Failmingo

As another Con season descends upon us (this year we’ll be at Midsummer Scream, Dragon Con, and NYCC), we at the Lab offer the following extra enticement to come visit our tiny, fragrant island of tranquility in the midst of those teeming masses. All it will cost is… your soul. Just kidding, mostly! At our convention appearances and Los Angeles Lunacy events, you’ll find a gorgeous black tome on display, hand-crafted by McCall Company. Sign our tenebrous guestbook with your name and email address (plus any additional love notes), and not only will you receive our occasional email newsletter — you’ll be entered to win one free bottle of a scent that’s impossible to obtain any other way. That’s right, the following blend will never be available for sale on Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s site. So go right ahead: take a deep breath, steel your nerve, and sign our Black Book. BLACK BOOK Hand-tooled leather and gold leaf, yellowed pages smeared with a sliver of black ink, and dusty balsam, all bound with a dark, smoky oudh. BLACK BOOK Official Rules and Regulations Only one entry (and email address) per person, per event. Duplicates will be fed directly to the flames. If we can’t contact you, we can’t send you a prize. Please write legibly! One winner will be randomly selected following each event, and publicly announced by the name written alongside their email address. While all entries will be added to our email list, you may unsubscribe at any time. Employees of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab or any of their respective entities, subsidiaries, and immediate families (spouses, parents, children, and siblings and their spouses) and/or persons living in the same households as such persons of each are not eligible to enter. The winning entry or entries will be selected in the sole discretion of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. The Lab reserves the right to select one or more entries based on the quality of entries received. Entries will be judged on their overall narrative, as well as their potential for providing scent inspiration. The Lab agrees to use all commercially reasonable efforts to provide credit in whatever format entrants request (i.e., real name, forum name, other pseudonym). All applicable federal, state, and local laws and regulations apply. You are responsible for knowing the laws of your jurisdiction with respect to contest entry. The Black Book project and these rules will be governed, construed and interpreted under the laws of California. By entering, you agree to be bound by these rules and by the decisions of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, which are final and binding in all respects. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab reserves the right to change these rules at any time, and in its sole discretion, and to suspend, cancel, postpone or extend the project. Individuals who violate or fail to comply with these rules, violate any law, rule or regulation in connection with participation in the application process, tamper with the operation of the entry process, or engage in any conduct that is detrimental or unfair to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, the application process, any other applicants (in each case as determined in Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s sole discretion), are subject to disqualification.

We wanna try to keep the RuPaul's DragCon spirit going year round, so we at BPAL decided to sponsored the NYC drag troupe The Nobodies' annual pageant, "MX. NOBODY." Their competition is open to people of all genders, ages, sizes, talents, you name it! For the second year in a row, we are providing the pageant with its grand prize: Mx. Nobody 2017 will receive $500, not to mention gift certificates from Gothic Renaissance and some other great sponsors. Here's Lilith serenading last year's winner! In the meantime, The Nobodies' video series in which they review WWE pay-per-view events has enjoyed sudden and immediate popularity among wrestling fans -- they were even invited to do an AMA in the official wrestling subreddit. A lot of wrestling fans haven't been exposed to much in the way of drag, but apparently there's enough crossover between these worlds for the videos to net tens of thousands of views. Isn't 2017 a wild time to be alive? In any event, if supporting the LGBTQ means crafting the ultimate drag-queens-watching-wrestling scent, we are here to serve: NOBODIES WATCHING WRESTLING Black leather and strawberry lip gloss. If you're interested in attending one of the nights of the Mx. Nobody pageant in person, here's the schedule! (These are FB event pages) WEEK 1: Thursday, July 13 WEEK 2: Thursday, July 20 WEEK 3: Thursday, July 27 WEEK 4: Thursday, August 3 GRAND FINALE: Thursday, August 10 You'll see The Nobodies at our booth this year at New York Comic Con. Be careful, Bearica's a hugger!

