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Failmingo

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Everything posted by Failmingo

  1. Failmingo

    Doom Cake

    From the very beginning this one has been a real head-scratcher for me. In the bottle I get that nice foodie cherry scent full blast, floating up on a cloud of cake. Like perhaps there's a hint of citrus there at first, but I'm just blurring it into the tartness of the cherry? It totally smells like some kind of syrup that you can drink. On the skin the cake warms up and I can detect a separate buttercream note, thick and oleaginous. The cake reminds me of the note from Pink Lovebird! And the lemon sharpens quite a bit, actually pushing cherry to the side and making it less syrupy. So yes, overall it's a frosted lemon cake with a layer of cherry filling, just yeasty enough to impart that risen quality; a grownup palate dessert, not a kid-palate one. Although, some might associate this combination of scents with opening a box of fruity cereal? But my eyes read "cake," so my nose says cake. It doesn't smell ominous! I kept waiting to see if something dark and unbidden would spring forth from the center of this scent, and at times I psych myself out and think I detect something more sinister emerging (like an oudh?) but I'm pretty sure it's just cake.
  2. Failmingo

    I Know You're Watching Me

    In the bottle: Both sharp and creamy/powdery, it really has that aldehyde sparklefizz but then also this deeper musky scent I associate with an 80s housewife's vanity and toiletry kit. It's clean and bright but not too cheerful, winsome without being too sultry, infused with a kind of vivid, hectic energy ("high-pitched" indeed) where one might expect to find modesty or tranquility. This fragrance really does seem connected to that perfect ideal of womanhood we grew up seeing in TV commercials: eyes shining, teeth gleaming, hair hairing, performing a heightened version of everyday life. In the film, this character wears bright yellows and warm pinks, which I swear I can smell in this blend, although that may be my own mental projection. On the skin: One of those musks that I swear to god smells like an actual living person, a kind of forced intimacy which is very apt in this case. The aldehyde is less intense, and what remains is a compromise between this powdery, glimmering sweetness and a ripe, lightly savory animalic quality that I think relates to secretions somehow: the perfect homemaker transforming into a sex-crazed animal. It's kind of breathy and light, but laced with evidence of carnal knowledge. I can't imagine this appealing to anyone who isn't into aldehydes, musks, and/or powdery florals, but there are definitely some interesting subtleties floating up from beneath those more obvious notes.
  3. Come to the Botanical Fair this Saturday in Philadelphia! We will be contributing the following scent as an IN PERSON event exclusive: OIL OF FLIGHT AND VISION “Inspired by witches’ flying ointments, this is a deep, rooty perfume flecked with grave soil: sweet, tar-like 7-year aged patchouli, henbane bell accord, smallage, opium pod accord, cinquefoil, mugwort, and soot.”
  4. We've created a new perfume to accompany the latest Century Guild Art Nouveau print release on Kickstarter! 💚 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centuryguild/absinthe-robette-rare-vintage-1896-art-nouveau-poster ABSINTHE ROBETTE Radiant emerald rivulets of sugared absinthe and lemon leaf draped with sheer lemon blossom.
  5. Just wanted to make sure this isn't missed in the hubbub! Today we're finally launching the Caligari perfumes (and pins) online, AND ALSO a special one-off fragrance in collaboration with Véronique Hyland, the author of last year's non-fiction book "Dress Code: Unlocking Fashion from The New Look to Millennial Pink". Huzzah!
  6. Failmingo

