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BPAL Madness!


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About TheLampades

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    evil enabler
  • Birthday October 31


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  • BPAL of the Day
    In Templum Dei
  • Favorite Scents
    Lampades, Spooky Action At a Distance, Winter Trees, Figure In The Attic Window, Black Phoenix, Pumpkin Pie Musk; Notes: Olive Blossom, Star Anise, Myrrh, Incense, Honey, Clove, Rosewood, Verbena, Bitter Almond, Bergamot, Ceylon

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    Art, books, writing, culture, lore, myths, perfumery, synthesia, colour theory, fake nails, photography, tea, & creating book cover art.
  • Mood
    Always weird


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  1. When you finally start doing sales & you are sending out your first packages & suddenly panic that you put the wrong things in the wrong boxes but IT’S TOO LATE NOW! 😳


    (Buyers, I was double checked by my mum, so don’t worry. I just have an anxiety disorder so… panicky.)

  2. TheLampades

    Cacao, Elemi & White Musk

    In the the decant, all I smell is a barky cacao. Wet: The cacao stays, but stops being so barky & smoothes out so nicely. The elemi rolls in with it & gives it a really nice light fennel scent (it's not really that, but it's the best approximation I've got for how elemi smells on me... sometimes it leans to a peppery, but not this time). Drydown: About 10 minutes in & I've decided this is the best of the cacao ones. All three elements are rolling in now & are blended really nicely. They are each working really well on my skin too. About an hour in & they haven't changed a lot, except that the white musk is a bit more centre stage than the others. Cacao is right behind it, but slowly fading. It reads like a "high end perfume" ideal. This would be something another brand would try to pull off as one of their pillars + chocolate & then market it for Valentines. It stays that way all the way through till it's gone. Lasted around 5 hours? Lower throw & very little sillage. Final thoughts? Turned rather high end perfume on me. It reminded me A LOT of Media (I tested them side by side later & they are similar in a few ways, with Media suggesting the same idea as what this turned into for me). It's not something I plan to get, but it's pretty.
  3. TheLampades

    Honey Hard Candy

    In the decant, this smells weirdly like berries? Candy, fake berries? Wet: Ok, this is like hard candy but flavoured with fake berry. Not, cough syrup, this is the really good kind, but still berry? Drydown: After about 15 minutes all I can think of is those little strawberry hard candies that come in those wrappers that look like little strawberries? The ones you feel like never exist outside a kind, elderly person & a restaurant check-out counter? I mean, you can find them, but it's a weird liminal place when you do. It's been about 2 hours & it's still those little strawberry candies, though, if I really think about it, I can pretend it's raspberry. Stayed that way all the way to fade. Faded out a bit waxy though, not in the beeswax way, but like, when those strawberry candies get real old & you open them & they look like wax? Yeah. Wear length was actually really good. Too good. Throw was low. Final thoughts? It's a unisex candy scent. I was hoping for something much different. I knew there was an unknown "candy" component to this, but to get no honey? I was very sad. Because I love honey & there was no honey. Just sneaky little strawberries.
  4. TheLampades

    Peach Vulva

    Sweet apricot, sugared amber, frankincense, golden cardamom, rice milk, and golden peach.  For me, in the decant this is pure peach. Like a fresh, juicy peach. Wet: Starts off as just apricot, really. I can't get much else, it's just a full blast of it, with maybe a bit of that original peach I smelled? Wow. Fast change. Drydown: Begins to dry into an almost apricot like cake? I think that’s the milk & sugared amber coming in on the apricot. Possibly the cardamom, though it’s not much if so. After a few more minutes, the apricot calms down enough that the peach comes back & this becomes a really nice mix of the two now, but it's still staying in a very cake/pastry area. It reminds me of something... not bad, but something I can't think of. About an hour later, it's all not changed much, save that it's blended together better & I can find the cardamom a bit more (not much) & think the frankincense is reading a bit honeyish to me? But it's barely there, so I am not sure I'm reading it at all. But I figured out what it reminds me of. It's not a cake. It's a peach cobbler. I smell like really fucking amazing peach cobbler with some apricots in it. I wanna eat it, not smell like it though. So, while this is a great scent, it's losing points very fast now. However, MAYBE I'm insane. I have messed up sinuses, so I'm gonna wait & ask the resident expert.... So two hours later & my mum (who will shank you for a peach cobbler) did not even have to be asked. She got within a foot of me & asked if I smelled peach cobbler. So, just to be mean, I swiped some on her arm & she had to wash it off after about 20 minutes because she felt that unless she was also going to get peach cobbler, that was against Geneva Conventions. In the end, this is a gorgeous scent... if I were a foodie. But I'm really not. Also, apparently, I'm breaking international laws if I am around my mum (I want to make a food joke, but the title of this perfume disallows that because it involves a mum joke). So. It lasted about 5 hours on me, with a decent throw. Thankfully, the throw shrunk up as time progressed or I might have been disowned. Final thoughts? This is a unisex foodie. I won't be getting a bottle & decant imp will move on. To a home where it tortures no one within throw range.
  5. TheLampades

