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Notes to myself and anyone else

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what a weekend.....

I deleted my last entry because the negativity was consuming me. I couldn't shake it all weekend and I finally was able to let it go somewhat.   I survived the weekend, but I am learning some lessons lately. What should have been a great weekend turned out to be horrible. I can't go back in time so I'll just try to move on, forgive myself, and forget about it.
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Grrrr

I am an idiot.   My lease is over at the end of this month (October, not November). It's too late for me to move out. And the landlady already told me she won't go month-to-month.   The reason I got confused, is because the last time I moved, I got sick in the middle of the process. I spent 2 or 3 weeks recovering, and had to stop the whole moving process, which means I stayed over a couple weeks at my old apartment. I actually should have paid them another month's rent, but they let it slide.   Anyway, looks like I'm staying put for another year after all.
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Cerberus

This scent is warm, fuzzy, fruity, and musky, all at the same time. The juniper berry doesn't stand out like it normally would in my nose, but it might be adding to the fruity aspect of the scent. I think I can smell almost all of the notes, actually. I've never really decided if I like this, and I've had my decant for quite a while. I think it's just a strange combination of notes. If I was going to enjoy this, it would be as a comfort scent, on a chilly fall day. Maybe something to wear to the zoo! : )
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wishy wishy!

Bold type just means I have a particular interest, or higher priority for that scent. Colored text indicates added after first post. I try to update this pretty often....   possible bottles Baron Samedi Dragon's Blood Fearful Pleasure Great Sword Of War The Mad Hatter Satan and Death With Sin Intervening Three Gorgons   On the Fence, at the Carnaval!! (not sure if I want whole bottles of these or not) Carnaval Diabolique Isaac, the Living Skeleton Priala, the Human Phoenix The Chapel Theodosius, the Legerdemain Wulric, the Wolfman   GC imps that I want Aelopile Baghdad Bathsheba Black Hellebore Brisingamen Bruised Violet Compound The Caterpillar Danube Death Cap Deep In Earth The Dormouse Dragon's Reverie Eclipse Fascinum Frumious Bandersnatch Hamadryad Hanging Gardens Hecate Hymn To Proserpine Imp Inferno Intrigue Jersey Devil Kill-Devil Kubla Khan Kumari Kandam Lampades Libertine Love's Torments Lyonesse Mad Hatter Mandrake Mary Read Medea Mouse's Long and Sad Tale Nero Niflheim No. 93 Engine Nostrum Remedium Othello Penthus The Phantom Wooer Phoenix Steamworks Plunder Port Royal Queen of Sheba Rome Salome Santo Domingo Scales Of Deprivation Schrodinger's Cat Shanghai Shango Strangler Fig Sundew Sybaris To A Woman Tombstone Tushnamatay Unicorn Verdandi Voodoo   'Set Only' imps/unimpables I would like (imps or decants) And There Was A Great Cry In Egypt The Ecstacy of St. Theresa Famine Fox Fires on New Year's Eve at the Garment Nettle Tree at Oji Haloes The House Judith Victorious La Vague Lucretia Madonna Mama-Ji Parsifal Rozpustnica Silence Three Brides   Decant Me (partial decants? half decants? droplets? all are acceptable, I just want to try these) The Bloody Sword Boo Bam Cagliostro The Chapel The Contract Of Theophilus Of Adana The Cracked Bell Damnation Dia De Los Muertos Fire Eater Isaac, the Living Skeleton Ivanushka Knucklebones Long Night Moon Moana Opuhi Pumpkin Patch III (2007) Shill Tiki Queen Tupapau Upa Upa Yule   Single Notes dream list (decants) Ambergris, Black Cherry, Black Musk, Black Poppy, Cherry, Licorice Bark, Light Myrrh, Oakmoss, Red Musk, Red Mysore Sandalwood, Redwood, Siberian Musk, Tonka Bean, White Sandalwood   The following are basically for my own reference....it helps me to keep this all in one place, and the update onslaught is just about killing me! But I do love trying all the new stuff.   Czech and Speake Cuba Frankincense and Myrrh   Possets Aiden Crickets Eve Nigel Rhode Island Vermont   CB I Hate Perfume Wild Hunt
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M. Micallef, Avant Garde

