I made three goals to be accomplished in three months. One is to start leadership classes with the Grove; one is to make and post things on Etsy; one is to start a regular exercise program.
I talked to the HP of the Grove and I'm supposed to start classes next Thursday, though I need to firm that up.
I have a goal of posting three things per week to Etsy; I haven't started making things but I've been paying attention to things that inspire me.
I've made the most progress on the exercise program. I decided to start running, using a Couch to 5k program. Fantastic, but if I try to walk or run while watching a stopwatch or timer, I'm going to run into something... and that's a best case scenario! Fortunately, I found a couple of C25K podcasts that give cues on when to run and when to walk, so I downloaded all 9 weeks' worth of programs. Mar found me a Minidisc player I can use until we can buy something else; I'm currently waiting for it to charge. Eventually I'll need new shoes, but until then, my trainers will work, although I may take out the insoles until the blisters on my heels heal. When I put them back, I'll stick some duct tape on my heels to give them some protection and reduce friction. In the meantime, I have those protective blister things that Band-Aid makes, except mine are Target brand, yay cheap but same quality! I even asked my orthopedist, aka knee doctor, and he encouraged me to try, as long as I do it smart. He approves of the C25K program, so that's good, and he suggested some pre-emptive Aleve or ibuprofen, and to make sure I ice.
So, here it is. Tomorrow when I get up, I'll grab some breakfast (probably a granola bar and maybe a yogurt) and find a water bottle and start running. I'm a little nervous, and I don't want to let myself down... I know it's gonna suck at first, especially when I first wake up, but I can do it.
I'm gonna start running. With bad knees. In the middle of winter. Yeah, I'm crazy... but I like to think it's a GOOD crazy.
http://www.wild-hybrid.co.nz/shop/default.aspx - Wild Hybrid, galahad's shop: sells Chain Maille Jewellery, Other jewellery, Soap, Perfume oils
http://www.etsy.com/shop/origamiornaments - colormonochrome's shop: will include lots of extra things for Witches who buy something, and I can also make custom jewellery or artworks if they have a Witchee's special interests in mind
http://www.etsy.com/shop/VoyeurWithWings - GirlInDenial's shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop/cyrenemyst - SyreneMists's shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop/darksideofthesun - MelleMel's shop
http://www.taranova.us/ - jupiternf's shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mothermoongems - Coldfire's shop
http://team.etsy.com/viewteam.php?id=786 - TeamBPAL
http://www.etsy.com/shop/sevencatsco - Kitrona's shop: jewelry, especially gaming dice jewelry
http://www.etsy.com/shop/paintboxsoapworks- Tartchef's shop
Switch Witch Questionnaire
Pets: 3 cats
Children: 2, one lives with his dad and the toddler lives with me
Religious orientation: Pagan
Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving? I guess? Or Yule, maybe, I like the return of the light
Occupation/Major in school: Jewelry artist and stay at home mom
Living arrangement (by yourself, with roommates, etc): With husband and toddler
Organizations/Causes/Activities (Things you belong to or causes you believe in): Gay rights, human rights, feminism... basically, everyone should be treated with basic decency and respect!
Favorite BPAL oils: Velvet, Leo, Snake Oil, pumpkin stuff
Favorite notes: Frankincense, vanilla, cocoa, clove, chai, musk, cream, dragon's blood, sandalwood; I'm open to trying most anything
Favorite non-BPAL perfumes: Nocturne Alchemy
Least favorite notes: Most florals
Least favorite non-BPAL perfumes: Whatever people bathe themselves in.
If Beth made a custom blend for you, what would the notes be, and what would you want the label art to look like? Something foody, vanilla, cocoa, clove, chai, sandalwood, and pumpkin. No idea on the art, other than "anything but abstract"?
Clothing & Jewelry
Hair type: Thick, long, medium-fine
Skin Type: extremely pale, dry to normal
Allergies (specifically B&B related): flowers/florals
Other things to avoid: Barbie Pink makes me want to stab someone.
Tub, shower or both? Shower mostly, tub is a rare indulgence
Favorite bath & beauty products: Villainess soaps! Everything else comes from Target.
Clothing Style/Fave garments: Comfortable but awesome. I think my current favorite shirt is a plain black t from Old Navy, scoopneck, and I kind of live in jeans and shorts.
Favorite clothing colors/colors to wear: Dark colors, jewel tones.
Type(s) of jewelry worn: Chunky/chips of semiprecious stones, necklaces, rings, some bracelets, anklets, earrings
Ring/wrist/collar size: Ring size 7 1/2, wrist 7 in, neck 15 1/2 in, ankle 8 in
Jewelry - gold or silver? Silver
Do you have any allergies to metal? A bit to nickel, I think.
Favorite gemstones: Moonstone, garnet, lapis, sodalite, sapphire, malachite... basically greens, blues, reds, and shimmery whites.
Sock/Shoe Size: 7 1/2
Style/home decoration style: Wait, we're supposed to have a STYLE? I guess "messy geek den" is a style...
Favorite decorating colors: Same as above, greens, blues, reds
Things you collect: Broken dreams? Um, actually I was collecting dice, but then I started doing things with them like wire-wrapping for jewelry, so I'm not sure that counts anymore. BPAL, obviously OH, I know! Cats! I collect things with cats on them, though I tend toward the realistic rather than cartoony.
Favorite music: The Decemberists, classical, atmospheric, things I can sing along to
Least favorite music: Today's rap. 90s rap was WAY better.
Vegetarian/Vegan?: (Please be as specific as possible to reduce confusion!) Neither. Carnivore.
Other food restrictions: I have a thing about mealy-textured foods, I can't eat them. For instance, I don't mind the flavor of banana in banana bread, but I can't eat an actual banana. And I have a thing against artificially blue foods.
Favorite flavors: Vanilla, chocolate, chai, clove, ginger, etc. I like spices and savories.
Favorite foods/drinks: Sushi! Cookies, chocolate, ice cream, steak, baked potatoes... (this questionnaire is making me hungry!)
Favorite authors/genres: Cherie Priest, Seanan McGuire, urban fantasy, steampunk, historical fiction, Mercedes Lackey, some Anne McCaffrey, fantasy, sci-fi
Least favorite authors/genres: Laurell K. Hamilton, Stephanie Meyer, recent/"sexy" vampire fiction (I'm ok with the emo ones), straight romance in general
Books/authors you'd like to read, but haven't yet: Almost anything! I have an Amazon Wishlist, but I'm not sure it really reflects what I'm interested in.
How do you feel about receiving gently used books as gifts? I would love my Witch until the end of my days if I got books of any sort. Gently used is perfectly fine!
Favorite stores (including clothing stores): Um. Target? I don't shop much, at least not for stuff for me. Craft stores OMG.
Favorite online stores (including B&B stores): Villainess, Om Shanti Handcrafts (they're the only two I've really tried besides BPAL, and I'm assuming that you're assuming that that's in there, since we are on the BPAL boards!) Nocturne Alchemy? I haven't actually tried them, just been frimped, but what I got I loved.
