smallvoice

Wow. That just made me all sorts of happy reading the present your boy got you for Christmas... what a wonderful, creative and romantic thing to do!

I know! I'm so, so, so lucky.

My boy looooves my long hair. I never know what to do with it. I figure, it's going to waste on me. Might as well donate to somebody who needs it! I love growing it out and then doing a dramatic chop. I need to do that. I go through so much shampoo with it long.

Loving your Bjork hair!

The state of grace is what drew me to the name when I was discussing it with the boy. And it's my name now... I'm sort of in awe. I didn't expect to feel a shift in myself... but, after all, words have power.

I am with you; being the least graceful person I know -tripping, stumbling, stuttering, stammering - having a name to live up to would definitely be inspirational. Grace connotes elegance and refinement and all sorts of lovely polished ideas.

 

Best of luck Grace! And even if you still trip or bump your head every now and then you are still every bit entitled to your new name

Hee. Thanks. I think I'll trip and bump my head more than once in a while. If there's a wall, I will find a way to walk into it. But you're right; it's something to live up to... which I'll do to the best of my abilities... which might not be saying much!

I'm feeling sort of guilty about not getting this oil, due to the fact that it's my birth month, as well... and I know it's an excuse I'm feeding myself! But I still want it. I'm consoling myself with the knowledge that I'll probably be able to swap for it. I don't have any clever thoughts for your member-title. It's a lot of pressure! I know I'll fret over mine when I have enough points.

sure!! I'll do those ones next time I'm feeling artistic. hehe... I do have one for Embalming Fluid... should be one of the first few... I think if you click on the category "icons" (or, when I post, it is in my sig. hehe). I'm glad you're putting some to use! YA!

 

So you do! I don't know how I missed it- well, it's kinda subtle, and I was skimming, I think. Thanks!

Your icons are gorgeous. I'd love to see a couple of my favourites, if you're bored and inspired sometime. Jailbait, Alice, Shadow Witch Orchid, Hamadryad, Dorian, Embalming Fluid- or some LE's: Arkham Revisited, Shub Niggurath... That's all my brain will process right now! At any rate, I've got a few of your icons in rotation, so thank you!

I am a firm believer in karma. I have to admit that I have, occasionally, taken pleasure in seeing it in action... and not the good kind. Ultimately, I know that kind of thing doesn't earn me good karma points or whatever, but it was sure worth it. Heh.

That's really an impressive amount of time, so don't be hard on yourself. It sounds amazing, really! I've always wanted to be bold enough (and tough enough) to get a tattoo, but I doubt I will. It's an incredible art form, I think. Hope it's feeling better!

Your entry was just so interesting and thought-provoking, in it made the wheels start spinning right away.

 

First, I remember when I was about 10 to 12 years old, my parents went through Salt Lake City on vacation, and my mom wanted to stop and do the LDS headquarters tour. Of course, you can't get into the big temple unless you're a member of the church, but I do recall them telling us on the tour that if you're married by the church, you're married forever. And even then, my little pea brain thought: "Damn! Now THAT is a LONG time." It was what stuck in my head the most about the Salt Lake City experience, other than driving out to the Great Salt Lake and bobbing around.

 

When I was reading your entry, I started thinking about how Buddhists often say that we keep running into the same people over and over again in our lifetimes. There's a karmic connection that keeps getting played out. Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people to look at their mate and think: "You are you my darling? How long have we known each other? What is our connection?" I think that is so sweet and so soft and so open. It honors the connection.

 

So I see the LDS tradition as a similar way to regard a relationship as sacred. Of course, it gets that authoritative Christian bent, which, to me, avoids acknowledging the tenderness of many connections, and even numbs out deeper consideration of the intense emotion that bubbles around them. And often it creates fear. I know it's because I embrace the Buddhist notions, but I don't think you should be worried, because you and your Mister will be together, no matter what.

 

And that's the word from valentina, comparative religion geek and insufferable romantic!

Thank you for this. I especially love the Buddhist quote. There is a part of me that strongly believes in reincarnation. Even before I had a grasp of what that really meant, I felt like there were people in my life that were always going to be a part of it; both good and bad. I still feel that way. I feel that way about strangers I've encountered only once or twice, and I feel that way about family members- but not all of them. I don't know that there is a gauge of how many people remain close and how many cycle out. Maybe it's dependent upon the person.

Your experience in Salt Lake was interesting to me. I remember learning about eternal families and thinking, "...ugh. I'd just as soon not be sealed to my parents." I also had the reaction of thinking eternity sounded like an awfully long time to spend with someone. Now, it sounds about right.

I think you are right. I don't think we will have to spend eternity apart. I just think that I will always worry, just a little bit.

I think a nontraditional blue wedding dress will be just lovely! I'm always so pleasantly suprized when I see a bride in something other than white. I recall seeing brides in the white dress with so much material around them that they've almost vanished! Anyway, you will look lovely and luminous and everyone will get to see you looking like that. Like I said before, a few pictures on you blog in the coming weeks would be lots of fun... hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge...

