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BPAL Madness!
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Miss Ray of effin' Sunshine

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valentina

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I was late, as usual, for work (it's a slow time of the year and no one really cares), so I did my usual run to the coffee house. I was still in my weird semi-funk that started last night. So here's what happened.

 

I got out of my car, and a guy who works at a store next door, who I visit with a lot, is getting off his bike. He's gay, but he's very sweet about giving his female friends compliments, so he started whistling and yelling that my outfit deserved a hug. So he ran over and gave me a hug.

 

Then, sitting outside the coffeehouse, was one of the characters who frequents the place. This guy seems like a bit of a burn-out, although he bikes a lot and is pretty good shape, although he was sitting around talking to me about long-distance cycling as he smoked his cigarette. (People who do things like that crack me up, I think it's exquisitely amusing.) I don't know his entire story, except that he has been around and around and around. He likes to tell me that he's in love with me, which always confused me, because I was sure that this guy is gay, but I think the honest truth is that he loves everyone so much that he sleeps with men and women. He just can't help himself, you know. So much love, so little time... Last week he told me that his name means "wandering gypsy" in Czech (yeah, right) and now he calls me his "gypsy girl." So I've been called worse, and actually, I like that moniker.

 

I noticed the barrista who normally works there in the early mornings was standing outside talking to someone in the parking lot. I walked in to find one of the owners there, in a very weird mood. He blurted out me that he and the barrista wouldn't be working together any more, because they just got into a big fight in front of customers. I tried to sympathize, but he was about ready to cry and he couldn't talk.

 

I went back outside to talk to Mr. Wandering Gypsy, who is friends with both the barrista and the owner. The barrista then drove past in her car, stopped and yelled out the window: "Just so you know, I just got fired. Just so you know." I'm thinking, hmmm... I just thought you got moved to night shift, not fired. I think she'll still have a job if she wants it -- she was probably fired when she walked out, but the owner had started to change his mind and come up with other options.

 

The Wandering Gypsy and I visited a bit and I discovered he's not the brain-dead slacker that I thought he was, he's just a character and a horny slut, but otherwise an OK sort. I went to work and he went in to talk to the owner and try to figure out what the story was regarding the firing and/or reassignment of hours.

 

I got to the office to discover a phone message from a friend announcing that she'd spent $150 to purchase something from a dermatologist that's supposed to make your eyelashes grow. Then she called me to tell me the same thing one more time. Considering she called me about 5 times a day Monday through Wednesday to obsess about her job, this is at least a change. Do I ever call this woman and freak out about my problems? No.

 

Then I got a phone call from a woman who used to work across the hall from me, until she had a stroke. Her optic nerve was affected and she sees prisms if she doesn't wear special glasses. I feel very badly for her, but she was a treacherous and difficult person to deal with professionally. Most people in this building stayed the hell away from her. I used to be cordial enough with her, and apparently she has decided that I am a good friend. That is so sad -- she had so few friends that someone who was merely polite with her is a good friend. She was upset I hadn't responded to her email from last Friday and wanted to make sure she hadn't offended me. I feel sorry for her, being stuck at home all the time, and I'm sure she needs human contact. I'll talk to her every now and then, just because if I were in the same situation, I'd want as many outside world contacts as possible. That's one of those things where I'll invoke karma, and say it just must be part of my karma.

 

But. Le sigh. I get really tired of being a ray of fucking sunshine or a wailing wall. Nevermind that most of my troubles are things that I won't or can't share with anyone, much less acquaintances. And a lot of my troubles are so sterotypical that they embarass me. I would sound like a composite of the "Sex And The City" characters, but mainly Carrie. That alone could get me in a bad mood; can't I have more unique "issues?" I'm just joking here. None of us want to have issues or problems or ill health. I am Miss Crabbypants and this morning I've seen someone lose their job and talked to someone who can't see unless she wears special glasses to make the prism-vision go away.

 

It is all a matter of perspective, I say, and yet... I still want what I want and I want it now. Waaaah! But I better not say that, I'll probably get it, and then ask "What was I thinking????"

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Wow, Valentina, I totally empathize with you. I have experienced the same type of situation; being a rock for everyone. It's difficult, but don't feel like it is something that you should change. I had an experience today where I helped someone get a promotion, so although sometimes there are shitty experiences, there are also times to help someone out.

 

And the woman with prism-vision really appreciates you I am sure. I have known people with cronic health problems that have been completely shut out from the world and just a phone call or a visit makes their day.

 

This is a really corny/pollyanna comment; so who is little miss sunshine now? :twisted:

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Dude, I say it's better to be the ray of sunshine and have some laughs then join in all the freakin' wailing. God knows, I'm one of the most dark and cynical people I know, but most people don't realize it unless they've really been around me a lot. Instead, I have become the clown who tries to make everyone laugh and take things less seriously. However, I'm the absolute worst at being supportive for people really in need of emotional support and refuse to let emotional vampires breach my boundaries. (I'm closely related to one and am ever hypervigilant :twisted:) If they need serious help, they're gonna have to find it somewhere else.

