Failmingo

Since the event is this Saturday, I'm running around shouting it from the rooftops! Here is the exclusive scent we're contributing to the The Clothing Fair presented by bloodmilk on Saturday: SPHINX SKIN “A gleaming black leather cocoon engulfed in a garnet-tinged haze of dragon’s blood smoke, black vegetal musk, fossilized amber, 3-year aged patchouli root, and smoldering incense.” Please note: this oil contains Daemonorops draco resinoid. Please roll the bottle in your palms or shake gently before use.

This is a kind of dual-purpose post — previewing the four new fundraiser scents we're adding to TRIUMPH IN MY SONG ahead of Juneteenth, and also reminding folks to look through the Yule, NYE, and Winter Lunacy scents that are gonna be vanishing after next week. ? https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/activism/triumph-in-my-song/ Coming down next Friday: ++ YULE 2022 ++ NEW YEAR'S CREEPERS & ODDMENTS Plus the following Lunacy products: SOUR MOON QUIET MOON A WINTER'S EVENING ANGEL WITH FLAMING SWORD DRUIDS CUTTING MISTLETOE ON THE SIXTH DAY OF THE MOON THE GIANT MONASTERY IN THE WINTER NIGHT PREMONITION THE SHEPHERD'S DREAM SKOGINTERIOR THE WOLF MAN'S DREAM THE ACTION DIE TODESSTUNDE IN THE MAZE OF BRANCHES, THE PALE FIGURE APPEARED SNOWY EVENING ZIMA V LESE FETE FERN, ENGLISH IVY, AND OAKMOSS TEA LEAVES, VANILLA BEAN, AND INCENSE SMOKE BLACK PEPPER, WHITE SAGE, AND TEA ROSE CARAMEL, TEAKWOOD, AND VETIVER TUBEROSE, WILD TOBACCO FLOWER, AND RED CLOVER COFFEE BEAN, OAK BARK, AND PATCHOULI SANDALWOOD, LIME, AND TAHITIAN GINGER MOROCCAN JASMINE, GARDENIA, AND MALLOW

I'm here in Cruel Tease mode to give you the lowdown on our upcoming LGBTQ+ Pride Month series, which will be a fundraiser for Drag Story Hour. This will launch sometime early in June, I know not exactly when! The reason I want to inform the community in advance is that these are a COMPLETE REFORMULATION of event exclusive scents we created in 2018. They are not 1:1, this is not a restock. They might be... similar? Some will be more different than others. We've made the labels very different from the 2018 scents, so there's little risk of mixing them up in the wild. It just seemed like such a timely concept to revive, and an important cause to raise funds for. We'll be very grateful for help with spreading the word once the series is launched! ++ PRIDE MONSTERS DRAG IS FOR EVERYONE Just like any art form, drag asks questions that have no right answer. This scent is compatible with almost every body type, and has been crafted to either be worn alone or as a base upon which you can layer other scents. This iteration of DIFE retains its collective wearability, but with an added sweetness to help soften the impact of these brutal times: sheer frankincense, bourbon vanilla skin musk, and sugar. DRAG ON A SLIME She’s the reason the venue now has rules like “No liquids onstage, unless you bring your own tarp.” This one pops: bubble gum and translucent white musk, sugar syrup, pink lime, and milky mango juice. THE GROOM A shock in a jock: the perfect drag king cologne. Black leather, lightning-lit white musk, a splash of schmancy Victorian fougere, and a snap of ozone. THE LIBRARY IS HAUNTED With this one, every conversation turns into a reading challenge. A dolorous mélange of myrrh, crypt moss, soil, faded funereal incense, pallid balsam, decaying parchment, and cracked leather. LYCANTHROPE FOR YOUR LIFE Hey look, it’s that TikTok queen who only performs live once in a full moon. Cardamom-infused whiskey, fig cream, honey, and marshmallow fluff. SERVING GILL A swimsuit with no padding: the perfect gender-amphibious look. Aquamarine musk snarled in kelp, pine pitch, seafoam, Italian bergamot, and orchid. SLAY The consummate host: they can fill oceans of time on the mic and still leave the crowd hypnotized. Black leather, polished black patchouli and blood-red vegetal musk, bakhoor oudh, tobacco absolute, sacred frankincense, fossilized amber resin, and bittersweet cacao.