Magazines you subscribe to: None.
Magazines you like, but don't subscribe to: I don't really read magazines.
Favorite movies: O Brother Where Art Thou?, Pulp Fiction, The Big Lebowski
Favorite TV show(s): Dr. Who. I don't watch much TV, just online TV
Hobbies/crafts done: Jewelry making, some laughable knitting, lots of computer stuff if that counts
BPAL Wish List (including SW/SF Help): http://scentbase.com/profile.php?id=2009113006130530427 (click on My Wishes for my wishlist)
Other website Wish lists (amazon.com, etc): http://www.amazon.com/wishlist/19VPC2SRMGU04
- On a scale of 1-5, how organized are you? Um, probably a 2. Maybe a 3. It depends on who you're comparing me to.
- Where, outside of the U.S. would you love to visit? (if you're international, this can be anywhere) London. I've been once and I'd love to go back.
- Do people tell you that you act older, younger, or your age? Younger, I guess... people don't really tell me I act any age.
- Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yep!
- Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house? Sometimes. Usually not, though, unless I'm sleeping someplace that isn't at my house.
- Your least favorite feature about yourself: My stomach.
- Do you live in a neighborhood or in the middle of nowhere? Neighborhood
- Do you like to shop? Sort of? I hate clothes shopping because it's depressing (very few things I can afford actually fit me), but I like to shop for fun things.
- If you were a shoe, what would you be and why? Big, well-worn-in stompy boots. I can make them go with almost anything. Plus they're comfy and supportive.
- They're making a bio-pic based on your life. Who's portraying you? Keely Shaye Smith.
-Have you ever thought, "oh, I'm going to get myself one of those one of these days" but then never do? List 1 under $10 and 1 over $10. Um. Probably one of those blankets with the arms, and... books? Maybe a cheap watch, I keep meaning to get one and then don't.
- Sunrise or sunset? Sunset, unless I'm approaching the sunrise from behind.
- Has a stranger ever told you that you did something really well? What was it? I'm apparently very friendly and approachable.
- Do you like garage sales (boot sales)? I do! I don't like the smell of them, but I like the deals and finding random treasures.
- I like to slather my food in …: Ketchup? A1? Soy sauce and wasabi? Chocolate? Caramel? Depends on what it is.
- State fairs or carnivals? State fair! (I'm assuming "county fair" could be substituted)
- Do you like to splash in puddles after it rains? Did the thought make you smile? Yes, unless we have to get somewhere. And definitely, because Ben loves splashing in puddles and it reminded me not to yell at him for it, and that I should participate!
Notes (Here's where you can add additional information you'd like your Switch Witch to know!): Can't think of anything right now.
My notes (aka "Things I should have put on my questionnaire but forgot at the time"): I do like to play with my hair, but anything that's overly complicated will frustrate me, as my dexterity is pathetic (gamers: my DEX is like 3. Seriously.). I'm pretty easy-going, I like lots of things, and there is no such thing as a "simple answer" for me; I think it's the Gemini in my birth chart, but I can like one thing and the exact opposite AT THE SAME TIME. Or when my mood changes. Things like that. Although I will always hate Barbie Pink. I like gargoyles and pirates and lots of things that aren't terribly gory. I like medical stuff (like the Mutter Museum, I would love to go there!) and weird stuff and historical stuff but massive amounts of blood either make me feel gross or I start nitpicking them. I love knowledge and stories.
Oh, and in general I'm not a fan of patchouli, as it tends to be way too heavy. Amber notes in general tend to go weird baby-powder on me, and jasmine is a HELL NO. (However, if I do get something with jasmine, I have a friend I will lovingly give it to, so no worries.)
OH! I do have an Etsy wishlist. http://www.etsy.com/people/kitrona/favorites?ref=favorites
I really like purple.
Gifts for other household members / pets? Sure! Ben loves getting things, and my husband would be pleasantly surprised. The cats don't know what's going on most of the time anyway (they're fairly low on the intelligence scale, but generally sweet) so that one's entirely "whatever". By the way, if it's acceptable/easy, Ben would love to get a letter. He watches Blue's Clues and is so excited about letters!
Home made goods? Sounds good! I do have that texture issue, but most baked goods don't have that as an issue. (Pumpkin pie being the exception, and which I do like but still have to force myself to swallow. But most people aren't going to be mailing pumpkin pie!) Including the recipe would be awesome!
Are you someone who'd rather have lots of small testers of different things on your wishlist, or would you rather have one or two "big" things? I'm ok with whichever, although I admit that a bottle would really amaze me... but then again, testers/imps are pretty awesome too.
Names on other sites: I'm Kitrona pretty much everywhere, the only variable is if it's capitalized or not. Oh, and Facebook. But I mostly use Facebook for promoting my business.
Would you like to receive Groupons or similar deals/gift certificates from your Witch? I'm not sure what they are, but if they're like a gift certificate, sure!
Top/bottom sizes: men's XXL for comfort, XL for more fitted-ness in tops (also size-wise 18), men's XL/XXL in bottoms (size-wise 20).
Mix CDs? Sure! I tend toward lyrical, melody-heavy stuff, but some good rock can really brighten my mood too!
Girliness: Depends on the moment, I guess? I have long hair and I sometimes wear skirts, but I loathe high heels and rarely wear makeup. ("High" being defined here as "more than 2 to 3 inches".) I like certain shades of pink for certain things, but they really depend on the thing. I'm not one for fussing, I guess that's the best way to put it? Nail polish is a yes; I used to collect nail polish, but it all got tossed.
Are you into Austen's books? Not really; I've never read them, but I've picked up enough from context that I think I'd enjoy them, but I haven't really been particularly motivated to read them. I may check into them on Project Gutenberg.
Do you read Tarot cards? If not, would you be interested? I do! I only have one deck (standard Rider-Waite clone) but I would love to get other decks.
So for those of you who are into Harry Potter at all, which house do you think you'd be sorted into? Ravenclaw.
What, if anything, is your guilty TV watching pleasure? I don't watch TV except online. Even then, I just watch Doctor Who.
If you cosplay or need a costume for your bellydance/burlesque hobby (or any other hobby which needs dressup/different from your normal wear), is there anything you need/want for it? Anything steampunk would be awesome.
Celebrity crush?: David Tennant!
Knitted things?: Yes please! Half-finger gloves would be amazing, and socks are always welcome. A scarf would be awesome too. I'm set on hats. Anything else is kind of a maybe.
Ebooks: I have a fairly large collection of ebooks, but my crappy ebook reader refuses to acknowledge that I've transferred them now. So I do love ebooks, but I can only read them on the computer.
Scented tarts: Sure! I don't have anything to melt them in but that can't be too expensive, I don't think.
Lip balms: Yes please! I tend to use a cocoa butter stick for my entire face during the winter, but having fun cute happy lip balms to carry around would be awesome!
