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perfume-related ramblings that can't go anywhere else because I'd bore the pants off anyone reading

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POTENTIAL Veils and Mists: will update with TAL review once I get ahold of it

You know when you look back on something you've done, or a way you've behaved, and you just want to disappear and hope nobody ever thinks of you again? You know when you read articles about toxic people and you're like... "Wait, I think *I'm* the toxic person. The call has been coming from inside the house this whole time!"   ...perhaps it's just me. Either I have overactive guilt/shame reflexes, or I just do crappy/embarrassing things more often than most people, or maybe both. Who can say! In 20 years I'll probably have enough perspective to tell the difference. But right now, I'm pretty sure I've done the wrong thing. Again.   I'm still working on finding solutions to the behaviours in myself that I want to change. That's an ongoing process, and it feels sometimes like it's just a sequence of falling on my face again - and again - and again - and irritating, aggravating, or hurting any number of people in the process. I do look at myself now and see that I am miles ahead of where I was five years ago, which is good. But in the interim -- sometimes I just want people not to think about me, or talk about me, or feel any type of way about me at all. I don't like being the subject of gossip, and I don't like the idea that my behaviour could get someone else down. In those moments, I just want to draw a veil over myself, separating me from the rest of the world. Giving me a little peace and respite from other people's thoughts and feelings, and giving other people a little respite from the effects and consequences of my behaviour.    That, I think, is a good place for Veils and Mists to come in. I'd never thought about it as a TAL I'd want to have in my life, but increasingly it feels useful or even necessary to me. I'm not sure how I'd judge its effectiveness because that would require proving a negative, and an impossible one at that -- "Prove other people HAVEN'T been privately gossiping about me or feeling bad about things I said or did!" Nevertheless, I'd like to be able to send that energy out into the world, with some serious oomph behind it courtesy of the Lab. I'll try and get my hands on a bottle and update this entry if/as events warrant.
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TAL Reviews: Radiance of Ra + Block Buster for banishing negativity

METHOD: Anointed a small natural-white paraffin pillar candle with Radiance of Ra + Block Buster to banish circling negative thoughts. Worked very well.   I found myself stuck in a rut of negativity, where I was feeling down on myself in general and convinced I'd done something wrong to alienate one person in particular. There was a lot of negative self-talk, which not only felt crappy, but also impeded my ability to get on with my life.   I dressed a candle with Radiance of Ra and Block Buster. I envisioned bright rays of sunshine breaking through the fug of negativity, clearing out those heavy shadows in the mind, and busting through the blocks of insecurity and negative self-talk I'd stacked up in my own path. I thought about eliminating the "lies and deceptions" of low self-esteem, which were telling me that I'm not good enough and soon everyone would find out.   As soon as I lit the candle, I felt better. I stood up straighter, and the circling negative thoughts just -- stopped. I wasn't distracted by self-criticism. I attacked a task I'd been avoiding and felt good about it. I cooked dinner and enjoyed it. I reread the email to the person I thought I'd alienated -- which I had been avoiding -- and concluded it was perfectly harmless and if he didn't like it, that wasn't on me. I realised I'd done the best I could, and I should continue to do the best I could, and that was that. I just felt better right away. It was amazing.   I haven't experienced any vim and vigor yet, and I don't feel particularly energized, but that might be because I'm pretty sleep deprived right now. Will report back if that changes.   Additionally: I'm thinking of starting to make my own hand-poured soy wax candles using TAL oils, 
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15 years later...

