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antimony

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  1. antimony

    2006 went by so fast!

    By antimony,

    Seriously, where the hell did 2006 go?
     
    It was a big year for me. I went to England, I passed an actuarial exam, my mom had her hip replaced, I bought a house - I feel like there were even more big things that happened, but I don't even remember anymore. But needless to say - It was quite a full year.
     
    This year, I'm hoping for a little more simplicity. I still want to pass exams, but I'd be happy to let the rest of my life chill out a little bit, and spend a year on personal growth and stuff.
     
    I set some pretty ambitious dance-related goals, but I've resisted making "resolutions" for my regular life.
     
    I do have some plans, though:
    I mentioned it in my dance goals, but I'm working the Couch-to-5k plan already. I'm a week in, and it's so gratifying, though it's hard to believe that I will ever be able to run 3 miles at a time. Once I can, I'm hoping to enter a couple of local 5k races this spring.
    I've been putting together my study plan for my next exam. I'm starting 4 months in advance, so I can take it easy with just studying a couple of days a week, and still make it to 400 hours of study time by the time I sit for the test. If I can put in 400 really, honestly committed hours, I should have no trouble passing.
    I'm putting a moratorium on buying stuff. No BPAL, not bath/body stuff, no tea, no books, no yarn, etc. I have more than enough of all of the above, and I'm just not going to buy more until I use what I've got. It's all just sitting around waiting to go bad or go stale, and taking up space. This way, I save money, I don't let the things I already have go to waste, and most importantly, I get back the space I was using to store all of that stuff. And I am 100% sure I need less clutter in my life.

    There we are, no resolutions, just a few straightforward goals. (and I think there's a huge difference between goals and resolutions.)
  2. antimony
    I have a good friend who has had a lot of trouble with her finances. My boyfriend has trashed his too. His stupid brother makes 6 figures, and is still so damn broke that he sometimes has to borrow money to pay for groceries at the end of the month.
     
    I am constantly frustrated with finding out just what my friends *don't* know about personal finance. I'm not talking about investing in stocks, etc. Just simple things, like how to maintain a little savings, manage their credit cards, shop for basic insurance, etc.
     
    I hate the fact that society somehow assumes you lear about money management at home, but the fact of the matter is that most people's parents aren't capable of giving the advice their kids need. Now that people get married when they're older, a lot of people have to figure out how to get their finances off to a good start when they're still single, while their parents may have already been married and living off two incomes at their age. Also, let's face it, the economy has changed a lot since most of our parents were 25.
     
    The number one piece of bad advice that too many of my friends have tried and failed at: "Make a detailed budget and stick to it."
     
    Ha!
     
    Only the most compulsive among us can actually make that work. That's not to say a budget isn't a valuable tool. I have one. I break costs down into general categories, and use it not to plan future spending, but instead to track retrospectively where my money goes.
     
    The simple fact is that purchases expand to use all available money. I get paid twice a month. So on the first of the month, I pay all of the bills due in the first half of the month, and on the 15th, I pay all the bills due in the 2nd half of the month.
     
    Also on the 1st and 15th, I have a set amount automatically transfered into my savings account. Personal Finance books call this "paying yourself first". After my savings is taken care of, I spend whatever is left however I want with no guilt.
     
    Anyway, it's true what they say. If you take it out at the beginning, you really don't miss it. When you're worried all month about coming in under budget, it's stressful. When you know you've already taken care of savings, money management is much more straightforward day-to-day. Even if you just put $25 out of each paycheck in the bank, in a year, you'll have $600 in the bank. And even though that doesn't sound like much, it represents a helpful financial cushion in case you have sudden expenses. If you can slowly increase the amount you put away, you come out even further ahead.
     
    As for a budget... At the end of every month, I download all of my transactions from my bank, pull it into excel, then sort them all out into categories: Rent/Food/Gas/Bellydance/Eating Out/Etc. Each month I sit down and go over them, and take stock of where my money is going. If I find that something is out of balance, I try to make practical changes. For example, if I see that I have been going overboard on eating out, I make that something to be conscious of in the following month. I don't aim to be compulsive about my spending, just conscious of it.
     
    I think that is most of my friends' biggest problem. They spend unconsciously. If they just asked themselves, "Will this item be worth as much benefit to me as the amount of time I have to spend working to make the money to pay for it?" - BPAL, a great vacation, etc are things that meet that criteria for me. More brightly-colored knicknacks from Target don't.
     