    A Little (Belated) Lunacy

    Okay, hear me out. December and January Lunacy are LIVE, belatedly. Double Lunacy! But the only way that makes sense to categorize these in the URL this is "March 2023", because we can't just keep time-traveling each month as we catch up. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/march-2023/ Also! We need to start clearing out old Lunacy products, so here's the list of everything we'll be taking down about ONE WEEK from now. Please take a look as you're contemplating your current (belated) Lunacy purchases. Does any of that make sense? It's Friday evening and I had a low-dose edible. 🥴 Coming down: ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS ANGELICA ROOT, AMBERGRIS, AND BOIS DE ROSE BUTTERNUT SQUASH, PATCHOULI, AND GREEN FIG CHAMPA ORCHID, CHOCOLATE, AND VETIVER CHARCOAL, CHAMPACA RESIN, AND TOBACCO ABSOLUTE COCONUT, TI LEAF, AND PINEAPPLE COFFEE BEAN, CACAO, AND KHUS GREEN CARDAMOM, IRISH FERN, AND HINOKI HAITIAN TOBACCO, BAY LEAVES, AND PATCHOULI TOMATO, OLIVE LEAF, AND FRANKINCENSE VANILLA CREAM, PISTACHIO, AND MACADAMIA ++ PAINTINGS A SUMMER NIGHT ANIMALS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA CERES COLUMNS OF THE TEMPLE OF NEPTUNE AT PAESTUM FORGE OF VULCAN HORSES COOLING THEMSELVES IN WATER SHELLS TAHITIAN LANDSCAPE THE SOAP BUBBLES YOUNG PILGRIM GIRL ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB EMPOWERING HARVEST MOON LOVE POTION ++ THE PURGE CHOCOLATE DOOBSICLE SUPPOSED TO BE A PRETZEL FENRIS BLARGH FIGGY WOODS FIR NEEDLE AND OTHER STUFF SNAKE OIL LEMONADE STRAWBERRY SANDALWOOD ++ VIRTUAL CON FUZZY PEACH SWEATER AND A MUG OF LONDON FOG PEACH BRANDY SNAKE OIL THIS IS A PERFUME ABOUT MY DOG EATING PEACHES VANILLA WAFERS AND PEACH CREAM ++ LABORS OF THE MONTH 2022 AND HERE I HEAR THE FOWLES SINGE AND HERE I SHERE MY CORN FULL LOWE AND I WEDE MY CORN WELL I NOW AND WITH MY SPADE I DELFE MY LANDYS BY THYS FYRE I WARM MY HANDYS HERE I SETTE MY THYNGE TO SPRINGE I AM AS LYGHT AS BYRDE IN BOWE WITH MY FLAYLL I ERNE MY BREDE WITH MY SYTHE MY MEADE I MAWE
  7. Failmingo

    Site Maintenance Today

    Just sharing this around: please note that the BPAL site will be in maintenance mode today (Tuesday) at an unspecified time, for an unspecified amount of time. Don't be alarmed! Hopefully you won't even notice it. 🤞
  8. Failmingo

    DR. CALIGARI Scents & NYC Event

    Howdy, all! I'll be traveling to NYC to sell our licensed Dr. Caligari (1989) perfumes at the Metrograph screening on March 4th, which will be the premiere of the film's full restoration. We'll have a little table in the lobby to vend before and after the screening. Tickets are available here: https://metrograph.com/film/?vista_film_id=9999003137 Due to our split with the house, we'll be selling these scents for $40 per bottle; later this spring they will debut on our website for $30. I figured at the very least, folks could come and test them all if they wanted to, so they know what to buy later on. If anyone has any questions about any of this in the meantime, please hit me up! Here's the full list of perfumes: TONGUE WALL Fleshy and fruity: guava musk, slick strawberry lip gloss, and blood-tainted digestive juices. CALIGARI A-GO-GO A fragrance inspired by the atmosphere and art direction of the film as a whole — its layers of grit and ooze, pop-art colors standing out against a starless void, clumps of debris, fake flowers, vials of mystery fluid, rumpled straitjackets and crisp lab coats. Green amber, jasmine bud, cotton blossom, eucalyptus, secondhand smoke, dirt, and petitgrain. I KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING ME The scent of full-blown nympho housewife hysteria: a smear of flushed, pearly skin musk splashed by a sophisticated vintage aldehyde perfume and drenched in the secretions of high-pitched arousal. DOOM CAKE A drug-induced vision of grabby, gore-slicked tentacles erupting from a facade of thick buttercream and lemon sponge soaked in cherry-flavored goo. CANNIBAL SOLILOQUY “I know what I am, but I know I’m not what I am. Beauty lives inside me. But oh, when beauty is trapped, it gets ugly…” A perfume worthy of a fading Tennessee Williams heroine wandering through a mirror-maze of memories, only slightly singed from too many Electro-Convulsive Therapy sessions: wafts of burning frankincense rising from a hot-seat occupied by duelling champaca orchids, white amber, Sicilian mandarin, and bergamot. SCARECROW BOYTOY A lusty, bubbling cauldron of thick, black tar spilling forth from a pile of dusty straw and secondhand clothes. XXX MEANS KISSES “Life imitates bad art.” A rare portrait of innocence and integrity amidst the corruption of Caligari’s asylum. Tart hibiscus, skin musk, shea, and the faintest whiff of nicotine. MINTY ON MY LIPS Even the brainiest femme fatale schemes are bound to collapse under the weight of a monstrous ego. The scent of defeat snatched from the jaws of success: a soft, satiny pink grapefruit punctured by a shiny metal drill bit.
  9. Failmingo