Our beloved DORIAN is back in stock after a drought of several years! Currently available in 5ml, 1/32oz, and Hair Gloss options. Note that the price has been increased, a la the SNAKE OIL restock, due to the higher cost of components and the endless labor involved in getting this back out there. Thank you so much for enduring such a long wait! May it be received joyously, arriving just in time!

Holy cats, FOURTEEN new fragrances inspired by portrayals of feline excellence in classical art?? ? ? ? These can be found among this month's Lunacy products (including our usual series based on cat-free artworks), presented purely for your scentertainment. Ye cats: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/felis-silvestris-catus/ Ye Lunacy: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/may-2023/

We've restocked five more perfumes from our licensed collection: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/the-last-unicorn/ ? THE AMOROUS TREE ? MAGIC, DO AS YOU WILL ? ELLI’S SONG ? THE MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL ? THE NINTH CAGE

Just alerting folks to a small goof! The 4/20 scent MAGIC RAINBOW HARDSHELL CANDY was described as being chocolatey, a la M&Ms, but that was a remnant from an earlier draft of the update: it's actually a fruity Skittles-esque candy scent. A very silly but understandable mistake! Ted is reaching out privately via email to those who purchased the scent under false pretenses, so there's no action needed on anyone's part. We're just sharing in case anyone had bookmarked the product for later purchase, because they might not notice the description had been updated on the website. Thanks for listening, sorry for the switcheroo!

Sorry for the short notice, but TOMORROW there will be a Bloodmilk market event at Sphinx & Snakeskin in Philly, and we've created a new scent that will only be available to those attend! LEKYTHOI "Rivulets of myrrh and pelanon clinging to ancient clay, remnants of thyme, moringa, spikenard, and hyssop."

Tipping you off a day early! This year's 4/20 perfumes are litttttt https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/black-phoenix-doob-lab-2023/

Our latest Lunacy release also includes the WATER RABBIT Lunar New Year scent, and the remnants of our recent HEARTSHOW collaboration with Jinxed. Fun! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/april-2023-lunacy/

I was scared of this scent when I first smelled it. Reminiscent of my great-grandfather's toolshed, full of mysteries I wasn't old or experienced enough to solve. In the bottle it's really dark, and dry, almost sweetly astringent? Seconding the pitch called out by MamaMoth. Very foreboding, like the cologne of a bad, bad man, who drives a bad, bad car — like Stuntman Mike in Death Proof. In fact, it kind of smells like the interior of a car: dusty, oily, well upholstered, full of hidden compartments. So if that was the whole ride, I was gonna be kind of bummed, because while that is a cool and VERY specific thing to smell like, it was just too much masculine swagger for me. I craved just a wee bit more sensitivity from this scarecrow, even though I've been burned before buy guys like that and should know better by now. After a few moments on the skin though, I really want to be in that car. I start to detect these teasing incense notes that suggest this guy actually does take pretty good care of himself, he's not a total brute. That sticky resinous quality and the sweet earthiness of the hay note are selling something pleasantly old-fashioned, giving me something warm and almost human to snuggle up to. The most intensely forbidding aspects of this fragrance in the bottle are just a suggestion now, framing the scent but no longer dominating it. So like yeah, we ARE in an evil guy's car, he IS driving a bit too fast, but I've got my seatbelt on and I have to admit: I'm thrilled to death.