Notes: bergamot, grapefruit, cocoa bean, tobacco, incense, Russian leather, tonka bean, grey amber   I better review this now because this is the 2nd time I've worn it and probably won't try it again.   It's not terrible, just not for me. Basically it reminds me of Miller Vs. California. It has a very similar mix of leather and fruits, and there is even something papery, maybe the grey amber, or something about the incense notes. Sometimes incensey blends smell sort of papery to me (Heavenly Love And Earthly Love). Not a lot of cocoa bean or grapefruit that I can detect, and the bergamot is more of a suggestion of fruit than a specific citrussy note. Anyway, this is actually a nice scent. I think I just don't like leather scents all that much, with a couple of exceptions.
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Pending....

Well I'll be damned......how did I end up with all this stuff pending??   Decants.....   Carlin, Feeding The Dead, Hell-Gate Of Ireland, Lambs-Wool, Trick Or Treat, and Devil's Night   Countess Dolingen Of Gratz, Sarah, and Julia Stone   A Fit Of Artistic Enthusiasm, and Hideous Heart   Trevor Bruttenhelm, and Abe Sapien   (a total of lucky 13!)   Lab order.......   Falling Leaf Moon, Kroenen, and 2 bottles for Moonarcana.   Woo Hoo! This always happens at the beginning of fall.
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Well, allrighty.

Absolutely nothing going on here at work.....very boring.   I want to make another Lab order this week. I really can't afford it, but I want more Chaos Theories before they go away (at least one). But, do I want amber or frankincense? Or another Tilt-A-Whirl? I really don't know. I should just get one of each and be done with it.   I ordered 4 of the Tilt-A-Whirl already......   One is straight-up powdery floral. I guessed poppy and carnation, with possibly a little rose too, like tea rose. This is already living with moonarcana now because it is so much more her kind of thing than mine!   Another one is almost exactly like Cathedral. Seriously, you have to smell them side by side to tell the difference. The Chaos is a little stronger on the woods. It has a cedary note that is almost pungent, but truthfully, it's almost exactly like Cathedral.   One is weird and herbal with sassafras, I think. It's like sassafras without any sweetness. It reminds me of some kind of herbal hair product. It's herbal, but not pretty herbal, or spring-like, or anything like that. If anything, it's almost brackish, but not really aquatic, if that makes any sense at all. Brackish. I'm not even sure what that means but it seems like a good word. Swamp-like?   And finally, one of them is really, really pretty. Glowing reddish orange, florals, slightly fruity, with something warm like resin or maybe amber. It's really great but not quite something that I would wear. I described it as a tropical sunset and that's still pretty much the image I get. Lotus and amber, and more? I'll have to try this one again and really think about whether I want to keep it.
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blecch

I feel yucky and anxious, nervous even. No damn good reason at all. And also feeling burnt out on my routine, both at work and at school. I keep telling myself it's my usual anxiety and it will pass. Soon. I know exercise would help.   On the plus side, I feel a little better about my apartment, and tentatively decided to stay for another year. Yeah, the neighbors and the neighborhood suck, but it's so close to school. And it's a lot of space for a little money. Now I just have to do more fun stuff with it. Furniture, rugs, curtains, etc.....which I have put off for what, eight months now?? :love!: Anyway, the thought of moving again in 2 or 3 months is rather exhausting. : /
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More zoo stuff

