starbrow

Smells exactly like McDonald's Tangy BBQ sauce to me! Fascinating. Hard no as a perfume, but if you've ever wanted to smell like that, here's your ticket.

I am so confused by this. All I can smell is...flowers. Like an assortment of spring flowers. Peony, tulip, etc. Some of the nice cozy wood from Old-Fashioned Satanists, there's that cashmere. But omg, this is so bizarre? Where's the white tea? She's not a shy note! She is really hiding in the flower patch. The honey must be what's reading so floral to me, because instead of smelling like actual honey, this smells like the pollen of the flowers the bees have been collecting their honey from. It's quite pretty. But those picking up An Assortment based on the notes would not be expecting florals, and they are HERE. Where's the cocoa? Another non-shy note that has little to no presence in the blend. I can't pick up a whiff of tonka bean or anything like cocoa. The only listed note that is truly making an appearance is the cashmere wood, and in the context of spring flowers, it's leaning rather soapy. I will smell this again in a few weeks, and see if aging brings less confusion.

I like this a lot, as much as I had hoped but more than I expected to! The white tea and white tobacco are high in the blend, herbal leafy indulgences that are both sharp and comforting. I am loving the crispness of the clary sage that contributes that same duality; it is a zingy herb, but it helps the senses chill and zone out. The apricot cream is there too, especially in the first few wet minutes, but it's a lightly fruity glaze, not a heavy cream, and the apricot doesn't hang around very long. Coconut of most kinds does not play well with my skin, and that was the note I was most nervous about here. I can barely smell it! There's a cool silky undertone to Holding Hands that, if I think hard enough about it, is a little tropical, but it so does not punch me in the nose with coconut! I wouldn't let coconut milk hold you back from trying this one. Overall, this is a really joyful, slightly fruity, quite exuberant tea-and-tobacco-and-clary sage scent. Great for those who want to enjoy some of the more complex notes from fall and winter while also embracing the lightness and freshness of springtime. I would like more than a decant of this!

I had to pull out my Bourbon-Soaked Apples HG to compare - this is that EXACT note, plus other stuff! If you missed out on that hair gloss, or just want the perfect scent to go along with it, here you go! It's a bit like boozy apple butter to me, with some nice oakyness to give a woody quality to the bourbon apple core of the scent. Prairie Witch is unabashedly apple, more so than Samhain or most of the other Weenies with apple notes, and just a bit of realistic pumpkin, a warm earthy-sweet gourd mashed up and seasoned with spices. I like that these spices don't just smell like pumpkin spice; they really do have the kind of biting darkness you would expect from a combo like anise/clove/black pepper. It makes this a different kind of autumnal blend and rather unique amidst the many options. I get a hint of the resinous not-vanilla of tonka, and more than a hint of the smoked vetiver right out of the gate. It's the same vetiver as Gingerbread Vetiver Black Tea (2021 Yule) but without the strong tannins of the tea to make it go SUPER ashtray. This is mild ashtray, and I think it will age into something even more pleasant. I hope. But just know that there is a hint of ashy grit here, especially early on. I don't get a ton of wild grasses, in case you're worried this will be a green scent, or in case you're hoping for a strong hay/grass element, fresh Prairie Witch ain't it. This is a great Autumn in a Bottle kind of option. If you like bourbon-soaked apples, this is definitely one that you need.

I must be the voice of honesty here: this lavender does not love me for the first hour. It is sharp, unpleasant, astringent, and even turns in a sour way about 30 minutes in. This is everything I DON'T want from lavender. But beneath it is a pillowy vanilla that, yes, you have smelled in the Vanilla Nutmeg Hay trio, and probably others from this late 2021-2022 era of BPAL! That drydown stage is gorgeous. It's the feeling of marshmallows melting on your tongue. It's the smell of Easter. It's sleeping in on a weekend morning and stretching out in the sheets luxuriously. You want to be this vanilla. The hint of skin musk is there, and the twang of the florals is probably amping up the lavender the way backup dancers amp up their star. They aren't big players but if you are already suspicious of Lady Lavender, her supporting wisteria and ylang ylang aren't likely to change your mine. On Wednesday starts out as a big essential oil straight from the dropper mess, and dries down to something poofalicious. I think it's a no brainer for lavender fans, and a potential need for sweet vanilla fans. I am probably acquiring a bottle!