    Unsubtle Euphemism

    I will be adding to this review once I finish testing this scent, but I just wanted to put up the small review from someone who tested my decant the other day & wanted to send me their review which includes a small quote of what I said they smelled like (since I know I used to base my buying on reviews, the more the better for someone unsure): I'll add my thoughts once I test it later. But she did smell really good when we went out for Mother's Day. The only time I tried it, I smelled like milk bread & anise, so maybe I'll do better now that it's more settled... once can hope.
  6. Can I ask, where did the periodic table scents come from? As a massive science nerd, I think those are neat! 

    1. doomsday_disco


      I received some decants in a swap from the lovely @Missanneshirleyofgg. They're prototypes that appear to have been around at Will Calls at New York Comic Con back in 2011 or so. Hopefully they'll be released one of these days!

    2. TheLampades


      That would be lovely if they are! I sometimes end up with science scents simply for the theme. 
      Thank you for the answer! Loved seeing the reviews! 

  7. TheLampades

    Long Night Moon

    For the 2020 blend: I honestly can't do my normal version of a review.I can't even figure out the notes. Whatever is in this that is not working on my skin, I now have an idea of what people who dislike the "poo" note that oudh can get. I could barely get my hand near my face. After about a half an hour, all I could say was it finally had some floral, but it was basically a poo garden, white very few flowers. I have no idea what note or combo of notes decided to go so badly, but I wish I could figure it out, because this is the first BPAL where it's not a matter of just "personal preference, I don't like it" it's an actual, "I cannot be near it." Which makes me sad. It had so many notes that do work on me & in the bottle it had a light floral with what seemed to be the jonquil coming to the front.
  8. TheLampades

    Strawberries & Honeycomb

    Was given a surprise decant of this & gave it a try. In the vial: Sugared strawberries. It reminds me of my mum eating cut up strawberries she would dip in sugar as a dessert. Wet: Candied strawberries. It's very strawberry, but not that artificial sweetener scent, nay nay. Proper strawberries. Nice & sticky with sugar. Dry: It's coming together really well! The Violet Crumble version I never knew I needed! Having had a lemon honeycomb chocolate bar once, this now has firmly made me want a strawberry one! It smells like I could eat it. The honeycomb note is the perfect sticky golden syrup sugar scent (I can almost hear the cronch) & the strawberries are still juicy sweet & fresh. After a few hours, the scent stayed pretty steady & very summery, but slowly morphed into an almost candied glacé scent. Sugary & no longer fresh fruit, but a candied one. The honeycomb has sort of melted into it's more base components of golden syrup & sugar, which is fine. Wear & Throw: It ended up being viable as a scent for about 7 hours & the throw was pretty solid for about as long. On me? It is unisex to perfume, but in the end, it's a candy scent. Final thoughts: I'm not sure I need a bottle. But I think I really need a Violet Crumble.
  9. I feel like there is a secret to reducer caps that I do not know & I am sad. I want to leave them in as I have spilled an entire (almost) bottle of BPAL once & they seem great for not having that happen again, but at the same time, twice now I have managed to pepper myself with enough perfume to alight the entire house in rosewood. 


