Failmingo Report post Posted September 1 In addition to being available at our booth at Dragon Con, the Chromatic Dragons and The Peach Pit will also be featured in our online shop from Friday, September 4th through Monday, September 7th. That way everyone can participate in the fun! ++ CHROMATIC DRAGONS Label design by Erick Turner 5ml perfume oils, $33 apiece: ✤ FULVOUS DRAGON Fulvous Dragons haunt sun-baked grasslands, haunted plains, and abandoned watchtowers where tawny grasses ripple like a lion’s mane in the heat of a distant wind. Lovely and secretive, they vanish so completely into the landscape that travelers often mistake them for late afternoon light. They are collectors of brass astrolabes, weathered horn, amber, dried seed pods, and honeycomb. Their tawny scales shimmer with warm hay, mimosa, toasted grains, acacia blossom, sun-cured tobacco leaf, golden musk, wild honey, russet amber, and cedar seasoned beneath an endless summer sky. ✤ GINGERLINE DRAGON Adventurous and restless, Gingerline Dragons rarely sit still for long, preferring to travel with merchant caravans, carnival performers, circuses, and pilgrims. Their hoards are stashed along trade routes and are stuffed with lacquered trinket boxes, jars of dried fruit, spice bundles tied with hemp twine, bundles of saffron silk, and amber beads gathered from distant ports. Their radiant scales exude dried apricots and peaches, ginger root, mandarin, clove bud, turmeric, cinnamon sticks, toasted vanilla, neroli, frankincense, and benzoin. ✤ GOOSE TURD GREEN DRAGON The least dignified name in draconic taxonomy belongs to one of its most accomplished ambush hunters. They vanish into marsh grasses, duck ponds, abandoned monastery gardens, and wetland reeds. They cultivate rare medicinal plants and collect willow whistles, abandoned waterfowl nests, and river stones. Contrary to their unfortunate name, they are fastidious creatures, endlessly grooming their matte moss-green scales that are scented with pale lichen, damp soil, fig sap, crushed fern, patchouli root, oakmoss, sweet tabac, and vetiver. ✤ INCARNADINE DRAGON Incarnadine Dragons conceal the eggs of their young in forgotten battlefields, ruined abbeys, and memorial gardens where crimson petals bloom over the carved names of heroes and saints. They are solemn custodians of sacred places, especially those that have been bitterly sanctified with blood and sacrifice. They cherish broken swords, ceremonial weapons, tattered standards, wax seals, lost reliquaries, and faded heraldry. Their blood-red scales are suffused with pomegranate tears, damask rose, myrrh ash, dragon’s blood resin, clove bud, charred cedar, and garnet musk. ✤ LUSTY GALLANT DRAGON Lusty Gallant Dragons are notorious romantics, deeply theatrical, thrill-seeking troublemakers that can be found anywhere where mischief can be made. Their hoards overflow with theater tickets, love tokens, stolen ribbons, jeweled masks, and gambling implements, and their vivid scales perfume the air with rhubarb jam, tangerine, pink pepper, pink cherry, carnation, neroli, and cherry sugar. ✤ MILK-AND-WATER DRAGON Gentle and empathetic, Milk-And-Water Dragons are guardians of the home and hearth who cherish everyday ordinary miracles: clean sheets, warm blankets, comfortable silence, the scent of fresh bread and firewood, the first quiet hour of the morning. They collect antique creamware, fine linens, pearls, cashmere throw blankets, knitting needles, and thimbles, and their buttery translucent scales carry the scent of steamed milk, almond blossom, oatmeal, tea, and shortbread. ✤ WENGE DRAGON Ancient even among dragonkind, Wenge Dragons make their homes in the deepest parts of dense old-growth forests, where the multilayered canopy admits only the barest flickers of sunlight and the bark of trees both fallen and thriving are streaked with moss and shadows. They are archivists and chroniclers, strategists and philosophers, collectors of polished wooden instruments, chess pieces, iron keys, petrified wood, dried mushrooms, and jet beads. Their nearly-black scales smell of wood ash, cacao, smoked tabac, patchouli root, hemlock needles, and ancient bark. 4oz hair gloss, $37 apiece: ✤ GRISARD DRAGON Haunting abandoned quarries, bell