    Anyway, I'm done ranting now.
  3. antimony
    So I was lame and skipped last weeks garden pics, but honestly, the summer has already peaked, and the garden isn't changing much.
     
    The big tomato is still lush and huge. We picked a huge bowl of tomatoes for a salad this afternoon.

     
    The experimental tomato has also turned into a jungle. tomato production has slowed down since the weather cooled off, so I'm hoping at least some of those flowers become tomatoes before the frost comes. I'll be happy to make a big pile of fried green cherry tomatoes when the time comes, but I want more tomatoes!

     
    Still trying to figure out what to do with all the habaneros

     
    The Christmas cactus leaf isn't showing any sprouts, but it isn't whithering either. (I guess it's been 3 weeks since I planted it)

     
    The jade leaves, however, shrivelled up to nothing. Pout. I need to pick something else for that pot.

  4. antimony
    I've been studying all day.
     
    I just stomped out into the living room and had a very nice ranty monologue about how the two problems on the May 05 exam that involved Buhlmann credibility with Poisson distributions were very easy credibility problems, *but* one expected you to just look at the distribution function and just *know* that it's a Pareto distribution, and the other relied on knowing the formula for solving gamma integrals, which I guess is just one more thing to memorize, but seriously, has nothing to do with Buhlmann credibilty at all, it's a computational technique.
     
    Imagine me going into a *lot* more detail about my displeasure. Imagine my boyfriend smiling sympathetically, and nodding in all the right places. Then asking me, "did you have a nice conversation with yourself?" It wasn't mean the way he said it, just cute.
     
    Anyway, It's going to be a tough 4 days, but I think Wednseday, I have a pretty good chance to nail it.
  5. antimony

    Building a community

    By antimony,

    Evanesce wrote:
     
     
    I think right now, most people's blogs consist mostly of "this is my first post" and a few exploratory entries, trying to figure out what they want to say. I'm hoping that once people realy figure out what they want their blogs to say, and settle into their voices, there will be a lot more to comment on.
     
    I've always wondered how people on the forum built personal friendships. I don't think of myself as shy, but I've also never just out of the blue PM'ed people, and it's been on only very seldom that people have out of the blue PM'ed me. maybe I just don't sound interesting or inviting when I type. But I do certainly wonder.
     
    As for the chat, I've ducked in a few times and it was empty, but I guess I should stay in so when someone else comes by, then it *won't* be empty. I hope it takes off... I really enjoyed the #bpal IRC chats we used to get going. I'd love to see that become a regular thing.
     
    On an unrelated note, I think I'm going to be the first to use the trackback function. I love trackback.
  6. antimony
    Oh. My. God.
     
    My boss called me in to her office this morning to tell me she just put in her two weeks notice. I'm happy for her, she's going to a larger insurance company where there's more upward potential for her (she's already the senior actuary in our little division) But dude, again?
     
    I first came on board with this company last September. I was brought on to work for a guy who was crazy smart. Unfortunately, his work style did not mesh super-well with the rest of the office. He ended up jumping ship this past spring to go be the chief actuary at another small company. I wasn't too bummed out, since I ended up wotking for *his* boss, who was also a super-actuary She's the one who quit today.
     
    This is even more familiar, because when I first got hired out of school at the big consulting firm I worked for in San Francisco, I got hired by seriously one of the most brilliant actuaries I have ever met, and worked directly under him for the coolest 6 months ever. Then he got headhunted away to be chief actuary at a big insurance company. After that, I ended up working for a couple of mediocre-by-comparison managers who totally didn't inspire me, but at least they didn't quit (Well, one of them did, almost right after I did - that would explain why he was so happy for me!)
     
    Part of me has gotten into the habit of thinking (is it me? Do they hate having me work for them so much? But you know, that's really just not it. Somehow, thanks to good interview skills, good luck, whatever, I have managed to maneuver myself into these great positions. Even 6 months working under a mega-egg-brain is so much more educational than 3 yars working for someone who's just average. Unfortunately, having a mega-egg-brain opens a lot of doors, and those are the kind of people getting chief-actuary-type jobs thrown at them. And until i get to management-level, I won't be reporting directly to chief-actuary-level people.
     