    I will find the secret... or die trying. 

    1. hhelix


      I think you are just supposed to turn the bottle over and let a drip come out. You don't have to shake it or anything -- gravity will do the work.

  10. TheLampades

    Thirteen (13): February 2009

    Normally, I’ll do long reviews, but since this has plenty of reviews & it’s one of those scents you have to go looking for, let’s do a purely from an enjoyment stand point! This is so good. Oh my gods. The anise & allspice are just *chefs kiss* & the nutmeg & gingers make this like a soft gingerbread scent (gingerbread loaf?). I cannot stop smelling it. The drydown brings it more into a really dark, soft spice scent. The anise & brown sugar are in the front & I love it. The whole thing as a mellow, almost amber coloured vibe to it. It’s very comforting & I’d wear this as a sleep scent because as it dries, it really stops being gourmand in anyway. It’s more like living near a bakery, getting subtle ideas of scent or hints of ingredients, but not an aroma of a whole. I do not know how this would have smelled on me at release, but it’s aged in a really spectacular way. I’d wear this to bed, or over to a friends house for a do nothing visit. Mostly though, I’ll just wear this for me, as both a comfort scent & an enjoyment scent. No one ever has to smell it & that’s fine with me. Even better if it helps bring me a bit of luck in the coming times.
  11. When I read reviews & someone talks about a note they smell, but it's very clearly a lie, I always wonder why they do it. Why write a review on a scent you clearly haven't smelled? Especially when the reviews that come before or after yours will show that you are talking about something incorrectly? 


    I've seen this about 9 times now & it baffles me every. single. time. Though some are almost comical. Like an example is if they see something called like... "the scent of a dry, alkali lake bed" & then describe the aquatic notes. The lake water they smell. That kind of comical. Or comparing a violet to the smell of a violet crumble candy bar (honeycomb). 


    I dunno. It's been bugging me for weeks & I ran across another one the other day that was just WILD. 

    1. norsowideasachurchdoor


      Names are powerfully suggestive, so while I don't know how many people would actively lie about a note, I've seen a similar effect with people searching for and sometimes finding bourbon whiskey in their Bourbon vanilla blends, despite their irrelevance to one another. I won't write off that in some cases there probably remains a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses scent-as-fashion mentality. I haven't read extensively enough to catch obvious flukes, though I wonder if some of my reviews (a recent one mentioning jackfruit only because I happen to think it smells like cardamom) might sometimes make me appear to have the wrong bottle (or description) in hand.

    2. TheLampades


      Oh, no. I understand things like this. Fully. I mean more like... pineapple as an example (no one has done this, I’m using it as a point). They describe the apple notes they smell, with the pine notes. They talk about it being a scent they like because the ‘pineapple’ is such a specific type of apple scent, with its coniferous mix in. Then they’ll talk about how the perfume worked for them with that scent & how it worked with the other scents. Or why they think it’s was strange but an interesting change to see it with coconut. Or rum. Or brown sugar & cherry. 
      That’s the kind of lying I mean. 

  12. TheLampades


    Look, it was funny to make a crack at ℬrown Jenkℹ︎n because that’s based on a monster. I know better than to go for a god of any culture. Coconut & I have agreed it’s best if we live in separate universes & I made the mistake of crossing the line that says “my side.” So, I washed it off. However, to use a quote from the person who got it after me, “I don’t know why you hated it, it smells like a perfect day on the beach. The coconut was like haupia! It had the perfect amount of milk & coconut, with whatever that note was for the water. I loved it! I want it in the hair stuff they do! That would be amazing!” So, that will have to stand in. *Haupia is a coconut dessert.
  13. TheLampades