 

Congratualtions!!!

Thanks- I don't know that I'm a ton calmer, but I am excited about the wedding. I will have a few people there with digital cameras, so I'm sure a couple will end up here. Anyway! Much running around to do. Take good care!

-Cor

Thanks, everyone! I'm sure it will ultimately pull together, I'm just nervous. But it's looking like there's less to be nervous about! I'm so very excited! Thank you again for all the well wishing.

I'm so sorry this is happening. Why are weddings so stressful? They're supposed to be fun, dammit!

 

Just try to stay focused on why you're going through all this: to become married to the wonderful man you found. We got married in Vegas at the Paris hotel, and had a little reception afterwards with cake and hors d'oeuvres ("horse dovers" as we fancy folk say). Mom asked me later if I noticed the cake was crooked! It wasn't on tiers, but 2-3 layers stacked on top of each other and was tipping over a bit, and I never even noticed. So there's the importance of the cake at our wedding.

 

snip

Thank you for that! You're very right.

Hee! I just had a wholly inappropriate mental image of one of those kiddie birthday cakes, but with a Godzilla figurine with a bridal veil sort of smashing through it. If anyone deserves an honest to goodness Bridezilla moment, it's you. Between all the dress shenanigans and now this cake crisis... right now I wish two things: 1) that I could get up there to help and 2) that I could bake worth a darn (that's The Mister's area of expertise. I'm too improv for good baking.) because I would be all about the emergency cupcake brigade.

 

You've got a good man to help you through all this mess and in the end (after all the chaos and craziness) that's what's gonna stick with you.

 

In the meantime, I'm getting right pissed off for you too!

 

PS Lovin' the fortune cookies! I wanted to do them for our wedding but didn't get my act together enough to order them.

Heh! We were at the bakery today, and they had a pirate ship cake for a kid's birthday, and I was like, "Man, we missed out. We totally should've had a pirate theme instead." He was more inclined toward the spiderman cake, however.

Thanks for your well wishes- they are much appreciated!

I'm sorry you're feeling sad right now! And, if I have time to breathe in the next couple of days, I will probably take you up on the offer of ze venting.

I just wanted to offer

 

I've had more than one bridal breakdown, and they are getting more frequent.

 

If you need someone to vent to, let me know

darkity's response made me think of a wedding reception that I attended recently, and the couple had a middle eastern bakery make their cake, and it was astonishing. They had a whipped cream frosting with a few decorations on it. It wasn't the traditional tower cake with the traditional frosting, but oh my, it was delicious. Everyone commented that it was the best wedding cake they could remember eating. Did I say how good it was?

 

I think a distraught bride's entreaties can get a bit of attention, and don't hesitate to pull out some drama. What the hell, you deserve to!

It sounds gorgeous. The boy is being protective and trying to keep me out of the line of stress as much as possible. Sooo, he thinks it's best to just let my mother bake the round cakes and... it's going to be a disaster.

Y'know, I'd rather have a plain cake that was really tasty than a fancy cake that was gross... but I have a feeling I'm going to get a really fugly plain cake (not a lovely, simplistic cake- which I sort of wanted- but a truly fugly cake) that tastes disgusting. At least there'll be cream puffs and fortune cookies.

We'll laugh about it afterwards, right?

Thanks! I wouldn't hesitate to use the drama, but we don't have the money to cover a last minute cake, which is part of the reason I'm so furious about the way this happened.

Holy s***, hon! I'm... freaking out a bit for you. Which is totally unhelpful. I've been trying to brainstorm a workaround... did your friend have any alternate plans for you? What a... horrible last minute bomb to drop!

 

How fancy pants do you want your cake? Are you near any major pockets of Asian people? I was thinking of some sort of fancy looking Japanese dessert... thingies in lieu of cake. Or at least a basic (read: easy/inexpensive/last-minute-orderable) cake with Japanesey embellishments (cherry blossom-shaped marzipan?)

 

I'm so sorry this is happening!

Well, I didn't care how fancy it was, and then when I got with her, I got really excited about how it was going to look (edible flowers! black frosting on sattellite cakes!) and now... I don't know. My mom is going to bake cake mixes for it, which is incredibly nice of her (she's borrowing pans from a friend- they're round, not square, but I can't be picky at this point) but it makes me so mad, because she shouldn't have to do it. I suggested cupcakes, which she shot down as being more difficult to decorate. I suggested brownies and ice cream, and she rolled her eyes. I don't know. It's just... WTF?? Also, nobody will do any wedding cake without a week's notice. So... There will be cake, it just won't be... tasty. And that's sad, because it could've been if we'd known sooner that she couldn't do it... I'm so freaking angry.

Thank you so much for your support. The boy has been really calm about it all (to try and keep me calm) but it's nice to have my panic and anger validated. Your suggestions were really good ones, I just wish there were more time.

Diva! I clicked on your name rather than your blog title, so I ended up on your profile page. You and I share the same birthdate, although I am much, much, much older. However, Martha Stewart shares our birthdate and she's even older than me, so I shall take consolation in that.