I started collecting about 15 years ago, went on hiatus in 2009, and never really picked it back up (apart from the odd purchase direct from the Lab, mostly refills of Snake OIl). Here are the ones I'm keeping. It's heavy on limited editions because that's what always seems pressing to keep -- I always feel like if I want a GC, I can just order it from the Lab, but LEs I have to hoard. (And Snake Oil I have to cellar!)   BOTTLES BPTP exclusive La Fee Verte (2005) -- 1 10mL bottle and 1 5mL decant -- "Sugared wormwood, hyssop and melissa with calamus, angelica and Dittany of Crete, blended with a Bohemian perfume of vanilla musk, honey absolute and Moroccan spices" BPTP exclusive Naughty or Nice: Snow Angel (2005) -- 1 bottle, 90% -- "Cherubic spun sugar with a hint of lemon, sparkling peach, and floral tea" (2008 resurrection) 1 decant, 50% BPTP exclusive Naughty or Nice: Fee (2005) -- 1 bottle, full -- "A buoyant, dulcet blend of vanilla, sunflower, carnation, honeydew, peach blossom, lychee, oakmoss and white tea" Carnaval Noir: Snake Charmer (2005 original release, paper label) -- 2 partial bottles, 30% and 10% (10% has lost its label); 1 decant, 60% -- "Arabian musk and exotic spices slinking through Egyptian amber, enticing vanilla, and a serpentine blend of black plum, labdanum, ambrette, benzoin and black coconut" Snake Charmer (first resurrection, I think 2007?) -- 1 partial bottle, 10% Snake Charmer (second resurrection) -- 1 bottle, full Carnaval Noir: Midway (2005 original release, paper label) -- 1 partial bottle, 75%; 1 decant, 80% -- "A bombardment of edible carnival indulgences. Funnel cake, caramel apple, cotton candy, salt water taffy and sugar tart" Ingenue (2004) -- 1 10mL cobalt bottle, 30% -- "Wild clover and gentle melon interlaced with violet leaf, water lilies, smooth wooden notes, and blushing rose" Lunacy: Bitter Moon (2006) -- 1 bottle, full -- "Nepal poppy, lotus root, wild rose, and blue hibiscus with blackberry, tonka, sage, lavender, peony and vetiver" Lupercalia: Smut (paper label, I think pre-2006 first release) -- 1 partial bottle, 75%; 1 decant, 75% -- "Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes" Monster Bait: Closet (pre-2006) -- 1 bottle, full; 1 decant, 50% -- "Bourbon blackberry buttercream over red velvet cake." Monster Bait: Underpants (pre-2006) -- 1 bottle, 90% -- "Sexy sugar-smeared saffron sandalwood over lickable vanilla cream with a splash of butter rum" Perversion (pre-2006, paper label cobalt bottle) -- 1 partial bottle, 25% -- "Smoky rum and black tobacco with a whisper of steamy leather with a splash of crystalline chardonnay, layered over a sensual, sweet, and deceptively magnetic base of tonka" Single Note: Siberian Musk (2012) -- 1 partial bottle, 60% (pre-2006 original single note series) 1 decant, full Snake Oil -- (2015) 1 partial bottle, 30%, kicking myself for not stocking up! -- "A blend of exotic Indonesian oils sugared with vanilla" OR "deep, rich earthy notes swirled with vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices" (August 2006) 1 decant, 30% I made myself one decant from my first-ever bottle of Snake Oil. Holy &%*#. (pre-2019 direct from Lab) 1 imp, full (2019 reformulation) 4 bottles -- won't even touch these until they are 5 years old (2024). We will see how they stack up to the original. (2022 reformulation) 2 bottles -- can't touch these till 2029 Snow, Glass, Apples (2008) -- 1 bottle, 60% -- no note description Yule: Skadi (2004 original release, paper label cobalt bottle) -- 1 partial bottle, 25% -- "The Snow-Shoe Goddess, Giantess, the Norse embodiment of winter. Frost-rimed winter berries, crisp pine needle, and a slush of bright snowy notes Voodoo Queen (2006) -- 1 partial bottle, 60% -- no note description   IMPS/DECANTS (not listed above) BPTP exclusive ???? - Snowblind (2004) -- 1 partial decant, 30% -- "The perfect vanilla mint" (2008 resurrection) 1 partial decant, 50% interestingly, these decants have aged totally differently. the 2004 edition is still light and delicate, while the 2008 resurrection is much heavier on the vanilla and has become dark and viscous BPTP exclusive Trick or Treat: Treat #1 (2007) -- 1 partial decant, 50% -- "A super-sweet, glittering mountain of crushed hard candy: watermelon, pink lime, lemon, strawberry and piles upon piles of crystalline sugar" Carnaval Noir: Freak Show -- 1 decant and 1 partial decant, 80% -- "fig, pomegranate and cocoa bean with lemon, bergamot, vanilla, mellow honey musk, calamus and tonka" Snow White (2004 original release) -- 1 partial decant, 10% -- "flurries of virgin snow, crisp winter wind and the faintest breath of night-blooming flowers" I should probably buy a full bottle of this from the Lab   TAL AND VOODOO BLENDS, BOTTLES AND DECANTS Arabian Nights -- 1 bottle, full Bat's Blood -- 1 near-empty bottle, drops only -- very old squat cobalt bottle from 2004 Bend Over -- 1 partial bottle 30% Black Cat -- 1 bottle, full Blessings of Isis -- 1 bottle, full Block Buster -- 1 partial bottle, 75% Caliph's Beloved -- 1 bottle, 90% Charisma - 1 bottle and 1 partial bottle, 30%, the latter an old paper label bottle Clean the Air -- 1 bottle, full French Creole -- 1 bottle, 95% Hymn to Pan -- 1 bottle and 1 partial bottle, 20%, the latter an old cobalt bottle Magnet -- 1 bottle and 1 partial bottle, 10% Mantle of Venus -- 1 bottle, 85% Radiance of Ra -- 1 bottle, full White Light -- 1 bottle, full   Aunt Caroline's Money Bag -- 1 partial decant, 60% Aunt Caroline's Money Draw -- 1 decant, 80% Determination -- 1 partial decant, 10% Fiery Wall of Protection -- 1 partial decant, 40% dates from 2008 Horn of Plenty -- 1 imp direct from lab, full Ouroboros -- 1 decant, full dates from 2008 Queen -- 1 partial imp direct from Lab, 60%  
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I feel horrible