I went to the zoo again last week, and had a nice relaxing visit. The weather was really great, a little chilly but sunny and windy.   I enjoy watching the serval in the cat house.....so graceful and.....willowy? I also love the feathertailed gliders in the nocturnal house. They are incredibly cute. It's funny because the nocturnal house is, of course, dark inside. At first when I looked in on the feathertailed gliders, I didn't see anything moving. So after standing still and watching for a couple minutes, I started to notice little darting movements here and there. They are like small mice, with weird tails that look kind of flattened out, which they use for gliding. I didn't see any of them jump or glide, but they were darting around and moving all over. They are so cute!   I watched the Sumatran rhinos eat for a while. I love their eyes. They open their eyes so wide you can see the white parts. The zoo built these really cool sun-shades over the rhino habitat, to protect them from the sun.   The insect house has a whole section that you walk into, and it looks like a greenhouse, and it's full of butterflies. There are a few different kinds of birds, too, including hummingbirds, my favorite. For a while I didn't see any hummingbirds but I was determined so I stayed in there for a few minutes, and finally spotted one. It was great.
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ebay and other stuff

I can't seem to resist making outrageous bids on ebay, for bpal scents that I've been wanting for a while. I guess I shouldn't feel guilty.....some of these things I've really wanted for a long time, and they never seem to come up in swaps around here. Of course, it doesn't matter in the end, when I'm outbid less than 12 hours after I place my starting bid (this was for the Holly King proto)! And the winning bid is more than twice what I was willing to pay. I was kind of surprised at that one, I guess I'm not the only one who wanted it badly!   But now I have another auction that I placed a bid on, and we'll see how high that goes. I'm not going to raise my highest bid, because I've already bid more than I really should spend. So, we'll see. It's actually a scent that I already have half a bottle of, and this would be a back-up bottle (something nearly unheard of in my collection, except for Snake Oil which is for aging).   In other news........I'm in the middle of my long stretch of work, interrupted only by being off Tuesday night, until the weekend. I'm looking forward to Tuesday and really looking forward to the weekend, although it's pretty far off. I bought an annual pass to the Newport Aquarium, because I miss the Zoo's aquarium, which was made into the manitee exhibit. The manatees are pretty cool, but the aquarium was always my favorite part of the Zoo. And the Newport Aquarium is not even that great.....there are some cool parts, though. I only have to go once more to make up for the cost of my annual pass (and I'm pretty sure I'll go more than once more in the next year).   Anyway, yeah.....spending lots of money when I should be concentrating on credit card debt. Oh well, gotta have fun somehow, right??   Oh and speaking of spending money, I made an order with Nature's Gift. I bought their Sacred emotional synergy for a room scent. I wanted something for a sort of peaceful meditation blend, although I already have their Meditation blend....and it's pretty awesome.....but I wanted another spiritual blend, too. I also bought some jojoba oil and something for my occasional dermatitis/eczema.....now I can't even remember which oil, LOL.....oh yeah, calendula oil for skin care. And I asked for some samples of their fir/pine essential oils. Can't wait to see what they send me! They're always really nice about sending free samples when I ask for them.
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Quick reviews

Gacela.....almost works, clove is really iffy on me and it doesn't quite work for me here. It comes off a little dusty or something.   Faunalia.....Eek....this reminds me of Golden Priapus, a lot, which I hated, except this isn't quite as bad as that was. Still, this isn't for me.   Men Loved Darkness......Another miss.....a lot of times clove and patchouli combine and turn really sour on me, which is what happened here, just like in Smiling Spider. They amp each other up until it's all sour clove and patchouli.   Season Of Ghosts.....Very odd for a citrus scent....actually I don't even get much citrus. I recognize the rose geranium from On Darkness, and overall this scent turns weird and soapy on me. Did not like at all!   Joulumuori......Big winner for me! I love this scent, and I had a feeling I should have gone straight for a bottle. Well, I was right. For all the foody notes, this is a wearable scent that isn't as foody as I thought it would be. The wood smoke or hearth note is very, very much like Djinn, my favorite GC scent. But it has the fabulous cheery spices mixed in, and I just love this. Kind of reminds me of the best parts of Djinn and Jolasveinar, with none of the snow or pine notes from Jolasveinar. Just great.   Pink Snowballs......Not a fan.....I understand the comparisons to Snow White, but Pink Snowballs is more perfumey, fluffy, almost powdery, and not cold at all. Very commercial smelling to me. It's not terrible, but not what I was hoping for.   Snowball Fracas.....Familiar snow note, but I do smell the soil from Graveyard Dirt underneath it. After a while more moss comes out. It's a good scent because I like these things, but doesn't stand out enough for me to want more. The soil note can be a little yucky but mixed with the snow notes, it's not bad.   First Soft Snowfall......At first reminds me of Death Of The Grave Digger, a lot. Then as it dries, it becomes more floral, and I find myself thinking of Archangel Winter. Again, not a bad scent, but not quite as good as Death Of The Grave Digger.
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Possets wish list