Fantastic. I'll lead with the fact that I do not enjoy Revenant Rhythm/Banshee Beat, as there is something too heavy and thick about its combo that turns me away rather than draws me in. Still, I wanted to give this one a try, between its fantastic cause and its incredible list of notes. I can confidently say that You May House is in a league of its own. What strikes me every time I wear this one is - okay yes laugh - Renaissance Festival. The patchouli is a beautiful sweet woody vanilla incense that wafts over from the various shops, with I'm sure plenty of natural skin musk all around, and amber sunlight in the Florida spring. If this vibe sounds good to you at all, you probably need this blend. I can't get over the woody incense. It's just gorgeous. It's not quite like any other patchouli I've smelled from the Lab. Neither rooty nor thick, it has a wonderfully dry, wooden quality that gives it a touch of elegance along with the essential earthiness of its back-to-medieval-times vibes. Smelling this blindly, I would have guessed golden amber + a beautiful dry cedar. Vanilla sits comfortably in that mix. To that extent, I can recommend this to fans and/or seekers of the Smoked Vanilla and Cedarwood duet from days of yore. But I would also just in general recommend this to fans of BPAL, because this is just our wheelhouse, y'all. One of the best of 2022 so far!

If you love the Lab's hay note, this is a slam dunk. A warm and cozy vanilla cuddles with the familiar sunny-grassy sweetness of hay, sprinkled with Hildegard's Cakes of Joy's nutmeg, an earthy and fragrant spice that lays low and deep. This lives in the same place as Hay Moon 2020 and the Hay & Clove duet, as well as Rendezvous with the Courtesan and Harvest of the Empress. If you have smelled those, you know that the hay note leans in a slightly more creamy perfumey direction, with a twist of lemony grass and sun-dried straw. It takes the vanilla and nutmeg out of a foodie realm, especially compared to other recent vanillas and marshmallows. I can't wait to compare this one to the Vanilla Marshmallow Benzoin trio. This does occupy a different place than any of the other hays for me, because of the uniqueness of the lovely nutmeg and the prominent floofy vanilla amidst the familiar hay. I know I am keeping my bottle forever and ever (as long as it stays the same or better as it is now!), but seeing as I haven't used up an entire bottle (or even a quarter of) any of those others, I think this trio is pretty safe as a single bottle. Gorgeous gorgeous. Highly recommend to the hay and/or vanilla lovers!

This is one sexpot of a scent. I am getting big Midwarkust vibes from The Red Ribbon! The red musk is raunchy yet cute, bright and sweet in a flavored candy lip gloss way, and just as naughty in mood. Like, *bite me!* A black cherry vanilla flavored gloss. The sweetness of it is a HUGE mood. I think the creaminess of the goat's milk is amplifying that effect, like when you heavily sugar your coffee and it makes the cream taste extra creamy. Fortunately, this was clearly a goat who was not around a boy goat, because her milk does not smell goaty. It's the thick but not too lactic kind of richness of an amazing recipe that uses goat's cheese. It doesn't go heavy or sickeningly rich on the skin. Somehow it stays quite light and wearable, even on my sweet-amping skin. I do enjoy when the manic sweetness starts to burn off and the deeper notes emerge. The amber velvet is almost like - red velvet cake without the cake, with a more spicy vanilla. Speaking of spices - maybe cinnamon? A bit of heat? There's a nice patchouli at The Red Ribbon's core, kind of like The Elephant is Slow to Mate's patchouli sweetness and sophisticated woods. I wouldn't have guessed parchment from a blind smell or anything, but I think that's part of the sophistication I get on the back end, a crackle of something a bit papery/wood pulpy. It's a nice contrast to the blast of young sweet candy temptation at the beginning. This reminds me a bit of a red musky take on Atsui-Mono or Humorous Copulation, two of my favorite 2019 Shungas. I will happily keep my bottle and see where it ends up by next year!

