HKB

Saw five seconds of wife swap, deduced premise of muscular people vs dwarves

Eating chips and salsa for breakfast at noon. No rules on mama's day

Having my 3rd beer for the evening. Want to give my liver some exercise, keep it in shape

Wish I had a weapon

lady in my English class didn't like Hemingway story because the character had a "bad attitude"

I love Kafka. When I'm dying I will think: Why didn't I listen to Kafka?

There was a spider in my hair! I'm a witch!

My cat is laying in a strip of sun on the carpet, appears to be experiencing an exalted state of satisfaction unknowable to human animals

Dissing Walt Whitman.

When someone says "ten years ago" it takes me a while to realize they're not referring to the 90s.

The human right to not be bombarded by meaningless obscenity designed to extract one's resources.

WHAT is Cat Power doing wasting my time with this stupid new album

I had a chimichanga for breakfast

My dinner was three cookies

i like to get ate out, maybe sometimes. aslo i have sometimes. then mabye we could see move. i like oves. i liek whn they kiss.

Helping dude locate missing hearing aids plus sexting. Cool at multitasking

Double rainbows

I've had sex hundreds of times!

Writing fan fiction about my neighbors

How is it that I'm 27 and still not used to the idea that I'll never get taller/ people older than me are not necessarily taller

Boyfriend says I weigh more than he can carry, will not carry me to bed. So mean.

I wonder what would happen if I didn't wear a bra to work

My cat's hungry but i don't care because she isn't human

Dissing my mom to her face, over e-mail. Feels good!

I spent way too much time favoriting some of my old tweets. All I ever talk about is crapping and my period, I guess? Cool.