When Todd gave me the choice of Vegas or Disney World, the choice was easy. Disney!
I really wanted to go back to Disney World as an adult. I'd been there twice before - once when I was 7, and once when I was 16.
But Todd's been there 4 times (the last time he was about 17), so he always said he didn't want to go back there.
Todd pretty much made my birthday this past year into Todd's Day (he bought a truck for himself, and got a dog I didn't even want on the day we were suppose to celebrate my birthday - he was suppose to plan something special for us to do, and obviously didn't), so I think he wants to make it up to me... so that means I get my trip to Disney World!
We are also going to do something he likes - his favorite wrestling company, TNA, tapes their weekly show at Universal Studios in Florida, so we will be getting tickets to go see that. Plus we plan on spending a day at Universal anyway, since I've never been.
All in all, I'm really excited. It's going to be a wonderful mini-honeymoon.
Unfortunely, my mind always goes to my headaches when I think about doing fun stuff. I will have to make sure I have plenty of time to rest, so I don't get worn out and hurting.
I have good days and bad days when it comes to my headaches. Today is a bad day, because the pain is hard to ignore. It's a cold pack day, and I worry that I don't have enough to get me through the whole day.
Plus, Todd's still sick, so I'll have to go home and do housework, instead of resting myself
Todd and I have decided to start trying for a baby when we get back from Disney
We were going to wait until fall of 2008, but I wanted to start sooner because it might take a while, since we only see each other (and have sex) on the weekends because of our work schedules.
He agreed and last night, he kept trying to convince me to go off my pills like now, which I don't want to do since I don't want to be pregnant for Disney.
I think it's sweet that he's as excited to start for a baby as I am!
But now I have babies on the brain, and now have another reason to wish for fall to come fast!
I tend to go through phases where I'm highly interested in one television show, or one series of books.
Currently, it's 7th Heaven.
My husband had watched it much longer than me, and when we started living together, we'd watch it on and off. This winter though, I started to watch it faithfully every Monday.
I found a used copy of Season 1 at a game store, and it sat on my shelf for a while. I picked it up and started watching it a couple of weeks ago.
I was watching it nearly every day, and I went through Season 1 pretty quick, so I went to eBay to find a copy of Season 2.
I, against my better judgement, bid on a copy, and won, and it arrived yesterday. So, there will be lots of 7th Heaven-ness at my house tonight.
I don't know what I'll do after I finish Season 2 though... Season 3 isn't on DVD yet.
I have a cat, his name is Star. When we bought our house in February, one of the first things we wanted to do was get pets.
I got Star from a shelter in early March, then Todd brought home a dog the day before my birthday, which is near the end of March. The dog didn't work out, because it ended up biting Todd in the face (and trying to bit me), so Star has been our only pet since March.
Well, in the last week or two, there has been the cutest grey kitten hanging around our house. We think it was someone's pet, and they just let the kitty out, and didn't go after it.
The grey kitty is very friendly, and nearly followed me in the house yesterday. I expressed to Todd last weekend that I would love to 'adopt' the grey kitty, since he needs a home.
Well, last night, I had a nightmare, so I got up to get the nintendo so I could play a bit of Mario before going back to sleep. In the process, I got to talk to Todd for a few minutes, and he said "If you want to bring the grey kitty in, you can".
This surprised me, because Todd isn't really a cat person (though he adores Star), and Star won't be happy in the least if we bring another cat (or pet in general) in the house.
So, I'm not sure what to do.
It could be the time of year, but I've been feeling sad and unwanted the last couple of days.
Sadness comes from the fact, mostly, that my dad has sold my childhood home. I'm a little sad that I haven't been there since April 2005, and I won't see it before he sells it. And of course my mom's deathday (and birthday) coming up very soon makes me sad too.
The unwanted comes from wanting to go to various meet and sniffs, but not feeling like anyone really wants me to come.
Of course, not getting enough sleep and having to come to work on a Saturday leads to these feelings as well.
As some of you know, I live my life in pain. I have pain every second of every day, and it's been like this for nearly 4 years now.
I've been called a faker, a whiner, that I bring people down, etc, etc - both on the internet and real life.
My former friends thought I was pretending to have headaches to get attention, and my dad has thought I was pretending to skip out of work, and doctors who thought I was crazy and chemically depressed.
I'm actually a pretty happy person. I'm married to a wonderful man, got a great job, great friends (online and off), and live in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.
This doesn't change the fact that I'm in constant pain, and it does to a degree rule my life.
I did decide, after a very bad incident involves the Hard Rock Cafe in Detroit and the smell of raw onions (one of my headache triggers), that I wasn't going to let the headaches totally rule my life. After the aformentioned incident, my doctor told me that I shouldn't go out to eat, or to concerts, sport events or any place loud. I was all of 26 at the time.
