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Found 127 results

  1. smallvoice

    Weather and Whatnot

    We got some sleet tonight- I'm praying for a thaw by monday. Trinsic sent us another bill. How messed up is that? It's in the pile to be faxed to the utilities commission, assuming we have the right number for him. I can't find where I wrote it down. My husband says that swaps are stressing me out too much and he'd really prefer it if I stopped. So, I've stopped. But. I'm unhappy about it. Not so much the regular swapping, but I really wanted to get into starting decant circles. We have the money right now for the supplies, but he says we should save it, which means he doesn't want me spending the money on perfume, and I wish he would just say that, because it's not like anything EVER gets saved. We blow it on stupid things, and I would just as soon have the decanting stuff. I get where he's coming from, but I am so frustrated because I'm fixated on the vials right now, and I desperately want to try Hope and Faith. I'll test them at Convergence, though. (Assuming they're going to be among the throng.) I should just sell all my perfume before Convergence. I'm in a mood. Oh! I should be setting up an appointment with a real, live therapist next week sometime. (Not going to the appointment next week, but setting one up for hopefully sometime soon.) That's quite a relief... I will sing the praises of medication for depression and anxiety until I'm blue in the face, because they've helped me so very much... but I think I've reached the limit of where they can take me. It's pretty impressive. I wouldn't have believed it a few years ago, but I'm the happiest I've ever been. I just don't want to slide back into depression, and I feel like I could do that. So, yeah. Instead of buying decanting supplies, I went switch witch shopping. Okay. I have GOT to stop obsessing over this.
  2. smallvoice

    Icy Roads

    My college has classes that begin as early as 6:50 am. The highway to get there is the main highway between the nearby cities. Wouldn't you think that it would be top priority to get cleared off? That and, you know, the streets that run by the college? Excuse my mouth, but holy fuck. Three lanes, and I'm in the middle one. There's a semi and an SUV up ahead and to my right, a car a ways ahead of me, and a truck to my left- and a car behind me. All the sudden, the SUV hits an icy patch and starts veering for the side of the road... but she doesn't. She panicks and starts trying to straighten out the car- in the process, crossing all three lanes and circling more than 350 degrees... and lands smack in the middle of my lane, so that I'm heading for the side of her car, and I'm slowing down and praying that she will figure something out and get moved, and it hits me that she's so freaked out that she's not going to be able to do anything, so I have to do something or hit her car, so at about 30 mph (which I've managed to slow down to, on our 70mph highway), I slip into the right lane at literally the last second, and was shaking and trying not to sob the rest of the way to school... but I didn't wreck my car, and I didn't kill her, or anyone else, but it was SO scary. I don't want to go in tomorrow unless it's all melted away. ALL of it. Dude, that is so scary. I almost threw up. I was so freaked out the entire time I was driving home, too.
  3. smallvoice

    More school

    I mortified myself this morning. I rushed to get to school and was about ten minutes early, and the math classroom was empty except for the instructor, who looked like he was grading papers. So I came in and looked over my math, and I thought about running over to the admin building to get the add sheet I'd forgotten to pick up yesterday (and again today!) but decided against it. People slowly filter in, and this girl sits next to the instructor and starts asking him questions, so I don't want to interrupt that, but I do want to catch him before class starts, so I go over there, pull up a chair, and listen to what they're discussing while I wait my turn. Finally, I'm like, "Hey, I don't mean to be rude, but I forgot to grab an add sheet." He stares at me blankly and is all, "Add sheet?" So I say, "Yeah... to add me to the class... I spoke with you yesterday about it?" And he laughs, and loudly says, "Oh, I'm not the instructor." He glances back and then points to the guy walking in the door. "He's the instructor." Mortified. So I slunk back to my seat in shame. How awful. And everyone heard the exchange, but seriously, I'd only met the guy yesterday and I didn't really remember what he looked like, and... yeah. So freaking embarrassing. The rest of the day was fine, though, surprisingly.
  4. smallvoice

    Phone saga

    The watchdog group didn't work out. We paid stupid Trinsic. They're going to disconnect the number entirely in 24-48 hours, so I'll probably be without DSL until Verizon can get us hooked up. I dunno how long that'll take, so if you don't hear from me, don't worry, for I am not gone. Ugh. I hate this.
  5. smallvoice