I'm a huge fan of the Lab's guava note, and basically groveled for it to be included in this scent. During the scene in the film when the tongue wall appears, and all of its orifices start belching forth strange substances, something that appears to be fruit salad spills forth from one of them. It really might be fruit salad! So it seemed pre-ordained that Tongue Wall would be a sassy, fruity scent. Firstly, it's worth noting that most of the bottles I've seen contain a separation of oils: look for little red blobs floating around in there! How appropriate! I like to give mine a good shake, because whatever that is, I want it evenly dispersed throughout use. In the bottle: guava first thing, and then what I think is grapefruit, probably to give that "acidic" kick that will read as digestive juices. A hint of berry from the lip gloss, as well as that oleaginous note that I Nobodies Watching Wrestling, which I consider the most epic strawberry lip gloss perfume of all time. (I'm obsessed with the word "oleaginous" lately because it describes so many of my favorite scents, particularly within this collection. Apparently I like wearing oils that smell oily!) So yeah, mainly gourmand in the bottle, but just enough of the musk and gloss there to suggest that... maybe don't eat this. For kissing, not for eating! Just delightfully fruity and sweet/tart but soft and musky around the edges. On the skin: It smells pink, soft, and wet, in the most appealing way. I love that the guava is tempered with these other scents, it draws an eerie sophistication out of what would otherwise be... fruit salad, I guess! The gradient from guava to musk is so smoothly blended, it's hard for me to tell where one ends and the other begins. There really may be dragon's blood resin in this, hence the "blood-tainted", but it would similarly compliment this brew so seamlessly that I don't trust myself to call it. Thanks to the musk asserting itself a little more, you really do get a sense of the Tongue Wall's overall immensity, not just the pulpy lips and tongue. She's a complex lady, with complex needs. There's something salivary about it, and I know that sounds gross, but it isn't. Just... a slickness, a warm humidity. It's really nice! Hard to tell which phase I like more, the "juice is loose" fruity stage when fresh out of the bottle, or this warm, easy-riding, fruit-stained musk. Fortunately I don't have to choose, I can just keep re-applying! ?

From the very beginning this one has been a real head-scratcher for me. In the bottle I get that nice foodie cherry scent full blast, floating up on a cloud of cake. Like perhaps there's a hint of citrus there at first, but I'm just blurring it into the tartness of the cherry? It totally smells like some kind of syrup that you can drink. On the skin the cake warms up and I can detect a separate buttercream note, thick and oleaginous. The cake reminds me of the note from Pink Lovebird! And the lemon sharpens quite a bit, actually pushing cherry to the side and making it less syrupy. So yes, overall it's a frosted lemon cake with a layer of cherry filling, just yeasty enough to impart that risen quality; a grownup palate dessert, not a kid-palate one. Although, some might associate this combination of scents with opening a box of fruity cereal? But my eyes read "cake," so my nose says cake. It doesn't smell ominous! I kept waiting to see if something dark and unbidden would spring forth from the center of this scent, and at times I psych myself out and think I detect something more sinister emerging (like an oudh?) but I'm pretty sure it's just cake.

In the bottle: Both sharp and creamy/powdery, it really has that aldehyde sparklefizz but then also this deeper musky scent I associate with an 80s housewife's vanity and toiletry kit. It's clean and bright but not too cheerful, winsome without being too sultry, infused with a kind of vivid, hectic energy ("high-pitched" indeed) where one might expect to find modesty or tranquility. This fragrance really does seem connected to that perfect ideal of womanhood we grew up seeing in TV commercials: eyes shining, teeth gleaming, hair hairing, performing a heightened version of everyday life. In the film, this character wears bright yellows and warm pinks, which I swear I can smell in this blend, although that may be my own mental projection. On the skin: One of those musks that I swear to god smells like an actual living person, a kind of forced intimacy which is very apt in this case. The aldehyde is less intense, and what remains is a compromise between this powdery, glimmering sweetness and a ripe, lightly savory animalic quality that I think relates to secretions somehow: the perfect homemaker transforming into a sex-crazed animal. It's kind of breathy and light, but laced with evidence of carnal knowledge. I can't imagine this appealing to anyone who isn't into aldehydes, musks, and/or powdery florals, but there are definitely some interesting subtleties floating up from beneath those more obvious notes.

