Failmingo

Your new Lunacy scents are here to soothe! Behold: COLD MOON 2017 The Full Moon that shines over the frost-rimed heart of winter. Traditional lunar oils combined with glittering snow flowers, soft breezes and frozen ferns. SINGLE NOTE: INDONESIAN CLOVE

Hi everyone! In addition to hosting a Drag Queen Story Hour for the young'uns, we are our continuing our tradition of a November food drive, benefiting the Burbank Temporary Aid Center. In exchange for every $20 bag of nonperishable groceries, you'll receive a 5ml bottle of the following scent, available while supplies last: CHILDREN OF THE CORNUCOPIA "When thou cuttest down thine harvest in thy field, and hast forgot a sheaf in the field, thou shalt not go again to fetch it: it shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow." —Deuteronomy 24:19 Sweet patchouli and hay absolute, with a drop of tobacco leaf. (Because of the limited quantity, we implore you to be scrupulous about adhering to our requested donation value of $20.) Please help us spread the word so our neighbors in need can count on full bellies in the months to come. The Facebook event page is here, in case you'd like to invite your friends: https://www.facebook.com/events/1950852578567926/

We were already in NYC for Comic Con, so this time around we actually got sponsor representation in the "Hell In A Cell" episode of Nobodies Watching Wrestling. (This should have been Lilith, but she was already on her way home!) Enjoy!

Hey everyone, due to order volume we are experiencing a slight shipping delay. Or as Beth put it, "We are being walled in Poe-style by boxes in the front." Our apologies if you are kept waiting any longer than absolutely necessary! We're working this out with the P.O. *sips Amontillado*

So far the only thing we're out of is APPLE MARSHMALLOW hair gloss! You and/or your fairy still have a chance at the rest. Beth is doing fine, and appreciates all the well-wishes. She is feeling a bit better and is likely to be at the booth for a bit today, but that's all we can really say on that front for now. Last day! See you at the fair.

Hello everyone, just a check-in to apologize for the delay in getting our weenies to the booth at NYCC! As of this posting, we have more than we did this morning, but still far from the whole set. Brian will be able to bring more (the rest, we hope?) On the bright side, we do now have bottles of Take A Knee and Flor De Maga for sale at the booth! We are very frightfully sorry to have kept you waiting, we know that a lot of people are specifically picking up for others and might not be here multiple days (or might just have something better to do than run back and forth all day to check on some Dead Leaves). We will post updates on social media first thing tomorrow to let you know if the whole set has arrived! In the meantime, we have loved seeing so many friendly faces. Hi from New York!

Hi gang, it's been a minute since we scented your activism (and/or your barely-stifled outrage), so here are two new causes to support via sniff. TAKE A KNEE ($26), which benefits the NAACP SINGLE NOTE: FLOR DE MAGA ($26), which benefits the Hispanic Federation's hurricane relief for Puerto Rico. Thanks so much, and enjoy the last gasp of your weekend!