    Calmer now

    As has become expected, I am doing much better today than I was yesterday. I am SUCH a freak the first day of a new quarter, seriously. Speech is going to be challenging, but I think it'll be good for me, and I already like the instructor. I got into the 8:00 math class and dropped the one that traumatized me, so even though I'll have to get up at 6am, I'll be totally done with school by 11:30, and that is really nice. I have missed that. I'm half tempted to do a 7:00 class next spring so I'll get out at around 10. But... eh. I'm not that much of a morning person, and dragging myself to yoga at that time was seriously difficult, and that was only two days a week. I like my Lord of the Rings instructor, too. I have a feeling that is going to be a good class for me; I just need to get reading. For now, though, I need to do some math! to everyone! Thanks for all the support!
  6. smallvoice

    A brand new, clean year!

    I spent tonight with my husband, cleaning up our kitchen and playing Baldur's Gate and watching the ball drop, and it was fantastic. It's our second New Year together, but our first as husband and wife, obviously, so it was special. I know how lucky I am. It's going to be a great year, even if the going isn't always smooth, because all I see when I think about 2006 are the shining moments, even if I was a basket-case for so much of it. Thus, the good outweighed the bad. By a lot. Happy New Year everyone! Oh, and my new watch? Is beautiful. In case I forgot to mention that among the Christmas postings.
  7. smallvoice

    TMI alert

    This has to do with teh sex. There's your warning. First of all, I'm in the midst of an anxiety attack so bad that I'm about to cry. This doesn't have to do with sex, but it does sort of explain my mindset. I've even tried applying Whitechapel, and I'm still this bad. Okay, so, intimate time with the husband was minimal while we had the roommate to look after, and I've kind of gotten used to it being that way. I love sex, and I love him, but I have so much trouble getting my head into the right frame of mind. It almost makes me panic, and I dread even cuddling with him because I'm always tense, because I know he's going to ask for it, and you guys don't know how much I wish I could make this entry friends only. I've got more to say, but when it feels like 6000 eyes are prying, I just freeze up. How fitting. Now I'm pissed, for no reason at all. Gah. PMS already? I need to get it together, because I'll be in school on tuesday. I'm really glad we're only having a 3 day week. I'm so nervous about having to read LoTR. And I'm nervous about math. I really want to do very well in it.
  8. smallvoice

    Zenkei Journals

    This website shows what sort of inspired my husband's gift to me. I can't find them anywhere else, but I know I've seen them before. He made it himself, though, and it is perfect.
  9. smallvoice

    Christmas!

    It was a great day! I am so, so, SO tired. Hee, my fetching gloves garnered lots of compliments, including one from my sister-in-law with whom I was mightily pissed recently. We got a gift card to Pier 1, which is odd. I like the store, but we don't do a lot of shopping there. Ah, well. I guess we'll have to browse. Highlights include: My watch, of course! It is really lovely, and has no clasp- it's kind of like a bracelet style... wow, I don't know jewelry, obviously. I don't know how to describe it, but the band sort of expands and my wrist slips through a gap. Anyway, it's silver and has a large, round face and is gorgeous. So I shall retire my first watch to the watch box, which is really quite exciting. The project from my husband- A gorgeous, framed note, written around "ENDURE" which was the central focus of the piece... anyway, it was about how that word sums up our relationship, and that while life's uncertainties make it impossible for him to promise a lot, but he does promise that we will endure. So incredibly romantic and sweet and yes, I cried, and we kissed, and it was awwwww. I wish I could describe it better. Firefly on DVD! Awesome. It was the best Christmas ever. Until next time.
  10. smallvoice

    The holidays!

    Merry Christmas, lovelies! Even if you don't celebrate the actual holiday, I hope the spirit of the season itself brings warmth and love into your lives. You all deserve it. Take the best care, and I shall write an entry with the scoop on my holiday swag as soon as possible. Love to you, darlings!
  11. smallvoice