Couldn't sleep until 2AM last night, worrying and feeling crappy. Woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:30 because of it. Woke up feeling horrible.   Worst weekend, aside from the weekend my Uncle Jim died, in my memory. I'm just clinging to the hope that somehow this will all be over soon.
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I have a tea set!

I am very pleased with myself. I managed to find a tea set that I like and that didn't toally break the bank. Between Mom (for my birthday present) and I, I have a teapot, two teacups, three mugs (which don't quite match but whatever), a cream and sugar set, and a tea caddy. Yaaay materialism!
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Sleeping Paralysis

Am I the only one that this happens to?   Sometimes when I wake up, I can't move. Or I can move imperfectly. I'll be awake and conscious inside my head, screaming at my body to forget getting up, just move my fingers properly, and they just won't. Sometimes I can't move at all, oftentimes I can kind of flop around -- like I'll be able to shift my arm a little bit, but forget fine motor control, and moving anything major is out of the question. Oftentimes I have some degree of control over my head -- I can turn my neck, but occasionally I have imperfect control over parts of my face, so I either can't open my eyes properly or it's a struggle to close my mouth. It doesn't happen often, but although it's been happening since I was about nine it still creeps me out every time. It lasts anywhere from ten or fifteen seconds to, on one memorable occasion, about a minute and a half. Usually what happens is I have to focus on the part of the body I can move, and make it move as much as I can, which will often increase slightly with time -- and then all of a sudden I'll manage to jerk it particularly far, and my control will come flooding back again all at once.   I wonder what this is?
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Interview with the Vampire