towers, and ancient bridges, Grisard Dragons are aloof and introspective. They gather weathered gargoyles, sculptors’ tools, millstones, and rain-stained statuary, and they treasure the chisels of the master masons of the ages. Their ash-grey scales are scented with silver sage, white incense, limestone dust, white sandalwood, and ambergris accord. ✤ EBURNEAN DRAGON Creatures of winter dawns and silent snowfall, Eburnean Dragons inhabit the coldest of climes, nesting in snowbound peaks and marble cloisters streaked with rime. Cognizant of the ravages of time, they collect fragile, fleeting treasures: delicate ice sculptures and tears frozen mid-fall. Their luminous scales shimmer with white iris, crystalline musk, chilled vanilla silk, white tea, heliotrope, tiare, and gardenia. 4oz atmosphere & linen spray, $34 apiece: ✤ VINACEOUS DRAGON Philosophical, hospitable, and loquacious, Vinaceous Dragons build their lairs beneath venerable vineyards and wine cellars. They gather oak casks, corkscrews, antique goblets, vine cuttings, and crystal decanters, and their wine-dark scales perfume the air with black grapes, damson, velvety benzoin, blackcurrant, sherry, black fig, dark chocolate, and black rose absolute. Nail polishes, $19 apiece ✤ DRAGON'S SPLEEN Magenta to green scaled duochrome with sparkling holo ✤ DRAGON'S HEMOGLOBIN A translucent blood red jelly with black chrome micro flakes. Available in extremely limited quantities and is only being sold in-person at DragonCon. ✤ EBURNEAN DRAGON Shimmering pale cool white champagne jelly. ✤ GINGERLINE DRAGON Yellow toned orange shimmer jelly with a warm orange aurora & micro sparkles. ✤ GOOSE TURD GREEN DRAGON Matte moss green. ✤ GRISARD DRAGON Grey shimmer with silver micro sparkle jelly. ✤ MILK-AND-WATER DRAGON Shimmering sky blue jelly. ✤ WENGE DRAGON Deep shimmering brown with micro holo sparks. ++ THE PEACH PIT 5ml perfume oils, $33 apiece: ✤ ALICE IN THE PEACH PIT A curious little orchard tea party. Innocence with a strange little bite: peach tea, soft cream, sugar, and a scatter of bright florals. ✤ DOC CONSTANTINE’S PHENOMENAL PEACH PANACEA A peerless preparation of pulverized peach stone, precious peach extract, and potent botanical compounds guaranteed to restore the bloom to the cheek and the spring to the step! Fortified with cedar smoke, fir needle, chaparral, black amber, leather, and a mysterious quantity of Doc Constantine’s celebrated proprietary musk. A miraculous peachy preparation for the restoration of vigor, vitality, and all manner of complaints! [While Doc Constantine’s Phenomenal Peach Panacea has been prepared according to the highest standards of carny-cart apothecary excellence, it should be understood that this aromatic nostrum is intended for perfuming the person and delighting the senses only. It has not been proven to restore vigor, repair spirits, cure the vapors, strengthen the constitution, improve one’s prospects, or remedy any other physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, or romantic inconvenience. Any miraculous improvements in disposition, confidence, or peach-related afflictions are entirely coincidental.] ✤ MOROCCAN POWDERED PEACH The faded blush of dried peaches tucked into a spice chest: powdered peach folded through Morocco's warm musk, carnation, rose, red sandalwood, cassia, bergamot, and spices. ✤ PEACH PIE SNAKE OIL This serpent has abandoned the Tree of Knowledge for a more delicious temptation. A bubbling peach pie — golden crust lacquered with butter, ripe peaches engulfed brown sugar and spice — steeped with sugared Snake Oil: deep, rich earthy notes, vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices. ✤ VILLAIN IN THE PEACH ORCHARD A beautiful fruit with a bitter heart: a lavender fougere with blackened peach, blackcurrant, clove, leather, and dark woods. 4oz hair gloss, $37 apiece: ✤ COCONUT CREAM PEACH ICE CREAM Creamy coconut, peach ice cream, and a swirl of vanilla sugar melting in summer’s heat. ✤ PRALINES AND PEACH CREAM Velvet peach cream with buttery pralines, toasted pecans, and a ribbon of caramelized sugar. ✤ SUN-WARMED PEACH AND BRANDIED CHERRY Golden peach, booze-soaked cherry, and the sensual perfume of an orchard heavy with fruit just before harvest. ✤ SPARKLING GINGER PEACH Juicy peach, candied ginger, and the fizz of a chilled summer cordial. 