I emailed a girlfriend in California whom I haven't seen since Christmas. We've been friends since junior high and she doesn't have the highest self-esteem in the world, even though she's smart, pretty and hilarious. So I worry about her, especially in the guy department. The comedian Bill Hicks wrote a song called "Chicks Dig Jerks" ("Hitler had Eva Braun / Manson had Squeaky Fromme / I don't know how the world works / All I know is chicks dig jerks") and she picks these boyfriends (and a couple of husbands) who seem to treat her like crap and she doesn't see a problem.

Anyway, she's in a doozy situation, in that a few years ago her dad and stepmom won the lottery. They bought a huge house where we grew up, but they're barely there as they spend all their time now at their "ranch" in another state. So my friend is staying by herself in this massive house just a few minutes from her job. Sounds great, right?

I'm thinking initially that would be wonderful -- a big house where everything's fancy and new, everything paid for, close to my job so I could cover my own expenses and save huge amounts of money. But then reality would kick in: she can't redecorate anywhere, and the house is currently neo-Miami Vice. She's basically the 24-hour maid, gardener and unarmed guard for free. Nothing "belongs" to her, she's just house-sitting. Plus I'm afraid of her becoming a target, even though the house is all securitied-up, and I don't want anyone (that she knows or doesn't know) taking advantage of her.

So ultimately I would have to decline living in the big house for free. I wouldn't be independent and that's really important to me at this point. I need our own space, as shabby and homely as it is, but it belongs to us.