This is for my future swap post. I'll have some Possets bottles up for grabs, and here are some that I would swap for:   Adamus The Awakening Conscience Cootie Dark Lady Margot Queen Of The Night Risk Sex With The Spirits Tulipomania Warmth
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Lilith And The Jarocho

Posting this because the entire description should be saved somewhere. I haven't tried the scent itself, but I'd like to find a decant. I think I would like it but I just can't justify a whole bottle right now, with my financial situation being what it is.   Lilith And The Jarocho.... In the past eight months since Lilith was born, Ted and I have had many moments of unutterable joy. There is one, in particular, that stands out from the rest as perfect.   Our daughter loves music… everything from the clank of her toy piano, to unending looped choruses of "You Are My Sunshine" (with Moonshine variants) and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" (or Bat) sung by her mother at naptime, to a rousing round of "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" belted out by her father at playtime, to all the hair band videos she watches on Metal Mania.   This kid LOVES music.   On the last Saturday in April, Ted and I took Lilith to Olvera Street, and stopped at the El Paseo Inn for lunch. While we were waiting for our food, the band came to stand behind our table, and Lili was riveted by their music. At the end of the first song, she clapped! Holy hell, that was adorable. The singer saw Lilith clapping and staring, and walked over to us. This sweet, wonderful man serenaded her.   There was a Perfect Moment -- the kindness on the singer’s face as he sang to my baby, Lilith’s eyes as wide as saucers, her hands in prayer position, and the joy radiating from my husband -- this was a moment that brought me to tears.   This scent is a swirl of everything I felt, sensed, smelled, and saw right then, at that perfect point in time: Jasmine, vanilla, Spanish cedar, moss, marigold, purple verbena, candied tamarind, lime rind, a splash of margaritas on a nearby table, a little bit of Dorian, a little bit of Snake Oil, and a bright bouquet of mal de ojo.
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Oops

I bought the HP Lovecraft Retrospective book of art. :love!:   Very expensive, but very stunning book. It's huge.
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more breaking down

Phantom Time Hypothesis....."A traditional Medieval perfume that never existed: balm, benzoin, damask rose, gumdragon, lignum aloes, orange water, ambergris, and vegetal musk". Hmm, sounds interesting, except for the rose! I can probably pass on this one, honestly. I'm kind of intrigued by vegetal musk, though.   Reptoid Dominion....."Malevolent superintelligent para-dimensional shapeshifting reptoid musk". I don't like all musks, but I'd love to try this one! It could be really great.   Skytyping With Chemtrails....."Incapacitating poofiness: spun sugar, white amber, white musk, citron, and lemongrass masking a sinister, almost chemical undernote of elemi, zdravetz, and ravintsara". Well, not so interested in this one....reminds me of a few other scents that I've already tried. I could end up liking it but I'm still trying to track down that bottle of Metal Phoenix. I may try this some day, though.   Staged Moon Landing....."Prop moon rocks: muguet, orris, white sandalwood, galbanum, cistus, and dusty vanilla". I am generally not fond of papery, dusty scents, with a few notable exceptions, so this one isn't really tripping my radar. White sandalwood can be papery on me, it's probably my least favorite kind of sandalwood.   Teatime In Roswell....."Aliens at high tea: Earl Grey, biscuits, Battenberg cake, and strangely-glowing cucumber sandwiches". I'm curious....or is that just the hype getting to me? : ) I would like to try this, though. I'm not totally against the occasional cakey scent.   Traipsing Through The Crop Circles....."Miles and miles of flattened wheat, barley, and maize". Not sure about this one. Just from the description, I can't really imagine what it would smell like. I didn't really fall for Bezoar or Hay Moon, and corn doesn't sound all that appealing, but again, this could be another one that surprises me and ends up smelling great. I just can't tell sometimes.
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That Feeling again