The Big Apple. The Crossroads of the World. The city so nice, we came here twice in two years, instead of our customary biennial appearance. After three centuries, New York remains a crucible for identity and groundswell of activism. If you can manage to be somebody here, then you'll never be a nobody (unless you're The Nobodies, who plan on hosting a special meet-and-greet at our booth during this year's con). Here's our video announcement accompanying this roll-out of exclusive scents! ++ NEW YORK COMIC CON 2017 ($26 apiece) MANNAHATTA I was asking for something specific and perfect for my city, Whereupon, lo! upsprang the aboriginal name! Now I see what there is in a name, a word, liquid, sane, unruly, musical, self-sufficient; I see that the word of my city is that word up there, Because I see that word nested in nests of water-bays, superb, with tall and wonderful spires, Rich, hemm’d thick all around with sailships and steamships—an island sixteen miles long, solid-founded, Numberless crowded streets—high growths of iron, slender, strong, light, splendidly uprising toward clear skies; Tide swift and ample, well-loved by me, toward sundown, The flowing sea-currents, the little islands, larger adjoining islands, the heights, the villas, The countless masts, the white shore-steamers, the lighters, the ferry-boats, the black sea-steamers well-model’d; The down-town streets, the jobbers’ houses of business—the houses of business of the ship-merchants, and money-brokers—the river-streets; Immigrants arriving, fifteen or twenty thousand in a week; The carts hauling goods—the manly race of drivers of horses—the brown-faced sailors; The summer air, the bright sun shining, and the sailing clouds aloft; The winter snows, the sleigh-bells—the broken ice in the river, passing along, up or down, with the flood tide or ebb-tide; The mechanics of the city, the masters, well-form’d, beautiful-faced, looking you straight in the eyes; Trottoirs throng’d—vehicles—Broadway—the women—the shops and shows, The parades, processions, bugles playing, flags flying, drums beating; A million people—manners free and superb—open voices—hospitality—the most courageous and friendly young men; The free city! no slaves! no owners of slaves! The beautiful city, the city of hurried and sparkling waters! the city of spires and masts! The city nested in bays! my city! The city of such women, I am mad to be with them! I will return after death to be with them! The city of such young men, I swear I cannot live happy, without I often go talk, walk, eat, drink, sleep, with them! - Walt Whitman I will return after death to be with them: the gleaming sharp scent of these high growths of iron, the amber of the bright sun shining, and broken ice on the river. BROADWAY What hurrying human tides, or day or night! What passions, winnings, losses, ardors, swim thy waters! What whirls of evil, bliss and sorrow stem, thee! What curious questioning glances—glints of love! Leer, envy, scorn, contempt, hope, aspiration! Thou portal—thou arena—thou of the myriad long-drawn lines and groups! (Could but thy flagstones, curbs, facades tell their inimitable tales); Thy windows, rich and huge hotels—thy side- walks wide; Thou of the endless sliding, mincing, shuffling feet! Thou, like the parti-colored world itself—like infinite, teeming, mocking life! Thou visor'd, vast, unspeakable show and lesson! Sheer white patchouli, passionate red musk, caramelized vanilla, black opium poppy, and lilac. ++ EVE’S BIG APPLE, REDUX ($26 apiece) But one pale woman all alone, The daylight kissing her wan hair, Loitered beneath the gas lamps’ flare, With lips of flame and heart of stone. I. White apple, cucumber, muguet, cherry blossom, and honeysuckle. II. Red apple, ylang ylang, opoponax, and myrrh. III. Gingered apple champagne. IV. Red apple, sweet patchouli, tobacco leaf, and amber. V. Apple blossom, white sandalwood, and oudh. VI. Apple, marshmallow, apricot, and sugar cane. VII. Apple cardamom cake. ++ BPTP: EVE’S BIG APPLE ($28 apiece) HONEYED APPLE HAIR GLOSS BLACK APPLE AND PATCHOULI HAIR GLOSS FRANKINCENSE APPLE HAIR GLOSS APPLE MARSHMALLOW HAIR GLOSS SUGARED APPLE BATH OIL

Hey all, in case you hadn't heard, Neil Gaiman's NEVERWHERE is being re-released with lovely illustrations by Chris Riddell on September 26th. You can pre-order the book here. We were lucky enough to have advance copies for people to drool over at last Friday's Lunacy event. We can't wait!

Ted's collection of Lilith tribute scents has arrived, joining Beth's which landed just before the tiny Virgo's actual birthday. Here's a quick video we made to help launch the scents! We will have them at tonight's L.A. Lunacy event and can't wait to see your shining faces.

Thanks to August Lunacy and then Dragon Con, two new names are being added to the BLACK BOOK hall of infamy. Congrats, Kerri Sernel and Christy Adair! You each win a 5ml of this rare blend: BLACK BOOK Hand-tooled leather and gold leaf, yellowed pages smeared with a sliver of black ink, and dusty balsam, all bound with a dark, smoky oudh. Your next opportunity to win will be this Friday's Lunacy event!

Hi all, in addition to our other LE's and other exciting treats, this Friday's Lunacy event at the Lab will be a chance to grab a rare BURNING BOOK Single Note, with proceeds benefiting the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. That's $26, same as in town.

Some proper Gazette-style action comin' atcha right here. *modem warbles*

Here are your September Lunacy scents, along with a humble reminder that you're invited to our L.A. September Lunacy: Banned Books event, which will raise funds for Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. In addition to these two seasonal blends, we're reposting one that's unfortunately just as timely as it was last week: our Bluebonnet single note, which benefits Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund Wear in good health, friends! ++ A LITTLE LUNACY LONG NIGHT MOON The nights are at their longest, the sky is at its darkest. The air is still with reflective silence. A bouquet of night-blooming flowers, petals dusted with frost. Cereus, datura and moonflower accord, night phlox, honeysuckle, silver thyme, nicotiana, pale tuberose, white mint, and blue musk. ++ SINGLE NOTE WHITE FIR BLUEBONNET