Thanks to everyone who came to visit the other night -- photographer Jason Thompson has been snapping event photos for us and was very proud of this set. Everyone looks terrific! http://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/your-june-gloom-photos-are-here/

Antique Lace lovers, this is for you: Tomorrow, Black Phoenix Trading Post will release the remaining 150 bottles of Antique Lace Hair Gloss. That's Tuesday, June 20 at 1 p.m. PDT! If past sales are any indication, they won't last long! Here's the link: https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/shop/antique-lace-hair-gloss-hair-gloss/

Lordy, we sure hope those tapes exist too. In the meantime, why not help the ACLU fight the major battles headed our way? LORDY For the folksy FBI agent in your life. Reminiscent of a classic 1950’s men’s cologne with a shuffle of paper, a briefcase-snap of black leather, and yesterday’s cold coffee. Proceeds benefit the @ACLU https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/lordy/

Anyone stalking our Shiny section already knows, but for the rest of you: American Gods has 26 new perfume oil blends for you to browse, plus three new atmosphere sprays up on Trading Post. Enjoy -- just as before, these sales benefit the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund!

Drive by and do some good next Friday at L.A. Lunacy Event: JUNE GLOOM, where you can buy an exclusive new scent that helps ensure the survival of those living on Skid Row. . According to the BBC, Los Angeles' homeless population has gone up 23% in just one year. Many of these citizens live outdoors during the hottest months of the summer, without access to running water. By donating to Drive-By Do-Gooders, you help ensure a bare minimum of support for those in the greatest need: water, alcohol-soaked cleaning wipes, and emergency protein. Whenever possible, the group also makes sure that clothing, tarps, and menstrual hygiene products also make it to people who, for whatever reason, would be otherwise unable to get them. (Many people living on the Row have physical and mental disabilities that keep them from traveling to drop-off points or places that dispense these resources.) http://drivebydogooders.com Those attending our event on the 16th can donate by purchasing this exclusive fragrance, which honors the life that persists in barren places: DANDELIONS & CONCRETE ($24) Sun-yellow petals thrusting through asphalt, a lilting touch of white musk, crisp juniper, blackcurrant bud, and ambrette seed.

This weekend was a joyous occasion for the entire BPAL family. Thanks one and all for your well wishes!

That feeling you're feeling? It smells like this. Behold, our newest scent with proceeds benefiting the ACLU: COVFEFE Is it abstract nonsense poetry? Surrealist performance art? Cryptography so subtle and devious that it would make an Enigma machine blush? The verbal component of whatever spell that orb casts? Safe word? A typo fueled by cheap hooch, NoDoz, and poor impulse control? Is negative press covfefe anything like French press covfefe? This perfume makes no fucking sense: orange marshmallow cream, bitter lemon, black pepper, orange carnation, and gin. Proceeds from this late-night nonsense benefit the ACLU, which has been working overtime to defend the rights and liberties guaranteed to everyone in this country by the laws and Constitution of the United States.

Howdy, all! It's time for us to revive our #BPAL7wordstory contest, which invites one and all to dazzle us in as few words as possible, with the ultimate goal of having a perfume inspired by your story. This time our theme is ENVY, and all the rules for entry can be found over at the Gazette. Multiple entries via Twitter or email are fine (you can include them all in one email, or send them separately). The deadline for this round is June 6th. Get ready... get set... spite us in seven!

The moon ascends, springtime swells to ripeness, and our coffers (and coffins) are bursting with Lunacy fragrances. Behold: ANTIQUE LACE PERFUME https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/limite…/antique-lace-2/ ANTIQUE LACE HAIR GLOSS https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/…/antique-lace-hair-gl…/ SINGLE NOTE: LEMONGRASS https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/single-note-lemongrass/ STRAWBERRY MOON https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/a-lit…/strawberry-moon/ A SONG: WHEN JUNE IS PAST, THE FADING ROSE https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/a-song-when-june-is-p…/ And an exclusive for those attending our L.A. May Lunacy: Necro-PROM-icon event: SQUAMOUS TUSSIE-MUSSIE ($24) A regional variation of the traditional prom corsage: black rose, purple carnation and belladonna with a spray of baby’s breath, dusted with frankincense, opoponax, and crushed yew seeds.