Body mods: 2 tattoos on my right leg, ears pierced once (although I'm thinking of getting them double pierced) and one cartilage piercing in my right ear. I want more tats! (Not that I'm expecting this of a Witch, but it's useful information because I want them SO BAD.)
Booze: Sure. I have two bottles of imported Irish whiskey, but variety is good. Just nothing blue.
Favorite artist or art style: Um. I'm not sure, actually. Not a big fan of impressionists or Picasso-type stuff. Everything else I'm kind of open to. Art deco is lovely, like Mucha... I love the Four Seasons takeoff that Jeph Jacques did (Questionable Content).
Mixed or non-mixed DVDs? Sure! As long as it's not something gory.
DVD format: Widescreen, please.
MP3 or CD: Either is fine.
Favorite snack food: I'm not sure... depends on my mood, whether I have a taste for salty or sweet. Although I've been trying to stay away from sweet stuff, because the HFCS makes me feel gross afterward. And "low fat" anything is really gross to me. So if you're sending store-bought snacks, anything savory, like honey mustard pretzel bites, or nuts (although I'm not terribly fond of peanuts), or things of that nature. Ooh, or jerky; I'd love to try venison jerky or other "exotic" things. And if I try it and it's not a huge hit with me, my husband will most likely eat it! (Or Ben. He likes spicy things, oddly enough.)
What hobby/craft would you like to learn how to do? I really like making things, so anything of that nature would be awesome!
For those who decorate for Halloween, do you prefer cute decorations or creepy ones? Definitely cute, but not sugary-sweet cute. Like, weirdly cute or creepy-cute. No gore/blood.
Also, as part of the cute-or-creepy question, would you want hand made, molded, glazed ceramic decorations (napkin rings, potporri/tart warmers, etc) to add to your stock? That would be lovely!
How do you feel about mortars and pestles? I like them, but mine broke. So I am mortar-and-pestle-less.
Do you have a special symbol or totem that is meaningful to you? Cats. Eye of Bast (eye of Horus backward, aka the left eye) Anything Bast. http://seppukukitty.deviantart.com/#/d2ybha4 That. Skunks.
Do you need a box for your bpal bottles? Your imps? Your something else to put in a box stuff? Sure! I love boxes, I always need more.
If you could be any person, being, or animal from Fantasy what or who would you be? A dragon, River Song (if we're including Sci-fi), a dragonrider, a hobbit
If you could go back to any point in time, where, when, why? Phaoronic Egypt, to experience the whole Bast thing.
Favorite Halloween Candy/Treat? Not sure. I like most of it, except those stupid peanut butter taffy things that always seem to be a million years old and try to pull your fillings out.
Socks? Sock Dreams? Anyone? HELL YES. I can't find any of my socks, and I just put a ton of socks on my wishlist. Handknitted, store-bought, whatever, I like socks.
What is something you use to comfort yourself when feeling yucky, depressed, or in pain? Computering (is too a word!), reading, tea, snuggly blanket, a nap, sometimes chocolate (the total irony and unfairness is that too much sugar makes me feel worse!), basically things to distract myself.
Favorite Halloween/Scary movies/books The Stand was pretty scary (I know, I'm a wuss) but I love it. Hocus Pocus, The Witches (not necessarily Halloweeny but still good), The Shining, book form only please. Umm... Silent Hill? Not a book or movie but still has that scary atmosphere. Well, the movie captured it pretty good, I guess, I forgot about the movie. (Personal incident: we went to a con last year and someone was cosplaying as Pyramid Head, with a girl in a wheelchair who was twitching, and OH. MY. GODS. it was freaky-good. I got a picture but it doesn't really do the whole thing justice. I have a love-hate relationship with Pyramid Head.)
What would the name of your custom blend be? The description? I'm gonna have to think about this one and come back to it.
COMIC BOOKS. Do you read them? Are there any series you like, or some you would like to try? I was reading one, I think it's called Runaways? but I never bought them, I just read them in the store like a little punk. I enjoy Linkara, but I don't really read comics/graphic novels. Except webcomics, I read a couple of those, like Questionable Content and Basic Instructions.
Warm drinks? Where? Where?!?! (I love warm drinks. Tea, cider, coffee with lots of flavored creamer...)
When you go to an etsy wishlist, it will tell you what things are sold. If you click on the sold item, sometimes it will give options that are similar to what was sold, but not identical, would you like the similar item or prefer not to get it at all unless it's the same item? How picky are you? Usually I favorite shops instead of items, because it's really a whole... *handwavy* aesthetic that I like.
Do you wear make up? Sometimes.
Disney movies, Yay or Nay, and favourites if you do like them? Meh, I can take them or leave them, I guess. I loved the Frog Princess one, though, that was very cool. (I have to admit my "meh"-ness is because my mother loves All Things Disney and thus this has soured me on them. Also, I love Nemo and Monsters, Inc. but if I have to listen to them one more time.... thanks Ben.)
Do you have A VCR, DVD Player or Blue Ray or a combo of the three? I have a VCR! And a DVD! (pronounced "dee'veedee")
Would you like custom icons as a gift? Sure! I can make simple icons, but between my lack of patience and my wonky hands, more complicated things are rare.
Would you like a bag of dried Honeycrisp apples? Yes please! I love Honeycrisp and they were completely out of them at the orchard!
If you were to receive a knitted item (such as a scarf, hat, etc), what colors would you like? And do you have any sensitivies/allergies to any materials? I prefer natural materials. Color-wise, everything goes with gray, which is the color of my winter coat. I just ask for you to go sparingly on the orange and yellow.
Gift Certificate: physical or email? Either is fine.
Favorite Yankee Candles? Or other brands scents? No idea, I haven't had a Yankee candle in years and I don't really pay attention to the scents. But foody ones are always good, Clean Cotton (I think?), basically anything I mentioned above in scent notes.
would you like a zuni animal fetish? And if so, what animal? That would be awesome! Skunk or some version of cat, please.
And how does everyone feel about glow in the dark radishes? Those are cool but I don't think I would ever end up wearing them.
What places to do you visit that you'd like a gift card to? Starbucks, Target, Wal-Mart, B&N, a favorite restaurant or clothing shop? I'm good with anything, really.
Cake or Frosting? Yes.
What movie scared the bejeezus out of you as a child? ET. Gods, I hated that movie.
Name a couple of sites you frequent other than this one: Etsy, LJ, Echo Bazaar, Facebook, Amazon
Do you like the Muppets? Which is your favorite? I love the Muppets. Miss Piggy is my hero, but I like all of them. Pepe is hilarious.
If you could have any creature (real or imaginary) as a pet, what would it be? Firelizard! Or the quail-winged ocelot kitten I dreamed about (literally).
Comfort Rereads?: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, Anne of Green Gables (the whole series, really) by L. M. Montgomery (I used to have the whole set but sadly, they were lost in a move.)
Will you be going out of town during the round, or is there any other time during the round when it would not be ideal for you to receive a package from your witch? Not that I know of.