As promised! Here are the hair glosses. https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/dog-days-of-summer/ Here's our romantic perfume commercial starring Pickle, Wednesday, and Zoe's butt: https://vimeo.com/230695689 ++ THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER A paean to the Hounds of Black Phoenix! The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state that the dog is full of love. I've also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest. Proceeds from the sale of these hair glosses will benefit the Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA. The Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA is a donor-supported, nonprofit organization that provides animal care and services for homeless and owned animals in the Greater Los Angeles Area. The organization is dedicated to promoting humane treatment and compassionate care for all animals. The animals in its care come from 11 animal control contract cities, as well as partner shelters across the Los Angeles area and beyond. The Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA also offers lifesaving programs and services to the community that support the human-animal bond and keep pets in homes. Please note: these are hair glosses for human hair. Not dog fur. Or cat fur. Or hamster fur. Not lizard scales, not tarantula carapaces, not turtle shells; neither is it for feathers, whiskers, or paw pads. This is a human hair gloss for human heads that is inspired by doggos but is NOT to be used ON doggos. ELLA Not a dog, not a hound, but a 100% genuine cur: Brian’s crazy swamp girl, the Blueberry Catahoula Hog Dog! Louisiana’s olive blossom and magnolia swirled with blueberries. GRANITE Brian’s sweet Granite passed at Halloween in 2014, and our hearts broke. This scent is a captured memory: the day that a bottle of body lotion accidentally fell on him. It’s a rich patchouli carnation mingled with warm fur and a hint of corn chip-paws. LOLA Jacquelynn’s beautiful baby! She has a unique independence that I attribute to her being an Aquarius. She hates closed doors and crates. She likes the option to join the party or not. She is intelligent, loyal and protective. Super affectionate with people she knows, but aloof with strangers. A wintry-white flurry of snow, as pale as her eyes, with lacquered black pepper and oudh. PA-POW Pa-Pow the Wonderdog: the great love of Teddy’s life, his little soulmate. We lost her in 2008, but her spirit will be with Teddy forever. Three golden ambers with a hint of jellybean. PICKLE Lilith’s bright, bouncy, goofy Leo! A gleaming vanilla cream poof of coconut with a hint of tiare. PUGSLEY We lost our darling Pugsley many years ago, but Lilith swears that she can hear his ghost barking at the mailman to this day. Dedicated defender of the household, bane to all small birds. We miss you, Pugsley. Black tea, tonka bean, and licorice root with sweet black musk. WEDNESDAY My cantankerous old lady, a dog of many names: Lumpy, No-Fun Dog, Grandma, Day-Day, and Cranks. She always looked like a s’more to me, so her scent is scorched marshmallows and melted chocolate with cinnamon sugar-dusted graham cracker bits. ZOË Ella’s best friend and Pickle’s nemesis! A voracious lover of food and all things foodlike: warm milk chocolate and Canadian maple syrup with amber and caramel.

Hi everyone! We know some of you are bummed you won't be able to dig into our Dragon Con scents, so take heart -- this afternoon, we're launching a special Trading Post update called The Dog Days of Summer. That's eight hair glosses inspired by BPAL staff's beloved companions, past and present. (These are for use on humans only, pls.) We wanted our forum friends to be the first to hear about it. Keep your eyes peeled for an announcement from Puddin' as the links go live!

For those visiting our booth at Dragon Con this year -- as well as those sending someone to shop on your behalf -- we offer the following draconian scents. You're reading this correctly: eight perfumes and five hair glosses! Look for the label art and full video promo rollout on social media in the next day or so -- but this should help with organizing group orders in the meantime. Tread carefully, friends... HC SVNT DRACONES ++ DRAGON CON 2017 BPAL ($26) BADGERED BY DRAGONS Dark chocolate, coffee absolute, sugar cane, caramel, and tobacco. CHASTISING YOUR DRAGON BAD DRAGON! BAD! Cherry blossom, bourbon vanilla, rice milk, and white sandalwood. DRAGON CHORUS Sweet red patchouli and hay absolute with a hint of orange peel, cocoa, and amber. DRAGON SIDE-EYE Golden peach and black oudh with lychee, auburn musk, and Italian bergamot. DRAGON SMOOCH Honeyed mint and peach marshmallow. DRAGON WITH A JAUNTY CAP A sassy strawberry red musk chypre. NO PLS Dismissively forbidding: white musk, honeyed orange blossom, and orris slammed by black pepper, tobacco absolute, blue musk, and cedar. SURLY DRAGON Sour orange and fiery pink pepper with mandarin, neroli, and rum absolute. ++ DRAGON CON 2017 HAIR GLOSS ($28) DRAGON MLERM Vanilla marshmallow apricot poof. DRAGON UMBRAGE Black currant bud, crumbly rose, black clove, strawberry seed, and bergamot. DRAGONFLY & DRAGON Blue lotus blossom, iris root, iridescent musk, green tea, and a touch of fiery anise. SENSITIVE FOLK MUSICIAN DRAGON Nag champa, patchouli, and red sandalwood. SO JUDGEY A splash of gin, bitter lemon, and spiky juniper berries.

