Failmingo

This weekend will be the latest blood milk event at Sphinx & Snakeskin, and they'll be unveiling the following new scent: MIDNIGHT SNOWFALL Frost-dappled night-blooming petals, Oman frankincense, champaca orchid resin, and opium tar accord. Updates and info about the event can be found here: https://www.instagram.com/sphinxandsnakeskin/

Everyone here likely already knows that the Lupers have landed, but here's my belated official post about it! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2024/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-2024/ Here’s a cross-section of the collection's contents: 🫀 Main Category Lupercalia - Reunite with old friends and lovers from Lupers past, or cruise for new ones! Here’s where you’ll find the HEART BEET scent we designed our announcement around: “Raw, wet beets, pulsating blood musk, and raw wild ginger.” 🫀 Box of Chocolates - Our latest sampler full of treats like WHITE CHOCOLATE AND TARO CREAM are so decadent, you’ll be tempted to taste... but these perfume oils are for external enjoyment only! 🫀 The Amphibian’s Lapidary - Five chromatic variations on our fairytale blend ROSES, PEARLS, AND DIAMONDS, inspired by different precious gems. 🫀 Our Lady of Pain - For the first time in over a decade we’re revisiting “Dolores”, Swinburne’s 1866 poem of tormented longing, painstakingly interpreted through scent. 🫀 For Entertainment Purposes Only - This 2018 series inspired by popular grownup novelty items rides again, accompanied by ribald illustrations by Drew Rausch. We’ve even compromised our constant “Perfume, not poppers!” messaging by adding a new fragrance called VIDEO HEAD CLEANER. Please sniff responsibly, ya freaks! 🫀 Shunga 2024: Novel Ideas for Secret Amusements - A shining star among BPAL’s annual collections, this series of perfumes, hair gloss, and atmosphere spray is inspired by Edo-era illustrations of adults enjoying themselves (and each other) very adultly. If all this has left you feeling dirty, please also note that a major Bath Oil restock occurred simultaneously with this update. So get your mind out of the gutter and into a steamy tub where it belongs. Consider inviting a friend! Happy Lupercalia season, everyone! 🔥🫀🔥