Come to the Botanical Fair this Saturday in Philadelphia! We will be contributing the following scent as an IN PERSON event exclusive: OIL OF FLIGHT AND VISION “Inspired by witches’ flying ointments, this is a deep, rooty perfume flecked with grave soil: sweet, tar-like 7-year aged patchouli, henbane bell accord, smallage, opium pod accord, cinquefoil, mugwort, and soot.”

We've created a new perfume to accompany the latest Century Guild Art Nouveau print release on Kickstarter! ? https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centuryguild/absinthe-robette-rare-vintage-1896-art-nouveau-poster ABSINTHE ROBETTE Radiant emerald rivulets of sugared absinthe and lemon leaf draped with sheer lemon blossom.

Just wanted to make sure this isn't missed in the hubbub! Today we're finally launching the Caligari perfumes (and pins) online, AND ALSO a special one-off fragrance in collaboration with Véronique Hyland, the author of last year's non-fiction book "Dress Code: Unlocking Fashion from The New Look to Millennial Pink". Huzzah!

Okay, hear me out. December and January Lunacy are LIVE, belatedly. Double Lunacy! But the only way that makes sense to categorize these in the URL this is "March 2023", because we can't just keep time-traveling each month as we catch up. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/march-2023/ Also! We need to start clearing out old Lunacy products, so here's the list of everything we'll be taking down about ONE WEEK from now. Please take a look as you're contemplating your current (belated) Lunacy purchases. Does any of that make sense? It's Friday evening and I had a low-dose edible. ? Coming down: ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS ANGELICA ROOT, AMBERGRIS, AND BOIS DE ROSE BUTTERNUT SQUASH, PATCHOULI, AND GREEN FIG CHAMPA ORCHID, CHOCOLATE, AND VETIVER CHARCOAL, CHAMPACA RESIN, AND TOBACCO ABSOLUTE COCONUT, TI LEAF, AND PINEAPPLE COFFEE BEAN, CACAO, AND KHUS GREEN CARDAMOM, IRISH FERN, AND HINOKI HAITIAN TOBACCO, BAY LEAVES, AND PATCHOULI TOMATO, OLIVE LEAF, AND FRANKINCENSE VANILLA CREAM, PISTACHIO, AND MACADAMIA ++ PAINTINGS A SUMMER NIGHT ANIMALS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA CERES COLUMNS OF THE TEMPLE OF NEPTUNE AT PAESTUM FORGE OF VULCAN HORSES COOLING THEMSELVES IN WATER SHELLS TAHITIAN LANDSCAPE THE SOAP BUBBLES YOUNG PILGRIM GIRL ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB EMPOWERING HARVEST MOON LOVE POTION ++ THE PURGE CHOCOLATE DOOBSICLE SUPPOSED TO BE A PRETZEL FENRIS BLARGH FIGGY WOODS FIR NEEDLE AND OTHER STUFF SNAKE OIL LEMONADE STRAWBERRY SANDALWOOD ++ VIRTUAL CON FUZZY PEACH SWEATER AND A MUG OF LONDON FOG PEACH BRANDY SNAKE OIL THIS IS A PERFUME ABOUT MY DOG EATING PEACHES VANILLA WAFERS AND PEACH CREAM ++ LABORS OF THE MONTH 2022 AND HERE I HEAR THE FOWLES SINGE AND HERE I SHERE MY CORN FULL LOWE AND I WEDE MY CORN WELL I NOW AND WITH MY SPADE I DELFE MY LANDYS BY THYS FYRE I WARM MY HANDYS HERE I SETTE MY THYNGE TO SPRINGE I AM AS LYGHT AS BYRDE IN BOWE WITH MY FLAYLL I ERNE MY BREDE WITH MY SYTHE MY MEADE I MAWE

Just sharing this around: please note that the BPAL site will be in maintenance mode today (Tuesday) at an unspecified time, for an unspecified amount of time. Don't be alarmed! Hopefully you won't even notice it. ?