The acting: so bad! So universally awful!   The dialogue: so melodramatic! - but predictably so, I wasn't expecting anything less, and I'm even relishing its blue-cheese-like deliciousness. But honestly guys, stop poncing about speaking in low, mysterious, dramatic voices and start talking like normal people, mmkay? I mean, there's a point.   Verdict on the film: Whoever did the music for that film fails at life on an epic scale. Music should enhance mood, not distract from the film itself. Brad Pitt, as attractive a man as I'm willing to admit he is, should not have long hair -- it is really not a good look for him. Equally, long hair looks truly heinous on Antonio Banderas. I appreciate androgyny much, much more than the next girl, but putting square-jawed Masculine Men in poncy outfits and then trying to make them look vaguely girly just doesn't work.   Brad Pitt's scenes with the interviewer were Not Good. His voice-over narrations were likewise poorly done, and although Tom Cruise really had his moments as crazy egotistical Lestat (typecasting?) he too often descended into the Low Mysterious Voice that forces me to restrain a giggle. Also, all of the men, particularly Armand, seemed to have this problem with their necks wherein they had to look at the world up through their eyebrows. It was most disconcerting.   And yet... and yet. Claudia was the high point of the film for me, and I love the relationship between her and Louis -- in the book she's a lot more scary and abhorrent, which I sort of missed, but as a character she makes me happy and Kirsten Dunst wasn't half-bad. (the Hellsing animated series, which is heavily derivative, offers a version of Claudia who's less bloodthirsty and creeptacular. sanitised, in other words.) And while I certainly wouldn't want to own the film, I can see watching it again -- and enjoying it for all its cheesy deliciousness. Anne Rice, like McDonald's french fries, has a special place in my heart.
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My HAEE order came today!

and it smells good!   I can't use the bath bombs or the tub cake yet because of my navel piercing, which hasn't healed... so if I want to take a bath, I have to get some tegaderm (first thing tomorrow). But the bath stuff is huge! So much larger than Lush stuff and so much less expensive! I'm not a huge fan of Lush anyway, except for Butterball and Candy Bar, but I may have just been converted. While the Lush bath bombs look nicer and are more firmly packed, the HAEE bombs are much larger -- I could probably use half a bomb per bath and get the same amount of fizz. The tub cakes are literally twice the size of the equivalent Lush product, and while I haven't tested their bubblebility yet, it can't be *that* much different. They also smell amaaaazing.   I ordered everything scented with Voodoo Punani It smells like I wanted Underpants to smell -- like coy, pin-up girl smex.   I also found rose-scented toothpaste. Yeah, I know. It was from a japanese company called Breath Palette -- they make toothpastes in 31 flavours. Like Baskin Robbins!
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I love my boots

I am meeting Care for dinner today and I'm excited because I'm getting dressed up. On with my pink foofy dress which makes me look like I am five! On with my gorgeous six-inch-high PVC platform boots! And the best part is, my entire outfit cost me less than $40. Which is pretty awesome considering the boots alone are $85 regular price.   it is almost 2 in the afternoon and I am listening to "Ashes to Ashes" (David Bowie) and contemplating whether or not glitter eyeshadow would be too much, or so much too much it's just right. And I smell like Monster Bait: Closet. I am a happy kitty.     --- I am also trying out a combination of Road Opener and Hymn to Pan -- Road Opener on my palms, with a very small 'opening ritual' and a plea to bring new opportunities and clear my path, and Hymn to Pan on the back of the neck. Hymn to Pan doesn't get pulled out often -- the first time I wore this particular combination, it was /very/ effective, although the last two times I wore it it has been pale... and usually I use Hymn to Pan more for its element of 'rock star debauch' than specifically its sporadic fits of creativity and inspiration. I've never had much luck getting inspired, but I have had fun connecting to the part of me that I'm often too shy and self-conscious to allow out. Pan being as unpredictable as He is, however, I never quite know what I'm in for.   It'll be interesting either way!
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Maybe I'm just using them wrong...