    I guess the only thing to do is keep doing what I'm doing now, maneuvering myself to work for managers who are right on that susp, to learn as much as I can right now.
  7. antimony

    Contradictions

    By antimony,

    Sometimes, when I'm really wrapped up in studying and stuff, I get hit in the head with this incredibly intense melencholy. Out of nowhere, I suddenly get all sad about being so boring, so unsatified with my un-rock-star-ness.
     
    I get all nostalgic for nights spent up all night talking music and philosophy, ending up at a crepe shop for breakfast, our makeup all smeared, exhausted and intelectually sated. Or working the door at crazy shows. Or rolling at parties, being all talkative and one with the universe.
     
    I start getting this thought like I wish I had some musical talent, so then I could be in a band, then I'd *really* be a rock star. But I know tons of people in bands, and I know the whole rock star thing, doesn't really happen. And even when people give it a go, it's not really all that much fun.
     
    Well, then maybe I need a glamorous, exciting, interesting hobby. Then I smack myself upside the head. I have the single most beutiful belly dance dress ever made hanging in my closet as we speak, and I'll be dancing in it in a week and a half in front of a giant theater full of people. I *do* have a glamorous hobby.
     
    I guess I'm mostly just lamenting getting too old for those up-all-night talking music, art, and the nature of the universe things.
  8. antimony

    Disjoint thoughts

    By antimony,

    My brain is all over the place... come back, brain!

    I did take garden pictures last weekend, I'll post them tonight.
    Last weekend, I took my parents' cat back home to Kentucky. She was staying with me while my parents were out of town. Well, according to my mom, the cat is totally out of sorts since I left, sulking, only coming out when she's on the phone. My poor kitty. I am giving my mom instructions to pick the cat up a lot, call her silly pet names, and basically do all of the things she never tolerated when she was younger and snootier.
    I have a nasty headache. I took advil and drank a big glass of water, but neither is helping.
    Rusty was out late at the campaign office waiting for the primary results to come in. This would be the 2nd night in a row of crummy sleep because I hate to sleep in our bed alone. (Though I sleep fine alone in my old room at my parents house, but that kind-of makes sense)
    Perhaps the bad sleep and the headach are related. Nah, that would make too much sense.
    The guy whose campaign Rusty was working on didn't win the primary. He was the leader in St. Louis County, but lost in St. Charles and Lincoln counties. Damn. Also, there was a pretty sane, rational guy runing against the incumbent in the Republican primary, I would have liked to see him in the election, but he got crushed.
    Mercifully, no one here is stomping around about running as an independent.
    Dear Joe Lieberman,
    Put on your big boy pants and deal with it. You lost. Fair and square, you lost. If you wanted to run as an independent you should have started there to begin with, but you threw your hat in the ring with the democrats, and you lost. YOU LOST. Seriously, grow up.
    I love my plants. I snagged leaves off of my mom's jade plant and christmas cactus when I was home visiting. They're both suposedly pretty easy to propagate, so I hope I can convince them to sprout. I've got them outside in the heat with ust a tiny bit of water every couple of days, so I'm hoping the mama leaves don't succumb to rotting. As long as the mama leaves are ok, there will be baby plants... eventually. Though I'm hoping the warm weather will help them sprout a little faster.
    I am so in love with the idea of sharing plants, and growing plants off of cuttings from friends and family. There's something warmer and sweeter about it than just buying something at Lowes (not that I don't have a bunch of Lowes plants too)
    Yesterday, we cleaned the kitchen so I could make lasagna. I love my clean kitchen. I just want to stand in the middle of it and bask in its wonderfulness.
    Tonight, I'm going to do something similar with the living room, so I can lie on the couch and bask in its wonderfulness too.
    When I'm PMS-y, I get the overwhelming urge to clean. This is good, since it means the apartment is clean once a month, at least. Today, while I'm home for lunch, I'm going to fold laundry. Fun! I need to remember to pick up some mesh laundry bags next time I'm at Target.
    I am absolutely enchanted by those liquid soaps that foam by themselves. I've got one from Method in the bathroom, it smells like green tea and aloe, and feels so soft and nice. In the kitchen, I've got Dial that's all yummy and pear-scented. And when I was visiting my parents, I used the Aveno facial cleanser that foams itself, and loved it too. I just really love the foam texture, and the fact that it soesn't leave you with little soapy blobs or slimy smears to try and rinse off your hands and face. Plush, I just enjoy foam.
    Saturday morning, I am hauling myself to the salon as soon as it opens, and getting my legs, underarms and eyebrows waxed, and getting a manicure and pedicure. In a spa chair. And I'm going to ask them to paint cherry blossoms on my big toenails. (In general, I am against "nail art" on principle... but I like having little sakura blossoms on my big toes. Everybody needs a little whimsy in their life)
    Why won't this damn headache go away?