My doctor pissed me off so bad that I came to two conclusions:
1) Trusting doctors is a bad thing for anything more than the flu or a cold - all they did was push drugs on me (that didn't work) and tell me I'm depressed (which if you were in as much pain as I get, you'd have bouts of depression too) and push more drugs on me for that.
2) I can't let the headaches totally rule my life
So, I found things that work for me - cold packs, and lots of sleep. I also kept a journal to figure out what my triggers are.
Though some days there is nothing I can do to prevent the onset of a really bad migraine. Like today - weather is a trigger and we have been having thunderstorms since this afternoon.
I really don't want sympathy (except if your name is Todd and you are married to me ) just understanding. Sometimes the pain is really bad, and I need someone to talk/vent to, and venting online does help.
I'm not a down person - I'm actually a pretty up person. I can have a horrible headache, but still have a smile on my face.
I'm a bit of a writer and here is a new story I've been working on the last couple of days. It's based on a very vivid dream I had last week, and it does involve Bpal, so it's kinda like a fan fic, but not really since the story and world are mine (pretty much). I thought some of you might be interested in reading it. If you are, let me know and I'll post more once I have it written:
Ashley Frogert was a fairly normal young woman. She was a blonde, blue-eyed college graduate who worked at a good, but boring job as an admin. assistant at a big auto manufactor. Her life was a steady routine of work, home time, weekends with friends and then more work.
It was a beautiful day, as Ashley sat at a little outdoor cafe, soaking up sunshine and drinking sweet tea. She looked around, watching the bustle of people who were shopping in the small downtown area.
Her eyes were drawn to an oddity in the crowd. A man with black hair and piercing grey eyes started to move in the direction of the cafe. He looked so out of place because he wore a long black trenchcoat despite the heat out.
Ashley continued to watch him, as she sipped her tea and was quite startled when he stopped and sat at her table.
"Can I help you?" she asked, as a frown came to her lips.
He wasn't looking at her when he sat, but when she spoke his eyes turned on her. A shiver went up her spine when their eyes met.
"I'd just like to sit here for a moment, if you don't mind," he said softly.
She just gave a nod, finding his gaze made it hard for her to breath, let alone speak.
He looked away, surveying the crowded. After a moment, he nearly jumped to his feet, saying "Thank you for the use of your table, ma'am."
Without giving her a chance to reply, he darted away, melting into the crowd. Left alone, Ashley was surprised to realize her heart was racing.
"Who was he," she mumured to herself. She took a few moments to collect herself before she finished her tea, paid her bill and made her way back to work.
She sild into her chair, back at the office, and resumed the project she had been working on before lunch. After a few moment, she noticed her boss, Anne, walk up with a scowl on her face.
"Why did you take such a long lunch?" Anne asked, her voice sounding very angry.
Ashley looked perplexed. "It was the same length as always. An hour on the dot."
"It was longer than that. You need to pay more attention or your job could be in jeopardy!" Anne nearly shouted, then stormed off.
Ashley just blinked with a rather shocked look on her face. Anne never raised her voice to anyone and was usually very cheerful. And lunch breaks were never something that was exact, even on Ashley's first day she was told that she could take as long a lunch as she wanted, just to make it about an hour.
She just tried to shake it off and concentrate on her work. But as the afternoon went on, she became increasely more uncomfortable as all her co-workers seemed to be angry, like Anne was. And oddly enough they all seemed to be watching her every move.
At five, she slipped out of work and was more than a little freaked out to see a pair of large men following her. She hurried her pace, darting into a side street trying to lose them.
She stumbled a bit when she saw that she hadn't lost them, but they were gaining on her. She sped up to a full run, moving out of the alley and into the busy downtown street.
Ashley was running as fast as she could, but the men were now also running and still gaining on her. She was paying more attention to her pursuers than what was in front of her.
She was only a few blocks from the police station when she crashed into someone and tumbled to the ground.
"I'm so sorry," she said, scrambling to her feet, then she got a look at who she ran into. Her eyes widened as she saw it was the man from lunch.
He grabbed her by the arm and began to run. They ducked in and out of alleyways and busy streets until Ashley felt completely lost. After a while, they managed to lose the men who were after her.
"What is going on?" Ashley demanded, after she had caught her breath.
"I'm sorry, it isn't safe to talk here. There is a safehouse nearby," he replied, "I know you have no reason to trust me and I'm really sorry you've become involved."
"Involved in what?!" Ashley exlaimed, "And yes, I don't trust you! I'm not going anywhere with you!"
She turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm and pushed a few small vials into her hand. "I understand, but you won't be safe. If you throw one of those at them, it will slow them down," he said, then told her the address of the safehouse.
She pulled her arm from him and watched as he strode away. Once he was out of sight, she looked down at the vials he had given her. Each had a little paper lable with different names. The names were Vice, Bliss, Dorien and Grog. They also all had the name "Black Phoenix Alchemy Laboratory" on the back of the label.