today RO and Hymn to Pan did zilch. Oh well, that's life, you win some you lose some, etc. It just means I'll start decanting from my bottles when I see ISO's for these guys.   I've swapped or sold most of the rare stuff I was wanting to cull from my collection. I feel better now that I have less stuff I don't use, but it's weird having the feeling of /not/ being able to swap for virtually anything I want anymore. I amassed a collection of rares and semi-rares such that when I wanted stuff stood a fairly good chance of finding someone to swap with; now I don't have that, and even though I'm happy to get stuff out of my way, it's a bit odd.   My bottle collection is also too big, but every time I try to cull it further I just can't choose. I love the scents I have so much and there aren't any that I want to get rid of; and I have a lot of new ones coming to me, as well -- 29 new scents, that I've never even sniffed before. I'm optimistic about at least half of them, but my tried-to-kept ratio tells me that I probably won't even consider keeping more than four or five. The rest will get swapped or sold.   I love BPAL fandom, it's so much fun -- and it's a product so worthy of notice as well, which makes me very happy -- but my initial wallet-busting enthusiasm has waned to the more sedate desire of wanting to have merely what I will use and love. I really like the idea of a signature scent, but unfortunately my changeable personality won't permit any such thing -- the closest I have is La Fee Verte, which I actually don't use that often in an effort to never run out. As I've written many times before, I want bottles of Brisingamen, Boomslang, Blue Moon and Tarot: The Hermit -- and then I think I'll make an effort to cut back my collection even further.   --   phooey... I have to go to bed early tonight (as in before 3, like last night/this morning) to be up and presentable for lunch with Richard at Lakes tomorrow. Not that I'm doing much at the moment any way... I'm indulging in the McDonald's French Fries of literature at the moment [Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels -- so bad, and yet so greasily delicious]. I have started rereading Pamela, oh God, and I want to get through the two collections of essays on British colonialism in the 18th and 19th century (respectively). I also want to start losing weight again, since I'm currently dissatisfied with the state of my figure, and I could definately stand to do some sit-ups -- my dancer abs have all but dissolved since I stopped Ballroom.   Still thinking about my SG application. While it would be awesome to do some sets, I'm not sure I'm quite the sort of girl they're looking for. Perhaps because I'm shy, somewhat retiring, not given to excess or presenting myself in a manner that causes people to make assumptions about me -- I just happen to be a budding nudist who's vain enough and mischievious enough to want to get her picture taken naked. I think, given a couple of shots of tequila to blank out my worry function, doing a set would be a lot of fun, and it'd put me in the same (broad, broad, broad) ballpark as some ladies I admire (and think are ridiculously attractive and I'd do them in a second). But the fact is that I still have self-confidence issues, lingering but inconsistent body-image issues, and a somewhat raised-eyebrow approach to my unfortunately high sex drive. We'll think on this.
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Neon Genesis Evangelion

I watched Death and Rebirth and The End of Evangelion today, because apparently I like pain. I keep coming back to Eva at different points in my life, watching it again and hoping to find some kind of answer -- because of how it resonates with me, and always has. I haven't found the answer yet. Or maybe it's there but too uncomfortable for me to think about. Either way, it's an exercise in frustration -- both because the series resonates so closely even now, and because it doesn't pretend to solve its characters' problems, and by extension my own.   Whether or not it's because I saw the series years ago and it made such an impact that the ideas were buried in my brain, many of the things Shinji thought and said are things that I did as well. Do, sometimes. Sometimes I think that giving up individuality isn't too high a price to pay for an end of loneliness and fear. Sometimes I just want it all to stop -- the constant insecurity and needing. There is no way out of that.     You can think yourself out of anything, if you try hard enough. The reason that despite some experimentation with drugs I seem incapable of getting high, is because I think myself down from it -- even though I've felt the physical effects of every drug I've tried, I've never experienced the concurrent effects on the mind, and people around me notice no change in my attitude or behaviour (except for wobbly walking). This is something that distresses me, because I could seriously use some chemically-enforced release, but also that I'm perversely proud of: see my iron self-control, look what I can do! My iron self-control has gotten me through a lot. It is also part of the reason that I am unhappy. I'm a creature of extremes: to find some resolution I'll need to either disregard that control entirely, or embrace it completely. The latter option, as isolating as it is, looks so tempting. Because I /know/ how to do that. I don't know how to be normal or let go.   These aren't new thoughts -- they're realisations i've come to before. That makes me wary of them, because it's like a groove I have worn in my brain, but it also makes them easier to believe. To sink into I-don't-know-how-so-I'll-give-up is to really take myself one step further towards turning into Shinji.
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$$$