It behooves us to inform everyone that we're headed into another round of price increases on the website as we set the stage for Lupercalia. I don't have concrete figures yet, but I'm happy to get out ahead of this change and help explain it. There are two areas where BPAL refuses to cut costs: 1. The quality of our ingredients, since our products are absorbed into the skin. 2. The integrity of our labor practices, which include providing our small crew of employees with a reasonable wage and benefits for those working full-time. As a result, these are our two greatest expenses (and I'll add that they're expenses that many of our competitors are NOT shouldering). Our standards are higher, our operation and output are larger, and we have a much more established reputation to uphold. I'll also tell you this: BPAL's chiefs have avoided adjusting prices fairly for years, fearing it would alienate members of our community -- folks who have gotten used to spending a certain amount to enjoy our products, who have come to evaluate our output through a very specific lens. I've spent years trying to polish that lens, updating everyone on the reality of our situation, highlighting the differences that make our company unique among other indies, and helping guide customers to the most affordable options. But the larger truth is that BPAL's tried-and-true economical model has continued to evolve drastically in recent years, just like that of every other small business. Many of our key ingredients have *doubled* in cost. DOUBLED! These are specialty components with no acceptable substitute. They are what make certain blends so beloved, and make exciting new concoctions possible. There is no "reasonable" price increase that could possibly make certain products profitable again, nor can we retire or replace them without losing something essential to our identity -- hence the need to raise prices across the board. We're determined to maintain a stable, continuous scent library while also exploring new vistas in fragrance. I'm sure we'll be exploring income streams that don't rely as heavily on global imports of extremely precious substances. We're daring to be optimistic about our prospects as we continue settling into our roomy new facility in Philly -- thankfully now one of the few variables in this equation that ISN'T bleeding us dry. The cost of BPAL's labor isn't something we consider it tasteful to complain about. We've had meetings with industry professionals who were taken aback by our insistence on producing wares here in the US, under our direct supervision. And as someone who's worked full-time for the Lab since 2016, I'll tell you some things about this aspect of the business that Beth, Brian, and Ted would never think to say: BPAL's ethos is directly drawn from their own personal experience working terrible, labor-exploitative jobs... and also from really great workplaces they were fortunate to be part of. As a worker, this has been a transformative experience for me, and I've seen it have the same effect on my coworkers. We are determined to be the company that folks have always believed we could be. Still, this has often resulted in all of us (including myself) doing the jobs of many more people to offset steadily increasing expenses. The gradual price hikes instituted since 2020 were just band-aids helping to stave off catastrophe. We knew it even then, but Beth has a personal horror of blowback from testing our core customers' loyalty. She wants everyone to get the version of BPAL they love best, and has sacrificed mightily over the years in order to keep everyone as satisfied as possible. She will hate me telling you this! But I can't stress enough what a difference it makes to work for and alongside someone who actually cares this much, even as I worry about the toll this can take on a person. I'm newer around here, which helps in terms of presenting facts a bit more plainly: it's not 2004 anymore. The world has changed, the perfume industry has changed, economic realities are continuing to evolve. The dream of providing a wide range of safe luxury products that satisfy sophisticated palates, obscure tastes, international fandoms, and niche interests doesn't run on dream-dust alone, and we are embarrassingly sans trust fund. Even if we had an angel investor or corporate buyout to fall back on, the very first thing they'd do is look at the books and insist on raising prices AND moving production abroad. I think the best way I can put this to old BPAL heads is: you want more Carnaval Diabolique? You want an exciting range of new licensed products, or expansions of existing ones? You want more deep cuts from past releases to resurface? Reformulations of lost greats? More jewelry? More imp packs? A better website? More original storytelling? The magic key to all of this is Beth regaining the freedom to be a creative dynamo working at the height of her powers. We simply can't get there without hiring more people. We can't hire more people unless we raise prices. I've done my best to encourage Beth and Brian through all this, making a case for what their work is really worth, helping them trust that customers will continue to see the value in it. And of course, it will fall to me to advertise all these qualities which make BPAL so special -- which can sometimes be easier with new folks who are seeing us through fresh eyes. Think about what it means for someone in 2024 to stumble across this resource for the first time... a huge playground of high-quality scent opportunities rooted in something positive. Ethical, inclusiv practices, presided over by actual human beings who have somehow managed to madly pursue their artistry THIS far. We recently found out that we've been nominated for a corporate licensing award for our work on the TOMIE fragrance. We're also going to be featured in an upcoming ELLE. article about the niche perfume boom. As I put it to Beth: these seem like nigh unthinkable career milestones for an old-school goth crew. And we're still gathering steam, capable of so much more. And our products still (and will always) cost far less than those of the brands we consider our worthiest competitors. So with all of this to consider, we urge everyone to keep an open mind as new prices take effect. We've made it this far together, and we're committed to being realistic in our pursuit of keeping the good times rolling.

A new book project called ANIMALIA is being Kickstarted by Century Guild, and we've created a perfume blend that can be added onto any pledge tier for $20/each: DRACO "Come not between the dragon, and his wrath: a rolling crack of Daemonorops draco and red peppercorn, billows of incense smoke, honeyed Cambodian oud, blackened oakmoss, flame-gold amber, a delicate membrane of leather, and a curved, sharp sandalwood claw."

I love the more woody or incense-y Snake Oil variants but there are still like a million ways in which this might not work for me. In the bottle I wasn't entirely convinced -- I could detect the familiar Snake Oil scent kind of straining to break through or sneak past the heavier intrusion of these wood notes, which to my nose smell like actual boards, or some kind of varnished surface. Not bad but I was hoping for more harmony between the old and new aspects of the blend. On the skin, however, it immediately became clear that I'm dealing with a boosted patchouli presence, and THAT got my attention. Possibly sandalwood also, or cedar, or incense components I can't trace. There's a dry raspiness to it, which really does harmonize very beautifully with the classic blend's gleaming oily-slippery-muskiness. It also smells darker and rootier to me than regular Snake Oil. It's quite different than the impression I got in the bottle. That dry sharpness definitely sells the idea of tiny wooden bottles and cardboard packaging. I'm trying to recall the most patch-forward Snake Oil variants, because possibly this is the one? Before long it stabilizes and settles into this modestly restrained mellow, rooty crackle accompanied by a faint gasp of vanilla, which did remind me a bit of sarsaparilla from time to time -- but then when I leaned in for a deeper sniff, that sweetness gave way to darker, woodier aspects. It has a pleasantly old-fashioned vibe for sure; if they made it as a Beard Oil, I might grow a beard! I found that I could still smell it after several hours.