Woe for the blood-bespattered locks of gray, alas for the rent robe, which you assumed, it seems, only that you might be slain in it! Cassius Dio Ambergris and bay leaf, lemon peel and regal mandarin, white cedar and khus, grey oudh and star anise. I know the time period doesn't line up AT ALL, but I was really looking forward to this as a sort of debauched powdered-wig scent, based on the name as well as the listed notes. And I've gotta say, I was not disappointed! In the bottle, I'm getting the same ambergris note that really makes Black Forest glow. Here, that same air of mystery is injected into an insouciant gentlemen's cologne, with almost none of Black Forest's sweetness -- I'm glad she went ahead and used the word "regal" in the description, because that is all I can think when I smell this in the bottle. The overall vibe is... hazardously amoral. On the skin, the khus is less forceful and sort of lifts the other notes on a waft of smoke, an effect someone at Lunacy last night described as "infernal." The ambergris going airborne like that is what contributes to the powdered wig association in my mind -- it teases the nose from a distance with a deceptively soft touch, but the deeper you lean into it, the darker it gets. Like so many of these Ides of March scents (and the recent Lupercalias) this blend seems to hint at a cover-up job -- a thin veneer of respectability stretched over something utterly unwholesome. It would be ravishing on a man, but there's nothing in this one that I think would read as masculine on a woman. There's a spiciness in the dry-down thanks to the anise -- this probably wouldn't read as anise to anyone who hadn't read the description, so if that's not a note you cherish, you are probably still on pretty safe ground. I'll be holding on to this bottle for a long time.

We celebrate the debut of Neil Gaiman's American Gods by sprinkling a few more scents into our ever-growing collection. Behold the following additions: AMERICA’S NEW GODS BECOMING THUNDER THE BEST LIES THE BUFFALO MAN CIGARETTES AND OFFERINGS GLASS EYE THE JEWELED SPIDER SEARCH ENGINE TAKE THE MOON Meanwhile, Trading Post is overflowing with new atmosphere sprays and nail polishes! https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/…/officia…/americangods/ ++ BPTP ATMOSPHERE SPRAYS THE HALL OF FORGOTTEN GODS IBIS AND JACQUEL’S FUNERAL PARLOR MR. NANCY’S HOUSE ++ BPTP NAIL POLISH SHADOW MOON ZORYA POLUNOCHNAYA MISTER WEDNESDAY BECOMING THUNDER THE BLOOD MUST FLOW CZERNOBOG LAURA THE JEWELED SPIDER AMERICA’S NEW GODS BILQUIS THE INTANGIBLES MAD SWEENEY TECHNICAL BOY EASTER MR. WORLD COIN TRICK MR. NANCY’S GLOVES Hope you enjoyed the show's premiere -- so much more remains to be seen!

Hey hennies, we are thrilled to be appearing in full force at this weekend's 3rd annual RuPaul's DragCon. Last year we did two scents and two wig sprays... this year we're doing three of each! Take a gander over at our Tumblr post if you wanna see all the accompanying art. See you at the Con! ++ DRAGCON 2017 EXCLUSIVE PERFUMES $24 apiece. Featuring label artwork by Lily Gabrielle Hoyda. COMEDY QUEEN Orange blossom and honey cotton candy. PAGEANT QUEEN Sickeningly effervescent: electric tuberose, neroli, and lily of the valley bubbling with glittering aldehydes. GOTH QUEEN Clove smoke, opium poppy, blackened patchouli, and a dribble of sugared absinthe. ++ DRAGCON 2017 WIG SPRAYS $25 apiece. Featuring label artwork by Eric Thurnbeck. BLONDE WIG SPRAY Cascades of honeyed oudh. BLUE WIG SPRAY Silvered lilacs and violets, white grapefruit, glittering musk, and a squirt of blueberry. GINGER WIG SPRAY Hot ginger root, red musk, rooibos tea, and coconut husk.