I guess basically it's insecurity that I'm feeling. NYE was fun, but ever since then I've been worrying that I made an ass of myself....said the wrong things.....acted like a dumbass......etc. I hung out with 3 of my friends, 2 of them are a couple I know, both very good looking, good friends, always gracious to me and I know I worry needlessly. They were nothing but nice and let me crash on their couch, invited me to a great dinner, went out of their way to make fun drinks I hadn't tried before (caiphirina? I don't know how to spell it), but I can't seem to just let go of my worries and just have fond memories of the whole night. I envy them because I am single and when I let myself think about it, not really happy about it, so I usually just try to focus on school and work. Anyway.....just feeling totally unworthy and trying to write about it to get it all out. Really nothing new in my world.
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Temporary wish list

Okay, I can't handle being w/out a wishlist, it's driving me crazy. I'm going to start a temporary one and then I will integrate when we get our old ones back.   5ml bottles......   The Great He-Goat Helios Mad Meg   GC Imps.....   Paramatman Old Demons Of The First Class The Old Goblin Rocking-Horse-Fly   Unimpable....   The Curator The Floating Market Hunter Lamia The Marquis de Carabas Night's Bridge The Velvets Witchblade   LE to try.....   Interfector Panther Moon Tombeur The Traveller
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Jan 2010 Lupercalia breakdown

For my own selfish reasons, because I have to sort out which ones I want, for now I'm only including wants or might-wants.   First the Shungas......   Konseishin The Penis God......"Apple blossom, champaca, fir needle, cistus, myrrh, Peru balsam, and Tan Xiang".....I think Tan Xiang is sandalwood, and I don't see much about this scent that I don't like!   Okayaki....."Olive blossom, cardamom pod, amber, morning star lily, bergamot, and a well-aimed snowball".....will be watching reviews.   Penis Admiration....."Lilac, ho wood, smoky vanilla, galbanum, and tonka".....not sure about a couple notes here, lilac and galbanum, but I'll be watching reviews with interest.   Prosperity Of A Country....."Frankincense, orris root, asuhi, leather, and ginger-infused cream accord"......I think asuhi is hiba wood. I'm really interested in this scent. Could be my "take-a-chance" scent.   Ronin......"White sandalwood, rice flower, honey, black pepper, and oakmoss".....sometimes don't like white sandalwood, or black pepper, and usually don't like honey, but I like the art of this one and will watch reviews.   Now Ode To Ares......   Andreiphontes......"Tonka, benzoin, black sandalwood, and nutmeg".....has potential.   Enkhespalos......."Elder wood, leather, blonde tobacco, and cognac"......has potential.   Enyalios......"Patchouli, frankincense, olibanum, thyme, cocoa absolute, Peru balsam, oakmoss, and juniper".......this could be too much dood-fume, or it could be really fantastic.   Khalkokorustes......"Champaca, pear, cedar, black pepper, jasmine, and red sandalwood".....this sounds like some fabulous love-child between Quincey Morris and Dr. John Seward. I need to try this one.   That is about it for now. I'll be reading others' breakdowns and thinking some more but really, those are the most interesting right now.
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Just to keep track...

