which is why I feel okay about posting in here. I'm getting scared of my own disinterest. The only thing I seem to have any enthusiasm for these days is my perfume collection! Yes, all right, BPAL is wonderful and blahdy blah, but I know why it's become such an obsession for me: because right now, there isn't anything else. and that's terrifying. There is nothing else I can muster the energy to care about or do. I can barely even speak to my girlfriend, although her gorgeous self is present in my thoughts. I thought leaving university would make the apathy better. It hasn't. Maybe I'm being impatient? I've been home a week... It's not as though there's some magic wand to wave to make everything fine. But I hate this. I can't care about anything, and I'm just unhappy.