Cash: $15 Cdn CIBC Debit: $25-35 Cdn (?)   Citizens' Debit: $90 USD PayPal: $47.75 USD   OWING -$40.75 USD -- Ebay seller -$10.55 USD -- decants -$22 USD -- Fee -$17 USD -- Hunter Moon etc. =Citizens' Debit: ~$50   -$40 Cdn -- April rave tickets (Daniel) CIBC Debit: $0-$10   I can do this. Not easily, but I can do this   ____ MAY Citizens' Debit: $50 USD   CIBC Debit: $80 Cdn   Rave Tickets -$5 Cdn -- Cheap and Fun -$20 Cdn -- We're Old Skool -$20 (?) Cdn -- Funky Fresh -$20 (?) Cdn -- The Massacre =CIBC Debit: $15 Cdn     ...and I'll still need to sell off some stuff in time for June/July :S
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Just checked my reads count...

Entries: 33 Reads: 282       those can't /all/ be me and h_f. I guess it never seriously occurred to me that anyone would ever flip through this.   ah well. I'll continue as I used to, treating it as a dumping-pit for my vapidity.
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Today I am Wearing: Pink Moon 05

I have a bottle containing about an imp of Pink Moon 05, and it doesn't get pulled out that often, largely because I don't /have/ a lot. But today I decided it was a Pink Moon day, and since Pink Moon 2007 is stuck in my mailbox in Boston, this was it. ((inhales wrist)) mm! I'm so glad I have this space to just ramble on about how much I love the scent of things, because honestly, Pink Moon 05 is beautiful -- a sweet, light, springy floral with a delicately candyish tone that just makes me smile. Nessa might like this one.   If I can find another 5mL of Pink Moon 05, I'll make up an imp of it for Nessa, along with an imp of my aged Snake Oil () and something else from my collection that she might like. Mayhap I'll send her some Shub, although I think that's more of a me scent than anything. Yaay enabling!     I am eating physalis and enjoying them immensely. The tiny tangy orange fruit taste weird, almost tomatoey except I detest tomatoes, and on occasion I quite like them. It's like eating a concentrated summer day, complete with everything I love and everything I dislike.
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Okay, that was weird.

I had a very strange reaction to something. Whether it was the fact that the stupid pharmacy gave me generic medication even when I wasn't prescribed generics (for those of us who are hypersensitive, yes, it doesmatter!) or something strange that my brain has been sitting on for a while -- yesterday I was terrified. Just generally. Terrified of getting raped walking from the cab to the side door in the dark, terrified that someone would break into the house while I was there all alone, and (curse my active imagination) terrified of SOMETHING being in the dark waiting to get me. I am not a superstitious person, but my imagination managed to conjure up more ghouls lurking in corners or squatting under my bed or peering beneath my door that when I woke up at 4AM and had to pee, I couldn't get back to sleep.   It's hilarious now, but then, it was just -- scarily unlike me. Especially because the rational part of my brain was in overdrive the whole time telling stupid-me to stop being so ridiculous.   Thank God for my kitty. she slept beside me all night -- n ot just on my bed, but pressed up against my leg, a warm comforting presence. after forty minutes of the-house-is-scarily-silent mute unreasonable terror, I finally got back to sleep.   I woke up twice last night. I remember dreaming but don't remember what I dreamed.
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Another (bad) dream...

although this one was more strange than bad.   This one was a bit hard to wake up from. I thought it was real for at least ten seconds after awakening, which is unlike me. I was me, and I still had a single mother -- but she wasn't like my mother at all. She was more like Isaac Meister's mother if Isaac's Mom was kind of vampy. My mother was five-foot-nine-and-a-half, had gorgeous feathery long brown hair, wore lipstick every day, always looked put-together, and hit on my boyfriend. SHe still had the same control issues though. In my dream, I was still dating Amy, and she still lived in MIchigan; but I was kind of seeing this fellow Dave (who doesn't seem to have a real-life analogue) who liked me but was also obviously attracted to my mother, who encouraged his attentions. I was worried that Dave was going to get the wrong idea, that he'd think we could date and have a relationship and all those things when according to Amy-rules, all I'm allowed to do is kiss him when she's not in the province (groping or clothing-removal counting as cheating -- these are the actual rules, by the way. so far I haven't exercised the privilege). In my dream, Dave and I had dinner plans for tonight, but because of Amy-stuff I was thinking about cancelling so Dave didn't get the wrong idea... and I coudl tell that my Mother was thinking of replacing me at hte dinner table...   it was /very/ strange. :/
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Another cheer for Aged Snake Oil