4oz atmosphere & linen spray, $34 apiece: ✤ PEACH CHAI LATTE Peach nectar stirred into creamy chai: black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, and a swirl of steamed milk. ✤ WHITE PEACH SALT WATER TAFFY Pale peach spun into a seaside confectionery: salt water taffy, sugared peach, and a trace of sea salt. 4oz lotion, $37 apiece: ✤ GEORGIA PEACH A freshly picked Georgia peach: velvet skin, golden flesh, sticky nectar. 1oz beard oil, $33 apiece: ✤ GEORGIA PEACH A freshly picked Georgia peach: velvet skin, golden flesh, sticky nectar. ********************************************************************************************* The next section of this announcement relates to products we'll be previewing *in-person* at our Dragon Con booth. These will not appear in our online shop over the weekend, but we promise you'll have a crack at them later on! ++ VICTORIAN PSYCHO “What is evil? Can you touch it? Can you smell it? Can you taste it on your tongue?” This fall, BPAL collaborates with Bleecker Street Films on licensed scents drawn from the world of VICTORIAN PSYCHO, the film adaptation of Virginia Feito’s 2025 gothic horror novel, starring Maika Monroe, Jason Isaacs, Ruth Wilson, and Thomasin McKenzie. 5ml perfume oil $36 apiece, or 4oz hair gloss $40 apiece: ✤ VICTORIAN PSYCHO Sugar-dusted Honiton lace and vanilla moire stained at the hem with black tea and tonka, translucent orange blossoms veined like dragonfly wings pressed to the bodice, and a splatter of coppery, clove-tinged blood on the pearl-dotted sleeves. 4oz atmosphere & linen spray, $36 apiece: ✤ ENSOR HOUSE ATMOSPHERE SPRAY A dreary Victorian house upon the moors: rain-soaked stone, faded velvet, candlewax and tarnished silver, tapestry-lined hallways and creaking oak staircases leading past a gallery of ruined portraits. Musket smoke curls above floorboards splashed with tinctures of belladonna berries and laudanum, dispersed by the restless breath of unseen guests. ++ AN ORC, A DROW, AND A BOG WITCH WALK INTO A TAVERN... 5ml perfume oil, $29 apiece Label artworks by Lily Grasso. ✤ GOOD MORNING, MR. OWLBEAR Blackberry jam on warm toast, freshly sharpened pencils, chalk dust, old wooden desks, oatmeal cookies, sugared apples, and the tea-splashed fur and feathers of an owlbear patiently explaining long division to a classroom full of rowdy children. ✤ SEA HAG SOMMELIER A strangely sophisticated vintage hailing from drowned vineyards: chilled green wine, kelp, lime peel, sea lettuce, and a splash of mineral-rich sea water swirled in a crystal goblet. 4oz hair gloss, $34 apiece: ✤ COVER GHOUL Get those corpselights and cameras rolling because she’s grave-glamorous, deathless, and always ready for her close-up. Coconut cold cream, plum rouge, tuberose, embalming lilies, cemetery roses, bitter almond, bone dust, and shards of coffinwood. ++ BAKER STREET A small expansion of the Lab's 221B Baker Street series from The Eternal Collection, celebrating the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Label artworks by Abigail Larson. ✤ IRENE ADLER To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. American-born and Europe-renowned, an opera singer who turned the heads of half of London, outlasting and outsmarting any man who tried to seize what was hers. The perfume of the theater clings to her – velvet plum curtains, amber gaslight, scorched oxyhydrogen gas and dry chalk, faint metallic dust, the dark, spicy scent of polished wood, and a scattering of discarded roses – lifted by clever white musk, tuberose, and leather. ✤ JAMES MORIARTY He is the Napoleon of crime, Watson. He is the organizer of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spider in the centre of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them. Cold vetiver and gray amber held perfectly still, with a fine web of dry oakmoss threaded all through it. Wears close to the skin and doesn't announce itself, as several people have discovered rather too late. ++ THE ETERNAL COLLECTION NAIL POLISH ✤ THE BLOOD GARDEN Blood red jelly sparking with micro holo. ✤ BRISINGAMEN Light cider brown-orange with a lime green shift jelly. ✤ JACK Pumpkin orange