If you are in school now, what classes are you taking? Does anything you are currently studying really interest you? (if you are not in school, is there anything you are trying to learn?) Not in school, trying to learn how to run a business and how to get things to SELL without exhausting myself.
What animal would your daemon be? Alternately, your patronus. Some sort of cat or skunk, probably. I did dream about the aforementioned ocelot kitten with quail wings.
What's YOUR favorite word? I... don't know, there are so many to choose from. Douchecanoe is one, but I can't think of any others off the top of my head.
Steampunk, yay or nay? If yay, what part appeals most? The clothes.
Cake truffles? If YES! Cake/icing/chocolate type? Very very YES. I'm good with pretty much anything; unusual combinations would be really fun.
are you interested in mini bottles(under 100ml for hand luggage) of bath and body products? Sure.
Vampire shows, literature, etc? Yay or nay? Nah. I've already read all the vampire stuff that even remotely appeals.
If you play console video games, what game systems do you have and what games would you love to have? Wii, PS2, and a broken Xbox. I'm not really panting after any games, but I tend toward puzzles and RPGs.
How do you all feel about flowers and plants? Flower and plant seeds? Drawings of flowers or plants? Pressed flowers? They're useful to recycle oxygen? Um, anything that can't make noise or nudge me when it needs something will die around here. Drawings are good, though, I can always use things to decorate the walls around here.
How do you feel about marzipan? Also useful, but too sweet for me.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go to last.fm immediately and create an account! Download the scrobbler! Link us to your account! If you reject this assignment, maybe just tell us what your mp3 player says you listen to a lot? The Decemberists. But I haven't listened to my music in a month or more. I did, however, download the scrobbler and I'm finally putting my music on my computer again, so hopefully that will update soon.
Any countries you're interested in? Not off the top of my head. I like England, I guess.
Would you enjoy homemade bath products (bath salts, fizzies, etc.) and/or linen sprays? Esp. if scented with some of your favorite BPAL scents? Yes!
If you witch made you something and it didn't come out just right, would you still want it? Yes, it's the thought that counts (as long as the "not just right" isn't, like, hazardous to anyone's health or anything...)
Are you a foodie? I am. In both senses. I collect recipes I'll likely never make but they sound AMAZING.
Any sports fans in the house? What's your favorite sport/team/player? Nope, no sports.
For holidays, do you decorate? Would you like decorative stuff, weenie or otherwise? If so, do you lean towards the elegant, the crafty/folksy, or the more, erm, campy? I try to decorate, but nobody else around here really gets into it. I still have Christmas decorations up from 3 years ago (not all of them, but some shiny snowflakes and mistletoe and stuff.)
Do you like journals/notebooks/sketchbooks? I do!!
If you could have 3 BPAL bottles fall (gently) out of the sky right this second that you've been looking for or pining for - which 3 would they be? Hmmm... Storyville, just because I'm THAT curious about it. Pumpkin Latte, because it sounds like it would be AWESOME. Another bottle of Leo, just to have a backup.
Are there any international treats that you love and have a hard time finding? Those chocolate Smarties things. I haven't really tried any international treats but I would love to.
Is there anything from the 'Ween BPTP update that you would like but haven't ordered for yourself? Pretty much all of it except the Licorice Bats and Halloween: New Orleans.
If you are a crafter, would you like to receive supplies from your witch (beads, fabric, yarn/roving etc?) That would be awesome!
Find your iPod (or other MP3 device), put it on shuffle/random. What are the first five songs to come up? Er. No musics yet, still transferring.
Soundtracks you'd like? Lord of the Rings, Firefly/Serenity
If you could see one concert right now, who would it be? The Decemberists. They put on an amazing show.
How do you feek about silly, funny knick-knack, dollar store stuff, stickers, magnets etc? Would you like receiving that kind of stuff or rather not? I love that kind of stuff! Stuff that's not expensive but is fun is perfect. (I mean, I like expensive things too, but who has that kind of money?)
Is there a specific book you've been wanting to get but haven't found the time or the opportunity to? An Artificial Night by Seanan McGuire. I love her writing. And her music. And... she's just cool.
Do you read mangas/watch animes? Which ones? Do you have a particular favourite? Would you like to receive managas or anything related to them? I don't, but the husband is, sort of.
Are you open to receiving things that are not on your wishlist, maybe something your Witch thinks you might like? Absolutely! My wishlist is by no means exhaustive.
If you have something on a wishlist that we could craft INSTEAD of buying, though it might not end up identical to the wishlist thing, would it be okay to craft it instead? Obviously we don't want to copy anyone else's design, but if we can replicate the flavour or intent that you like without stepping on toes? Again, absolutely! Creativity is awesome, and if it saves someone money, yay!
OK, I know that lots of folks love socks. Do you have a preference of length? Materials? Patterns? I... just like socks, I think. Which is odd because I prefer to go barefoot as much as possible. Anyway, my wishlist has a range of stuff I like, so that would be a good guideline. And if they're handmade/homemade, anything is good! Handknitted socks are just awesome.
How do people feel about word magnets? I feel I could get myself in a lot of trouble with them, but as long as I keep them high enough on the fridge that Ben can't grab them, it's good trouble!
Chocolate or other types of candy? Hell yes.
For tea drinkers, do you prefer loose leaf or tea bags? Either is fine. I don't have a teapot, though.
If you would enjoy something of a knitted persuasion, do you have a preference on type of thing? Since making a scarf for someone who has 10 might be a smidge excessive? Also, how do people feel about shawls? I WANT A SHAWL LIKE BURNING. ... ahem. A shawl would be lovely! (and that's a difficult word for me to type, odd)
Is there a TV, movie or literary character that you are a lot alike, or would like to be alike? Umm... I'll come back to this one when I'm more awake.
Is there anything you need for your kitchen, ie measuring cups, spoons, grater, ect? Random gadgets that just have one use are good. Ooh, jar opener thingies, like the little rubber thing that makes gripping easier, or I've seen one with a handle that would be fab.
Music, DO you prefer Live or Studio? Edited or explicit? Either is fine, as long as the sound is good.
If you are an animal lover, is there a specific type/breed that you love most? Cats. Greyhounds. Corgis. Rotties. (they're so lovable and loving! As long as they haven't been treated like crap. I used to work at a pet supply store and the Rotties were always so sweet!)
Also flowers and plants- If you like flowers/plants, do you have a favorite(s)? I like lilacs, peonies, lavender... do not like roses and honeysuckle. Anything but roses and honeysuckle has at least a 50/50 chance of me liking it.
Do you have a favorite quotation? Song lyric? Book passage? WhateverthehecktheycalltheanonymousregionalwisdomthingiePROVERB! that word. I have a giant text file of quotes that I love. I can put it on my blog if you like? Just let me know.
What is a bpal scent that you've been dying to try for awhile but just can't find? (A scent where even a tester would do) I can't think of any right now. I'm assuming "dying to try" is equivalent to "would sell your firstborn for".