Hello, everyone! We're aware that some of you are receiving strange privacy notifications when you visit our site, and we're actively working to correct the problem. Thanks for your patience -- we're on it!

Hi everyone, the annual drag pageant that BPAL sponsors has crowned its 2017 winner, Qualms Galore, and we made sure to send a video message from Lilith congratulating them. (Here's her message from last year, if you want a double dose of cuteness.) The Nobodies raised over $600 for charity last night alone! We are proud to be part of such an inclusive and original event. If you want a heads up about next year's pageant, follow their page here: https://www.facebook.com/mxnobodypageant/

...Tadd Melson of San Diego, who signed our Black Book at Midsummer Scream last week. Here's what Tadd's getting in the mail: BLACK BOOK Hand-tooled leather and gold leaf, yellowed pages smeared with a sliver of black ink, and dusty balsam, all bound with a dark, smoky oudh. Your next chance to sign will be this Friday's Lunacy event at the Lab, between 6-9pm. Rules and regulations here: http://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/new-from-bpal-sign-our-black-book/

Congratulations are in order for Tyler Butler, the winner of our latest #BPAL7wordstory contest, for this entry submitted via Twitter: "Galatea wept as Pygmalion carved new statues." This story will serve as the inspiration for a new scent, which we'll debut later this month! Our sincere thanks for the hundreds and hundreds of entries we received -- it's only getting harder to choose as this contest proceeds. We'll share some honorable mentions on social media over the weekend!

Those who live within striking distance of the Lab won't wanna miss our August Lunacy event -- it will be hot, so we're making sure you don't have to layer up. Come to our Innsmouth Beach Blast! August 11, 6-9pm 12120 Sherman Way North Hollywood CA, 91605 Here's the video teaser Galen Adair made for our event! Feel free to circulate and invite your friends. https://vimeo.com/228276383

Our friends The Nobodies are here with another installment of a video series so refreshing, we just had to capture it in scent. This time the drag troupe reviews WWE's "Battleground" event, which seems to have temporarily united wrestling fans in their appraisal of its mostly-awfulness. Enjoy!

Hello, Everyone. As most of you know, your purchase of a CD fragrance includes a printed pitch card and carnaval ticket. Yay! Unfortunately, our vendor for these paper goods has let us down, backing out of our latest order and leaving us with a sizable backlog of customers still awaiting their ticket and card. In the interest of satisfying our customers as swiftly as possible, the Lab has decided to go ahead and fulfill the perfume portion of these orders ASAP. We're keeping a list of those who're still owed their cards, and we'll mail those out separately once we have them, at zero additional expense to the customer. While costly and cumbersome (and not a little disappointing) for us at the Lab, this solution is your fastest route to the midway, and we believe it's the best way to go. Thanks for your patience and understanding in the interim -- we know these particular scents mean a lot to people, and we're determined to live up to your expectations. Sorry for the extra wait, in the meantime!

Today, the Trump administration announced that they will be reinstating the US military ban on transgender people. This policy not only affects the livelihoods of thousands upon thousands of transgender military personnel, but also paves the way for further acts of bigotry and hate in our government and communities. We are hosting an emergency fundraiser for our friends at the National Center for Transgender Equality and for ACLU Nationwide. The two scents that are going live are being pulled from a future coffee-themed update that was slated for 2018. I specifically chose these scents because they are cheery and uplifting – without the usual highly-specific socio-political context that we attached to many of our fundraiser scents – in the hopes that it will sell well and sell quickly so that we can be as effective as possible in helping out. Help us take an immediate stand to fight this unconstitutional, immoral, and unnecessarily cruel ban. Even if you choose not to make a purchase, please consider donating to or volunteering with the NCTE and/or ACLU. Stand with the transgender community, and be a compassionate and hard-working ally to all marginalized groups whose civil rights, livelihood, happiness, health and well-being are being trampled by this administration. IRISH COFFEE BUTTERCREAM Irish whiskey, granulated sugar, brown sugar, whipped cream, buttercream and coffee. SPICED RUM BUTTERCREAM COFFEE Coffee and rum laced with allspice, nutmeg, clove, star anise, cardamom, and cinnamon gently whipped into buttercream.