Black Satin Sheet Ghost calls to me to so hard, but it turns into an actual whorehouse on my skin. Like just cheap, loud, gaudy florals screaming for days. I will gladly keep my decant and see what it turns into over time, because there are notes in here that are so intriguing - the clary sage, the lacquered patchouli, the opium tar - but omg this is so over the top. Will aging mellow it out? Will I regret not buying a bottle? Time will tell!

This is WILD. So I get...coconut cream tropical lotion!! I am both intrigued and repulsed! Top note comes in like gangbusters with that ashy tea from Gingerbread Vetiver and Black Tea. It's not as STRONG of an ashtray effect as it was from that Yule, and it definitely works better in this context. But it's good to know that the current tea note has lots of tannins in it, which give an astringent, puckery, "ashy" vibe to a blend. Once those die down, the true mood of this trio emerges. A coconut cream tropical extravaganza of suntan lotion. Seriously, if this cream isn't coconut cream, slap my ass and call me Florida. The tropical seems to be coming from a crossover of the lemony brown sugar with the bergamot of the tea, which all combine to read as...tropical fruits. I racked my brains trying to figure out why this reminded me of days at the water park, but that is exactly why. Sweet, lotiony, coconutty, sun-warmed skin, no ocean whatsoever, a little buzz like chlorine. I kind of love that nostalgia. So...I might get a decant or more of this one!

What a name. In the bottle, I almost wondered if this was a cacao blend. That's how rich, sweet and chewy the tobacco is. When combined with the cream and the zing of the ginger, it goes into a bitter dark chocolate/Mexican chocolate territory for my nose. Fascinating. Well, let's skin-test. This is surely a French tobacco, with how caramelized it plays on my skin. The maple syrup effect is at work. The cream is more of a perfumey (amber) cream than a dairy one. I think the ginger and pink pepper are sort of melding in my nose as zippy spice, but I don't love how that combines with perfumed cream and caramel tobacco. I was hoping it would be more sweet Thai tea like Vivid Enjoyment of the Moment of Rupture, but it's a completely different vibe, alas. Big floppy flop for me. The Judge of Hell is for the French tobacco lovers! Get thee some judgement of your sexual exploits!

Salty woods, hi hinoki. Right off the bat, saltwater-logged and a mushroom backed by a strong oakmoss. This wants to veer cologne, until the other notes pull it into a place that works surprisingly well on my skin, when the resins of oud and mahogany and tobacco, deep and smooth, start to have a chance to shine. I enjoy how those play with the sprinkle of mushroom for a while. This is one of the "cleaner" mushrooms and ouds around, so if you're worried about dirt/funk/poop, don't be!! I expected the red pepper to be spikier, but it's actually pretty chill. All the other notes play out pretty much as you'd expect them to, as a deeply layered roll through the forest floor. A very unfortunate nose-burny late stage, so I definitely won't be picking up any more of this, with how nose-stabby it is at the beginning and end. But I can see this one working really well for others who enjoy hinoki and oakmoss more than I do.

If you like green cardamom, this will be a win. If it turns your stomach like it turns mine - that is all you will smell. This is sad, because I like the iron note and it's the same one I smell from Warrior Couple. But there is something about the greenness of that darn cardamom spice that is so pungent and stabby to me, that it makes this a huge no. This DOES smell quite bronzey, and like, not a polished bronze, more like a coppery bronze. I kind of get that old pennies smell from it. If you like that, here's a scent for you! Bronze Dildo is unfortunately a pass for me, thanks green cardamom. I get a similar effect from Scientific Occult and Inexplicable, which makes me wonder if card snuck into there too. I'd like to comment on the other notes, but I can't even smell them /o\