Hi everyone -- our littlest drag aficionado wants to officially welcome you to next week's DragCon proceedings: We'll have Con Exclusive scents and wig sprays (three of each!) We're very excited to be able to do a local event that supports so many worthwhile artists and members of our LGBTQ community. See you there!

Hello everyone, today marks the return of our collaboration with Neil Gaiman on AMERICAN GODS -- soon to be a huge collection encompassing perfumes, atmosphere sprays, and nail polish. The first in a series of updates has gone live today! Proceeds benefit CBLDF, and we're thrilled to have Hugo-winner Julie Dillon on board to create our stunning new label art. It's all here for your perusal, with more coming soon! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/neil-gaiman/american-gods/ https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/official-neil-gaiman/americangods/

Tonight’s Pink Moon paves the way for next month’s Flower Moon – get ready for May with our particularly intoxicating take on this potent portent! (Don’t forget to stock up on this month’s Single Note, SRI LANKAN LIME.) FLOWER MOON A toxic interpretation: lily of the valley threaded with fly agaric spores, castor flower accord, hemlock bark, crushed belladonna berries, a cascade of wisteria, white oleander, and opium tar. Please note: this perfume does not contain any toxic or poisonous plants. The description is poetic, not literal. The scent is fantastic, but it will not literally knock you dead.

BIG NEWS! This Friday, BPAL will launch the next phase in our ongoing collaboration with Neil Gaiman: a huge addition to our American Gods fragrance line - including new nail lacquers and atmosphere sprays , with proceeds going to Comic Book Legal Defense Fund and featuring art by Hugo-winner Julie Dillon. CBLDF fights for the First Amendment rights of all those who love reading and creating comics. This new collection (more than sixty scents in all) is a dream come true for BPAL, in which a terrific cause meets a unique artistic vision. The party starts at BPAL and BPTP on Friday, April 14th! Video trailer by Galen Adair:

Did you think we’d let you off this easily? Black Phoenix Trading Post is celebrating April Fools’ Day in style with two more timeless pranks: POP-OUT EYEBALL GLASSES Hair Gloss, and RUBBER CHICKEN Bath Bombs! Both feature artwork by Drew Rausch. HAIR GLOSS: POP-OUT EYEBALL GLASSES Lemon-squirted champagne with sugar and a splort of blueberry and blackcurrant. RUBBER CHICKEN BATH BOMBS Rubber chickens are to Black Phoenix what the ravens are to the Tower of London. Rubber chickens have been an integral part of BPAL since time immemorial. Every physical location that the Lab has inhabited has contained at least one rubber chicken, and we have several Emergency Rubber Chickens on-hand in case one vanishes. They buoy our optimism, they are icons of the absurd, they remind us not to take ourselves – or anything else – too seriously. They are part and parcel with the soul of Black Phoenix, and now we’re sharing a little fragment of their rubbery, orangey joy with you. Be safe out there, pranksters!

