hammy

In the bottle - Holy shit, this is amazing. This is the creamiest strawberries and cream, and maybe some flaky pastry on deep huff. Wet - Straaaaaawberries and cream. And some pastry. This is based on a real food, and my new mission in life is to find and eat that food. Drydown - More flaky buttery pastry is coming into play now. Strawberry is still RIGHT there, though, so don’t worry. To me (and on me), this smells like strawberry Golden Grahams. I used to get them in my lunchbox as a kid, and this is the smell of how the gooey strawberry middle of the graham cracker bear tasted. Even the cinnamon-y spice of the graham cracker reveals itself later on in the drydown. This is such a foodie winner. Verdict - Most definitely keeping this bottle. Potentially getting a backup.

In the bottle - Coconut? Hopefully that’s just in my head. I was hoping for more pineapple. Wet - PINEAPPLE. Come to mama. God, I love this. It’s like being at the Dole plantation or getting a pineapple whip at Disneyland. I can’t smell any other fruits, and I kinda don’t WANT to smell anything else. My skin ate up all the rum, so right now this is straight pineapple. Drydown - This faded quite a bit when dry. There wasn’t much alcohol to begin with, which is fine by me. The other fruits have started to peek out a bit, lending a fruit punch vibe to this. Virgin fruit punch (on my skin, anyway). Gorgeous. Wish it lasted longer. Verdict - May have to find more. May have to find more NOW.

In the bottle - Syrupy, fake bananas. (I mean that in the absolute best way possible; I love fake banana.) This puts me in an instant good mood, and I haven’t even applied it yet. Wet - Grenadine makes a grand entrance and does a little dance with the banana. Grenadine, I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I love you. I’ve always loved you. There’s more coconut than I’d ideally like, but I love the other two notes so much that I’m overlooking it for now. Drydown - The coconut goes away! Thank you, scent gods! The rum stays behind after the coconut burns off, lending a syrupy vibe to the intense sweetness. I’m a fan of anything sweet, even saccharine sweet, so I can see how “normal” noses might be turned off by the level of artificial happening here. If you’re looking for real bananas, this isn’t your blend. If you like banana-flavored Runts and/or Laffy Taffy, Pahoehoe is all you. It softens a bit after half an hour. Verdict - I’m a geology minor, so I would have kept the Pahoehoe bottle even if the oil sucked -- which I’m happy to report isn’t the case! I adore this, and I can definitely see myself wearing it poolside next summer. Makes me want to go out and buy a fruity drink. Or just some grenadine and bananas. Keeper.

In the imp - Almost reminds me of The Harvesters a little bit. Less sweet, more spice. Wet - Ooh, baking spices. Someone else said unfrosted carrot cake, and that’s exactly it. Drydown - I'm having a hard time pulling specific notes out of this. It's not much of a morpher. Still spicy carrot cake. In a savory kind of way, that is. This would be great around the holidays. Verdict - Keeping the imp, but not seeking out more.

In the imp - Sweet vanilla! Wet - I LOVE white sandalwood. It makes everything so full and content and serene. Sweet pea is usually a little much for me, but this is delightful. Drydown - Oddly, this is a little juicy now. Like it has fruit or something. I know there’s no fruit in there, yet I swear it smells like vanilla fruit punch on me. Unexpected and wonderful. Verdict - Now I see why this is so popular. I may end up ordering a bottle. It’s tempered and sweet and perfect.

In the imp - Smells like the sugar bowl in my cupboard. Wet - And now it smells like a lavender-rose sachet I used to keep in my dresser. Drydown - The milk and honey are giving it a very “tea” feeling. It’s sweet and innocent. I kind of expected more carnation than I’m getting, but instead it’s very subtle honeyed rose. I usually hate rose, and this is surprisingly OK on me. Verdict - Pleasant, but I’m not hunting down more of it.