  9. antimony
    Like a lot of other people, I have some blog-like things elsewhere on the web, but I don't update them much. On the other hand, even if I don't post often, I am lurking here at the forums a lot, so maybe I'll be more inclined to post.
     
    Anyway, I just got back from a week in London, so hopefully soon I'll have a bunch of pictures to post.
  10. antimony
    I've been on the forum forever. Like, I joined when it wasn't even bpal.org yet. I have a double-digit member number, and what looks like a ton of posts, but when you spread it out over how long I've been here... Anyway, the forum has gotten huge, and I don't feel like I connect very much anymore. I feel like the bulk of the community (at least the people talking) are students or artists, or whatever. And my spreadsheet-jockey, buisiness-casual lifestyle really doesn't fit in.
     
    And the funny thing is, I feel like I used to. Certainly the community has opened up to wholeheartedly embrace all kinds of people, but every thread that bashes private colleges or higher education just turns my stomach. Every thread that dumps on people essentially for having disposable income and then, gasp, spending it! Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive, but I'm not taking away from anyone else by being successful, and the pattern of every time lifestyle/socioeconomic class/income/etc comes up in a thread, the undercurrent is that is is somehow inherently immoral to be well off just irritates the crap out of me. I work hard, have a valuable skill, and made some good choices. I earned my good life.
     
    I did not grow up rich. I did not grow up priveledged. We moved to the US when I was a little kid, My dad was a professor at a state college, and my mom was a post-doc. But they worked hard, and I learned a lot about what it takes to "make it."
     
    I am not evil. I am envionmentally conscious. I drive a fairly fuel-efficient car, and live close to work so I won't have a crazy commute. I grow vegetables on my balcony. I believe in universal access to health care, and education. I believe in having a social safety net. But I also believe that once you give everyone the same opportunity for success, that's it. People deserve the same opportunities, they don't deserve the same outcomes. Your life is what you make of it. My life is what I made of it too.
     
    I don't know what brought this on... Certainly not a specific thread recently... I guess I'm just feeling like I like it a lot better over here on the blog side where the community is a lot smaller, and we're all following each other's lives in a personal way. Over here, I don't feel reduced to a cartoon yuppie. I don't feel like a freak for my "egg brain" I don't feel like I'm making anyone else feel bad about themselves over here, either. Grr.
  11. antimony
    So I took the exam about 3 weeks ago...
     
    It took me this long to recover enough to be willing to blog about it!
     
    Anyway, The test was 4 hours and 35 questions. All calculation/numerical questions, but multiple choice, so no opportunity for partial credit if you make arithmetic mistakes.
     
    Although it's against the rules, a lot of people take their MC letter answers out of the test. The evening of the test (after the sittings are done in all time zones) one person will usually volunteer to run the PAK (popular answer key), and everybody sends them their answers. They then create a key based on the idea that usually wrong answers are fairly evenly distributed between the different wrong answer choices (with the exception of tricky questions that trick people into one specific wrong answer) so that the right answers are usually the plurality of answers for each question. The PAK is usually right to within a question or 2.
     
    According to the PAK, I got 24/35. The pass mark is usually 21-22. (The pass mark is set each sitting after the tests are all scored. Although the societies say that the exams are not "curved", it's pretty clear that the pass mark is usually set to keep the passing percentage pretty steady)
     
    I'm not going to tempt fate by claiming I passed, but the odds are pretty decent I may have pulled it off. I won't know officially until July 14.
  12. antimony
    I love the "notes" feature in Flickr. I took pictures of my brown, dead winter yard, and notated where I've planted all of my bulbs (or at least where I think I've planted them) The pictures are kinda boring, but I'm excited and looking forward to a few months from now, when things start sprouting, and I can match them up to the pictures.
     