    Update: LE Price Increase

    Hello, everyone. You may have noticed in the Luper launch that the prices have been modestly increased to $29. A quick note about that! Please prepare for this to be the new standard. We're going to have to raise prices on a bunch of our existing licensed collaborations as well, since so much has changed since those original financial arrangements were made. As I wrote elsewhere yesterday: in a world where the prices of basically everything else go up, ours need to as well. Maintaining the quality of our product demands it, paying and insuring our employees demands it, and neither of those are negotiable expenses for us. Every time BPAL's prices have gone up, it's been long overdue and only as a last resort. It's terrible to imagine losing customers as a result of choosing to stay in business, but we've already dramatically cut expenses wherever possible, including fully uprooting and moving families and employees to a more affordable location (very expensive in the short term, but truly the Lab's only hope for continuing to exist). I recognize that just as we have to keep our heads above water, so do our customers, and so even small price increases may ripple through other folks' budgets and leave them with some difficult choices. Fragrance is a luxury product, and everyone will have different estimations of what that's worth. We want to keep our products accessible to as many folks as possible, for as along as possible, and for those products to be as pure and trustworthy as possible, and to contain as much artistry as possible. The figures associated with those goals rule our lives. I'm sure many of you can relate in your own way. Hopefully as a result of the move we'll be able to reorganize in ways that save money and forestall further price increases. But we gotta do what we gotta do, and will just keep trying to be worth the $$. I apologize for not informing you earlier, we were very deeply embedded in Luper land last week, and I wasn't aware until launch day that THIS was the time when the change would be taking place. If you see anyone asking about it, you're welcome to refer them to this post. TB
  10. Failmingo

    Lupercalia 2023 is LIVE 🫀

    It's that time of year when BPAL fans collectively tilt their phones and monitors away from others' view so they can browse the Lupercalia collection in its full glory. This year's release is swollen to the point of bursting with scents crafted to stir the senses and awaken dormant desires. Here's everything that's included in the launch: 🫀 LUPERCALIA GENERAL CATALOG - A mix of classic Lupers and brand new enticements fresh from our laboratory https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/lupercalia-main-2023/ 🫀 SILK FLOWER BOUQUET - A romantic bundle of hyperchromatic fantasy florals which are realer than real https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/silk-flower-bouquet/ 🫀 CHERRY BOMB - A series of scent-note suitors lining up to meet-cute with variations on the cherished cherry https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/cherry-bomb-2023/ 🫀 BOX OF CHOCOLATES - Let your fingers wander over the shiny surfaces of these rich, sweet scents, selecting just the right one (or all nine) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/box-of-chocolates-2023/ 🫀 RAUNCHY HEARTS - These aggressively explicit variations on candy heart messages are sure to start a few conversations — or perhaps abruptly end them! Gutter sweets aren't for everyone. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/raunchy-hearts/ 🫀 SHUNGAS 2023: NOVEL IDEAS FOR SECRET AMUSEMENTS - Each year our fondness for historical Edo-era erotic art overflows into a massive perfume collection highlighting our latest faves. This year we've managed to include some Hair Gloss blends as well! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-2023/
  11. Hi everyone, we've been invited by local Philly folks at Jinxed to contribute to their Heartshow art event, which is also a fundraiser for Lutheran Settlement House! The event is this Saturday evening, Feb 11th, from 5-9pm. Naturally there will be a perfume oil crafted exclusively for that night — 100% of the proceeds from this scent will be donated to the aforementioned cause. Here's what we've got for the crowd that night: HEARTSHOW Cherrywood, red amber, and red musk with a smidge of vein-blue cotton candy.
  12. Failmingo

    Lunacy + 13

    Hallo, here's our latest attempt to get back on schedule: the elusive November Lunacy scents, plus the latest iteration of 13. Are you feeling lucky, punks? https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-2022/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-6/ "Help steel your nerve in the upcoming year with this earthy blend of 13 symbols of luck and stability steeped in smoked cacao: purple sage, lavender bud, patchouli, Irish moss, thyme, ambrette seed, chocolate mint, rice milk, vetiver, hazelnut, barley, tobacco, and cedar."
  13. Failmingo