In the imp - Oof, now that’s vetiver for ya. It’s smoky and straw-like and a little bitter. Suuuper thick oil, too. Wet - Man, this is a mess. I’m really not a vetiver fan, and this is the vetiver-est vetiver in the history of vetiver. I smell like an oil spot in a parking lot -- a little dirt, a little gravel, some exhaust fumes, and a toxic slickness that is best avoided. Drydown - Still vetiver. I don’t know what to say about this. I’m SO not a vetiver person, and having it this close to me is making me wince. Verdict - Get it off.

In the imp - Plum on the top, carnation on the bottom. Something spicy-waxy in the mix, too. Wet - Oh, too bad. This is turning powdery on me the way rose does. Waxy carnation! Or maybe that’s chrysanthemum. One of the florals has turned plasticy-powdery and it’s throwing off the whole blend. Drydown - Thankfully, I’m experiencing more of the spicy musk and plum now. This might just turn out to be wearable yet! It’s got some body and depth to it once the waxy wet nightmare dries out. Verdict - I love "The Jabberwocky," and I really want to love this blend. It requires further testing.

In the imp - Fir, baby. And smoke. I hope the patch doesn’t kill me. Wet - Interesting. Woods on the East Coast. This has patchouli and I don’t immediately hate it. It’s a little strong for my nose, but I’ll wait for it to dry before I judge. Drydown - I totally get the Samhain comparisons. The dirtiness of Samhain ruined the whole blend for me, but this is less dirty and more earthy. I am SO happy Samhain has a baby brother. (And I DO mean brother; it’s a fairly masculine scent.) The wood here is very dry, like one spark would send the whole place up in flames. The extreme drydown is a little funky, though I really have to get my nose right up in there to detect the funk. Verdict - For me, the evergreen makes it more of a winter scent. But hey, winter in Southern California is basically an extended autumn. I’m not sure where I would possibly wear this, but I can’t bring myself to swap it. For now, it’s going into the “retest” box.

In the imp - Buttery foody spice. Wet - OH, BUTTER. This is cake, but one that isn’t done baking quite yet. The center is still doughy. Drydown - And those must be the currants. Wow, this is not what I was expecting at all. I think I like it, but the currant is SO strong. Probably because my skin ate up all the cake smell. There’s just a vague vanilla butteriness now. It’s nice, but not something I’d wear. Verdict - After being told this was the holy grail of foodiness, I’m a bit disappointed. I know I’m the one to blame here; I’ll have to try it in an oil burner or something.

In the bottle - Green like grass, with a medicinal LAVENDER yelling at me. Wet - Sandalwood and daisies. A little more astringent than I’d like. Oh, patchouli. Patchouli and … headache potential. Go ahead and ruin my dreams, why don’t you. There’s still a little bourbon vanilla sweetness underneath everything, so not all is lost. Drydown - SO much better on drydown. Now it’s sweet grasses in a warm summer breeze. I wish it was like this right out of the gate. It’s cozy and sweet with a nip of herbal. Verdict - This is lovely once it reaches its “sweet grasses” destination, but I’m not really willing to wait for it to get there every time I want to wear this. I will retest before I swap, but I’m not a particularly patient person and I can’t envision sitting through a 1+ hour awkward period before my desired scent makes an appearance.

In the bottle - I was about to write down my thoughts, and I realized my impression was almost identical to the scent notes: Orange wedges floating in a bowl of holiday apple cider. Wet - Candied, spicy orange slices like the ones people hang on their Christmas trees. Actually, come to think of it I’m getting trees too. Smells like pine, but I guess it’s firewood or hawthorn. Clove is also getting in on the action, with maybe a pinch of sassafras. Drydown - This strikes me as a cross between Autumn Cider and Bob Cratchit’s Hearth. Verdict - Winner. It’s definitely an autumn/winter scent. Weirdly, I’m excited to try layering it. Not that this can’t be worn on its own -- because it can -- but the possibilities for layering seem endless.