As we set out into 2024, there are some updates to how we'll be conducting ourselves, Lunacy-wise. This year, the Lunacy perfume oil will be accompanied by series of Duets which are connected to that scent. So, Wolf Moon means.... wolfy-moony Duets! And also a corresponding Hair Gloss -- that's right, every month! And also a collectible sticker drawn from Drew Rausch's label artwork. (This month there's a Lunar New Year scent as well: WOODEN DRAGON.) The monthly classical art fragrance series returns as well, and we've dubbed it ARS ANNI and made it handier to find and browse via the "A Little Lunacy" category page, like so: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ We're still reformatting the way this category looks and functions, so it may change a bit yet. And as you can see, the remaining 2023 stuff is still hanging around there, but will be phased out by and by. SPEAKING OF! You have a week left to acquire all the Blue Moon Lunacy scents from 2023, as well as the Sept/October Lunacy products found here. That's Harvest Moon, Hunter Moon, and all the attending Menage and Duets. Is this all clear? Clear as mud? Thanks for hangin' in there while we get it all sorted out.

A note to our LA peeps! I will personally be at Cantiq Los Angeles on Feb 10, offering tester strips for TOMIE, POMEGRANATE INK, and MILLENNIAL PINK to anyone who happens along. Cantiq is celebrating their 9th anniversary that evening; they specialize in size- and gender- inclusive lingerie designs, and their shop is stocked with all kinds of other luxury and beauty items. BPAL isn't selling anything there, just showing face and serving up sniffs of these three LE's which have aroused so much curiosity in the past year. Come by, say hi! It will be a great opportunity to hunt for interesting Valentine's Day gifts. ❤️

We’re very happy to announce a new collaboration, RITUAL SPIRIT, available only via Jamie Draven's store: https://endlessnightstudio.com/ "RITUAL SPIRIT is inspired by the collections and ghosts that gather in the corners of the studio. All the stories in the walls, that come together to make us feel less alone during this ceremony, of remembering, honoring and holding this life that can feel so monstrous, and so beautiful. The healing that comes with the winds and waters as seasons change. That we want for ourselves, and we want for others." RITUAL SPIRIT Amber beeswax, champaca absolute, and 7-year aged black patchouli dribbling over Victorian oak panels and web-dusted bones. A perfumed meditation for your body, and your personal altar space- that which might be as simple as smell, a calming moment, the stillness of the woods or standing in a window -- whatever it is, it is enough.

I got BURIED in Halloweenies and enjoyed SO many of them that it's taken some time to retrace my steps and actually sit with them for a while. I remember loving this but then getting distracted by all the ghosts n' ghouls and such. In the bottle it smells sticky, and in fact the oil does feel ever so slightly gummy when you touch it. The molasses reminds me of Bonfire Toffee, another Halloween favorite, but the cinnamon has been made nearly inseparable from it, giving off a kind of ominous smoldering heat. Potent! The warmth and relative sweetness of the amber are trackable, and definitely pull this back from a purely foodie fantasy. It's... overtly seductive. It's intense. I dunno if it was psychosomatic, but I felt certain I was going to get a skin reaction from that much cinnamon. Just a little extra warmth, that's it. The whole thing roars to life on the skin, and there are interesting layers in there: one moment the scent seems sticky/humid, but inhaled more deeply it's dry/crumbly, like bits of bark and squished incense granules. Flickering sparks but also darker and darker depths. It's so much fun to wear this -- it's pretty conspicuous for a while while also having a secretive vibe, and I really like that combo of being extra but also shy. Toward the end it's just a faintly spicy amber sweetness and I've certainly got no problem with smelling like that.

Our latest collaboration with Century Guild is available via their kickstarter for this stunning Alphonse Mucha print 💐 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centuryguild/princess-hyacinth-rare-vintage-1911-mucha-art-nouveau-poster PRINCESS HYACINTH “Regal balsamic amber teeming with hyacinth petals, narcissus, Siam benzoin, white amber, sweet oakmoss, and pearlescent orchid.”

