staff stuff...

I think I should just start using the acronym and save myself a bunch of keystrokes.   Anyway -- talked with D. tonight; as expected, I am absolved of and barred from any guilt for my decision, so naturally, I feel like crap about it.   It doesn't help that he feels guilty about putting me in a position where I'd have to say no in the first place. His words; see disclaimer under "Gloomy and Russian."   He did not put me in the position. CU put us in the position. It's expensive to board a dog who 1) needs thyroid medication twice a day, and 2) doesn't usually get along with other (adult) dogs because of pain issues from surgeries on both knees. Not if you're going to have her in any decent kind of kennel. It would be less expensive -- possibly -- for me to fly up; it certainly was when he was out of town over Christmas and New Year's, and he got a freezer full of homemade dinners out of the deal as well. The logistics were different then, though.   On the other hand, it is wonderful to have someone who respects and encourages what I'm trying to build. It does bring my Old Goat mentor's words to my Mom into sharp focus, though. When she met Jim, she told him how great it was that he had taken me under his wing, and that she was proud that I had become so passionate about something that had the potential to let me make money. Jim burst out laughing, got his composure back, grinned at her and said "Jane, jewelers don't make money. Jewelers make jewelry. People who sell jewelry make money. Jewelers have really neat rock collections." He's mostly right; a designer and bench jeweler who has talent, passion, and determination in equal amounts can make a good living, and I am determined that that designer is going to be me.   It's damned hard, though.   If either D. or I wanted to take the easy way out, he could have kept his old job as a DBA here after he got his Masters, and called it good. I could have taken my knowledge and experience to another storefront after Jim died. We didn't; D. wants to teach and do research in equal amounts, and I ...well, my little workbench might not be the foundation of the next Tiffany and Co., but what I build from it will be all mine. Besides which, Apple Computers started out in a garage.   There may be a way around the logistical problem, though. If I fly up the weekend before he has to be down here, and fly back the weekend after, I'd still be back in time for the show that I'm really the most interested in doing. And D. is planning on driving down with Magpie for Spring Break, because he is very, very homesick. If he made the drive on the Saturday that my show is, he'd get in about the time I finished unpacking the car after breakdown. The only potential conflict would be that Sinead the Wonder Weasel has a vet appointment the day after Hallmark Hearts and Flowers Day, but the housemate has the day off and can take her if I'm too busy packing.   R., the housemate, is going to put his l33t cyber-shopper skillz to work on finding cheap airfare, and D. will call on Saturday for my decision. C'mon; what do you really think I'm going to say? There's not a bookie in Vegas who would take that bet.   Now, I just have to screw up the gumption to tell my Mom that I'm going to be out of town yet again...
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Jack

Oh, I was positive that I was going to fall in love with Jack. Sadly, it wasn't so.   It started off sickly sweet pumpkin with something slightly sour. As it dried, it smelled like a bad too sweet pumpkin/autumn candle. It actually turned my stomach. I am so glad I didn't buy a bottle of this like I was tempted to.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Manilla

Wow, I'm starting to think that having a cold is messing w/my chemistry far more than I thought. I asked hubby if it was my nose, though he is picking up the same scents.   That said, I LOVE this scent. So far it is not fruity or sweet at all, but more tropical musky on me. I can't stop sniffing my wrists trying to figure out the exact scent.   I will definately try this scent again. Maybe a bottle if it stays this way.   ETA: I tried it in a locket today and OMG, what a difference! It does smell like a tropical island. Fruity, but true fruity, not the fake oversweet fruit. More like fruit still on the trees, green and lush with hints of flowers on a watery breeze. I really love and I will definately be getting a bottle!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Gennivre

Wow, this one took me by surprise. In the bottle, strong! Youch. On though it started mostly dominated by the tea, but as it dried it began to sweeten. I didn't really get much of the mint come through, though I did catch some of the lemongrass. Has a mild throw once it dries, although next time I might put a bit more on. This really is a beautiful scent and I am so happy I got a bottle of it. I think it will become of of my regular scents, esp. once the weather begins to warm up.   ETA: It smells even better after a couple hours. A perfect balance of flowers and tea, with a *very* slight powder scent. YUM!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Lick it Again

I never would've tried this if I hadn't gotten it as a surprise imp. I am soooo happy I did!   Wet, it was very pepperminty with a hint of creamy sugar (a bit cotton candy). As it dries, the mint rapidly takes a back seat to the sugar, which smells like a yummy, not too sweet vanilla.   I really, really like this. I'm going to hurry up and buy a bottle before it's too late!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Dragon's Milk

In the bottle: A nice warm vanilla   Wet: Vanilla with something sharp...I swear it almost smells like bug spray?   As it's drying, it still has the chemical sharpness. I have no idea what went wrong, but I am not liking this. I will give it a while longer, hoping it will morph into something I like, but if it doesn't, it's off to swaps. Or perhaps it might work better in a locket?   ETA: Ok, now the sharpness has faded and it smells like a rich vanilla incense. Lovely. Will try again.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Death on a Pale Horse

Wet: Very masculine cologne. Luckily it doesn't last too long.   Drying: Once again, smells different on each of my wrists. My right wrist amps the musk, my left amps the patchouli. The florals are beginning to come out, as is the sandalwood. Not getting any of the yuzu or lime. I think the lavender may be lurking underneath it all, but it's more of an impression.   It's a really lovely scent, though I think it might be better suited for hubby. Can't wait to try it out on him!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Hurricane