In the imp - Vetiver, patchouli and lavender combine forces for a problem scent smackdown! Wet - I'm getting a vibrant burst of yuzu and mint on application. The scent is trying to redeem itself with sandalwood and musk. A valiant effort, but I doubt it will come to much. Drydown - This is kind of stale on me. Probably all my problem notes fighting the sandalwood. Verdict - Nope, not for me. Might be a great Halloween costume scent though.

In the imp - Clean and herbal, almost like soap. Wet - Aaaand we have honey. I’m worried this will erupt into the nightmare most honey turns into on me. Drydown - This is actually quite nice. It’s a little sharp, but it’s still far mellower than most honeys I’ve tried. Verdict - Surprisingly OK for a honey scent. If honey gives you trouble, this might be a love-it-or-hate-it scent for you.

In the imp - A little bit dusty. There’s a green bitterness to it as well. Wet - This is more of the orange peel instead of the actual orange. I think that’s where the bitterness was coming from. There is zero berry, and I’m disappointed. Drydown - Unfortunately, there is no fruit punch in here for me. Not even a berry. It’s a slightly bitter orange peel. Verdict - I really thought this would be a win for me, but I’ve got to pass.

In the imp - Soft and fluttery floral. Wet - Sweetpea is commanding the stage. It’s almost too powdery for me to handle. There’s also musk swimming behind the cloud of floral, and if I concentrate I can smell the sage. Drydown - The sage is totally redeeming the blend. The sweet herbal aspect of sage swoops in and blows away the powder. This is soft and herbal and floral … it’s like lavender, if lavender decided to play nice for once. It burns off into a delightful sage musk toward the 30-minute mark. Verdict - Though this was lovely, it spends a bit too much time in “little-girl floral” territory. Swap.

In the imp - Lemon sugar. Wet - Lemon frosting? If you typically avoid lemon because it’s bitter and citrusy on you, I urge you to give this a shot. Drydown - OK, so I was a Girl Scout for 10 years and I got to know the cookie selection pretty well. This smells exactly like the Lemon Pastry Cremes we used to sell. I see how some of you are getting dish soap lemon or Pledge (after all, the description does say “citrus solvent”), but for me this is lemon pastry. Verdict- I’m not a citrus person, but this will be my first purchase if I ever change my mind about citruses in general sense.

In the imp - This is a touch metallic. Then again, maybe I’m getting that impression because the label is old and stained. Wet - The sweetness of the honey is rapidly making itself known. Too bad it’s a problem note for me. Drydown - Aaaand now we have vetiver coming in to ruin things for me. My skin drinks up the sweetness of this quickly and completely; the only thing left is the darkness of the other notes. Verdict - This could be nice on the right person, but it’s not for me. Swap.

In the imp - Holy crap, it’s blackberry rum! Wet - Blackberry brandy and rum, through and through. I do get a little tea, and I can detect some ouzo too, but maybe that’s just because I’m so familiar with real-life ouzo. Drydown - It’s a linear blend that fades very quickly on me. Gosh, my skin chemistry is turning this almost aquatic. A fruity aquatic, but aquatic nonetheless. Curious. Verdict - This is such a fun scent! No idea where I’ll wear it, but I see myself hanging on to it for a while!

In the bottle - SARSAPARILLA! Oh, and some cream. Wet - The spiciness of the sassafras cuts straight through the milky cream, which all but disappears on me. That’s fine; milk notes rarely work for me anyway. I was hoping for a little vanilla action, though I'm OK with this as is. Drydown - This sarsaparilla apparently has something to prove. It's super aggressive, and something about the milkiness clings to the scent even though the cream has mostly disappeared. The blend turns a little sour and plastic on me -- typical of most milky notes when paired with my skin chemistry. Honestly ... for a root beer fix, I'd prefer Stimulating Sassafras Strengthener or Slaugh to Anti-Saloon League. I know them’s fightin’ words in these here parts, but I can’t help it! Verdict - I feel the need to confess that I am a root beer whore. Root beer, sarsaparilla, birch beer, everything in that general family. I REALLY wanted to love Anti-Saloon League, but unfortunately it didn’t satisfy me. Besides souring the blend, the milky aspect turned the sassafras away from sarsaparilla territory and toward the lighter Mug or A&W brand root beers. I’m a fan of the darker spicy brews myself. Combine that with the fact that my skin ate the scent inside of 15 minutes, and I’ve got one for the swap pile.