Wow. A total morpher. On first hitting the skin, this one was...aromatic. (Not necessarily in a good way ) It went to savory umami place that, along with the honey, was a little unfortunate. It reminds me too strongly of cooking dinner, with the thickness of honey bringing in a lot of contrast of fungus v. sweetness. A dirty mushroom combined with honey, yikes! Even though the honey is a pretty toned-down version, it's still thick and sweet, which makes the *earthiness* of the mushroom stand out even more. The wet stage was a big fat no for me. But once it dries, the incense that wafts up is so pretty and classic that I keep going in for more sniffs. It seems to have almost nothing to do with the wet stage! The odor of mushroom dirt burns off, as does the honey, and leaves a dry woody incense that might be frankincense/sandalwood, given how characteristically incensey it smells. Gorgeous. It stays close to the skin, mellow and a little smoky/spicy. I didn't think I needed a bottle (or any!) when I first applied, but after living it for a couple of hours, I definitely do. This was a surprising win!

I'm in love from the first sniff! This is one of those classic sweet red musk blends that manages to smell both a little purple (red tobacco? cacao?) and a little silvery (frank and musky ambergris). It reads just as extravagant and layered as you would expect from that list of notes, but it is somehow not overwhelming; the blend is very skillful, and I'm sure it will age like a dream. The red musk and its sultry spice sings forward, sweetened considerably by the vanilla and honey, but the honey also behaves itself and doesn't scream or go floral. Fresh, the resins are on the lighter side, and should deepen over time. The leather's not quite a slap in the face, more like a cheeky touch, and I like it that way. This is a much more mild orgy of red musk/leather/honey than Bright Red Dildo, for those who have tried that one and found it A LOT to handle. (me!) At the moment, patchouli and frankencense are background notes, smooth and silky, with the dry patch and unsweet cacoa darkening the blend but perhaps not as much as you might expect! The red tobacco is gorgeous, by the way. It is softer and less brazen than the French Tobacco, dry, but also spicier. If you enjoy a dry heat to your tobacco, this one is a great one. I think fans of The Elephant is Slow to Mate from Lupers 2020 should give Sweet Hyspithillia a whirl. It's gorgeous and rightly so. Everything good you think it would be from the notes, it is and more. One bottle for me, possibly backup worthy!

If you've peeped the notes and they pique your interest, this is a scent to absolutely try. Another Shunga morpher, this Warrior Couple. Oh, there's that lacquer note again! I recognize it from Martial Arts (another 2021 Shunga). This time, it's wrapped around a cold iron note that's very distinctive. Some saltiness here as well, but it's more tamed in this blend and leans in a mineralic, metallic direction rather than woods or aquatics. I don't get a ton of leather, perhaps a glint of sleek black leather; I wouldn't say it's the worn in cozy brown leather beloved in some blends. It stays cold iron, like Elle Est Heureuse, for a good couple of hours, and then the silk starts to slip through. It is a cool, slinky note that does indeed remind me of Black Silk. Such a distinctive BPAL accord and it's used beautifully here. The final note, buried deep into the dry down, is the honeyed skin musk, which lies so close to the skin as to be almost invisible. The honey is certain not an issue here, it is so gentle and subtle. Like the Very Gods but far less throw and impact, just a kiss of nakedness. Feedback on this scent upon sniffing was that it was above average, 6/10. I would rank it quite a bit higher, about 7.5/10 currently, and could possibly go higher depending how it settles with aging. Enjoying my bottle so far.