    Have a look at all the ugly landscaping I'm trying to work around!
  13. antimony
    For those of you that are following the progress of my garden, here are this week's pictures: Please excuse my complete inability to work the autofocus this week.
     
    The enormous tomato: (It's a one-plant jungle) I finally did give in and loosely tie the stems to the hanging hook with old knee-highs, since I was starting to feel concerned that the stems were getting *really* heavy.

     
    Here's a cluster of little tomatoes:

     
    And here's the tomato I showed you guys last week. It's cherry-sized, but instead of being round, it's shaped like a regular tomato!

     
    The experimental tomato, however, is still languishing. Not dead, but not really all that alive either:

     
    The pepper is taking off, it's covered in buds, and I'm really looking forward to having a huge crop of habaneros in a month or two:

     
    The strawberries? The plants look healthy enough, but they are still not growing flowers:

     
    Finally, check out my morning glories/moonflowers: (I've made them a trellis out of jute twine) Despite the look of the picture, they are not speeding acoss my balcony at 60mph!

  14. antimony
    I'm sure no one noticed that I'm late with my update this week... And to make it worse, some of the pictures are terribly out of focus.
     
    I took these pictures of a bloom on my rose last week - The bloom is about 1.5 inches across: (There are a total of 7 unopened buds on the plants)


     
    This are the plants again on sunday. It's blury, like I said, but you can see a bunch of buds opening:

     
    See my strawberry plants putting out runners:

     
    Although the picture is blury, you can see what a behemoth my tomato plant has become:

     
    Finally, my morning glories/moonflowers have made it as high as the railing... I don't expect blooms for another month or so, but I hope once they grow into a space with more sunlight, they'll grow faster:

  15. antimony

    Getting caught up

    By antimony,

    I'm doing a bunch of laundry. I just cleaned up my nails. I'm getting a lot done tonight. I should get up and put in another load.
     
    I feel kinda bitchy. I didn't like what my boy made for dinner tonight. And he made a huge wok full. It was this weird mish-mash of stir fry, with tofu, over rice noodles. That part was fine. But it was drenched in this insane sauce made of a mix of all sorts of bits from the fridge and pantry. He really likes mixed up cacophanies of flavor... I don't. And this was a mix of barbecue sauce, and 2 or 3 different chinese and thai sauces. I felt bad for telling him I didn't like it and making something else, but I just couldn't eat it.
     
    After yesterday's rant, I went for the bpal this morning... I was reminded how much I love Stardust. And I don't even *like* florals. It makes me so happy. I haven't worn BPAL to bed for a long time either, I need to pull out something yummy tonight.
  16. antimony
    Oh my god, I had my first fresh tomatoes today, and they were *divine*. Nothing at all like store-bought. This will be a wonderful summer.
     
    So, I re-potted the experimental tomato (I felt so bad for it). The pot is actually plastic, and is nice and light. Oddly enough, the little tomato started ripening right after I re-potted the plant. This little tomato was about 2/3 of an inch across:

     
    Here's the plant in it's little pot:

     
    The big tomato also had a tomato ripen. (I was out of town all weekend, and ofcourse they started ripening as soon as I wasn't there to see it) Here's the tomato on the plant:

     
    Here it is on a little saucer: It's just over an inch across.

     
    Here's the whole brutish plant. The roses need to be deadheaded. Also, check out the dragon guarding my little garden (I got him on clearance at Target today)

     
    My pepper plant is still very bushy, and *dripping* in peppers:

     
    I'm thinking or naming my strawberry plants, "The Rapunzels":

     
    Finally, I think I have my very first morning glory/moonflower bud! I don't actually know which.

  17. antimony
    I'm going to start with the seriously most spectacular thing in my rarden right now:

     

     
    The runners on my strawberries are putting out runners!

     
    My tomato is gi-normous!!!

     
    Check out the little green tomatos!

     

     
    And my peppers are looking petty awesome too:

     

     
    Finally, my vines have made it well up and over the railing:

  18. antimony
    I'm PMS-ing. I have had a couple of little smudges in my panties today, but it really hasn't gotten started yet.
     
    I have a seriously bitchy headache. My skull feels brittle. I feel like the right side of my brain is swolen. I tried to study for a couple of hours then gave up. I'm drinking strawberry chocolate iced tea and waiting for the advil to kick in.
     