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you have some children/spawn (1 or more), and, hypothetically speaking, your witch would like to spoil them a little but knows nothing of kids these days. What do they like or dislike? Also is there anything a (sane) adult might think they would like that you don't think is appropriate for whatever reason? (I'm thinking of things like temp tattoos, make up, things that make noise, or anything else that might be bad for non-obvious reasons.) Things that make noise are a big NO. Ben likes things like Wallace and Gromit, non-princessy Disney movies (although he loved Ponyo!). Cookies. (LOL I just asked him what he likes and he said, "Um... water? I think?") Snacks are a big hit. He likes Goldfish, too. If you want to bake or whatever, that's fine, he has no allergies. And movies and videos. There was a gif of a cat falling into a bathtub that made him laugh til he fell down. I almost forgot, he LOVES stickers. Doesn't matter what they are, he'll stick 'em to his forehead happily.
Is there anything you would like that can be delivered over the internet? Things like fanfic recs, cat macros, mp3s you are looking for, how-to or amusing videos, things like that Cat macros are good, new music is good, videos are good... yeah, pretty much everything but the fanfic. (It's not that I don't like fanfic, it's that a. there is some HORRIBLE fanfic out there and b. I have a ton of ebooks to read. Although so-bad-it's-funny fanfic might be good!)
What would your last meal be if it could be anything in the world (sky is the limit, drinks too, the whole shebang) Oh dear. Sushi, fresh raw sugar snap peas, prime rib, Irish cream, eggnog chai, cheeze curls (the puffy kind, not the crunchy kind), gourmet chocolates, a whole dessert cart from a fancy restaurant, something salmon, broccoli, various cheeses and wines that match them, a good whiskey... I could go on, but yeah, food is a THING of mine.
NaNoWriMo? I did it last year but I think this year I'll be too busy. Maybe. We'll see.
what interests you from the latest lab update? It's all on my ScentBase. (Sorry for such a cop-out answer but I can't remember! That's why I wrote it down.)
How do you feel about stationery, like nice pens or notepaper? And if you're in favor, do you prefer classic/contemporary or cutesy stuff? I LOVE THINGS LIKE THIS. Office supplies, stationary, pens, notepaper, post-its, all of it. I'd love a decent-quality fountain pen. But anything of this nature is win.
Would you like homemade preserves (e.g. marinated vegies, pickled onions, chilli jam?) Sure! I haven't tried most of those but they sound interesting.
If you've got stuff on your BPAL wishlist, would partial bottles be okay? Absolutely!
Would you like something you have to make yourself? It depends on what it is. I have a low DEX score and I have a bad history of not finishing things. Like the washcloth I'm knitting that I haven't touched for over a year. (But I found it! So now I can finish it! In theory anyway.)
Say you were my witchee, and I found things on your wishlist that I could totally make. Would you want me to make it? Or would you rather it be purchased for you? Please make it! Not only does it save money, it's more personal that way.
Who is your favorite soap etailer? I can't pick just one! Paint Box Soapworks, Villainess, and Om Shanti Handcrafts.
What about vintage decoration items, teacups, etc etc? That would be lovely, except for the part where a small boy or an obnoxious cat breaks it. Then I would be sad and feel guilty.
With regards to your gifts, would you prefer your presents' awesomeness evenly spread out (several packages of pretty terrific things) over the round or a slow build-up of awesomeness (going up from pretty cool things to something super-duper cool at the end) to go out with a bang? Do you have a preference? I have no preference. I think anything is pretty awesome.
What kind of make-up do you wear? What colors? Is there anything you'd like to try but haven't yet? I don't really wear makeup. I'd love to try some, though... all the stuff I have I got at Target. (I'm sure there's someone who just had a heart attack reading that. oops.)
Who would be on your top 5 (IE famous people you’d date/have relations with) David Tennant. Um. I think everyone else I was crushing on ended up crazy. Maybe I should not have a list.
Do you crave many Ecards and contact or are you okay with little contact from your Witch? I'm ok with whatever you are comfortable with, but little bits of "I was thinking of you" are always nice.
Do you have a place where you list all the BPAL you have or have tried? ScentBase!
Do you like maple sugar candy? I like maple anything.
What is your position on the chocolate & bacon flavor combination? I have not tried it, but if it's good-quality bacon I'd be willing to try it. And good-quality chocolate, of course. (Gods, I sound like such a snob, but I'm not, really! I just can't put in all the smilies where I normally would!)
If you are a tea-drinker do you need a tea-cozie for your pot? I need a tea cozy and I need a pot. I think we have one, but it's my husband's and probably needs washing.
Go to your spice cabinet, what are the three most used spices? Adobo, garlic, salt. I use a bunch of others, and herbs, but I just sniff them and throw in what smells right.
Microsoft or Apple? Linux. Ok, not really, although I did have an Ubuntu laptop at one time. I use Win7 currently.
Where was your last vacation? What did you like most? New York City to visit the husband's parents. It was ok but nothing to write home about, except when I got my tattoo.
Would you appreciate receiving handwritten letters and/or postcards (anonymous or not)? How about sending them? I would! I'm not good at actually sending things, although I could manage a postcard. (Writing hurts sometimes.)
Do you hate any food things with a passion?? Capers. Brussels sprouts. Fennel has to be ground.
Would you be opposed to receiving a digital version (via email) of a magazine you like but don't subscribe to...you know, in the interest of saving a tree? That would work.
I've been having weird dreams. Dreams of betrayal, mostly, like the one where the company of soldiers I was counting on to help me win the battle were asleep when I went to give them the order to move out. Turned out they were enemy soldiers, posing as our side to give us false confidence and think we had a company that the enemy didn't know about.
And I acknowledged my health issues in one of the dreams. I think the two are related. I think I'm feeling betrayed by my body far more than I realize, and moreso as I come to accept that I will never go another day without feeling pain for the majority of it. I will never again be able to push myself and have the consequential achiness and whatnot be proportional to how much I pushed; it will always be twice that.
I will never be who I was, the girl who, despite being out of shape and overweight, could still pull physical exertion out when needed. I will always be the one who needs taking care of, always be the one who needs instead of the one who's needed.
I always thought that I'd have that freedom. I mourn it now.
I swear, one of these days I'll remember I have this thing when I have GOOD news.
But for now, notsomuch.
A friend just found out that she can't get the money to go to Thailand to get her surgery. She's getting gender-reversal surgery, or whatever the technical name is. As she puts it, she's making her outie an innie. Except that now, due to the selfishness of certain people, she can't. And I'm terribly afraid that this may be the last straw between her and her wife, who is taking the side of the selfish people. (I'd give more details, but it's not my story to tell.) I don't want that upheaval for her. I want things to work out, desperately, because she is a very dear friend. If I had the money, I'd give it to her, no questions asked, no repayment. She NEEDS this.