In the bottle, Martial Arts is very reminiscent of Two Westerners and that kind of blend. I smell salty aquatic woods (like hinoki wood) and an oakmossy cologne. Scary in the bottle. EEK. Once it's dried down, the cologney quality starts to fade and the beauty of the notes shine through. It smells kind of like mushroom incense to me! I don't get any vanilla at present, and just a hint of smokier tonka. I can smell the sophistication of bamboo beneath a more chemical smell of lacquer, but where varnish can sometimes be a turnoff, here it's more interesting than unpleasant. Not much almond blossom to speak of - I'm sensitive to almond - but the redness of the amber is definitely present. It reminds me a bit of Kimi Ga Dai Wa and Adventuresome Encounters in that regard. And the star of the show, the mushroom? Present and accounted for, dry and smoked into an earthy incense. It stays a nicely clean mushroom for me, it doesn't turn into dirty fungus, although this is highly dependent on skin and chemistry, I'm sure. It's so oddly charming, just like mushrooms themselves. I am hanging onto mine for a while to see where aging takes it. I don't enjoy the cologne stage, but the mushroom incense stage is magical.

I've been wearing this constantly. I'm obsessed, I tell you. OBSESSED. Now, I will be straight with you. Wild Nights - Wild Nights! is totally a scent you can't judge by the bottle smell. Because fresh from the mail, this DOES have big-ass floral funk, the way a strong dragon's blood smells like big heady red florals. In fact, I would have sworn this WAS dragon's blood, not jasmine. I find those hard to wear, and I probably would have avoided trying Wild Nights on the skin just from a bottle sniff. But well, the bottle was already mine, so of course I'm going to test it. Almost immediately upon hitting the skin, and certainly once drying down, the intensity of the fake-dragon's-blood reddified-jasmine situation poofs into nothingness, and instead emerges the most gorgeous melange of silvery vetiver, Ceylon cinnamon, and sugared musky vanilla. It is like a sexy aged Snake Oil with vetiver and cinnamon on me! The black musk, as usual, tends to lend a tinge of nag champa and oily darkness to the blend. The patchouli and vetiver are both to-die-for iterations of these notes. Same patchouli as You May House Their Bodies, I think? A dry, earthy, unsweetened patchouli, and the shimmery vetiver from Vetiver Patchouli Apple Peel trio. The vetiver lasts for so many hours. It's a soft little cloud of perfection around me long after all the top notes are gone. Three notes that I struggle with - jasmine, cardamom, and sugar (and smoked things, sometimes) - are not an issue here at all! The jasmine does not rear its head after those initial first wet couple of minutes, and just lends whatever it is lending to the overall magic of the blend. (The in-bottle floral funk is not indolic to my nose, it just really does have a peculiar, almost medicinal/laudunum vibe that is a bit unpleasant.) Cardamom too is somehow held in check, perhaps by the cinnamon? I don't enjoy wearing strong cardamom (it makes me feel queasy), and here, it doesn't seem strong to me at all. And as for the sugar, all I can do is whisper *Snake Oil* and you will know what I mean. I think if you enjoy Bloodlust, Streets of Detroit, Smut, and/or Snake Oil variations like Death Adder and Saw-Scaled Viper, Wild Nights is along those lines. But it needs skin-testing, desperately! The morphing is astonishing. This has potential to be a huge runaway hit, and it's going to age phenomenally. However, I suspect it's for the cinnamon-and-spice lovers, the vetiver fans, the black musk wearers. I know it's not for everyone, but then, what perfume is? Wild Nights seems to have made for me and my skin. Sexy af.

The 2021 White Sandalwood strikes again! It reads as baby powder in such blends as the new RPG Drow Yoga Instructor and Tiefling Therapist, and that's exactly what comes across in Death is Death: poofy white powder that could indeed be found on a baby changing table. I can't smell much myrrh here (which usually has a bubblegum/perfume/both quality to me) and the incense smoke must be hiding behind the poofs of big-ass white sandalwood, because I can't detect it at all. Those worried about either myrrh or smoke have nothing to fear here! I think if you enjoy white sandalwood - Shadow Self, RPGs - Death is Death is a very simple and lovely kind of blend, almost a single-note. Elegantly simple. I am not a white sandalwood fan, apparently! But I think this will have some fans.