Howdy, all! I'll be traveling to NYC to sell our licensed Dr. Caligari (1989) perfumes at the Metrograph screening on March 4th, which will be the premiere of the film's full restoration. We'll have a little table in the lobby to vend before and after the screening. Tickets are available here: https://metrograph.com/film/?vista_film_id=9999003137 Due to our split with the house, we'll be selling these scents for $40 per bottle; later this spring they will debut on our website for $30. I figured at the very least, folks could come and test them all if they wanted to, so they know what to buy later on. If anyone has any questions about any of this in the meantime, please hit me up! Here's the full list of perfumes: TONGUE WALL Fleshy and fruity: guava musk, slick strawberry lip gloss, and blood-tainted digestive juices. CALIGARI A-GO-GO A fragrance inspired by the atmosphere and art direction of the film as a whole — its layers of grit and ooze, pop-art colors standing out against a starless void, clumps of debris, fake flowers, vials of mystery fluid, rumpled straitjackets and crisp lab coats. Green amber, jasmine bud, cotton blossom, eucalyptus, secondhand smoke, dirt, and petitgrain. I KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING ME The scent of full-blown nympho housewife hysteria: a smear of flushed, pearly skin musk splashed by a sophisticated vintage aldehyde perfume and drenched in the secretions of high-pitched arousal. DOOM CAKE A drug-induced vision of grabby, gore-slicked tentacles erupting from a facade of thick buttercream and lemon sponge soaked in cherry-flavored goo. CANNIBAL SOLILOQUY “I know what I am, but I know I’m not what I am. Beauty lives inside me. But oh, when beauty is trapped, it gets ugly…” A perfume worthy of a fading Tennessee Williams heroine wandering through a mirror-maze of memories, only slightly singed from too many Electro-Convulsive Therapy sessions: wafts of burning frankincense rising from a hot-seat occupied by duelling champaca orchids, white amber, Sicilian mandarin, and bergamot. SCARECROW BOYTOY A lusty, bubbling cauldron of thick, black tar spilling forth from a pile of dusty straw and secondhand clothes. XXX MEANS KISSES “Life imitates bad art.” A rare portrait of innocence and integrity amidst the corruption of Caligari’s asylum. Tart hibiscus, skin musk, shea, and the faintest whiff of nicotine. MINTY ON MY LIPS Even the brainiest femme fatale schemes are bound to collapse under the weight of a monstrous ego. The scent of defeat snatched from the jaws of success: a soft, satiny pink grapefruit punctured by a shiny metal drill bit.

Hello, everyone. You may have noticed in the Luper launch that the prices have been modestly increased to $29. A quick note about that! Please prepare for this to be the new standard. We're going to have to raise prices on a bunch of our existing licensed collaborations as well, since so much has changed since those original financial arrangements were made. As I wrote elsewhere yesterday: in a world where the prices of basically everything else go up, ours need to as well. Maintaining the quality of our product demands it, paying and insuring our employees demands it, and neither of those are negotiable expenses for us. Every time BPAL's prices have gone up, it's been long overdue and only as a last resort. It's terrible to imagine losing customers as a result of choosing to stay in business, but we've already dramatically cut expenses wherever possible, including fully uprooting and moving families and employees to a more affordable location (very expensive in the short term, but truly the Lab's only hope for continuing to exist). I recognize that just as we have to keep our heads above water, so do our customers, and so even small price increases may ripple through other folks' budgets and leave them with some difficult choices. Fragrance is a luxury product, and everyone will have different estimations of what that's worth. We want to keep our products accessible to as many folks as possible, for as along as possible, and for those products to be as pure and trustworthy as possible, and to contain as much artistry as possible. The figures associated with those goals rule our lives. I'm sure many of you can relate in your own way. Hopefully as a result of the move we'll be able to reorganize in ways that save money and forestall further price increases. But we gotta do what we gotta do, and will just keep trying to be worth the $$. I apologize for not informing you earlier, we were very deeply embedded in Luper land last week, and I wasn't aware until launch day that THIS was the time when the change would be taking place. If you see anyone asking about it, you're welcome to refer them to this post. TB