**inhales wrists deeply** aaaaaah.   My gorgeous bottle is now about 10 months old. It smells duh-vine. I cannot wait until it is 3 years old... daaamn.   I'm done now   ---   My perennial worry that my collection is too large has reached its zenith, I think. After the July moon, which is going to be preceded by big purchases for me -- the July Moon, the Cancer astrological blend, Blue Moon (two bottles), Brisingamen, and Tarot: The Hermit -- I'm going to start seriously culling, and swapping for the things I want. The rares I want to collect right nwo are:   Ingenue Unseelie Storyville   and that's about it. Almost anything for those three, but once I'm satisfied that I have enough of those, collecting is going to take a back seat.     Here lies another possible-keepsies list: La Fee Verte Havisham Snake Oil Shub Snow Bunny Ingenue (duh) Dark Delicacies MB: Closet Hope Snow Angel Bruja Vieux Carre June Gloom (if I can collect enough... if not, she gets jettisoned) Unseelie (duh) Storyville (if I can collect enough)
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Monies

decants of the Ladies and a half of 13 (shipped to Canada) -- $10.55 decant of Fee -- $22 shipping for H&EE -- $11.45 ___ $44.00   And I have $97 --> $52 remaining for the rest of the month. To be used to buy rave tickets only!
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Unjustifiably mad

mmkay. So I enabled a friend a while ago, and since then we've had a pretty loose arrangement regarding swapping BPAL. For a while I bought her BPAL and she paid me back in rave tickets, which worked out for everyone. I've also given her some things: most notably, I passed along first an imp and then my 2/3 full bottle of Voodoo Queen, because much as I liked it it smelled better on her than it did on me. If I see something I know she wants, I'll swap from my pile of stuff to get it for her. And that's why I'm a little bit frustrated, and I know it's not justified.   There's a scent I /love/ -- Ingenue. Damn hard to find. A while ago she saw an imp of it for sale, and bought it for me -- and then she fell in love with it. :/ You can see where this is going, I think. I'm a little cheesed off, because in the past I've given her things I knew she'd enjoy, even though they were rare and swappable, and I could've used them to collect things I wanted. It's not fair to give a gift with the expectation of getting something in return; that's not really giving, and it's not fair to either party. At the time I didn't think that was what I was doing, but I find myself a bit upset that I gave up things for her, and she's not willing to do the same for me - even for one decant. It's not going to drive a wedge through our friendship or any such thing, but I'm materialistic enough that it annoys me.   The biggest problem (insofar as there is actually a problem, which is debatable) is that there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't pay for it, she purchased it as a gift (and informed me it was such) before she decided to keep it; and I can't be angry at her for not reciprocating a feeling I had, or a way of doing things that I decided to follow. It just makes me upset, and I don't think I'll be looking out for her wants in the future. :/
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Moon, bright and hard tonight

Tonight I was walking home from driving lesson and looked up at the sky... it was a perfect velvety sky, soft like the fuzz on a peach, completely starless and blue. Shining -- not glowing, as it often does -- was the bright white fingernail sliver of the moon, and beside it I'm not sure what, a planet or satellite or unusually bright star, one single pinpoint of light in the sky.
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I love Snake Oil