    Philosophical

    I'm tired right now, but I've got a lot on my mind, so I thought I'd do a brain dump here. Since I can! I'm swapping for King of Spades with somebody I trust a lot, so yay me. Now if only I can get my hands on a bottle of Glitter. I just realized I forgot to finalize a swap! Cripes, I feel bad. I need to go leave a message now. Okay, done. I will hopefully be getting Punkie Night, which will hopefully smell pretty on me. This year I need to focus on GC's. I am just so OCD when it comes to LE's. But I need Alice, Arkham, Mouse's Long and Sad Tale, and a few others- Bewitched. Plus I want to try a bunch of patchouli blends and a few others- Persephone and March Hare are the ones I'm obsessing over right now, as well as Depraved, Ravenous, Sin, Urd, Sri Lanka, Spellbound, The Catterpillar, Vixen and Tweedledum. Tweedledum in particular. The last are from my patchouli recommendation thread! (I want to try the others, these are just the ones that stand out to me.) Anyway, the title. I was feeling philosophical, but now I'm not. I guess I'll leave it at that. Hope you all are doing well. Peace and love to you all!
  12. smallvoice

    Rambling

    Freaking Melody. Heh. I'm sorry, and I know a lot of people love her, but.... first impressions and all. If that chick knows where the Ark of the Covenant is, she needs to tellllll me. And stop filling it with water. Freak! Ahem. I'm done. Seriously. I'm such a spaz. How did I get to be so old? My husband is out in the front room doing something mysterious and Christmas-y for me. I'm not allowed out, and I think it's very sweet. I can't wait to find out what it is so I can brag about him here. Hee. I don't know that I say it enough here, but I love that man. He is so good for me. SO GOOD! In other news, my brother's mom seems to be in stable condition, and should be here for Christmas- which is wonderful, seeing as how my brothers and sister will all be here, and the last time we were all together before my wedding was many, many years ago, and I was dumb and didn't take a picture with them- so we will have to get one while they're in town for the holidays. I was so afraid that we wouldn't be together again until a funeral, so that's a relief. I hope! I just really hope she makes it. It would suck for her kids and grandkids if she died so close to Christmas. Me too, obviously, but them more. Uh, okay. My brain is still flitting about much like a hummingbird. Hummingbirds freak me out, because some of them are so small that they resemble moths. We have HAYUGE moths out here. I'm so phobic about moths it isn't even funny. Riiiight. I can't concentrate, obviously, so I'm going to go play Cake Mania. Seriously. It rocks. Big Fish Games is the coolest thing ever!
  13. I've been a member of BPAL.org for a year now! Wow. I mean absolutely no offense to anybody with this post, especially not Krissy, but I don't get the kritters. I appreciate that other people like them and want them, but it doesn't resonate with me, I guess? They just sort of puzzle me. And, again, this is not meant to harm anyone's feelings or anything, but the price seems a little high. I don't know. I'm in a shitty mood, so please keep that in mind. I am sure they are adorable and they obviously have a fanbase, but... I dunno. I don't get it. Here's another thing! Anybody here know of Melody? She writes books about gems and shit- I don't know her last name, don't really care. She's very new agey and has really long, white hair. Anyway. This woman I used to be friends with (V) hooked up with a doctor shortly after her husband died (he was admittedly an asshole, though, but still) and the doctor is old friends with Melody, so V used to go on and on about her and how she named gems after the doctor. Eventually V and the Dr. wanted to get "married", but she wouldn't get her dead husband's pension if she did, or something, so they had a commitment ceremony instead. (This is going somewhere, seriously.) Well, I went over to this ceremony at the doctor's house (oddly enough, they still weren't living together, and didn't for the first few months...) and met all these people and briefly spoke with Melody. Then V gets all excited and is like, "She's going to perform this special blessing on us!" And Melody turns to me, and I shit you not, says, "This bottle," she holds up this tiny blue bottle, "has water from the Ark of the Covenant in it." And I'm so taken aback that all I can say is, "Really." Pause. "Huh." And her eyes are shining all mystical like, and V's just thrilled to death, and I'm sitting there going, "Did I miss something?" Water. Ark of the Covenant. And she was dead serious. I've always wanted to introduce my husband to her by saying, "Oh! This is V- you remember me talking about her, right? She got married with the water from the Ark of the Covenant?" Hee.
  14. smallvoice

    Watchdogs ahoy!