It's that time of year when BPAL fans collectively tilt their phones and monitors away from others' view so they can browse the Lupercalia collection in its full glory. This year's release is swollen to the point of bursting with scents crafted to stir the senses and awaken dormant desires. Here's everything that's included in the launch: ? LUPERCALIA GENERAL CATALOG - A mix of classic Lupers and brand new enticements fresh from our laboratory https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/lupercalia-main-2023/ ? SILK FLOWER BOUQUET - A romantic bundle of hyperchromatic fantasy florals which are realer than real https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/silk-flower-bouquet/ ? CHERRY BOMB - A series of scent-note suitors lining up to meet-cute with variations on the cherished cherry https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/cherry-bomb-2023/ ? BOX OF CHOCOLATES - Let your fingers wander over the shiny surfaces of these rich, sweet scents, selecting just the right one (or all nine) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/box-of-chocolates-2023/ ? RAUNCHY HEARTS - These aggressively explicit variations on candy heart messages are sure to start a few conversations — or perhaps abruptly end them! Gutter sweets aren't for everyone. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/raunchy-hearts/ ? SHUNGAS 2023: NOVEL IDEAS FOR SECRET AMUSEMENTS - Each year our fondness for historical Edo-era erotic art overflows into a massive perfume collection highlighting our latest faves. This year we've managed to include some Hair Gloss blends as well! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-2023/

Hi everyone, we've been invited by local Philly folks at Jinxed to contribute to their Heartshow art event, which is also a fundraiser for Lutheran Settlement House! The event is this Saturday evening, Feb 11th, from 5-9pm. Naturally there will be a perfume oil crafted exclusively for that night — 100% of the proceeds from this scent will be donated to the aforementioned cause. Here's what we've got for the crowd that night: HEARTSHOW Cherrywood, red amber, and red musk with a smidge of vein-blue cotton candy.

Hallo, here's our latest attempt to get back on schedule: the elusive November Lunacy scents, plus the latest iteration of 13. Are you feeling lucky, punks? https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-2022/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-6/ "Help steel your nerve in the upcoming year with this earthy blend of 13 symbols of luck and stability steeped in smoked cacao: purple sage, lavender bud, patchouli, Irish moss, thyme, ambrette seed, chocolate mint, rice milk, vetiver, hazelnut, barley, tobacco, and cedar."

This one sneaked up on me, y'all. I haven't given all the Snows a proper sniff yet, and history has shown it's not a scent type I'm particularly predisposed to love, but I'm always keeping an open mind. In the bottle it's cool without being minty exactly, fresh without being too mineralic or zesty, and the sweetness of the musk stands out perfectly. I have a hard time tracking musks sometimes, I don't think my nose always receives what they're broadcasting, but this one is framed so well by the other elements that it's unmistakable. Lilac is another of those notes that I'd have a hard time picking out of a lineup all by itself, and it's a delicate part of this brew -- the perfume doesn't read as "floral" but the lilac element definitely contributes to my overall enjoyment of this blend in a delicately balanced way. I don't know whether "citron" refers to the evergreen plant or its fruit, but there is definitely some kind of evergreen property to this. The citrus is dryyyyy, the only sense of juiciness or humidity seems to come from something cold and lushly green. My mental picture is of appraising an overnight snowfall early the next morning: the delicate stillness, the softness of the color palette, the vapors exhaled by the trees as the first light hits them. Overall the blend smells very fancy to me, and reads even less like a masculine cologne than the original Whitechapel did. Something about dragging it out into nature (thematically) and letting it freeze overnight has lent it an especially otherworldly charm, like a forest fairy prince who can't be counted on to ever fully warm up to you -- and might imprison you in a hollow tree if the two of you ever really hit it off. It lasts quite a while on me, and the scent remains pretty stable from first dab till the last gasp, though I'd say it's the musk that dies last, and that harder edge of frostiness is what melts away first. Still though, a total triumph and complete surprise -- upon first reading the list of stuff that got Snow-ified, this was not the one that leaped out at me.