Dotted my wrists with my nine-month-old Snake Oil this morning, and it's glorious. I can't believe I wasn't a huge fan in the beginning... it goes a little play-doh on me after a few hours and I have to reapply, but after it ages it's the most gorgeous sophisticated warm spice scent. On my skin the amber is prominent, and I love amber... so glad I have a bottle.   Also, next time I order from the lab I need to buy a bottle of Vixen to put away. I sniffed an imp of Vixen that someone had aged for over a year, and it was heavenly.   Things I'd like to try: Boomslang -- I'm not sure I'd want a whole bottle of this one, but I'd like to try it. Also, I'm pretty sure Sophia would like it. For her birthday, she's getting a bottle of Boomslang and a bottle of Velvet (she likes cocoa-y scents). Hope -- I want a bottle of this beauty. Faith, unfortunately, goes instant play-doh on me, and I don't think it's salvageable. Scent locket? I have a brimstone locket coming...   Other than that, I'm prettymuch out of wants! I have almost a full bottle of Ice Queen, ditto Havisham, I have an imp of Voodoo Queen which is all I'll ever need (it's too heavy for my complexion... but it's oh-so-beautiful), I've got a bottle of Snow Angel and much as I love it I'll never need more, I've got more MB: Closet than I'll ever use (but it's soooo goood), I've got a bottle of Snake Charmer and seriously, I could decant from it, I like aged Snake Oil better anyway; I wouldn't mind trying Storyville, Formula 54 and Blue Moon but I'm not rabid for any of them, and I have an imp of Intergalactic coming and if I need another one I've got stuff to swap. The only thing I really want more of is Ingenue. I'd like to build up a collection of 7-9 imps, ideally, which would be enough for me to be comfortably sure that I wouldn't run out. I have stuff I can swap for this, too -- I can decant from my bottle of Passion if I have to, or dangle my Trick 2 out there as an enticement. I have two single notes coming that can be swapped away without breaking my heart, although I want to keep my Blood Orange SN no matter how it smells on me (I love the scent of blood oranges). I have bottles of Pink Moon 2007 and Ostara coming; I'm very much looking forward to Ostara, very much. In some ways, my lack of wants right now is good; through careful swapping, I've tried most of the rares out there that interested me at all, and I've kept the ones I wanted and let the others go, but now I get to look to scents that have just come out and decide right away, based on what's in them, whether I want them -- there's no reputation or legend attached to the new stuff yet. That's kind of exciting.   I'm also looking forward to Blue Moon 2007, and the Cancer astrological blend, although if it's chamomile and lavender I'll load the bottle into a gun and shoot myself. I'll be purchasing any/all blends available for July because it's my birth month, and probably two bottles of 07 Blue Moon (just because I'm pretty sure it's going to be up my alley -- cool and soft and somewhat crisp and airy, gently sweet). So glad I got $1100 back from my taxes -- probably around $250 of that will go to BPAL...     Another $250 will go to paying for my rave habit [$500] leaving about $600 to sustain the rest of my expensive lifestyle for three months. That's $200 a month, or $50 a week. I should be okay, although I'll have to stop buying so many books. :/
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Ammo Boxes (and gloating)

I just nabbed 4 50-slot ammo boxes off a hunting store online. The total with shipping to Canada was $13.74, which I feel is acceptable (even though the cost for the boxes themselves was $3.49 0.o) -- that's about $4.50 per box, which isn't insane, although it's a bit more than I'd like. Perhaps I'll swap two of them away for some imps -- I only have 50-some-odd imp/decants anyway, and some of those are going in bottles.   Havisham (1 imp) and Ice Queen (4 imps) are going into the bottles I've found for them -- that's 5 of my 57 decants taken care of. I'll likely swap away some of my GC's, and I already know I hate Tarot: The Star (unfortunately). There'll be a whole row of 5 slots for my precious Ingenue, likewise for my Dark Delicacies decants. I can probably just save time and keep my swapping imps in one box. Or maybe I'll use one box for my intent blends -- like my voodoo blends and TALs...   I'm so excited! I love getting new stuff, especially new ways to arrange my scents. Now I just need an adequate box for my bottles... as in, one that can fit 10mL's as well :/ I have four (and they're alllll La Fee Verte.)   Now I'm feeling that lovely gloating that goes along with possessing things one loves.
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Oh, and... (H&EE)

Voodoo Punani amps the saffron on me. It's nice; I like it. It ends up smelling surprisingly sophisiticated, like I wanted Monster Bait: Underpants to smell. Underpants was just too vanilla, though. :/
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