    Brown Jenkin

    A frimp from long forgotten times… In the imp: I’ll be honest, everyone was talking about this being a comfort scent one day & I was envious, so when I realised we had an imp of it, I didn’t stop & smell it, I didn’t even know what it SHOULD smell like, I just put a test patch on & immediately… Wet: ...regretted a lot of my choices in life. Being impulsive & covetous is one of those things. It’s two, but look, that requires me to do more soul searching than I want to do. The drydowns: After 15 minutes, I washed it off, because look… [let’s pretend for a second we’re on a recipe site & you have to endure my annoying life trauma before I tell you how to boil an egg] when I was young, I was ripped away from all I knew & forced to live on an island. Now, some people might be like, “But Lamp, kids love the beach! The ocean! That sounds great! Eternal summer!” Nay nay, I say [yeah, I watch her, shush], I was a fine little specimen of many generations of Irish & Welsh stock. There were some other cultures in there, but they were just as pathetically burnt by the great fire in the sky, so they weren’t gonna save me. So because of this, I was LOADED with sunscreen. LOADED. Like a little potato smothered in sour cream. It didn’t help. So, very quickly, I learned to just stay out of the sun, but this did not stop the scent of suntan lotion, oil, or even sunscreen (helpfully scented!) from reaching my little pre-beeple nose. So! Is this a comfort scent for me? I think we can answer that with a simple look at the notes. Even my love of incense cannot save this. The coconut is there. It creeps along like a ghost of white sandy beaches & it will burn me like the witch I am. So, 15 minutes was actually an impressive amount of time to let it linger. In all honesty, if I had stopped to really think about the name “Brown Jenkin” & the fact that there is a line of perfumes that come from the nightmarish world of Lovecraft, I should have just stopped at that point, but no. No, I was like, “I too want the love & comfort other’s find with this.” My hubris was rewarded with exactly what it deserved. So, in regard to its namesake? Well done, Beth. It’s not even a golf clap, it’s a full out, clap so hard my hands hurt. Wear & Throw: Don’t mock me. On Me: Look, let’s just stop. This isn’t even a real review anymore. You know it, & I know it. Final thoughts: You like coconut? You like those other notes? This little monster is for you. (For the record, this is not a bad scent. I've been told this is being over dramatic & "extra." I've been told it's actually a very nice floral coconut. For their betrayal, that person is definitely not buried in my garden, no. They are probably on the beach. With a Pina Colada.)
  14. TheLampades

    Squirting Cucumber

    A long forgotten frimp from the lab.... I do not know when I got it, it was in my mum's vanity. In imp: Grass Wet: Grass & what a cucumber tastes like. If you could smell bright green, which some people can [but I doubt it smells the same to all of them], it would be this. In the drydowns: It doesn’t really change much. It pretty much declares it’s a cucumber & doesn’t really change it’s position on that. Which, I don’t know what I expected, given the name. Maybe I’m grateful there was nothing to give the idea it was squirting anything. It remained a cucumber. Wear & Throw: It stayed a cucumber for a solid 4 hours, then it sort of rolled away to be a figment of a cucumber. The throw, thankfully, was low. I was going to make a squirting pun, but it even grossed me out. On Me? It’s unisex. I mean, I don’t really know what else a cucumber can be. I guess you could make a cologne pun, or even a perfume pun, but in the end, everyone can have a nice time with a cucumber. Final thoughts: I won’t judge, but I do not want to smell like a salad bar & that’s the kind of cucumber it wants to be. Not a fancy spa where they put slices on your eyes, or in fizzy water. It’s a gas station salad bar & that’s not my thing.
  15. TheLampades

    Your most evocative Halloween/Autumn scents 🎃

    I want to just pitch in for "Figure in Attic Window" as an atmospheric one. It is a very peaceful sort of scent (to me) & reminds me of walking up long paths ways in the gloom with wind rustling trees. Very autumn in the North West, or just anywhere it gets cold & has seasons. It's a very grey-purple scent & I love it. Also, Jack... love it. Very traditional scent notes in there & cozy feeling. I'd also throw in for Nosferatu. I always describe it to people as a mulled wine, autumnal scent & I always think of it as more of an apple cider than a wine scent (maybe because I've never had good wine to save my life, just those fruity wines). Blood is also a good autumnal one, very clove forward (to me, maybe it's not quite for others). Perversion is listed among my fall scents (I believe I have it down in my notes as "autumn goth cookie candle"). Those are some of my long standing "get in the spooky mood" favs that are always around (save for the first one, that is a brand new love that I need 80 of).