    This is my first summer using cloth pads, and I was a little afraid it would be hot to have flannel in my panties. I am pleasantly surprised. Yeah they're a little warm, but not *nearly* as hot as disposables. Also, forgive the TMI, but I am somewhat prone to getting a sweaty crotch... since the wings that wrap around are absorbant flannel as well, I don't get clammy around my upper thighs.
     
    Rusty is out at the Drinking Liberally social tonight. Honestly, I'm kinda glad he's out of the house. I like the alone time. I'm feeling cranky and antisocial.
     
    To feed my antisocialness, I'm watching Top Chef. Mmm. Snarky.
  19. antimony
    Godwin's Law says whoever invokes Nazis/Hitler in an argument first loses.
     
    In addition to this, a friend and I decided today that if, in the course of an internet argument someone declares their authorativeness based on being a member of MENSA, they also automatically lose.
  20. antimony
    I got home from Atlanta yesterday.
     
    I was there for a weeklong exam-prep seminar. I've mentioned on the forum that I am an actuary, midway through the 9 exam process of becoming fully credentialed as a Fellow of the Casualty Actuary Society.
     
    So, this exam covers a number of topics:
    Loss Modeling
    Survival Models
    Credibility Theory
    Simulation
    Interpolation and fitting

    It took 4.5 full days to take a sprint through all of the material, including problem solving techniques. I would guess that the material covered would take about 3 full semester college classes. Unfortunately, outside of a handful of colleges with actuarial science programs (which generally only prepare people for the first 4 exams, anyway), the whole actuarial exam thing is all self-study. I've been studying for two months now, and the seminar I went to was basically an opportunity to fine tune which topics need more study, and to learn useful clues to look for in the wording of problems to simplify solving.
     
    I have 5 weeks left before the exam. I have scheduled for myself 32 hours a week outside of work for studying:
    4 hours per day - Mon, Tues, Wed, Fri
    Tursday nights off for dance class and sanity
    8 Hours per day Saturday and Sunday

    Ooof. This is going to be a rough 5 weeks. To get in at least *some* excercise, I am planning morning yoga a couple of mornings a week. I'm home for lunch today, and doing laundry. I will have to fit chores in at odd times, and will be needing all of my boyfriend's support. He's a sweetie though, and very understanding.
     
    I was talking to a number of actuarial students this past week whose spouses/partners didn't get it. Like, "Come on honey, you've been studying for like 2 hours. I'm sure you'll be fine. Put it down and spend time with me!" That's the nasty part, most study guides say that it takes 300-500 hours of study time to pass each of these exams. That takes a lot more than 2 hours each saturday morning. I had a boyfriend like that, and my abject misery at failing exams over and over didn't help the relationship any.
     
    Anyway, I have to go move the laundry to the dryer and head back to work. Oof.
  21. antimony
    I must say, even though I am not usually the kind of person who waxes poetic about commercial services... I could have the turbotax people's babies this morning.
     
    I've been using Turbotax for the web for the past 5 years (Which is cool on its own, since they have PDFs of my last 5 tax returns available right there online.) It's a great tool, I've been really happy with it when I didn't have very complicated taxes. Since I don't own a house, I usually take the standard deduction, super easy.
     
    When I first moved to California, though, That first year I had to file state taxes in both California and Kentucky. At that point in time, Turbotax only let you do one state tax return. It was a total headache. States don't make it easy, at all.
     
    Anyway, this year, I have to file taxes in both California and Missouri. I was looking forward to the messy process of trying to figure out if I should file resident or non resident in each state, and figuring out how to deduct one state's taxes in the calculation for the other and all that stupid crap, when, lo and behold, Turbotax for the web tells me it can do up to 3 state income taxes and make them all work amongst themselves correctly. Dude, how awesome is that? I have to pay a whole new fee for each state's return, but I know that that extra $30 is saving me hours of confusion, and I sure as hell know that my time is worth it.
     
    I did all of my taxes in an hour this morning. I think this deserves a trip to Starbucks.
  22. antimony

    Hyperventilating!

    By antimony,

    In just over 4 hours, I will be a home owner!
     
    The scay part is getting the enormous cashier's check. I've been just staring at my bank account balance all weekend, all of my down payment money is in there, and I've never had so much money all at once.
     