Didn't intend on trying this yet, but the Lab sent me a surprise imp of this. So of course, I had to try some and I got it all over my hand. LOL   At first it is very sharp and very masculine, but as it dries it's a mix of yummy aquatic and something green. I had thought this would be mostly for hubby, but I'm finding I really like it for myself too. Can't wait to try this on him though. I have a feeling I won't be able to keep my hands off.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Sea of Glass

I abolutely LOVE this one. It is just simply beautiful. Crisp and refreshing floral that does not turn out powdery or soapy. I keep sniffing it because it reminds me of something that I can't quite put my finger on, but comforting and exciting at the same time. Makes me think of sitting in a blooming garden catching the scent of the ocean air.   I will definately be buying a bigger bottle!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Dorian

Wet: A nice warm vanilla with a hint of lemon and musk. mmmm.....   As it dries the musks come out more. Yum!The lemon is still there, but just a hint and the vanilla is dark and warm, not overly sweet at all. I always hated vanilla scents because they were usually too sweet and made me ill. The lab changed that! I have finally discovered my love for vanilla. This is definately sexy and is going on my bottle list!     ETA: uh-oh. I'm getting a headache. I don't know if it's the perfume or not, but I think I'll wait on getting a bottle until I try it again to see.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Eat Me

I normally don't like food scents, so this would definately not have been a scent I would've tried if it wasn't part of a group of imps I got. But wow, I am glad I did! I was so afraid that it was going to have that sickly sweet smell, but it doesn't! It was sweeter smelling in the imp, but not overly so. Just pure cake and vanilla. Once on it dried down to a warm vanilla with yummy yummy currants.. And I'm not a big vanilla fan (usually too sweet for my taste), but I LOVE this. The throw is good, but not too strong and lasts a fair amount of time. I'm really considering getting a bottle of this.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Jolly Roger

WOW! Hubby tried this and I can't stop sniffing him!   It is definately a clean, refreshing aquatic scent with a hint of the bay rum and a slight woodsy smell. Not getting to much of the leather right now.   This is easily one of my favorites and will certainly be buying a bottle. I can't wait to try it myself!     ETA: I tried it on myself and at first I thought: still yummy but better suited for hubby. After letting it dry down though I love it on myself as well! I'm actually getting a bit more of the bay rum than on hubby (it's a bit spicier and sweeter on me) and on hubby it was more woodsy. The leather is very faint on both of us. And I'm catching some of the salitness which I really like.   I think we'll each need a bottle!
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

The Star

In the bottle and wet: LIMES. Wow. Almost a bit sharp. Just a hint of coconut in the background.   Drying: The limes begin to calm down and a wonderful coconut comes out. Not foody, but not too sweet. Very nice.   Dry down: The lime almost completely disappears and out comes this beautiful blend of coconut and warm vanilla.   This is a keeper and I can't wait to get a big bottle. This is definately a scent to wear when I need a pick me up. It is such a happy scent. Makes me feel very optimistic.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Snow-flakes

When I sniffed this in the bottle, I was a little...worried. It was very sharp. On the skin though the sharpness begins to fade and it smells like a minty aquatic with a hint of...pine? As it dries it softens and I catch a hint of musk. I really like this one and I'm glad I got a bottle.   ETA: Wow, I think my chemistry is really off. After a couple hours I'm catching a very slight tobacco scent on my wrist. More like pipe tobacco as opposed to cigs. I like it.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Purple Phoenix

Yum! Yum! Yum!   I love this scent. It's not as grape on me as I expected after reading some of the reviews, which I am happy to say. On me it's a grape incense smell with a floral hint. I can't stop sniffing my wrists because there is something behind it all that I can't quite put my finger on. I am definately happy that I picked up a bottle of this.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Persephone

After reading the desciption I was really excited to try this one. I love both of these scents.   In the imp it was very sweet fruit smelling, not much of the rose. Wet on the skin it was a very tart fruit scent, still not much of the rose coming out. As it begins to dry down the rose is beginning to show, but it's not overpowering, nor too sweet. Starts to balance out. A very nice fruity rose. Even if your not a big fan of rose scents, try this one out. It's very pretty.   ETA: hmmm....after a few hours it's starting to smell....not sure. It's hard to put my finger on it. No longer roses or fruit. Almost a little....stale? Old? Not sure.   A while later hubby said it smelled liike mothballs. ewwwww... I think I will still give it one more chance down the road, but unfortunately, I'm not holding out much hope. I thought for sure this would be "me".
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Red Lantern

At first it was way too foody, almost making me queasy. Luckily, that didn't last long. As it began to dry, the spices and and to a lesser extent the tobacco came out. Something sweet also, but not foody. Perhaps the black coconut? I'm happy I was able to pick up a bottle of this.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Obatala

In the bottle: Very sweet coconut   Wet: I catch a hint of floral and aquatic coming out. Very nice. Reminds me of the beach.   Drydown: oddly, it smells wonderful on my one wrist but on the other it smells a bit...plastic? I think I'll have to wash it off the one and try again.   Other than my one weird wrist, I really really like this. Assuming the odd scent doesn't reappear, I will be getting a bottle of this. What a perfect summer scent!   ETA: Tried it again and it made me a bit sick. It had this weird toasted plastic smell. I really wanted this to work, but sadly, no.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Caliban

This was actually the first bpal scent I wanted to try and I am soooo glad I finally did.   In the bottle it smells just like fresh cut grass. OMG, it is so yummy. I loved that smell growing up in Fla, the mix of cut grass and something wet. As it begins to dry a sweetness comes out and something floral. Also, a wonderful salty aquatic. I don't really get the wine, which is actually fine with me. It's very tropical and seductive. I absolutely LOVE it. Will definately get a bottle.
femmefatale

femmefatale

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