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Yeesh! Any one of those contacts any given day would be enough to put a little funk in my trunk (and not in the good way) but all at once like a big ol' Crabbypantsing snowball? Blerg.

 

I also go the clown route, but I'm a really dark and depressing sort of clown. My ridicule is most often reserved for myself in a complicated game of "one-down-man-ship" between me and the rest of the world. "Oh you think you've got it rough? Well let me tell you about my troubles in a hilarious, and yet slightly discomforting, way."

 

Maybe a little dip back in the introverts' cave will help you to recoup psychic balance.

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Thank you all for your encouragement! A little empathy goes a long way in helping me maintain my sanity.

 

I just got back from a long lunch with another story, and now I am just laughing at how my day is going, because it's like something from a Richard Linklater movie (especially "Slacker" or "Waking Life.")

 

I went back to the coffee house and the owner is no longer teary-eyed and is feeling rather relieved. I found out (from the girls in the import store down the way) that the barista who was terminated had not been popular with other baristas. I knew she was a little domineering, but whew, I didn't know how bad. In this person's defense, she has a real nutcase for a dad and her stepmom (now divorced from the dad) is damn near certifiable. That she has a few, uh, adjustment problems is not shocking.

 

On the way back to work, I stopped at the natural food co-op to get a little something to eat, and the very nice, chatty guy who was in line behind me asked if I was someone who had gone to his high school. Since I'm from a small town and he named the town, I turned and looked at him in amazement. He knew my name, and I said: "And you're...?" He was a senior when I was a freshman. He was really really cute. It was kind of like Molly Ringwald's character in "Sixteen Candles" running into Jake, the dreamy senior class guy, after a really long time. He didn't look so bad for me to declare that The Bloom Is Off The Rose, but the rose was looking a bit sun-beaten and tattered, and not in a Clint Eastwood cowboy sort of way. He wanted to sit and visit for a bit, and long story short, he used to work for a power company in California, got in an industrial accident, and had his right leg amputated below the knee. His attitude is really great -- he went back to school to become a drug-alcohol counselor, and that's what he's doing right now. And it wasn't like he was needy, he was just catching up with me. But I'm sure we talked more today than we ever did in high school! :twisted:

 

OK, so I will stop bitching (even internally to myself) about MY life. It is difficult for me not to believe that some cosmic force is trying to bitchslap me into perkiness. In addition to talking to someone who got fired and someone who has had a stroke, now I find that the dreamy senior class guy of my freshman year has a prosthetic lower leg. How weird is that?

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it sounds like the high school pal is still pretty cute-so wants gonna happen,woman:)

 

Actually, I think I scared the hell out of him! :twisted: I was so sweet and shy in high school.

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I'm a little late to the discussion, but I swear when I was reading your post I was thinking, "Dang, she has more things happen to her in one day than I do all week!" It does sound like a Linklater movie! :twisted:

 

I'm sure you project a strong energy which attracts people who don't have that energy -- and no, you're not expected to be Miss Ray of Fucking Sunshine every minute. Like in "Poltergeist" when the lost souls are attracted to Carol Anne's life force: "It's very strong, it gives off its own illumination." Yes, I can quote that entire movie.

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Wow, "Poltergeist." I always remember that weird little lady who was almost a midget and her weird voice. Didn't she play the organ in a church? She freaked me out!

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<aside>

After one of our massive house dusting/mopping/reorganizing throw downs, The Mister will put his hands on his hips and intone in a falsetto Southern accent: "This house is clea-yah". He's really way too good at it. :twisted:

</aside>

 

Alls I remember about that actress is that her character in "Picket Fences" died by falling in to a chest freezer.

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<aside>

After one of our massive house dusting/mopping/reorganizing throw downs, The Mister will put his hands on his hips and intone in a falsetto Southern accent: "This house is clea-yah". He's really way too good at it. :lol:

</aside>

 

Alls I remember about that actress is that her character in "Picket Fences" died by falling in to a chest freezer.

 

:twisted:

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Wow, "Poltergeist." I always remember that weird little lady who was almost a midget and her weird voice. Didn't she play the organ in a church? She freaked me out!

Funny you should mention that -- she played the organ for Samantha's sister's wedding in Sixteen Candles! We came full circle! :twisted:

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Wow, "Poltergeist." I always remember that weird little lady who was almost a midget and her weird voice. Didn't she play the organ in a church? She freaked me out!

Funny you should mention that -- she played the organ for Samantha's sister's wedding in Sixteen Candles! We came full circle! :twisted:

 

Dawndie! You get to yell "Scoreboard!" :lol:

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I think you Scoreboarded -- you got to talk to fake-Jake Ryan and I didn't :lol:

 

Actually, Mr. Wandering Gypsy, who I talked to in the morning, is probably the grown-up version of Anthony Michael Hall's character in "Sixteen Candles." This isn't life imitates "Seinfeld," it's life imitates "Sixteen Candles!" :twisted:

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