She put them in her pocket, glanced around and started towards the direction they had come from. She was all turned around, but her plan was to find the police station.
It took her a while but she finally found a street she was familar with. She hurried in the direction of the police, feeling relived when the station was in sight.
As she walked into the station, she felt a shiver go up her back. She turned and saw the two men who were after her earlier.
All the police had angry looks on their faces. Chief Adams walked out of his office. "You gave my boys quite the chase, Miss Froegert. Now if you'll follow me we have much to discuss," he said, giving her a smile that made him look very sadistic.
"What do we need to talk about?" she replied, as she moved one hand very slowly into the pocket with the vials in it "I've never broken the law."
Adam's smile widened "You have something we want and we will have it."
Ashley pulled out the first vial she could put her fingers around. She threw it at the Police Chief's head who laughed until the vial fell to the floor, breaking.
Everyone in the room except Ashley began to act like they couldn't breath. Ashley felt confused since all she smelled was the lovely scent of freshly baked brownies. She didn't linger and ran out of the station feeling utterly bewildered and scared.
Since she had very few options, she turned the direction of the safehouse. The walk was a long one, nearly ten blocks, and a nervous one as well. She kept looking behind her and tried to keep her head down at the same time.
When she reached the address that she was given, she found herself in front of a small store she had never seen before.
Since we bought our house in February, I've been itching to have a party. Since Todd's parents are coming up for the 4th, we are hosting our first party, a 4th of July BBQ.
It will be mostly Todd's familly and friends, though it does sound like a couple we are both friends with are probably going to be able to come.
I'm excited, but I'm sad at the same time - going back to my very whiny comment that I wish I had more friends.
I'm not really sure how to make friends anymore. I tried and organized an Asheville meet & sniff, and it was fun, but it didn't lead anywhere in the friendship department.
I'm not sure where someone goes to meet people in their late twenties / early thirties who like some of the same things I do. I'd love to find another gaming group, but I'm not sure where to find those either (I have looked in every comic shop I go into to see if there is anyone looking for gamers to join a game).
I'm at a loss, and I'm sad about it... mostly because the two friends I have in this town (not counting Todd) seem to be distanting themselves from me (of course, this could be my paranoia when it comes to friends).
This is reason I have issues with friends - in my life I've lost (driven away?) two groups of friends.
I'm shy, though less than I used to be. I was painfully shy in my childhood, and so I didn't have a real friend until I was in the 6th grade. Her name was Heather and we were 'best friends' for the middle school years. We even shared a locker throughout high school.
In high school, I began to discover who I am - the weird, geeky girl I am today. And Heather was more interested in being mainstream, a follower. Plus she could only have one good friend at a time. We had a group of friends, and in my senior year of high school, I began to realize how these people were ditching me, and not really my friends.
They'd talk about trips they were going on, right in front of me, but I was never invited. If I wanted to do anything with them, I'd have to be the one to ask, and plan out the details - that got old really fast. I wasn't invested that emotionally with these people, so I decided one day that I didn't need them, and I'd find good friends in college.
And I did - at least I thought I did. I met Sara freshman year in German class, and we became best friends quickly. We had other friends too, and a group formed that there were about 6 or 7 of us by the time we all graduated from college.
I tried really hard to keep in touch, but as time went on they were less and less interested in keeping in touch with me, to the point that I was doing all the work. Unfortunely, I was very much emotionally invested in these people. I loved them like family, and I would have done anything for any of them.
Unfortunely, they all decided (on their own, or as a group - I'm not sure) they didn't want to be my friend, which ended up them all ditching me on my birthday (Birthdays are big deals for me, especially since my mom died - and they knew this).
This started a very hard time for me, because I ended up getting told that I was a horrible person (via livejournal no less), and it was really hard. I knew they weren't good friends, and that I was better off with out them. But it was like losing my entire family - I really did love them.
So, about 6 months after this happened, we moved to NC, and make 2 friends right away. It was nice, but I couldn't seem to make any more friends.
I'm not as whiney and depressing in real life as I am on online (online = venting), so I don't know what the problem is.
I began to think that whatever drove both sets of friends away must be me... but I don't know why I'm so undesirable as a friend.
Anyway, I've rambled enough - if you read this, and have any ideas why I see to be an anti-friend magnet, please let me know.
Todd asked me to be his girlfriend.
And I'm usually good about remembering stuff like that, but I didn't remember until about 5 minutes ago.
This is proof my brain is turning into mush.
I haven't slept well for a week or so now, so I'm nodding off at my desk (boring spreadsheet assignments doesn't help this at all!).
Plus, since I'm still feeling pretty sad, that makes me feel even sleepy-er.
I am amused by the new BPAL fanfic, though I think the first one is still the best. It was so funny! I hope this new one is fun though.
I hope my Lotus Moon order gets here soon... I could use some smellies to cheer me up.
