Pardon us for neglecting the Trading Post -- it’s been a bit warm outside, and every extra ounce of energy’s gone toward fanning our nether-regions with sheaves of voter-registration cards.
Will any of these make it up to you?
(Remember, Black Phoenix’s Hair Gloss is paraben and sulfate free, and contains no petro-chemicals, no GMOs, and no triclosan!)
Don’t neglect your other body parts -- there’s also a fresh array of bar soaps to lather up with:
“Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood.”
“Named in honor of the most notorious female pirate to ever set sail. Wicked, cruel, beautiful, intelligent, resourceful and dangerous: a true role model. A blend of Indonesian red patchouli, red sandalwood, and frankincense.“
“A wonderful antidote to an all-nighter oozing with drunken, addled perversion and debauchery. A fresh, crisp white linen scent: perfectly clean, perfectly breezy.”
***Note there are two versions available of each, one with silk peptides added, and one without (making the latter option vegan). For now, only the silk version of Mouse’s Long and Sad Tale is available.
We’re not done treating your malaise just yet! We’ve also got this glossy black mug, which helps you safely administer most liquids directly from hand to face. Perfect for coffee, tea or one of Doc Constantine’s own questionably effective plague remedies!
Stay cool out there, friends! Never forget: smelling good is always the best revenge.