    Thanks for pointing me in this direction, Fil. The guy called my cell phone today and told me that he wanted to know immediately if the phone line was disconnected, because they're not supposed to do anything to our line while an investigation is pending. Hopefully this will get sorted out soon! Meanwhile, we'll be able to stay online! I should go find the number, just in case. Eep. Anyway, so that's great news! And I know what I want to get for my mom, I just can't get it right now. It'll have to be late, sadly. Ah, well. And I think I need to find some more imps of MLST so I can get her a few in a roller bottle, because I think it would smell fantastic on her. Anyway! I'm feeling better now that somebody is looking into the situation. I am so freaking pissed at Trinsic, it's not even funny, so I hope they get taken to the woodshed. Or at least get a stern talking to, and we get our phone back. In other news, I watched part 1 and 2 of the Lost Room, and I'm bummed because I love the premise, and it's almost exactly how I wanted my NaNo to go- the things they needed to find were going to have odd properties, and there are all sorts of directions to take it. I may still use it and draw on the show- it's not like I'm going to be published or anything. (I'm going to flesh out my characters this year and then write out the novel next November. It'll be better!) Anxiety is high again, can ya tell? My mind is just racing. Okay, gotta go figure out what I'm doing. Take care, dearies. Thank you for your support.
  15. smallvoice

    DSL and stuff

    Okay! Here's the deal, folks. I have no idea. I got an auto-reply from the watchdog group saying that they'd be gone until after the 20th, so nobody has gotten in touch with us, which I find really strange... Hopefully they can do something about this, but I'm pretty sure my dsl won't work without an active phone line in the house, so I may be gone for a bit. If that is the case, please remember: Happy holidays, whatever you celebrate! I'm thinking of you and will be going through massive bpal.org withdrawls. I love you guys!
  16. smallvoice

    Still here...

    I don't know if my line is gone yet or not, but I'm still online for the time being. I'm not confident I will be later, but just thought I'd pop in while I still can. I have no idea what to get my mother for Christmas. We got a gift card to Sears from the wedding that we're using for it, though. Soooo. I'm also going to nab her some books and a few other things. My mom loves unwrapping gifts, and she loves having gifts that are for her. Childhood trauma and all. Plus, who doesn't love presents? Heh.
  17. smallvoice

    Grades!

    I did something right with psychology- I got a 3.8!! Math is, of course a 3.4 (curses! I was hoping to make it to a 3.5, but it just didn't happen.) and the fitness center grade was a 4.0. So my quarterly GPA is a 3.83 and my cumulative is 3.42. I'm just sort of thrilled over psych right now. Hopefully my classes for next quarter will have similar results. In other news, I'm now a super member on the forums!
  18. smallvoice

    I'm tiiiiiired

    Yeah, poor me. Hah. I am actually okay. My husband and I were grumpy at one another tonight and so I was in a bad mood- it's strange, because we rarely have arguments; we're pretty good at straight-up communication, I think, but every now and then we just sort of misfire and get on one another's nerves, and that's what happened tonight. BUT I'm trying to let it go. I made six loaves of bread today, and studied in between. SIX, people! I gave one to my parents. Does anybody know how many cups are in a gallon, approximately? I need to figure out how many loaves of bread I get out of a gallon of milk. So, when I was brand new, a few people sent me free imps just to get me hooked. Every now and then, when the spirit moves me and I have extras, I offer to send some out. I did that recently with someone I'd been corresponding with and feeling pretty friendly with. So I sent them to her, and it's like she fell off the face of the planet. She quit coming to the forums a few weeks after it should have arrived, and I sent her a couple of messages telling her it was on the way, and then asking if it had gotten there safely, and I heard nothing from her. This bugs me. It's not like I wanted her to shout it from the rooftops or anything; I know plenty of other people do this, but just some acknowledgement via PM or SOMETHING would have been nice. Arg. My brain is all over the place. And I can't remember where in the brain Wernicke's area is. Finals are scary!!!
  19. smallvoice

    Sooo...