I reviewed this in an Instagram video not long after receiving it in the mail. Happy to post a written review update to say: I have NOT stopped wearing it since then. In the bottle this is a gleaming wet cherry doused in sap -- not overtly maple-y like the finished product we buy in the store, but the raw stuff from the tree itself -- with some dark, polished woody undertones. It doesn't smell foodie per se, more like a posh atmosphere where delicious treats are served. On the skin each of these notes bursts forth and becomes richer, more complex. I don't know what the "perfumes" might refer to, but I can tell it's contributing to the "warm, lusty, strange, or musky" mentioned upthread. If it was JUST "wooden maple cherry" I'd probably still be so down, but the overall combination of notes (specifically mentioned and otherwise) really does give this a seductive, otherworldly glow. Something to taste, not to eat. Something to kiss and hold, but not to love. Warmth, but no light. Amazing! On me it's just *this* side of femme, which I love, but on someone else's skin it could be extremely va-va-voom. Like I'm truly getting burlesque show backstage vibes from it, which is where I truly feel at home. Over time the fruit dries out a bit and it's a gently sticky/tart, woody scent oozing with mystery.

Nearly 200 writers entered our Nightmare Novellas One-Page Story contest, hence our delay in announcing a winner. Illustrator Drew Rausch joined our judging team made up of Lab staff, and the results are finally in! We must preface this with a mighty thanks to everyone who submitted: you made this extremely difficult! Even the top fifty-or-so stories were a real NIGHTMARE to choose between. We’ll release a mighty tome of them online in weeks to come. And without further ado: 🏆 WINNER: PATISSERIE by Maggie House (Make A Face) 🏅 Runners-Up (in no particular order): STICKY by Cleolinda Jones (Butterscotch and Gummy Candy Witch) GOOD BONES STILL DECAY by CharLee Toth (Man With A Haunted House For A Head) DEVIL’S CHERRIES by Desiree Powell (Wayfaring Stranger) THE OTHER END by Chia-Hua M. Chu (Wayfaring Stranger) A BOY AND HIS ZOMBIE by Jess Mann 🎖️Honorable Mention: CAT TALE by Mister Sister (Halloween Cat) BUTTERSCOTCH AND GUMMY CANDY WITCH by Kyle Wright JONAS IN THE BELLY by Percy Shaffer (A Boy And His Zombie) AN AUTUMN STROLL FOR A PUMPKIN MAN by Ashley Everhart MARSHMALLOW BLACK by Shane Robinson (Butterscotch And Gummy Candy Witch) HEADLESS by Anton Prosser Thank you, one and all, for helping keep the Halloween spirit alive! Or at least, very undead. 💀

I agreed with pretty much everything here as I read these reviews: a soft, dusky, fruity floral (I get both the violet AND the plum) with gently dark undertones. Sitting with this one was important because I wanted to figure out what connected the notes to the story of the woman harassed to death by magpies -- it wasn't readily apparent from the notes. In the bottle I get plum rather strongly, or perhaps it just stands out because I've been wearing SANTA DOESN'T NEED YOUR HELP, and it seems like the same note. It's mysterious and melancholic, and then on the skin the violets come creeping out and it really does seem like the scent of a woman in a fancy dress sitting at home in the dark, too afraid to leave the house. Galen thought it was soapy at first which tracks with the Mr. Bubble mentioned earlier; that seems apt, since the Demeter fragrance inspired by the Mr. Bubble product is described as "a combination of coconut, banana, peach, jasmine, balsamic vanilla, and raspberry notes." It's not much of a leap from peach/jasmine/vanilla to plum/violet/vanilla, if you think about it. WITCH-BIRDS pulls out of that race as it begins to dry, with very recognizable (to me) mallow and opium notes. It's purple from so many different directions! I tend not to wear violet so I was apprehensive at first, but there's plenty going on here to keep it from being distracting. I love the way mallow rounds out a scent -- even the darker, more resinous parts -- with foamy sweetness. I have to lean in and breathe deep to explore those spookier recesses; overall it's a relaxing, gentle scent which hangs around for quite a long time.

