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BPAL Madness!
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I feel better...

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Yeah, but I also feel kind of awful. I mean, here's the thing: My husband says we can put off getting rid of one of the cats until he gets his disability, which will probably not be until January or so. We're going to take his cat to get checked out at a vet's office to figure out what's wrong with her- even on sensitive stomach cat food, she vomits pretty much every day, poor thing. I also think there's something wrong with her eyesight. If there's something seriously wrong with her and it's outside of our budget, we'll have to look at options there. So I'm still going to have to get rid of one of our cats, just now one might be getting put down... not exactly sunshine and roses. But it is a respite. And maybe they'll sort it out over this winter. The biggest problem is that there's no alpha cat. My cat is more willing to fight, but she's a scaredy cat, and she knows when she's outmatched. His cat can kick my cat's ass, but won't fight for anything. So the dynamic between them is... well, not dynamic.


Any suggestions would be welcomed. At this point, I'm a hair's breadth from invesigating bunnies. (Not as pets. It's a Buffy quote.)


We tried getting them both hopped up on catnip this weekend to see if they'd be more willing to duke it out, but no such luck.


I'm contemplating bringing a third cat into the mix to shake things up. (My parents' cat, on loan. However, they have a male cat, so I'm not sure what impact, if any, he would have. He'd probably just avoid all the conflict and laze around in the sun.)

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Hi there,


I'm new to the board and stumbled upon your posting about your cat problem. I've had a lot of experience with cats and was hoping I could offer some help.


I don't know anything about your cats such as age, type, previous health history, but I do know that a cat can have chronic issues with hairballs. This will often make them vomit, sometimes constantly depending on how much of their hair they are actually consuming.


Also, don't rush to get rid of one of them. After enough time, they will work things out. They may not necessarily establish a pecking order right now but I think they might over time. I myself had a similiar problem and my two cats virtually hid from one another for 6 months straight. One night as I was sitting on the couch, they suddenly came flying into the room playing with eachother. :)


I have found with this problem (god knows I've had enough cats) the best approach to this is leave it alone and let them work it out. Eventually they will.


I really hope this helps you and your kitty family.



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I definitely agree with the above poster - on both accounts, actually. :)


My youngest furbaby (*and* one of my DH's older family cats) had a problem with puking after every meal. The vet reassured us that it's a common problem - from hairballs to eating too fast. One of the best indicators as to whether it might be a more serious problem is what the vomit looks like: solid to semi-solid kibbles is likely eating too fast. Worms can also make a cat vomit excessively, as I learned with one of my other kitties. An obstruction in the stomach/bowel could also be at fault - if the vet rules out all of the lesser problems, you should ask about an xray.


With regards to the odd kitty behaviour? Some cats need years to adjust (yes, I said years) to new situations, whether it's moving or gaining a new sibling or parent - and sometimes they never return to their old behaviour, sometimes the adjustment period brings out a whole new personality! :D


As long as there's no excessive fighting (we're talking violent, dangerous, bloody stuff, here), obvious signs of extreme stress (ie. licking/gnawing off their own fur), and both critters are eating/drinking/using the litterbox/occasionally checking in with you or the hubby, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Perfect example: my mom's weirdo cat, Luna. She was adopted from another family five years ago. Upon arriving at my parent's home, she took up residence under my little brother's bed for months, not even coming out to eat - we had to serve her under there. When she finally *did* emerge, it was only to rush into the basement where my younger sister lives, and she's been there ever since. On the rare occasion, she'll join my parents for some late night television, but she prefers spending her days sleeping in my sister's armoire. And like I said, it's been five years. Luna's original mom (moved abroad) was flabbergasted at hearing about this bizarre behaviour - and my mom had never witnessed any strangeness when she first visited the home to inquire about adoption. It was just Luna's way of adjusting. The vet says she's totally healthy, and she *seems* happy (she plays with my sister and sleeps with her); she just doesn't want to leave the security of the basement - she obviously finds comfort in it. :)


Whew - sorry for the long-winded post. My heart just breaks (for pets *and* their parents) whenever the issue of re-homing is brought up - especially for behavioural issues. If you *are* still concerned (and what good guardian wouldn't be?), definitely ask around for more advice - your vet, your local shelter (they often deal with "problem" pets, poor things), other cat-lovers in your area, even an online cat forum/message board.


I hope things work out for the best. :)

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Thanks for the input and advice, guys. :) I really do appreciate it.


With regards to my husband's cat's health: He has had her on food specifically to reduce the risk of hairballs, and he's had her on worm medication for about a year. Neither one changed her pattern at all. When she vomits (this may be tmi, folks) it sounds like she's getting ready to get rid of a hairball, but it is usually pretty well digested. She does also throw up when she eats too quickly.


We have her food, water and litter box in our bedroom. She wants to go out and run around; it's obvious she has cabin fever, but she allows herself to be intimidated by my cat. She's been here for 10 months, and there's not even the slightest hint that she is willing to fight for even the smallest amount of ground. It doesn't seem fair to her, and I'm not sure I could deal with having the litter box in our room for years.


I'm definitely going to be asking the vet when we take her in, and I may also go find a cat forum to discuss the issue upon. Thank you again for your support!

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