shimmer. ✤ NIGHT GAUNT Cool grey-blue jelly shimmer. ✤ NIGHT RAVEN Dusty grey jelly with a sparkling lilac aurora. ✤ TKO Lilac purple jelly that packs a punch ++ NEW STONEWARE MUG ($49) This sexy stein is 4.625″ (ish) tall, emblazoned with the BPAL Triple Dagger Logo, and holds roughly 16 ounces of liquid refreshment. [Each mug is handmade and unique, so the glaze, exact coloring, and exact volume capacity will vary slightly from piece to piece. They are all brownish-purplish-blue, but the brownish-purplish-blue, drip lines, and glaze color vary from piece to piece. Lead-free and dishwasher, microwave, oven safe, and made in ‘Murica by human hands.] ++ HALLOWEEN 2026 PREVIEW 5ml perfume oils, $33 apiece unless otherwise marked: ✤ BLANC DE FANTÔME Continuing our classic spooky cosmetics series, we’ve come up with a fancy name for the white foundation we used in Los Angeles back in the heyday of the 80’s and 90’s deathrock scene. Titanium dioxide accord, rice powder, talc accord, lead-free Venetian ceruse accord, and a hint of nag champa, clove smoke, and patchouli. ✤ CLOVE CIGARETTE ($36) The coveted BPAL and Thorns Clothing collaboration, will return for a limited edition run as part of our Halloween 2026 collection! The scent’s story and description: Anyone who haunted the gothic scene in the ‘80s or ‘90s remembers the scent of clove cigarettes. Great clouds of billowing clove smoke created a ubiquitous atmosphere in dance clubs and at live shows, floating through the air and creating an unmistakable, almost religious miasma. Smoking clove cigarettes was a perfumed but dangerous habit which was simultaneously romantic and literally self-annihilating, and served as an olfactory calling card for the gothic subculture. I’d been searching for a scent that would encapsulate the romantic concept of Thorns as a brand, and suddenly I realized it could be none other than that very specific scent I missed from gothic spaces of yesteryear. After researching traditional kretek flavoring profiles, I reached out to the olfactory geniuses at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. They have called upon their decades of perfume experience and exquisite sensitivity to achieve this perfect evocation of an old school clove cigarette, which you can now enjoy in a much safer way! Available in a perfume oil that is both vegan and cruelty free, this scent is a love letter to goth kids everywhere. ✤ DUSK IN AUTUMN Black tea, currant cake, mandrake root, a whirl of dried leaves, and hearthsmoke. ✤ EVERY DAY IS HALLOWEEN Skin-warmed sandalwood and toasted pumpkin settle into a gentle blend suitable for all 365 days of Halloween. ✤ GRAVEYARD DIRT A tribute to a somewhat nefarious and truly notorious ingredient in New Orleans spellcrafting. It is employed in hoodoo rootwork for various reasons, primarily in spells of protection, “tricking” your enemies, binding, and even love magick. The graves are chosen based on the type of working, and are determined by the type of spirit that lies there and the manner of their demise. Payment is always required in the form of offerings to the deceased. This is the scent of pure graveyard dust, spattered with grave loam and dusted lightly with tombstone moss. ✤ PUMPKIN BLOSSOM Everything we love about pumpkin season begins here, from a flame on the vine. ✤ PUMPKIN TOBACCO Sweet black tobacco infused with dried pumpkin and soaked in bourbon. ✤ SAMHAIN Truly the scent of autumn itself -- damp woods, fir needle, and black patchouli with the gentlest touches of warm pumpkin, clove, nutmeg, allspice, sweet red apple and mullein. ✤ SKELEMINGO Pink grapefruit and black licorice. ✤ SPIDER PLUSHIE Here’s a warm hug from eight fuzzy, peppery arms stuffed with floofs of grey cotton candy. ✤ STIR THE CAULDRON A limited edition collab with the Once Upon A VHS podcast, a queer and never-ending quest through the fantasy films of the ‘80s and ‘90s. “Let’s stir the cauldron” is how Michael and Callum always segue into discussing the themes and vibes of their chosen subject, so we've brewed up a special potion to match: black amber, smoky vanilla, graveyard dirt, 7-year sweet aged patchouli, witchin’ herbs, and a curl of incense smoke. 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