    Snow Whitechapel

    This one sneaked up on me, y'all. I haven't given all the Snows a proper sniff yet, and history has shown it's not a scent type I'm particularly predisposed to love, but I'm always keeping an open mind. In the bottle it's cool without being minty exactly, fresh without being too mineralic or zesty, and the sweetness of the musk stands out perfectly. I have a hard time tracking musks sometimes, I don't think my nose always receives what they're broadcasting, but this one is framed so well by the other elements that it's unmistakable. Lilac is another of those notes that I'd have a hard time picking out of a lineup all by itself, and it's a delicate part of this brew -- the perfume doesn't read as "floral" but the lilac element definitely contributes to my overall enjoyment of this blend in a delicately balanced way. I don't know whether "citron" refers to the evergreen plant or its fruit, but there is definitely some kind of evergreen property to this. The citrus is dryyyyy, the only sense of juiciness or humidity seems to come from something cold and lushly green. My mental picture is of appraising an overnight snowfall early the next morning: the delicate stillness, the softness of the color palette, the vapors exhaled by the trees as the first light hits them. Overall the blend smells very fancy to me, and reads even less like a masculine cologne than the original Whitechapel did. Something about dragging it out into nature (thematically) and letting it freeze overnight has lent it an especially otherworldly charm, like a forest fairy prince who can't be counted on to ever fully warm up to you -- and might imprison you in a hollow tree if the two of you ever really hit it off. It lasts quite a while on me, and the scent remains pretty stable from first dab till the last gasp, though I'd say it's the musk that dies last, and that harder edge of frostiness is what melts away first. Still though, a total triumph and complete surprise -- upon first reading the list of stuff that got Snow-ified, this was not the one that leaped out at me.
  14. Failmingo

    Happy New Year from BPAL!

    Hallo hallo, we have gone ahead and done something rather rash and reckless: we just launched a little NYE perfume series inspired by weird old cards! And ALSO added a Strawberry Buttercream Sufganiyot scent to the Yules (as we originally intended to). Happy New Year from our strange little workaholic family, may these provide some fond winter jollies during the cold months ahead. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/new-years-creepers-oddments https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/yule-2022/strawberry-buttercream-sufganiyot-perfume-oil/
  15. Failmingo

    YULE/WINTER 2022 Is Here

    WE DID IT! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2022/ Here's everything the update contains: ❄️ Yule General Catalog • Old friends, new friends! ❄️ Carved Wooden Holiday Village • A series of woody fragrances to be enjoyed and rearranged year after year ❄️ Cranberry Bog • It turns out you can teach an old bog new tricks! ❄️ Creepo Yuletide Greetings • Perfumes inspired by a series of strange old greeting cards that we'd love to send and receive ❄️ Snow On Snow, Snow On Snow • BPAL's classic SNOW WHITE fragrance casts a frosty spell over a series of General Catalog scents ❄️ The Cake Boys • A special yuletide sponsorship scent for these NYC pals, a troupe of drag kings and alternative queer & trans performers • https://www.cakeboykings.com/ ❄️ Santa Doesn't Need Your Help • A fragrance crafted to accompany the entertaining new Christmas storybook by Kevin Maher and Joe Dator ❄️ Yule Hair Gloss • Gloss your hairs!
  16. I'm not JUST here to tease you with glimpses of the Yule update (which we're hard at work on!), but to help pace expectations related to holiday shopping. As in the past few years, there's basically NO guarantee that we can ship these brand new scents in time for Christmas. The world is chaos, the postal system is slammed, and the new facility is operating with a decidedly NON-ginormous skeleton crew. If you really, really want gifty 'fumes to arrive in time for Christmas, you basically have two options. Firstly, you can order now, TODAY, from the vast array of amazing options that are already in stock on our website. Yeah, I know, boringgggggggg, but still. That is the safest path to order fulfillment ahead of Dec. 25th, and we greatly appreciate the business. The second option is more of a wish and a prayer, and that involves including a note IN THE COMMENTS OF YOUR ORDER that it's a gift and you really need it by Christmas, and we'll do our best (still no promises!) to prioritize it. No, these two options aren't mutually exclusive. Also, the second option won't really work if people are grinchy and use that trick to hasten their regular orders for themselves, will it? So there's a bit of an honor system thing going on, and others' Christmas dreams are likely to count on you (YES, YOU) being honorable. And as is my annual custom, I'll also drop a mention of our Gift Certificates, which are available in any amount and will allow people to find and discover their own 'fumes at their own pace. You can buy those right up till the last minute, since they are delivered via email! The perfume teased below is slated as a fundraiser scent for Transanta, an org we've posted about on Instagram that shares gift registries for young trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming folks who can't count on receiving gender-affirming gifts (or any at all) from their families this Christmas. That's a great place to do a little shopping while you wait for us to finish up: https://www.instagram.com/transanta/ I'm figuring the Yule collection will go live next week? That's all I know! Thanks, friends, and hugs. We're really trying.
  17. Failmingo

    A Few More LE Restocks!

