Jeni Mullen

Quintessential BPAL filth. Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes. Comparing this to my 2015 vintage smut, you can really tell the difference. Both are fantastic, but the hair gloss is brighter and more sugar than musk. I can only assume that this is due to the former aging. There is less of an in your face quality to this hair gloss and its one that I am more than willing to wear to work or out. If you are a fan of musks you are going to need this. If you are a fan of smut oil? You're going to love this too.

This is one of those perfect BTPT red musk scents. It's in the family with Holliday and Red Shirt Diaries. Sweet and spicy and super sexy.

I was not at all a fan of this in the bottle. It's extremely strong and smells like fake strawberries...sort of like a scratch and sniff sticker. Thankfully, I know better than to immediately discard something without spraying it. Spraying this is like spraying Boo Hair Gloss. If you don't get out of the room quickly, it will choke you and make your nose feel like it's going to bleed. Thankfully, when it settled into your hair, it is AMAZING. The fake strawberry and candle smell transforms into really, just bitten into strawberries. It's like I'm sitting in a strawberry field. It's wonderful!

The orange scent in this is light and airy and everything you would think should be in a perfume for spring. It's very different from the sorts of smells I usually like (heavy in sugar or extremely woodsy). In fact, I found that the "wood amber" doesn't have a wood quality to it at all. It is a nice base for the orange, warming it up, but otherwise, not what I expected and still marvelous. I don't get a creamsicle effect at all. I don't actually find this even remotely foody. The tea takes awhile to come out and when it does, it's herbal and again, not foody. I'm surprised that I like this as much as I do but I really do like it!

Dried blue and indigo fruits, iris root, and white oudh. This is a dark, heavy sort of floral. The dried fruit is just that, dry. It actually has a more wine-like quality to it than you'd think reading the description. This feels close and romantic., not bright and airy like I was picturing. The name actually makes a whole lot of sense: It feels like you're in a lady's parlor after dinner and drinks in some sort of Victorian or Edwardian manor house playing cards in mixed company. Scandelous and feminine. I don't actually think I would like to wear it but I do think I would like to be in a room with cocktails and a fancy dress that smelled like this.

Holy whateveryoubelievein-- Cranberry. Genuine, real, sweet-tart cranberries! There a bit of a happy evergreen Christmas tree scent in the background but this is sooooo good. I'm so glad I got a decant. This definitely feels wintery so I don't think I need a bottle but I'm loking forward to busting this decant out next year!

In the bottle and wet on my skin this was extremely faint and smelled sort of like those sugared orange slice gummy candies. It was very sweet and had a sort of fake orange scent that I thought was weird at first but kind of liked. After ten minutes, the sweet orange-aid scent dwindled down to sour rinds. I ended up washing it off.

I don't get candy in this at all. Wet, it was doughy and sweet like jam. I didn't get apricots or peaches or anything, just something like generic jam smell if that means anything? It faded away to pure oatmeal as it dried and there it stayed. Oatmeal.

One squirt is all you need! The blueberry is strong, sweet and in your face. It smells like you just warmed up a can of blueberry pie filling!!! It's definitely a heavier scent, something you'd want to wear in cold weather instead of warm because the scent itself is so warm. There's very little cream to the hair gloss, but you can make out the crust once the blueberry starts to settle. I have chin length hair and used this after the shower as a detangler. It lasted all day and I was given compliments by the girls at Lush and my trader Joe's check out guy!

I can see where the cookie dough comparison comes in. The gloss is extremely strong, one squirt goes a very long way and lasted all day (the way Boo and Eat Me hair gloss do). Unfortunately, the chocolate has a sort of chalky scent, not a really rich or deep chocolate scent. I know some people prefer it but I was hoping for a more Oreo-esque scent. It is extremely sweet though.

In the imp: SO EXCITED!!! This smells like apple pie filling, but perhaps not as foodie? On me this was very fake apple pie, almost like a candle. It had a weird sort of strong, bitey APPLEness to it. I hate to describe it this way but it was a little like the Bath and Body Works air scented a a coworker loves. It's not BAD. But it comes off as fake on me.

This is my jam. It's my favorite perfume (though it can go a little fake vanilla on me from time to time). Not so with the hair gloss! It smells like cakes and coconut rum, lingering without ever being too overwhelming. I was so pleased for it to have the staying power of a hair gloss like Boo. And I'm very glad I have my five bottles. I wear it almost every day and spray it all over my clothing and scarf too!

I found my decant to be pretty darn heavy on the leaves smell and loads upon loads of patch. I actually found myself washing my hair after the test. It was just very strong on me and I prefer my scents more mild.

A decant of red shirt diaries and a decant of snake charmer hair gloss never leave my toiletry kit. They are just in the small 1oz spray bottles you can get from Target that cost 79 cents.

This turns 100% Granny Smith apple on my skin, like I've rubbed the fruit all over. I don't get any of the clove of the vanilla until almost half an hour in. It does something beautiful and mellow at the half hour or so mark but the throw by that point is so minimal that I have to press my nose to my wrist. It does smell amazing but having to wait so long and then losing the throw does not a keeper make.