Another very dear friend is having family issues as well. And while they somewhat mirror some of my family issues, yet again, there's nothing I can do to help besides listen and be a shoulder. Apparently that's enough, but I feel like I could do more... but I can't figure out what.
I have no idea what's going on with the house, because after the owner verbally accepted our agreement to his counteroffer last Wednesday, and told the realtor to fax the papers to him, he has been incognito. No contact with anyone that we've heard of, and both we and the realtor have been calling him. My husband finally got ahold of the owner's boss (although I think the owner is actually just another realtor or something, not sure) and the boss said he'd look into it and call us back. Nothing yet, but we found out the other day that the listing isn't on the website anymore. Could be good, could be bad. I don't know, because, oh yeah! WE CAN'T CONTACT HIM.
Another random 'friend' IMed my husband out of the blue and started whining about how his wife is leaving him and he's so put-upon, blahblahblah. Whatever. Only contact us when you want something? Sorry, got enough worries on my plate right now, leave a message and I'll call you back.
I blocked my ex from my IM list today, after his amazingly insensitive and ignorant performance yesterday. I'd go into detail, but eh. Suffice it to say he was quite the know-it-all despite the fact that I've had depression about, oh, 12 years longer than him? But my life is great, I have no reason to be depressed. Hi, ever heard of clinical depression? And yeah, beta-blockers are just fantastic for depression. Except for, y'know, being for heart disease and not depression. And pregnant women just LOVE being called lazy for sleeping in! So I told him I didn't appreciate that, and he logged off in a huff. Oh well.
And now it's bedtime. Mrrrrrr.
... because today was a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day.
Ok, so my son's name is Alexander, that's close enough, right?
I had weird dreams all last night, which isn't unusual, but I was cranky to begin with because I was woken up at (what I presume to be) a good part by one of the cats deciding the bed was a good scratching post. RAWR. Then my husband got home and barely spoke to me, although he did tell me I missed the UPS guy with my computer part so my lappy can be fixed. RAWR again. Then he snapped at me over trivial shit and we ended up having a big fight. No apologies on either side. So I went to hang out with my son, see what he's doing, and after laying on his bed for a while, I get a strange pain under my belly, right over my pubic bone in front, like I overstretched a muscle. Not enough to scare me or send me to the hospital, but enough to really hurt and be annoying.
So now I COULD have a working lappy but I don't have the part, I'm cranky and in pain, and I'm generally ready to snap at anyone who says anything stupid to me. RAWR. (And I have a headache, too.)
So we got the mortgage, but not the house. Odd, considering I could've sworn it'd go exactly opposite.
I won't go into the details; I'm already in a bad mood, no need to make it worse. I'll copy/paste from my LJ the list of things I'm stressed out about.
Things I'm dealing with:
1. a possibility about my personality issues that fits
2. waiting for a call back about getting tested for said issues
3. same for Alex
4. frustration/pissed that the hospital that was supposed to help me never called us back despite the fact that Mar left several messages (but I sent them a nasty email about it)
5. various friends and troubles and worry
6. hearing back about our offer on the house... apparently they called and said they were counteroffering, but the paperwork is nowhere to be found
7. everything I consult, tarot cards, runes, whatever, are saying to be patient and i really cannot be patient and stop worrying
8. the possibility that #1 could change both me and Alex's lives for the better
9. the good possibilities of #6 and the accompanying anxiety over the possibility of not getting it
10. the overwhelming possibilities of everything and that my life and my family's lives could drastically change for the better and how much I want that and how I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up so that I don't end up disappointed
11. someone being a dumbass on the BPAL board and changing a thread title I started because she "didn't want to offend" anyone, despite the fact that the term I used I GOT from the people with the condition, who proudly call themselves that. Also the fact that the new title is misspelled, and apparently the feelings of the hypothetical people that would be offended are more important than the feelings of me, who was and is offended.
12. the utter uncertainty of everything right now
13. people who don't get hints and ect.
14. changes in plans
15. the stress of trying to come up with all the potential ways I could inadvertantly piss people off and subsequently trying to cover all my bases
As is evident, there's a lot on my mind. It makes me very... well, "rawry" for lack of a more accurate term.
Monday cannot come soon enough. Answers cannot come soon enough. Good things cannot possibly come soon enough.
Yay, February's over, Mercury retrograde is over, and we found a house we fell in love with! Now to get a mortgage.
Seriously, that's about all I've done for the past month, kept my head down and got on with life. And ate and slept and peed, on a personal, physical level. But the day that Mercury went direct again, we found our house.
4 bedrooms, 2 baths, a nice backyard, 2 car garage, washer/dryer hookups, an attic that can easily be converted into living space (aka, hi, master bedroom and family room and magic room!).... and the attic even has a mysterious old chest in it. It was built in 1900, and it's very narrow... hell, the lot is narrow, 25 x 125. But it's perfect for us. The kitchen is great, with tons of counter space, and it's got a dining room, even! Except for needing a refrigerator (the stove is there), and the fact that we don't own the place yet, we could move in tomorrow.
C'mon, mortgage. My husband just sent in some information to the credit bureaus about the tax liens that showed up on his credit report that aren't his. (Yet another reason NOT to name your kids anything Junior... the liens are his dad's, who has the same name.) Hopefully we'll get some good news on Monday. Cross your fingers for us?
In case I haven't mentioned, the price is ridiculously low. It's been on the market for a while, and I think the owner wants to get rid of it, but also it faces a parking lot and an oil refinery. Not that I care; I'll be hanging out in the backyard all the time, and when the wind blows the wrong way, I've got incense. The wind doesn't really blow the wrong way all that much, though... the lake is to the north, and the refinery's to the southeast.
Ok. Going back to wibbling and worrying. All good wishes are appreiciated.
UGH. I am sick. My head feels like a huge, slightly dried-out ball of snot, and I need a shunt to get rid of the crud. This makes me cranky.
Oh yeah, and happy whatever holiday. Hope it was tolerable.
*shuffles off to infect someone*
... and so far, it's not much better.
Saturday was fine, but mostly because I slept all day.
Sunday I slept quite a bit, but then I got in a fight with a friend over something that wasn't really his business, and which he did not ask for the full story before starting in on me and my best friend. Fortunately, it was solved, and she's FAR more tactful than I am, especially with still making up sleep and the unfairness of it all, so she did most of the talking while I fumed privately. And all is well now, but at the time I was ready to strangle something.
Today I got woken up at 9 am to go get my son from school because he has pinkeye. I think it's some sort of allergy, myself, but then, the only form of conjuntivitis that I'm familiar with is when my contacts act up. I think I've got whatever it is he's got, but not quite as bad.
Tomorrow he goes to the doctor.
There are some good things going on, namely with finding someone who'll fight to find us a good mortgage, but it's overshadowed by a lot of uncertainty, some depression, and being so... frickin'... tired. And lack of money, can't forget that. Oy.
(It's probably been said better elsewhere, too.)