    Okay, contrary to what I said elsewhere, we have indeed managed to restock a few more LE's! It felt important to get the word out, so folks can still pounce on the Free Gift imps if they haven't already. Cherry Red Oct 33rd The Shadowed Veil Samhain Every Day is Halloween Lightning Strikes Literature Apple Macchiato A Sorceress Sorry for the mixed messages, we really are just off-roading through this stuff because of the move.
  18. Failmingo

    CHECKMARK Restocked! ✅

    Hey y'all, we managed a quick and dirty (read: unplanned) restock of the recent SCHRODINGER'S CHECKMARK release, just in time for Cyber Monday, which means you can access our Free Gift imps if you order it today. Kablam! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/schrdingers-checkmark-perfume-oil/
  19. Failmingo

    Black Friday Weekend Frimps

    We've whipped up something special for Black Friday weekend! Anyone who spends $15 or more at BPAL from Fri. Nov. 25th through Mon. Nov. 28th will find the following trio of 1/32 oz. perfume oils tucked into their order: 🥧 BLUEBERRY BANANA CREAM PIE 🥧 CARAMELIZED PECAN RUM CAKE 🥧 GINGER CAKE WITH QUINCE AND ORANGE ZEST These perfumes are impossible to obtain any other way, will be given out while supplies last, and should under no circumstances be tasted, nibbled, or otherwise ingested. Thanks for supporting a small business during your holiday shopping, it means the world to us!
  20. Hello, very pleased to announce that it's Lunacy time once more. And to thank everyone for being so marvelously patient and supportive during our move (which is still ongoing!) we've made sure to sprinkle this launch with some special standalone Limited Edition stuff. Enjoy! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/late-october-2022
  21. Failmingo

    SPOOPY KID Restock

    Boo! Looks like we've managed a Spoopy Kid restock. Due to the move we're stuck doing this pretty much on a case-by-case, catch-as-catch-can basis. Thank you for rolling with it! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/lilith-2022/spoopy-kid-assaulted-by-a-sunbeam-perfume-oil/
  22. Failmingo

    PUMPKIN RUM CAKE

    We blew it when we launched the 'Weenies, accidentally omitting PUMPKIN RUM CAKE. We've launched the scent to coincide with the sniff vid in which we sampled it -- link to the perfume is in the caption. Thank you, and apologies once again!
  23. Failmingo

    Halloween 2022: New Perfumes!

    Halloween has a magic that transcends season, and we have bottled it for year-round enjoyment. This year's perfume collection is finally here! 🎃 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/halloween-2022 Contained therein, you'll find... 🎃 A bounty of General Catalog 'Weenie scents — some old, some new! 🎃 Ginormous Yard Skeleton — four perfumes inspired by the stages of acquiring this contemporary spooky-season staple 🎃 Bobbing For Apples — our mind may be in the gutter with these variations on BPAL classics, but at least we get a healthy snack! 🎃 Pile of Leaves — the Lab's time-honored Dead Leaves accord has returned to imbue the air around you with a distinctive crackle 🎃 Witches, Sorceresses, and Sorceries in Art History — a sinister museum tour painted in scent 🎃 Lightning Strikes — three variations on BPAL's classic Lightning fragrance, created in collaboration with PS Publishing to celebrate the release of their new non-fiction book about The Bride of Frankenstein 🎃 Persephone's Bounty — a wealth of autumnal pomegranate perfumes
  24. A beautiful new (old) hardcover book, postcard set, and accompanying fragrance by BPAL! BEAUTIFUL MACABRE: SALOME "Sensual, undulating veils of wild plum, sweet aged patchouli, cardamom seed, myrrh, red labdanum, vanilla bourbon absolute, saffron, and leather-touched incense."
  25. Failmingo

    Candle Drop THIS Saturday!

    This Saturday morning at 9am Pacific, we'll be dropping another small batch of candles — small, as in under ten of EACH of the following fragrances. Truly first come, first served, at this link! Thank you for giving them good homes. BLOOD JASMINE EMBALMING FLUID GRAVEYARD DIRT POMEGRANATE PATCHOULI VETIVER SUGARED ABSINTHE
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