    I am just wiped out. 3 more days of classes and then I'm done with this quarter, and I am SO READY for it to be over. So the birth of my new nephew has me daydreaming about having a baby, which I know is so incredibly wierd in light of my recent total spaz-out over the thought of a parasite living inside me, but... I don't know. It's not quite as disgusting as before, because babies are just so amazing. Yeah, I'm a freak. But my nephew is frickin' gorgeous. (And I really wanted to be able to go down there for the holidays to see him. Sigh.) It will be a few years before we make any decisions in that area, though.
  20. smallvoice

    ANTM

    ANTM: I haven't ever watched it during the season before, but I usually catch at least part of a marathon afterwards. (I'm going to try and break this up, since it was sort of a stream of thought and was in one huge clump.) I don't think the remaining girls are all that pretty, especially the twins. I don't get all the fuss over their features, though admittedly, I'm no expert. Still, they seem pretty... average, I guess? I don't think they'd really stand out all that much, even. However, Michelle is the one I've been hoping would go home since the episode where Nicole left. I like Melrose, and I like that all the other girls hate her. It just makes me laugh. I have a really big issue with girls who can't deal with having their look changed- when they whine about having short hair, it is a complete annoyance and I hope they go home right away. I may be insensitive in that area, though. But seriously, just deal. My favourite was Anchal- I think I spelled that wrong. Gah. Anyway. She was gorgeous! They really played up how much everyone told her that she was fat and wouldn't make it with that body, though, but she annoyed me because she really did the job of sending herself home. If she had carried herself just a bit differently, with more confidence, I don't think she would've taken any shit from the girls at least about her size. Anyone remember Dee? She's, like, half of Dee's size, and they weren't half that cruel about Dee's weight. I have come into this late, admittedly. I actually think that Eugena has the prettiest face of the models that are left. Melrose is my pick to win, though. They usually have a clear leader, which makes it more about watching the girls interact than about the competition, but sometimes people do stupid things, so that's always interesting. I like Carridee, but I don't think she's the winner. They're probably going to send her home next and leave the top three as Melrose, Eugena and Amanda. Hell, maybe Amanda will be their pick, but I kind of doubt it. Yeah, I doubt it a lot. Oh, and with regards to Tyra? She is absofrickinlutely batshit insane. I just don't find her likeable at all. Off to watch the Heroes marathon and put off doing my homework! Whee! I'm done with fall quarter in one week! I'll be home from doing my last final a week from right now! Woohoo!
  21. smallvoice

    Award Winning Cake!

    So! I went to Portland for Thanksgiving and we just got home and there's already a bunch of stuff to write about, but I have to talk about meeting up with Snarky! We ended up getting together Wednesday evening, and we drove around trying to find someplace that was open and even Starbucks was closed! Well, Ms. Snarky found a little cake shop that was closed, but the owner said we could come in while she finished her receipts and she'd make us coffee. We were going to try to find somewhere else to go, but the owner sort of insisted that we stay, so we did, and we learned that she had this award-winning cake. The carrot cake was not particularly wonderful, so I think I should have gone with the special cake, but eh. Anyway! It was a great meeting and she's every bit as wonderful in person as you would imagine she is from here. I got to try a bunch of scents I haven't had a chance to test yet and it was just loads of fun. I was very tired, so if I nattered on a bit, I apologise. Okay... gotta go unwind a bit now. Hope everybody who's local had a great Thanksgiving!
  22. smallvoice

    News!

    In my excitement over not being pregnant, I forgot to share one of my main causes of anxiety, and that is my new nephew! My sister in law had her baby on the 16th and he is beautiful! Obviously they both came through it fine, which was worriesome at the time, and they got to leave the day afterwards, even though it had originally been projected that she'd have to stay at least three days. So, yes. There's much happiness over the new addition to the family.
  23. smallvoice

    Hooray and ow!

    I'm not pregnant! I almost wrote a post here last night that I thought I was pregnant, because I was having huge anxiety over it, but then I freaked out about how saying it might help it to be real or whatever. Anyway, I'm not. Hooray! I hurt my neck today somehow. It is not comfortable. I think I'm going to try and sleep now, though. Just wanted to share the good news!
  24. smallvoice

    Portland, OR

    So! I am going to be in Portland for a couple of days for Thanksgiving, and I know there are a few Portlanders out there- if anybody would like to meet up, drop me a PM. I also know it's a busy time and a lot of you might be out of town, so I'm not banking on it or anything- I just thought I would offer. Aaand... I should know what part of Portland, right? But I don't; not for sure. I think Milwaukee. I'll have my car there, and I'm pondering a trip to Powells- anyway, just let me know.
  25. smallvoice

    NaNo!

    It's finally time to start! I'll let you know if I get my quota in today. It's also my sister's birthday. Must remember to call her.
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