Another Weenie I am glad I decanted and not blind-bottled. Fresh out of the gate, To a Dead Friend is Zest bar soap. It stays brightly, cheerfully detergenty for hours in varying degrees of strength. This is a very, very CLEAN scent in all the worst ways! The musk to me smells like the white musk that gives off big soap energy. It also reads very masculine to my nose. I get pretty much none of the listed notes. Certainly zero plum, alas. Horror Citrouille was a good contrast to this one, since the plum in Horror was very outfront, whereas in To a Dead Friend it is MIA. Buried under all the soap, maybe? I can't see this one aging into anything I'll ever like, so no bottle for me, definitely!

With a bit of aging, this is so much better than the GC it's based off of! I think I have always written Horror Citrouille off in my head because I keep expecting it to be like Horror Sympathique plus citrus. Of course, that is not the case! In reality, it is a carroty pumpkin juice kind of note added to a thickly dark plum wine, honeyed and spiced. Where the GC leans towards a fizzy champagne and sour wine place, the Weenie variation puts more emphasis on the plum and the darker elements. There is still a wine element there, but it smells more aged and mellow, with way less bite to it. Surprisingly, I rather enjoy Horror Citrouille? I'm going to play around with wearing my decant of it more in the next few days and see if it warrants a full bottle before my next lab purchase. I'd recommend it as a spooky drink blend, heavy on the pumpkin and plum and spiced mead.

This is not as bad as most of the Weenies 2021. That said, it's not great. A light green vibe, a mild lotion smell, and something a little burning deep at its core. I really would like it to be motor oil deep in there, but I am unsure if aging will actually bring that out of it. I'm not willing to risk a full bottle of it, given that I have some really good motor oils already. (Streets of Detroit, Wasteland World.) This decant will be one to watch over time, but I don't think I will be sad not to have a full of it. Watch me eat my words in a few years

The bay leaf that I remember from Kommt Mit Zacken Und Mit Gabeln is back! If you have tried Hierophantes, you know it well too. It is a clean-leaning herbal, somehow leafy and masculine and fruity-fragrant all at once. In the case of Laurel, it starts out very beautiful, but dries down with a burn to it that is too nose-singeing to be bottle worthy for me. I smell no fig, tobacco flower, or even really any other discernable note other than the bay leaf. It reads as a health food store scent to me, very herbal/homeopathic medicinal, astringent. It's not for me, but I can see other bay lovers loving it.

From the notes, I would expect this to be a SPICY blend. But oh no, it is a cozy, by-the-fire kind of sandalwood, gently spiced like a warm mug of tea, lots of warmth and comfort without much <i>zing</i> like I'd expect from red pepper. This dries down into a wonderfully reminiscent piece of nostalgia for me that I have NO basis of scent reference for, but I'm sure there is a particular cologne that this smells like and I adore it. Clean and cozy and warm and inviting. More than the sum of its parts. I don't have any other BPALs that really smell like Skeletons Dancing to a Tune, or that bring back that particular scent memory, so I snagged a bottle and happily. It is so different than the other Weenies of 2021 too, the opposite of burning; it soothes rather than scorches, and makes me happy without being sweet or feminine at all. I could very easily wear this all summer long because of how easy its profile is, a sleek and sophisticated sandalwood murmuring at musk and creamy spiced notes, but everything so rounded and wearable. It's just the perfect all-year-round gothy hygge scent.

These notes sound like my JAM! I was sorely tempted to blind bottle, but I sprung for a decant. Result: oh gods why is there Irish Spring invading my clove ginger red musk? I honestly don't smell any of those three notes. I smell something bright and "ping"y overlaying the fiercely sudsy nature of Skies. It's a bar soap kind of detergent smell, almost, er, Dial? From back in the day? I have no idea what that's doing in this blend, but it's here and it's been here for the past five months. I really hate this. I don't smell any clove. I don't smell any red/crimson musk. I smell something that's like gingery soap. This was one of the biggest flops of the 2021 Weenies on me. Glad I decanted!