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Post-Update: Forum Issues

Failmingo

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Posts posted by Failmingo

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Dearest revelers and lustful onlookers, the Lupercalia update is now complete! For the NSFW fully-illustrated effect, browse here at the store.
    (Please note: don't put any of our products on your naughty bits. The fiery loin stoking is intended to be figurative, not literal. You'll get a really, really fiery stoke if you don't heed this common sense warning.)
    Gustav Klimt's ode to masturbation: pale sandalwood, white cream vanilla, and a touch of tea rose.
    Quintessential BPAL filth. Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes.
    ++VD CLAW POLISH
    So much pink! So much glitter! So many vulvas!
    Vulva-pink crème.
    Shimmering French pink with a mist of silver.
    An ejaculation of red glitter.
    Toe-shoe pink with an iridescent lilac sheen.
    Ivy-green crème.
    Labial pink with fine iridescent glitter.
    A shocking hot pink glitter with opalescent purply glitter bits!
    An enflamed fuchsia glitterbomb!

     

    ++SMOOCHES

    We are thrilled to announce another Black Phoenix Trading Post / Villainess collaborative project! BPTP and Villainess have teamed up to create Bliss Smooch - concocted by Villainess, scented by Black Phoenix!
    About the Smooches...
    "The Smooch is a Villainess original; a multi-tasking product cleverly disguised as the most indulgent thing to ever touch your skin.
    We start with a carefully balanced blend of feather-light (yet vitamin-rich) grapeseed oil, and an exotic vegetable butter - mango, unrefined shea, or black cocoa, coconut oil to melt at skin temperature, and lashings of cherry kernel oil. And then we add the good stuff; raw sugars or sea salts to exfoliate without any rough edges to abrade your gorgeous skin, crushed botanicals or bright ticklish jojoba beads to gently slough off dead skin cells. When you get a Smooch into the damp luxury of a warm bath or shower, they emulse into an impossibly light milky lotion that rinses away cleanly. Exfoliating and moisturising in one easy step, Smooch leaves you smooth and supple - in other words, perfectly kissable!
    This Moisturizing Body Scrub is both water-activated and preservative free. To maintain their luscious textures, avoid pre-activating them, and to prevent microbial growth keep them as dry as possible during use. We recommend using a Smooch completely within 30 days of your first use."
    Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

    - Oscar Wilde

    Pink roses, sugared pomegranate, apple blossom, white ginger, and velvet-white vanilla.
    Unfailing golden arrows dipped in lust: shimmering amber and copal with red musk, red patchouli, beeswax, hay sugar, and a drop of Turkish rose.
    ++THE GARDEN OF APHRODITE
    Inspired by the art of Franz Von Bayros, we present the Garden of Aphrodite!
    Marshmallow root, cream vanilla, Roman chamomile, and cocoa butter.
    Opulent gilded red musk and ivory-encrusted vanilla with orris root, smoked amber, red patchouli, and red oudh.
    Vanilla-infused cardamom and sleek black patchouli.
    3-year aged patchouli, tree moss, rose thorn, leather, and vanilla oudh.
    ++SHUNGAS
    Lemon peel and white sandalwood with sweet amber and black tea.
    Tangerine, red musk, ti leaf, vanilla orchid, and white honey.
    Chinese peony aflutter with gilded vanilla, sweet honey, peach, and spiced carnation.
    French lavender, white frankincense, Himalayan cedar, and jasmine sambac absolute.
    Green tea, juniper leaf, and honeyed green apple.
    Sandalwood, tiare, white oudh, and white amber.
    Strawberry cream, white musk, and orris root.
    Dried blue and indigo fruits, iris root, and white oudh.
    Blood orange, wood amber, and white tea.
    Sugared red musk, cardamom, and honey.

     

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Dear Friends,

    It's been nearly six years since we've revisited our shipping fees, and in the meantime postal rates have continued to climb. As much as it galls us to make pricing decisions that affect certain customers more than others, especially our faithful fans overseas, BPAL and BPTP have rolled out new rates, effective immediately, for both domestic and international orders.
    Below is our new shipping grid as of January, 2016. Small adjustments may still have to be made as we endeavor to include everyone. [uPDATE: AMENDED TO CORRECT DOMESTIC SHIPPING AMOUNTS]
    BPAL domestic shipping rates for the US:
    Orders totaling up to $175.00: $7.50
    All domestic orders of $175 or greater ship for free.

    BPAL international shipping rates, by country/region:

    Canada: $25
    UK / Western Europe: $34
    Eastern Europe / South America / South Africa: $34
    Oceania: $35
    Japan: $32

    All international orders of $300 or greater ship for free.

    If your country isn't listed here or it's unclear what your rate would be, please email us at: answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com

    Black Phoenix Trading Post international rates:
    Canada
    Flat rate: $23
    Medium flat rate: $44
    Large flat rate: $57
    Everywhere else:
    Flat rate: $32
    Medium flat rate: $65
    Large flat rate: $85
    Metered post for larger packages:
    1 lb. - $45
    2 lb. - $50
    3 lb. - $55
    4 lb. - $58
    Once again, we hope you will see the difficulty of our position and understand these rates are beyond our control.
    Sincerely,
    The Lab/Trading Post Team

  6. Posted · Report reply

    One and all, we welcome you to join us at the first Lunacy event of 2016! After years of happy hosting at Dark Delicacies, we are transitioning back to will calls at the Lab proper.