Just because you have the /right/ to say something doesn't always mean you /should/ say it. And freedom of speech or of the press doesn't mean that if others disagree with you, they're taking away your rights. They have a right to their opinion that what you said was distasteful or rude or flabbergastingly disgusting as a human being.
This applies to more than one situation, although I'm sure everyone knows at least one situation where it applies in their lives. But saying something that could reasonably (or obviously) be considered rude and then being surprised or backtracking and saying you meant something else is not only even more rude, it's rather disingenious and makes the person saying it look like a complete idiot.
I feel the need to detail everything that's gone wrong this week. Perhaps it will help to get it out.
Monday: Cat started bleeding from her vagina. We took her to the vet, where we found out she needed an emergency c-section. Aside from the obvious stress from the thought that my cat might die, there was also the stress from the fact that it cost almost $400 when we had approximately $6 in the bank. We had to run $200 through as a credit and pray it didn't hit until Saturday, then write a post-dated check for Saturday for the rest. One kitten of the two left in her survived, plus the one she had had normally on Saturday. Total: two kittens.
Also got a phone call from my son's school; he had an asthma attack.
Husband called off from work because the car was acting weird.
Tuesday: Had my first ultrasound. That was cool. But the kitten born on Monday by c-section died, despite lots of loving care and quite a bit of panic. She now resides in our freezer, waiting to be enbalmed and mummified. (Yes. I am mummifying the kitten. With the help of my husband and best friend. It comforts me.)
Another phone call from the school; another asthma attack.
Wednesday: A friend was dismayed that plans we'd made long ago, before I found out I was pregnant, before we decided we needed a house, were changed, even though circumstances have radically changed since then. Said friend tried to push me into going by making promises about paying for me, despite lack of followthrough on at least two other promises, and didn't understand why I was reluctant to accept.
Another call from the school; kidling smelled like cat pee because he does not shower regularly nor hang up his school clothes.
Also, husband took in the car to find out why it's been acting weird and found out that both rear boots were rusted to uselessness, we've effectively had NO brakes approximately since we bought the car, and the master cylinder needed replacing. One of the boots shattered when the car was being inspected, and thus HAD to be replaced. They cut him a bit of a deal, but that was another $250 we had to charge.
Thursday: Psych appointment. Also husband calling off from work again to take the car in so the master cylinder could be replaced. Also called off kidling from school to take him to the doctor.
My appointment was at 11:30, half an hour away. Turns out they were waiting to get the part, and it would be in at 10 am at the earliest. Thus, they would be done with the car at 1 pm at the earliest. The earliest I could reschedule for was next Thursday. That would not work.
The CarX guy.... loaned my husband the store van. We got there late, but the psych still saw us. Yay! She is very good and I feel safe in her metaphorical hands. Dr. Vijay. She doesn't prescribe antidepressants during the first trimester, but I see her again in a month. In the meantime, I have an appointment with a therapist next week. I'm looking forward to it; that should help, at least some.
When we went back to CarX, we waited what seemed like forever, because when they bled the brake lines, one shattered, plus one of the taillights shattered as well. Or something like that. In any case, a bunch of things went wrong that made it take forever. But we finally got the car back... only to find it ran weird still. But we could stop!!
Took kidling to the doctor, waited forever, witnessed a woman who seemed like a stereotypical lesbian and/or redneck (the bad stereotypes, unfortunately, including bad mullet) having an attitude and preparing to throw a fit. That was fun. But we got prescriptions for the kidling.
Today: I got woken up by a call from the ob, which I accidentally hung up on because the cordless phone needs a new battery. When I called back, I found out I am not allowed to have sex for at least a month because he saw implantation bleeding on my ultrasound. So in a month I get to go back and have another ultrasound.
Also figured out that I don't have enough energy to deal with my life, much less any of my friends' lives, so I seem destined to either piss them off or fall by the wayside in their lives.
Got the kidling's medications, at $60 total for 3 of them. When we have less than nothing in the bank. So that's more stress.
....... can I have a day or two to catch my breath, please?
RIP Berenice (Berry)
February 5, 2007 - February 6, 2007
My husband said true that it never gets any easier.
I love you, Berry, and I'll miss you, even though you were only around for 24 hours. Be safe and happy on the other side with your brother....
Exciting day yesterday.
I would've posted earlier, but I was completely exhausted. Cleo had to go to the vet and get a c-section. Ack, brb... tell you the story after I give her her meds.
There, done. So Cleo had Baxter on Saturday, but she was still lumpy. Still, she wasn't acting too funny, so we figured she was just taking a while to get the other(s) out. Well, she was, but the problem was that one of the kittens was too big. Woke up yesterday to bloody discharge from her, so we ran her to the vet, where they x-rayed her and found the large kitten. She needed a c-section, obviously, so they did it (and spayed her at the same time). But wait! There were TWO kittens still in there! And they managed to save one!
Unfortunately, the little boy was the one that couldn't be saved. I've named him George, since for the little bit of time he was fighting for life I loved him. Stupid as it may sound, I've cried for him.
The others are, um, both girls. Yes, even Baxter, who has been renamed Beatrix, but still Bax for short. The other is Berenice, Berry for short. Bax looks like Cleo, same markings and everything, and Berry looks like Keon. Sounds like him, too... they both got major lung power!
Pictures? Why, yes, I do have pictures! http://pics.livejournal.com/stabbitydeath/gallery/0000cse8
Today I got my first ultrasound done. I'm 8 weeks, 5 months according to the measurements... and according to the due date calculator. How odd.
Here's the ultrasound. http://pics.livejournal.com/stabbitydeath/pic/000122wd
Oh, I also turned in my application for the pool locker room attendant. Easy job, decent pay (really good pay for what I'll do, actually), and it's while Alex is in school. I put I want about 25 hours a week, which I think is acceptable... I don't want to work when Mar's off if I can avoid it. So I hope I get it. Yay, BPAL money!
And now I have a kitten in my cleavage. Berry gets cold... I think she's more fragile than Bax, understandably, and every time Cleo leaves, despite the fact that they're by the heater, Berry cries.
Our female cat was pregnant. Well, she still is, kind of, because she's still lumpy, but we have one kitten born! And she was a champ... I didn't even know she was in labor. My son woke me up by crashing through the bedroom door (not literally) and yelling, "Cleo's got a kitten!"
He's adorable, mostly gray with a little white. And he is Snowy's, so she named him Baxter.
I now have kitten smell on my hand, because he was born under the couch and that is not a safe place for him. And he smells like a newborn baby.
I SO want Beth to make Newborn Kitten BPAL.
Apparently we're not hearing back from the mortgage company today. Which isn't so great, because tomorrow we're going to Chinatown with a bunch of friends and won't be home.
I'm really looking forward to going to Chinatown. I can get another medicine cup, since my last one broke, and make myself and the family medicinal teas. (They TASTE medicinal, too! But they work.) We can get a teapot, which we haven't had since the last one broke from overuse. I MIGHT be able to get sushi. (I love sushi. If I could eat it every day, especiall in the summer, I would. Happily. I even learned how to make some very basic sushi.) And we can hang out with our friends, who are usually very busy and don't have time to hang out at all, with anyone. I just hope I have enough energy to walk around. It's not a huge area, not like NYC's Chinatown, but it's kind of spread out oddly over a few blocks.