Here's what I've ordered from the Yule update, so far.   Decants: Großvater Tanz, The Nutcracker, A World Of Fools, The School, Mr. Fezziwig's Ball, The Second Of The Three Spirits, Bob Cratchit's Hearth, Ignorance And Want, The Last Of The Spirits, Whoop   Autumn & Winter, Haloa, Woods In Winter, Herr Drosselmeyer, Rat King, Ebenezer Scrooge, Christmas Eve In The Counting House, Marley's Ghost, Incessant Torture Of Remorse, Chained Phantoms, Christmas Eve On The Moor, Altar To Cold Rigid Dreadful Death   Bottles: The Waltz Of The Snowflakes (along with The Infernal Lover)
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Custom scent

Not that I'll likely ever get a custom scent, but I've been thinking about one in the last few days. It's kind of like a song I can't get out of my head.   It would be like a more masculine version of Snow White. I'm imagining a pure white mixture of rice cream (is there such a thing?) and coconut milk, infused with ginger, with a dash of nutmeg and cardamom on top, possibly a hint of clove. It's in a wooden bowl with a scattering of pine boughs around it. All of this is outside on a blustery, snowy day. Snow, rice cream, coconut, almond, ginger, spices, turbinado sugar, balsam fir. Maybe some woodsmoke, or frankincense, just a hint of something to give it a bit of a rugged edge. Ooh, maybe some cherry too? Just a little bit, not enough to stand out a whole lot. It's possible some kind of floral would be good, but I don't know florals well enough to say which one.   It would be something between Snow White, Jolasveinar, and Cloister Graveyard In The Snow.
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Chene, revisited

You just never know, sometimes I end up loving the ones I didn't like at first. I'm talking about Serge Lutens Chene. I wore it a few more times and pretty quickly fell in love, and now I have a full bottle on the way. Way to splurge! No more big perfume purchases for me for a while! (yeah, right....)
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aged Snake Oil

Today I broke out my first bottle of Snake Oil, since it's officially a year old now. What I noticed most is an increased sweetness. Also it smelled different on one forearm than on the other, like I didn't roll the bottle enough or something. It reminded me a lot of frankincense, which I don't think I've ever noticed about Snake Oil. But basically.....it just smelled really good!
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Yule

Another one I tried at Sally's, and I've been wanting to try this for a long time. I don't like it nearly as much as I thought I would, but again, this was tested along with about a hundred other scents (exaggeration), so that can distort my impressions. But the wood had a different quality than what I was hoping for (more fuzzy or powdery or something), and it smelled somewhat reminiscent of Rat (I think) from last year's Yule scents, which I already have a decant of, so I probably don't need to hunt down any Yule. It's a good thing to know, and I'm glad I got to try it, because I was really going to try to get a bottle unsniffed.
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The continuing saga

I talked to my landlady and she might let me out of my lease even though I'm technically already into my next year. Not only that but I might have to be out by the end of October.....which is faster than I was planning on. I need to get all this resolved soon, because it's making my anxiety worse than ever. I need to know where I'm going to live! She's going to look over the lease and call me back (I guess tomorrow....I thought she would call me back tonight but she never did).
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non-bpal review/Czech and Speake No. 88

Czech and Speake No. 88   "No. 88 is the signature fragrance from Czech & Speake. From its Aromatics Collection, No.88 is a blend of woods, bergamot, geranium, rose otto, cassie flower, frangipani, vetiver, and sandalwood. This gorgeous fragrance is worn by both men and women." (description from The Perfumed Court)   I was attracted to this because I read Morrissey wears it (and Elton John, too). I was so glad to find a source for a sample.   This is fabulous! It's a rose scent, but unmistakably gender-neutral, although some may find it masculine. The closest bpal I can think of is Thanatos, but No. 88 is definitely lighter, fresher, and not as powdery (not that I dislike Thanatos). It's definitely woody, but also floral and slightly fruity. It strikes me as a versatile scent.....I could wear this at work (and I did), or out on the town, or for a formal occasion. I would call it almost a studious rose scent, but dark, hinting at naughtiness.   Now I need to try their Cuba scent, because I definitely want a bottle of one or the other. This stuff is pricey and only available from the UK, so it's going to be a treat to splurge and indulge myself. If Cuba is as good as this, it's going to be tough to decide. I could absolutely wear No. 88 on a regular basis.
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