In the bottle - Sweeter than expected with a little powderiness to it. Hopefully it's the same kind of powdered cherry from Bloody Mary. Wet - Citrusy sweet floral. I understand the Rosy Maple comparisons, but this is far less sweet thanks to the dry woods note and whatever powder is sprinkled into the blend. Drydown - This remains powdery, musky citrus candy on me. Perhaps it’s a little more fruity now than it was on application, though there is still more citrus-powder than anything else. Maybe rose is in this blend? Roses fit into the scent description of "porcine pink and blood red," plus that would explain all the mustiness. My skin hates rose. Verdict - This could be beautiful on the right person, but it's going in my swap pile.

In the bottle - Full, plummy goodness with some spice. Wet - The brown sugar in this is VERY reminiscent of Sugar Skull. Sassafras is always a favorite for me, and the kick of clove spice just seals it all together into pure WIN. Drydown - Minimal morphing. It’s a tad drier than before, but this dusky brown sugar is just as welcome as it was when it was fresh. Verdict - This will get steady wear in my collection, especially in the fall.

2012 version In the imp - Sickly sweet. Wet - I’m pulling an almost green scent from this. Or is it … powder? Something I really don’t like. Drydown - I get the sickly, vampiric vibe from this. It smells slightly spoiled. The blackness of the cherry is drowning everything else, and the mystery funk is permeating the entire blend. Verdict - I really wanted to like this, and the notes should have worked for me, but something went awry and I’ve got to put it in the swap pile. The scent description suggests layering with Lick It. The closest thing I have is Lick It Softly, and it does layer quite well. Still, I don’t think it’s something I’ll wear.

In the bottle - Sharp white mint with some sort of undercurrent … maybe it’s the tea? Or the khus. Vetiver is usually the culprit when something goes wonky. Wet - The odd-man-out intruder note fades upon application. So does a lot of the initial mintiness, leaving a sharp mint with soft throw. My eyes start to water if I get my nose up close to it. This shit is potent. Drydown - Someone else described this as a York Peppermint Pattie without the chocolate, and that’s exactly what I’m getting. I’ve never liked chocolate, so I have vivid childhood memories of taking all the candy, mints, etc. in the house and stripping them of their chocolate shells. Stentor is very similar to Andes Chocolate Mints, sans chocolate. Ah, memories. Verdict - I kinda like this, though not enough to hang onto my entire bottle, and certainly not enough to look for more. I’ll keep a decant for when I need to clear my sinuses. The tea wasn’t a problem, and I really couldn’t get anything besides white mints and juniper. Lime, champaca, tea? Nope. Vetiver? Only the first couple minutes.

In the bottle - Someone else’s review used the word rancid, and I totally get it now. I’m close to using the word revolting. Wet - This is a hollow, empty, artificial spice. There is none of the pumpkin that you’d tend to expect from something with pumpkin in the name. It’s just the spiced syrup that Starbucks dumps in your drink. Somehow, the aroma feels lacking and I feel gypped. Drydown - It gets a little better after about 15 minutes. I don’t want to wash it off anymore, at least. It’s almost cinnamon single-note on me. Verdict - Since I’m not a coffee girl, I can’t layer this with the coffee/cocoa-scented oils that might really make it sing. And I’m definitely not wearing it on its own. I’ll wait a year or so to see if it ages into something OK, but then it’s swapsville.