    I'm going to own a house! I'm so excited!
  23. antimony
    So Rusty had to go back in to work today. He left at 6, and I was expecting him at home around 8-ish.
     
    Just before 8, I heard an indistinct scratching rattle noise outside. I thought it was Rusty digging through his pockets for his keys. To be nice, I opened the front door. Immediately, something furry ran in, and I squealed and ran out.
     
    Anyway, I hung out in the breezeway, nearly hyperventilating, for about 10-15 minutes until he got home, and met him out in the parking lot, then explained quite panickedly about the situation and why I couldn't go back inside until he took care of the unidentified creature.
     
    Please note we have the worlds two most useless cats. Carmen is old and very blase about such things, she would not wake up from her beauty sleep for some random woodland creature. Pushkin just gets bewildered.
     
    Anyway, Pushkin was some use, he was able to lead Rusty to where the creature was cowering. Rusty ended up putting a box over it, and sliding another piece of cardboard underneath. We took the box out to the nearest stand of trees (our apartment complex is kind-of built around existing clumps of trees. It looks beautiful, but sometimes I feel like we're a little *too* close to nature)
     
    It turns out the unexpected houseguest was a very cute, but completely terrified squirrel. Poor guy. I wonder what convinced him to scratch on my door to get in.
  24. antimony

    I messed up. Big Time.

    By antimony,

    Oh my god, I dropped the ball. I undid a ton of really hard work with a little oversight. Something no one in their right mind should have done.
     
    So you know those exams I talk about periodically? And you know how I've been studying for this one, and my company sent me to Chicago for a week to prepare, and bought me hundreds of dollars of books? I forgot to register.
     
    It would have taken me 10 minutes, and I forgot to do it.
     
    My boss has been fairly supportive. That is, once he finished laughing at me. I know he didn't mean to be mean. I can certainly see the humor in it. And they're not making me pay back the money or anything, unless I quit my job before next fall, which I doubt I'll do.
     
    I feel like an idiot, a bonehead. And the sad thing is that telling my boss was the easy part. Now I wonder how I'll tell my mom! She'll be disapointed and angry, and I just won't be able to bear it. Even though there's nothing she can do to me. And I'll here about it for the rest of my exam-taking career. My mom will nag me about every one, reminding me to register because "remember how unhappy I was this time", every sitting for the next 3 or 4 years until I'm done. Worse than that, for *at least* the next 10 years, she'll bring it up whenever I have to remember something important. I won't get to live it down.
     
    She'll ask me if I am depressed. I am not depressed, I am exhausted. I have been traveling far too much lately, and I hate it. It throws off my schedule, it throws off my rhythm, and I just don't enjoy it. 3 of the 4 trips were to see my parents, and it's great to see them, and they want to see me as often as possible, but they don't really understand how much it wears me out. They don't get how hard it is on me to be away from my home.
     
    And my mom is having her hip replaced in a week and a half. My parents don't really understand that this is stressful for my sister and I. After all, we're not the ones going through surgery. And yeah, it's a planned thing, not an emergency, but seriously, it's my mom. I am not so excited about facing the fact that she's getting older.
     
    And I'm buying a house. And that's kind of daunting too. I have great credit, and I can afford it, but it's still a really big deal. I want to do it, but I'm afraid of moving again, afraid of change. Afraid of messing something up because I've never done this before. Or what if I forget to do something minor but crucial, and mess up my mortgage the same way I did my exam?
     
    I am so damn tired. I want my mother. (except I want my mother when she's sweet and supportinve, not the way she is when she's all disapointed and disapproving.)
  25. antimony
    I put in an offer on a townhouse yesterday.
     
    Holy crap, this attaching an album to an entry thing is *cool*. Only it seems to only have 9 out of my 11 pictures, and it doesn't include the captions. See the full gallery for more details.
     
    Anyway, check out the pictures. It's an end unit, so I only have a neighbor on one side, and there's no neighbors to the back, just a stand of trees and way back behind those is the fitness center. I ran out of charge on my camera before I got pictures of the bedrooms, but there's really nothing exciting about those.
     
    It's hot a new heating/ac system (with a digital thermostat! so I'll be able to program it to heat when I'm nome and not when I'm not and stuff) and I'll have a full-on laundry room in the basement, where I can have a normal, not stacked washer and dryer. I'm excited.
     
    And this is the development it's in: Chesterfield Village Townhomes
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