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BPAL Madness!
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TMI alert

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smallvoice

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This has to do with teh sex. There's your warning.

 

First of all, I'm in the midst of an anxiety attack so bad that I'm about to cry. This doesn't have to do with sex, but it does sort of explain my mindset. I've even tried applying Whitechapel, and I'm still this bad.

 

Okay, so, intimate time with the husband was minimal while we had the roommate to look after, and I've kind of gotten used to it being that way. I love sex, and I love him, but I have so much trouble getting my head into the right frame of mind. It almost makes me panic, and I dread even cuddling with him because I'm always tense, because I know he's going to ask for it, and you guys don't know how much I wish I could make this entry friends only. I've got more to say, but when it feels like 6000 eyes are prying, I just freeze up. How fitting. :wub:

 

Now I'm pissed, for no reason at all. Gah. PMS already? I need to get it together, because I'll be in school on tuesday. I'm really glad we're only having a 3 day week.

 

I'm so nervous about having to read LoTR. :joy: And I'm nervous about math. I really want to do very well in it.

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Well, just give it some time and patience. Have you talked to him about this? I mean I am sure he's noticed the "no sex" part, but does he know why? A little bit of conversation might go a long way...

 

At least you can say that you still like sex. I am just so over it! Give me a good book. Or a wall to spackle. Or a tub to grout. I hate home improvement, so that should really give you some insight as to how I feel about sex.

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I have tried talking to him, but he's so freaking understanding. That sounds awful of me, right? But he's just all, "Well, stress can have that effect. We'll get it all worked out, trust me." He's so considerate, too. He tries not to ask often, but... yeah. I just wish our sex drives were in synch again. (Dude, I feel dirty saying "in synch" and it's all because of N'Sync... anyway. /minor rant)

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Your boy is a real gem, he really is. Not that many men would be that undertstanding. Wow. Being the yogini freak that I am, maybe trying a little Tantric stuff that isn't exactly about intercourse could be nice. Sitting naked, back-to-back, just feeling the other one breathe. Maybe with a big yummy blanket wrapped around the two of you if it's chilly where you're at. It's all very sensual without being sexual. Taking baths or showers together? Always fun. Rubbing lotion on each other's skin, with nothing else in mind? Very sweet, very nice, very trusting, very comfortable. I'm a bit too much of a sensualist for my own good, but there's a few ideas as a springboard for your imagination! :think:

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