Soupy Twist

OOOOF SCREAMING STRAWBERRY KOOL-AID POWDER in the bottle. Goes on as the gorgeous fresh strawberry note from “Eat the Strawberries” from American Gods. This is pretty intense wet, but calms down a bit as it dries — like you cut up a bunch of strawberries and sugar for jam and they’ve been cooking for a little bit. Not getting any honey or honeycomb notes. Once it’s completely dry, it turns back into strawberry Kool-Aid. A cheerful, young perfume. This is not remotely like the perfumy honey of Honeyed Apple on my skin (YMMV, of course).

Freshly ground Turkish coffee beans in the bottle and on application. The caramel starts to come in as it dries, rounding and smoothing it out. Not much throw once it’s dry. This is basically a very nice Turkish coffee single note. If you liked Café Mille et Une Nuits from the OLLA line, you'll love this.

Mostly grains with a little fresh apple juice in the bottle. Goes on as wet cereal with fresh apple juice. Brown sugar and a breath of nutmeg come in as it dries. Fades back to regular apple juice. Finishes as soggy apple oatmeal.

First test: I put it on after washing my hands with Toasted Vanilla Chai soap from B&BW, and I needed to retest because I wasn’t sure which scent was which. It started as a musky toasted coconut, with flickers of sweetness and chocolate as it dried. It eventually dried down to a beautiful perfumy vanilla. Second test: Something toasty in the bottle and on application. Maybe it’s actual gingerbread instead of the “spice jar exploded” experience I always get from the Lab’s gingerbread blends. As it dries, it becomes more of a toasted coconut. Why am I getting all these notes that aren’t in the actual ingredients? This is drying to just the vaguely toasted note. All the sweetness from the prior test is gone. After three hours the perfumy vanilla finally surfaces. This part is very pretty. I just don’t think I want to sit through three hours of musky toasted coconut to get to it, especially when there’s practically no throw.

Menthol and eucalyptus in the bottle, which eventually dries to a pleasant foodie mint. Not really “snow.” The marshmallow comes out when it’s completely dry, as a faint perfumy vanilla.

Peppermint extract in the bottle. Goes on as candy cane. It’s nicely balanced between mint and sweetness; it’s not a sour peppermint like some years. The vanilla doesn’t really come out until it’s dry, but when it does, it’s light and perfumy. Then the mint returns. Settles as a fairly normal candy cane with perfumy, powdered sugar/vanilla overtones in the air. No burn at all. Pretty sure this is a bottle.

Spices and pastry/dough in the bottle. Goes on as spices and rum with a hint of almond extract. Continues as a stale kind of rum scent, like “rum extract,” when that was a thing. More of the date and lemon emerges as it dries completely. Finishes as a vaguely spicy, vaguely citrus date which is surprisingly appealing. A moist spice, not "eating the bottle of cinnamon directly" spice. I would probably eat 20 of these — in fact, being Sicilian, I'm sure I have at past holidays — but I don’t think I’d wear it often.

American black coffee in the bottle. Something slightly sweet and spicy comes in on application and as it’s drying. This is nice! Mostly gone in half an hour, leaving traces of coffee and maybe a sweet vanilla or a cream. I was expecting it to be more bitter given the opening and I'm pleased it's not.

Sour, raw booze in the bottle. Goes on as clove, and sweetens a little with cinnamon as it dries. I really hoped my skin might react differently to pumpkin spice after a few years, but alas, it's still on my no-no-notes list.

Older, slightly oxidized green apple juice in the bottle and on application, which dries to a stale, dusty generic booze. The recipe sounds like a delicious drink, but boy is it not working on my wrist.

The gorgeous white tea of Kumiho in the bottle and on application. Some sticky lemon comes in as it dries, but it doesn’t stay. Just a lovely sibling of Kumiho. I concur on the aromatherapy suggestion.

oh my sainted aunt what the hell happened?! This is burnt French tobacco and gross smokey musk, even in the bottle, so it's not just my skin chemistry. Did someone set the sweater on fire? Did I get the wrong decant?

A red Jolly Rancher. Not "apple," because I know from the Lab's magnificent and varied apple notes, but red. Slightly more perfumy after an hour. Gone shortly after that. No spice. A fun, playful, but short-lived scent.