     

    We're celebrating this return to our home turf with an exclusive scent and food provided by Grilled Cheese Truck! You may RSVP and keep abreast via the Facebook event link below. We look forward to seeing you!

     

    (Note: these Lunacy events are still the ONLY occasions when the Lab will be open to the public.)

     

    https://www.facebook.com/events/574293192718211

    Chinigchinix is exclusive to this event only. $24 buckeroos:

    CHINIGCHINIX

    Long before the gods of cinema turned their celluloid eyes to the streets of Los Angeles, Chinigchinix, He Who Enforces the Law, stalked Southern California. With the aid of his eyes – Crow, Mountain Lion, Bear, and Rattlesnake – he watches over the ancient people of California, ensuring that they behave in accordance with correct moral codes.

    Black copal and white sage with chaparral, beach saltbush, pearly everlasting, fire poppy, and white flowering currant.

     

     

     

     

     

  9. Posted · Report reply

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    With the holidays fast approaching, please take note of the Lab and Trading Post’s shipping cut-off dates to receive items by Christmas.


    These cut-offs are for shipments you need to receive by Christmas only and do not affect scent availability for purchase:


    Monday Dec. 7th 12:01am PST for international orders


    Monday, Dec 14th 12:01am PST for domestic orders


    Gift Certificates are not subject to the same cut-offs as they’re sent by email, so you can also get those for BPAL and the Trading Post.


    Thank you!


  10. Posted · Report reply

    Coming out of hiding to report that I got to sample this tonight and have been thoroughly corrupted.

     

    The cumin keeps this from plunging as deep and dark as the clove and leather might otherwise dive together (as they do when you smell straight from the bottle). Instead the whole blend swirls and hovers together in a sort of stagnant middle layer, like brackish water swirling in warm sunlight, giving off a faintly sweet steam -- that's the vanilla and cumin dancing together, right on the edge of an edible smell.

     

    As in Snake Oil, this is merely an enticement to lure the nose down into the darker, more mysterious notes. However, I found the latter dried off sooner, leaving one to luxuriate in the steam instead of fully losing one's boots in the muck -- a decidedly non-putrid experience overall, but I love those early stages when you're nervous because you're not quite sure how deep those puddles might be.

     

    Edit: No, there it is -- a lingering stink, which I think is still the cumin. Beth just described it to me as "sweaty." I love this scent!

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Pretty Indulgent has just added two new exclusive BPAL fragrances to their collection:

     

    MAT NIGHT
    The joy of wanton mischief: caramelized tobacco and snow muffling the scent of a distant fire.
    SOIRS d’AUTOMNE
    Voici que la tulipe et voilà que les roses,
    Sous les gestes massifs des bronzes et des marbres,
    Dans le Parc où l'Amour folàtre sous les arbres,
    Chantent dans les longs soirs monotones et roses.
    Dans les soirs a chanté la gaîté des parterres
    Où danse un clair de lune en des poses obliques,
    Et de grands souffles vont, lourds et mélancoliques,à
    Troubler le rêve blanc des oiseaux solitaires.
    Voici que la tulipe et voilà que les roses
    Et les lys cristallins, pourprés de crépuscule,
    Rayonnent tristement au soleil qui recule,
    Emportant la douleur des bêtes et des choses.
    Et mon amour meurtri, comme une chair qui saigne,
    Repose sa blessure et calme ses névroses.
    Et voici que les lys, la tulipe et les roses
    Pleurent les souvenirs où mon âme se baigne.
    - - -
    See how here the tulip- there the rose,
    By a group of bronze and marble statuaries,
    In the park where love frolics under trees,
    Sing through my nights, pink and monotonous.
    The flowerbeds sang at eve in joyful chords
    Where the moonlight’s dance is a shifting show
    And where, sultry and sad, their high notes go,
    Troubling the pure dreams of solitary birds.
    See how here the tulip there the rose
    And crystal lilies, crimson in twilight,
    Radiate sadly to the sun in flight
    That bears away from beasts and things their woes.
    And my ravaged love, like bleeding flesh, makes whole
    Its wounds and lets its madness find repose.
    See how the lily, tulip, and the rose
    Weep for the memories that wash my soul.
    - Emile Nelligan
    Ravaged love, like bleeding flesh, makes whole its wounds: lily, tulip and rose shimmering in the moonlight, brushed by a quiet autumn breeze.

     

  12. Posted · Report reply

    Hi everyone, two updates this week -- a dash of luck, some good will, and new scents.

     

    Palmyra

     

    All proceeds after cost of manufacture benefit the UNHCR’s efforts to aid refugees and meet humanitarian needs.

     

    Golden amber and galbanum with frankincense, myrrh, Balm of Gilead, vanilla-infused sandalwood, sand-smoothed leather, and Ceylon cinnamon.

    13

    BPAL's latest tribute of today's notoriously unlucky date.

    Thirteen sugars, honeys, and vanillas dusted with chocolate to help you combat ill-fortune with the raw power of overwhelming sweetness.

    Enjoy in good health!

     

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