Today I had my first bout of "morning" sickness so far this pregnancy. Oh, joy. It didn't help that I didn't get QUITE enough sleep, or that a friend called whose boyfriend I used to consider a friend. I sympathize with her completely, and I'm not sure I can be friends with someone who lies so constantly to himself and to everyone else. But I won't get into their issues... it's neither here nor there, and would take far more explaining than I care to do at the moment. But it added some stress. Then my son came home with a letter from the principal, his second time of seeing the principal this school year. Apparently, despite the long talk we had yesterday about responsibility and developing good habits, he got out of his seat at lunch without permission and ignored one of the lunch aides. And this happened more than once.
Honestly, I cannot deal with that, plus my stress and tiredness and depression. Fortunately, I have the bestest husband I could ever have. He's not perfect, but he's as close to perfect for me as anyone I've ever met or even heard of. He knows I'm ground down to nearly nothing, emotionally, and he took charge, made new rules, and meted out the punishment. I am immensely grateful to him, if that wasn't obvious already.
My husband then did the dishes, and I started dinner. I also had some miso soup someone sent me in a care package. I have no idea how they knew or guessed that I absolutely love miso soup, but I do. It's a comfort food, but it's actually not bad for me. We're planning to see if we can get some more packets, maybe tomorrow in Chinatown.
I'll probably go to bed early tonight. My sleep schedule is beyond wonky, and last I heard, the plan was to leave for Chinatown around 11 am.
I am so tired of people lying to themselves and others over silly, petty little things. Someone mentioned that you can post in the "how are you feeling" thread and pretty much always get support, but it's rather amusing to me that my experience is almost the exact opposite. I have to be extremely melodramatic to even get noticed, and my offers of support, and those of my friends, tend to get ignored. I know it's a big forum, with lots of people, but if only two of those people have responded in any way to your post, is it not simple courtesy to respond to them BOTH?
I am not picking on anyone in particular here. This is something I have noticed over a span of time. And to use examples of my own, which is all I feel I can ethically do, I posted in that thread that I felt "Distant". One word. Ok, easy to miss, I guess. I got no responses at all. Then a few hours later I posted "Discouraged, alone, depressed, and invisible." Direct quote. To that, I got three responses.
It just seems like there are certain people who get more attention in that thread, and on the board as a whole, than others. I understand that people have cliques and all, but it seems odd to me that despite the reality of this, people seem to think that everyone's treated equally.
I have been having some very serious emotional problems, to the tune of semi-regular breakdowns. These do not look to be ending any time soon unless I can get back on my anti-depressants, which I was wisely taken off of when my regular doctor found out I was pregnant. The obstetrician has more knowledge of these things. Until then, however, I tend to devolve into a sobbing mess roughly every three to four weeks. But because I choose not to tell approximately 6000 people every detail of my life, because I assume (probably rightly) that it will bore them, because I choose to mention only the barest details when it is the worst, I get shoved to the back while those who choose to make their lives public to the last detail, they get what appears to be 100% support, although in many cases, it is not.
Perhaps I'm being petty. Perhaps it's the hormones talking. Or perhaps, just perhaps, I get tired of seeing myself and my friends, who really could use a few encouraging words now and again, to whom knowing that we've inspired kind feelings in someone we've never met would make a huge difference, shoved to the back of the "room" and ignored in favor of those who prefer their lives to be full of great drama, whether acknowledged conciously or not.
Perhaps it's something to think about. And perhaps five people will read this. I know my blog is not as widely followed as some, and five is the upper limit of my expectations. But then, I suppose since we as a society focus on those who provide drama, it shouldn't be so surprising that the same thing would happen in our private lives.
Or perhaps I'm just an idealist.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I'd figured on a due date around mid-September. After all, that's when my son was born, and I'd found out he was on his way around the same time.
However, I seem to be a little shaky on my counting-backwards skills. I had assumed I was about 3 or 4 weeks along, at most. Out of curiousity, though, last night I was tooling around the web and found a baby site, and was reading. Naturally, it had a due-date predictor. I plugged in the information requested, and got back mid-September as a due date. Ok, no surprise there. But it also said that I'm now 6 weeks along. I was not expecting THAT. I mean, it makes sense, but for some reason, my brain is still boggling.
Still, I guess that's good. It doesn't really change anything except in my head, so it's really neither good nor bad.
I also found out that I may be able (even encouraged) to get back on my antidepressants. That means I'll be able to sleep! And not be so cranky! And that will be good for all concerned.
*sighs* I went to bed at 9:30. This was early for me, but I was sleepy, and I didn't actually sleep until about 11. I woke up again at 2:30, and for 3 hours, I haven't been able to get back to sleep.
This happened yesterday, too. I went to bed around 3:30 (normal for me) and couldn't sleep until 8.
I am frustrated. (And hungry again, but I don't think that has anything to do with it... my tummy's not growling.) I wish I could take something to help me sleep, but that's not a good idea. Tea didn't work, trying to bore myself to sleep didn't work, and I can't think of anything else.
The big news for today was that I went to a birthday party. Had fun, stayed for 3 hours, am now exhausted. Kitty told me I look dehydrated, and that I'm growing my water sac (which sounds really really gross), so I need to drink more water. And it's fairly obvious to me that /something's/ going on down there, because my "yay I lost weight" pants are now tight. Ugh. The only other pants I have to wear are the jeans that I can literally pull off without buttoning.
Now I'm cold and tired. I think I will crash.
Oh yeah, and we called the realtor back that called us twice yesterday. He said he'd call us back, and didn't. That, combined with the fact that his email to us of two sentences had several grammar errors, tells me we'll be going with another realtor.
Wow. So I'm finally starting this blog, now that I've got something to blog about.
This will start out as a record of my pregnancy. I am now, by my estimation, between two weeks and a month pregnant. I'll find out for sure on Monday, when I go see Dr. Bukata, who may or may not end up being my ob for good. My friend Kitty (also my teacher, mentor, and HPS) is going to ask her doctor on Tuesday if he has any recommendations. The area they work out of is actually closer than where Dr. Bukata works out of, and the hospital they're based in... well, Kitty's aunt is the head of surgery... something. She schedules the nurses for surgery. Anyway, so things are looking interesting on that front.
We have something else big that's getting underway, sort of related to the baby and such, but I want to keep it under wraps until it's more underway than it is now. So that's that.
Today... ugh. Cookies and sweet pickles and a tuna salad sandwich. And more soymilk than I usually drink. We don't do regular cow's milk, because I have trouble with it. But I usually don't drink it, because we save it for tea and cereal, things like that. But cookies cannot be eaten without milk!
Very sleepy. I think I'll go to bed sometime soon.