2020 Version: More honey on the open than 2016's apple, but otherwise the same deliriously gorgeous blend. Perfumy honey, sweet apple, cycling and blending. Lasts for hours. Fun fact: I did not need to get a bottle of this scent this year, because I already have a bottle and a backup bottle of 2016. Ya know what? I BOUGHT IT IMMEDIATELY ANYWAY, BECAUSE IT IS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL. This is one of my top five all-time favorites. If my house was on fire and I could only save a handful of bottles, this would be one of them. If someone wants to swap with me and offers me a 2020 backup bottle, I will take that swap. That's how much I love this perfume oil. 😍

An even-more nauseating knockoff of Nuclear Winter, which I didn't like either. There’s no lemon; just stomach-turning menthol. Off to swaps for someone else to enjoy.

Whenever I’m sick, tired, or just run down, Lilith always tries to help out. She’s always helpful, but when someone is feeling poorly, she’s an absolute angel. This year, now that she’s a little bit older, she’s taken to cooking a bit here and there. Here, she’s stealing my Evil Dead shirt and making kitchari for me. I was feeling under the weather, and she wanted to take care of me. Oh my GOD, I love this kid. (She’s taken to wearing protective goggles that Brian gave her every time she cooks.) A bundle of Ayurvedic spices warmed in cream, with a little bit of dried fig and sweet dates. Cream in the bottle. Goes on with a clean but lightly spicy note — somehow it feels like antiseptic? But in a good way? I don't know what Beth intends "Ayurvedic" to mean; on me this is a bright, comforting, yet take-charge scent. This is the spice blend of the nurse who is going to make you feel better. I don't know how else to describe it. As it dries, it's very clean, like linen or "free and clear detergent." This continues back to the clean spices. It snuggles close to the skin without a lot of throw. I could see this working really well for people in the medical field. I would be bolstered if my medical practioners smelled like this.

Boozy chocolate in the bottle. Goes on as a caramel-tinged whiskey which quickly smells “old,” as in “turned.”

Creamy, cocoa-heavy chocolate. A really lovely chocolate, although no honey. This starts to turn stale as it dries, and when the honey note does come in it’s like a dry honey-flavored candy.

Beeswax and… dammit, lemon floor cleaner in the bottle. Yep, goes on as lemon floor cleaner with beeswax notes, like this is a “natural” floor cleaner. Eventually dries to a slightly perfumy beeswax, but I have other bottles with that note without the Lemon Pledge. No maple, no green, no leaves. 😥

TL;DR: Every single thing about this perfume did the opposite of what I expected. Maraschino cherry juice in the bottle and on the wrist. yum! There’s a slight plastic/Play-Doh note skirting around the edges, and I am getting zero fizz, which is highly unusual for the Lab’s Champagne note. It’s becoming more perfumy as it dries, which is another surprise. I’ve never had cherry turn “perfumy.” It’s a good development, don’t get me wrong, just unexpected. The plastic note has also departed, which is good. It takes a good half-hour before it even starts to fade; normally the Lab’s cherry vanishes from my skin in under five minutes. What’s underneath is pencil shavings (cedar), not Champagne. No almond, unlike everyone above me.

Twenty isn't much, honestly. My database has, uh... close to 1300 entries. You just have to take notes, cross-reference, and keep track. Start a spreadsheet and create a rating system. You should be able to narrow things down after a while.

Honey with something toasty or woody in the bottle. Roasted chestnuts? Anise-touched honey on application. This is… interesting. Definitely licorice. Not much honey, to be honest. Yeah, this is a moderate black licorice candy which wants to have a honey center. But I mean, if you’re going to go black licorice, go hard or go home. This is an off-brand black licorice cough drop. As it dries, it develops a dry-wood note. I should stress this is not a bad scent. It’s a good black licorice. But I like my black licorice at peel-the-paint-off-the-walls strength, and there’s no honey in this blend at all. So perfectly nice, but not for me.

my beloved FIZZZZZZ! in the bottle. goes on as FIZZZZZZ! with some sweetness. Gorgeous. Dries to strawberry Pez. Which, all things considered, is not a bad scent.

this is so incredibly faint on me I had to test it three times over three weeks. All I get is the faintest breath of damp wool. No coffee at all.

something went deeply wrong with this one on me. I tested it three separate times, weeks apart, to be sure it wasn't menopause or hormonal shifts, but no, this is coffee and vomit. I'm very sad. I really, really wanted All The Coffee Things from this line and my skin has just destroyed them all.