Beloved Fools, You're a hard bunch to surprise, so we're landing on you a day early with this very special April Fools' Day update, complete with upsetting label art by Drew Rausch. Dare you inflict our JOY BUZZER or RUBBER POOP on your unsuspecting friends? Dare you risk meeting the same fate as our LAB RAT, pinned beneath the combined weight of hundreds of BPAL scents? Welcome to PRANK - the olfactory equivalent of that gum that turns your mouth black! Please prank responsibly -- and keep an eye out for pranks as you prowl Black Phoenix Trading Post in the near future, you never know what foolishness might await you. ++ PRANK CHATTERING TEETH Electric cherry and iced vanilla. JOY BUZZER Silvered honey zapped with fizzy champagne grape. RUBBER POOP Chocolate and caramel with flecks of cacao bean and toasted tonka. SNAKE CAN Fancy salted Snake Oil with a hint of mixed nuts. SQUIRTING BOUTONNIERE Hot pink rose wet with cucumber and water lily. WHOOPIE CUSHION Raspberry pulp with orange blossom, patchouli, and a pfffffft of red musk ++ LAB RAT 2017 Those who enter the Lab in North Hollywood, or approach our booth at conventions, often ask: “Mmmm, what’s that I’m smelling?” Naturally, the answer is: EVERYTHING. The aggregate of literally hundreds of perfumes hangs in the air around us while we work, staining our clothes and lingering on our skin after we go home. Just another day in the life of a smelly Lab Rat! Despite many requests, this weirdly specific scent has never been available for purchase… until now! In the spirit of mad science, we assigned one of our laboratory helpers the ignoble task of gathering samples of literally every scent currently in BPAL’s general catalog, and combining them in one immense jug.*** The Lab Rat in question took copious notes during the blending process, documenting the scent’s evolution as he worked through shelves packed with alphabetized bottles. (The cumulative effect of this olfactory journey must have taken a psychological toll — he hasn’t returned to the Lab since.) For those with an academic interest, we have included our Lab Rat’s notes below — the portions that were legible, anyway. 21 through AZATHOTH: Just got through the A’s, and so far we have a spicy, lively, almost disturbingly energetic scent, hovering over a sort of dark, fruity abyss. It’s almost too bad we have to keep going, it would be great to just stop here. 21 through BURIAL: Already so different — now we have a lovely astringent, almost coniferous smell rising on a cloud of… *sniff sniff* black tea? 21 through CZERNOBOG: This has suddenly become a sort of musky, foodie smell, gleaming with… honeysuckle? Or is it just honey mixing with other flowers? Starting to feel a little dizzy TBH. 21 through DRINK ME: Molasses, leather, mint… like nothing I’ve smelled in the GC so far. Only at the D’s so far and my hands are already getting tired, my head feels clobbered, and the jug is still mostly empty. What time is it? Is that music coming from a radio somewhere? 21 through EVENT HORIZON: Mossy night-flowers, glimmer of spice, something alive and restless. Working through my lunch break just to get this over with. 21 through FOREST REVERIE: Fruity jungle blooms, crop circles, disco balls. The nose equivalent of trying to read the subject lines in my junk mail folder. 21 through GROG: ?????? 21 through HUNGER: Juniper, freesia, alpine air, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, the hills are alive, THEY’RE ALIVE 21 through THE ISLES OF DEMONS: ?????//???? honey apple gardenia please kill me 21 through JABBERWOCKY [REDACTED on the advice of our legal counsel] LAB RAT Eau de Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. The cumulative weight of hundreds of scents — a cacophony of mythology, fiction, folk magic, and other arcane influences, all clamoring for your attention at once. ***A note to those with allergies and skin sensitivities: by definition, LAB RAT contains any and every possible component

Immerse yourself in the luxurious romance of Art Nouveau! Support Century Guild, and pick up one of the scents that we created exclusively for this project! FLOWERING LINES rare ART NOUVEAU posters graphics 1895-1910Romantic Art Nouveau artworks from the Golden Age of Vintage Poster Art: Rare images from the Century Guild Museum of Art archives. Back their Kickstarter at $54 and in addition to a book, you’ll nab one of the corresponding Limited Edition BPAL scents (or scoop up all three books/scents for $159). BEAUTIFUL MACABRE Ink-black patchouli, red and black musks, honey carnation, red currant, and oakmoss. FLOWERING LINES Apricot-tinted lilies, heady white climbing roses, sweet pea, and red carnation. TRANSCENDENT LUXURY A lavish white amber chypre with lemon verbena, opulent white gardenia, tuberose, and tonka. Tell 'em BPAL sent ya!

Hello all -- in anticipation of the notorious Ides of March, we have a special six-scent update inspired by historical accounts of the death of Julius Caesar. You can find those here: ++ IDUS MARTIAE Also we have a PINK MOON Lunacy scent for you, as well as a VANILLA ORCHID Single Note. Beware! (And enjoy!)

They're here, folks! Hair gloss, bath oils, and atmosphere sprays to get you (and/or others) in the mood. This year's divine offerings: ++ Novel Ideas For Secret Amusements ++ Box Of Chocolates https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/lupercalia-2017

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! (Be ours?)