There's a Bob Schneider song that goes: "The world exploded into love all around me..." and my version of it today is: "The world exploded into woots all around me..."
Hell, I got a CnS on my big order last night! There's just something about knowing that your deferred gratification is about to be consummated. And this is a big order (for me, relatively) of Kali, O, Osun and Ogun. I love O so much and I was afraid I was going to use up the bottle that I now have prior to getting another. I'm probably going to have to order a big bottle the next time that I break down and order a LE.
I need to get ready for work. I'll ramble more later.
My hairdresser does have a good sense about what is trendy, because she cut my hair into this cut about a month ago, and I haven't been entirely sure about it. It's a lot healthier, but I just wasn't sure. My hair does grow really fast, especially in the summer, and now it's probably a half-inch longer. Anyway, last night I walked by the TV and there was Sandra Bullock on Leno, with my haircut. Mine needs another half-inch or so to hit the same length as Sandy, and I have sideswept bangs and she doesn't. But I'm taking in the Sandy photos at the end of this month and instructing Brandi that I want to maintain at Sandy's length. Same cut, just a bit longer.
Sandra, you probably know, went with Matthew McConaughey for quite a while. What you might not know is that her next boyfriend was that my favorite singer and designated ideal cutie-pants, Bob Schneider. I am not very jealous of her about Matthew, but about Bob, oh yeah, I'm jealous. Not really, I just say "good for you, sistah!" Then she married Jesse James, the West Coast Chopper guy. He doesn't do much for me, but I think Sandra is a biker chick at heart.
Last night I was listening to Caroline Myss, and sometimes I find her to be borderline moonbatty, but in general I really enjoy her perspective. And that perspective is looking at the intuitive, mystical side of life, as seen by a really brassy Chicago broad who doesn't mince words. I was lucky to pick out the CD that I did, because it was equivalent to getting a good lecture from a friend who pulls no punches. I am not going to lay all my garbage (or as I like to say it in this context, "garh-bhage") on you, but I really need to get my shit together. If I would detail all the complications in my life right now, you'd probably not believe me.
Caroline makes some statements that always help my perspective -- to look at the people in your life, especially those who have a great impact upon you, as someone with whom you have a sacred contract. It's not your job to figure out why they are there, or why you are there. And don't worry about your life working or not working if they are there or not there -- because you know what? You weren't born to live for them, you were born to live for yourself. And at the end of the day, if you're meant to be together, it will happen. And if you're not meant to be together, it won't happen. Simply endeavor to live out your end of the deal as well as you possibly can, giving respect to yourself first, and then to the others in your life. But don't take shit off of them if they aren't playing fair. She calls it living in the heart of the paradox, and that's very true.
Ah, should it be that easy. I'm there a lot of the time, but then there's always a person or two who are huge, huge challenges. And then I feel like I'm being eviscerated. It's such a lovely sensation. But as one of my other favorite wise women, Pema Chodron, likes to say, a lot of these really strong emotions have a shelf life of 24 to 48 hours.
So I'll wait it out, kind of like how I'm waiting for my hair to grow out to Sandra Bullock's length. Actually, I'll forget about how I'm feeling faster than my hair will grow, and I'm not upset about my hair, so what gives?
One of the reasons that I love this forum is because (other than the amusing, funny, intelligent, kind and lovely smell-obsessed members,) it is very well moderated. I used to go onto another forum and spent most of my time there as a lurker, in large part because it wasn't really moderated and the "host" was a bright, well-versed, but utterly mercurical and sometimes Just Plain Nuts person. She'd caused a drama in another forum that resulted in an exodus to her current forum, which was set up specifically so she could host it and provide her expertise, which she does indeed have, in between psychotic episodes.
But predictably, she's had another melt-down in the last week and is turning against forum members and the business who's hosting the forum. A good friend who also used to participate told me about the drama, and it was indeed a fiasco, complete with conspiracy theories and accusations of slander. I looked at it for a while and jokingly suggested to my friend that one of us make a post to the forum that has now become a war zone with a suggestion for a mantra. My thanks go to darkitysnark for the inspiration behind the mantra:
"Ohm yamma ramma drama llama drama!"
My day blew chunks, but then I got a CnS for my Monster Bait: Underbed order, and the dark clouds parted and the moon came out! (The CnS arrived at 8:04 p.m., sun wasn't around.)
I am really, really tired after my week at work. A minor rant follows.
I work for a state legislature and everyone in my office tends to specialize in certain policy matters. I was assigned a legislative bill last year that has morphed into something that's not within my subject matter specialty. Because it's a terribly controversial issue that keeps morphing, and because the person working with the subject matter that my bill has now become is the newly-hired golden boy in the office, my boss didn't reassign the bill to him. He's making me keep it and I'm going to be the one whose name goes on what may be a controversial analysis document.
Now, WTF? Some of my coworkers told me it's because my boss trusts my work, but I don't believe that for a minute. I think he likes to run my butt up the flagpole and spares the men in the office. If the new guy did the work, my boss would have to trot along with him if a senator is upset, because the new guy is a poor little baby and we can't have his feelings hurt. With me, no way. And it's not like I even did that much of the difficult analysis -- economists in an agency did that work. But my name goes on the document, and we do have the ability to disagree with agencies. But I didn't, because it's damn near impossible to accurately figure out what's going to happen. I said there was no basis, at this time, to disagree. How's that for weasel words?
And here's the worst part: I was telling my boss today about an obscure part of the bill and he said to me: "I didn't know that was in there... good girl for finding it." Now, WTF? I am not his fucking dog who retrieved a bone, nor am I a girl. I am fucking over 40 years old! Patronizing 'nadless sack of shit.
And they all wonder why I have such an attitude.
I do need to investigate those TAL blends and see if there's one for my boss. Any suggestions, TAL experts?