 

So you had a nice blaze of Leo anger yesterday! I think Leos have a certain birthright to externalize some fire every now and then. So you externalized on the forum. No biggie. Besides, you are a Leo and getting ready for your wedding, so that doubles your right to blow your cork. And you didn't blow your cork, anyway... you just got vehemently opinionated and like I said, you are a Leo!

 

Rawr!

 

Your fellow Lioness (Leo sun, Leo rising, Gemini moon = Just Plain Bipolar)

I mean this in the best way- I never would've guessed you were significantly older than I am. You have a very youthful energy- I'm thinkin' it's the feline.

-Cor

You're not a cheapskate at all, I think that's incredible that you are able to put together an event like this and not break the bank. My mind boggles when I think of all the freakin money that gets spent on weddings.

 

I notice you didn't mention "pictures at no cost" - regardless, I hope we get to see some anyway!

Ooh! Actually! Pictures at no cost! They won't be professional, but I know a few people with good digital cameras, and my cousin wants to be a photojournalist, and she just got a really, really nice camera- Plus we're sticking disposables on tables to let the guests take some pictures. I will definitely see about getting some posted when we see the results.

Darkity: Yeah... I just didn't expect to get so freaked out. I did try and make my apology as sincere as possible, as I try and never apologise for things I'm not sorry for, but I was worried my tone would be interpreted as snide there, too. I think it was Scylla's giant leap from "I had this blend done long before Underpants came out" to "You're saying Beth stole the idea from you?" was what did it, but there had to be more to it than just that. It was about more than just the forums, at that point. Ugh. I hate drama. Thank you for your support, and I love the monster/stick analogy. It's amusing, and so perfectly true. Aaand, I'm glad you caught the bit I wrote about you. You really made this round awesome for me. It makes me want to try harder next time.

Valentina: Leo ahoy! I don't know my rising sign; I need to find my exact time of birth. Whatever it is tends to keep the Leo pretty well tamed, since I'm generally very non-confrontational, and I try to be conscious of how my words can effect people. It wasn't as bad as it might've been, but it was still pretty awful, anyway. Somehow, the fact that Martha Stewart was born on my birthday makes me feel yucky. In another amusing coincidence, my SO was born on the 4th, so he never has an excuse to forget my birthday! It's awfully convenient. Thank you for the words of support. I was feeling pretty awful after yesterday.

 

S'OK. Breathing is good. Tummy rubs are even better.

I just... Exploded all over the place in that thread. It was awful; like my fingers were possessed by demons or something. And I HATE confrontation. I was just a wreck yesterday. It shouldn't have erupted like it did on the forums. And then the responses after that... ugh. I felt awful. And, worse, I wanted to perpetuate the fight. It was just a bad day for anxiety.

Congratulations on getting married soon. Well, there's nothing like mixing good stress (the buildup to the big wedding day) with bad stress (parental divorce dredging up old business). It makes me tired to think about it.

 

While I'm sure it's difficult not to think about everything that's going on with your mother leaving your father, first and foremost, focus upon enjoying yourself. That sounds incredibly trite, but it's true. Sometimes when you grow up with a really narcissitic parent, you tend to overcompensate in the opposite direction and spend too much energy worrying about and caring for others. This comes from someone who knows what it's like to have a very self-centered parent!!!

 

And the title of your entry has had David Bowie music playing in my head all day long!

Thank you very much for the encouragement. It really does mean a lot. I do have trouble really enjoying myself, though I'm trying to get better. I love my mom to pieces, and so I really want to be strong for her, which makes it difficult to be excited about getting married, too. All this is happening sort of secretively, and it's going to be a whole big ordeal, just not the same sort. This one's going to work. Anyway, really- thank you.

-Cor

I adore your icons, by the way. Oh! And David Bowie isn't bad to have in your head, right?

I'm so sorry about your wedding dress! That's horrible! Can you send it back?

 

I'm sure your swapee will appreciate any creative gesture. It really is the thought that counts.

I don't have time to send it back, so I'm going to have to get creative there, too. I'm almost at the month mark- wow! I have so much left to do.

I adore my swappee, so I really want to make her happy. I appreciate the encouragement!

I am SO out of the loop. I was totally thinking: "OH NO! They canceled 'Everybody Hates Chris'! I didn't even know you could vote for shows!" Because I'm out of touch with pop culture and gah.

 

OK. Gotcha. Idol. Sheesh. Which one was Chris? (And just as full disclosure I am a total nutjob for ANTM, so I'm definitely not on any high and mighty anti-reality-TV thing here. I'm just cluless. )

Woah, it just ate my comment. Dude, that's not cool.

So, your comment made me laugh out loud, startling the SO and his cat both. Thanks for that! Chris is bald, built, and sexy as hell. He's made of charisma. I picked him as the winner from his audition, and felt confident with that pick until... well, tonight. So now the winner is pretty clear cut, although Bo was the chosen winner last season, and that didn't work out, so who knows? Hopefully this'll post!