Pomegranate is present as an accent in some of my favorite BPAL scents, but I can't think of a pom-forward one I've ever reached for regularly, purely based on personal taste. This one broke through! In the bottle, the juicy sweetness of the pomegranate has the legs effectively swept out from under it by an undercurrent of inky darkness. It is actually reminiscent of ink, as in an industrial product, dry and almost clinical. That was exciting to me, since it's not the fruit juice blast I'm chasing here. So, on the skin it goes! Immediately this becomes a rumbling, deep stormcloud of scent, bleeding purple and red around the edges. The dark side of this scent opens up, revealing several thick resinous layers... but I can understand why folks might have a hard time naming them or teasing them apart. Frankincense? Opoponax? Opium? Black amber? I have no receipts. Whatever it is, it continues holding back the sweetness and juiciness throughout the drydown, keeping the scent heavy and dramatic but allowing just a bit of razzle dazzle -- like rubies TRYING to sparkle against black velvet. Surprisingly mellow underneath the forbidding exterior, like most things goth. I've been wearing it all week! I can't stop.

One last bit of 2023 Lunacy and a sprinkle of NYE magic for ya: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-december-2023

We're very excited to add to Haute Macabre's Apothecary with the following four fragrances, available here: DRAGON’S BLOOD INCENSE • Dark and brooding, a vampiric lovesong. Sumatran Daemonorops draco, fossilized amber, red vegetal musk, and champaca resinoid. SWAMPKIN • a pumpkin floated by, swimming with the alligators in the Louisiana bayou. Amber-touched pumpkin rind and murky oud plunked into a boggy melange of mosses. GOT THE MORBS • The very morbiest: ink-black musk, opium tar accord, clove bud, and myrrh. LONDON SMOKE • the foggy grey of Victorian London. A black tea fougere with tabac flower and grey amber.

We've done it again! The Century Guild's latest Kickstarter book project is now live, and one of the options for backing it includes a perfume that will be impossible to obtain any other way: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/centuryguild/jugendstil-vol-2-art-book-psychedelic-art-nouveau-from-1896 JUGENDSTIL: FALL 1896 "A billowing gown of sandalwood chiffon, pale grass notes, green chypre, ti leaf, sweet oakmoss, shimmering white musk, moss, bourbon vanilla, and green amber." JUGENDSTIL is a book series compiling early German Art Nouveau illustrations that directly inspired psychedelic art of the 1960s. We consider it highly possible that someone in your sphere will appreciate the book, the perfume, or both! 💚

Yule on Yule, Yule on Yule! We're right on time for a change: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2023/ Here's a glimpse of everything that's included in this massive fragrance collection: ❄️ Main Catalog Yule Fragrances - Some returning friends, some brand new acquaintances! These include a fresh fundraiser for Transanta, our collab with The Cake Boys, and the book tie-in scent Santa Doesn't Need Your Help ❄️ Carved Wooden Holiday Village - Continuing our series of inviting miniature locales for your quaint seasonal display ❄️ The Lavender Kitchen - A series of soporific gourmands to help knit up the raveled sleave of care ❄️ Nourishment Wherever Needed - BPAL's fundraiser for World Central Kitchen, to help with their humanitarian efforts in Gaza and Israel: https://wck.org/ ❄️ Snow On Snow, Snow On Snow - Consider your nose well and truly nipped at! ❄️ Gingerbread Cotillion - To quote an infamous troop of Wilderness Girls: it's cookie time! ❄️ Holiday Vice Duets - Naughty Listers rejoice! Your time has finally come ❄️ Grove of Pomegranates - A rich, red scattering of jewels to beat back the winter bleakness

We know some of y'all have been waiting with ever-so-bated breath for our list of the three 1/32oz samples we'll be tossing into every single order of $19 or more (not including shipping) placed from Friday, November 24th through Monday, November 27th. Well, wait no more! 🥧 DEEP FRIED BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE 🥧 HONEYED PEAR TART 🥧 LAVENDER COCONUT CREAM PIE These perfumes are impossible to obtain any other way, and will be given out while supplies last. Under no circumstances be tasted, licked, chomped, chewed, slurped, or otherwise ingested. Thanks once again for choosing to support small businesses during your holiday shopping! Here's a handy link to help spread the word:

We're doing our best to catch up on stuff before getting waylaid by all the holiday action. Lunacies are LIVE! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-2023-sept-oct-lunacy/ Just in time for holiday shopping, we've also added some new GC Hair Gloss & Beard Oil options, listed below! Note that Tuesday the 28th, we'll be taking down the Pride Monsters collection as well as all the Lunacy stuff associated with the following 2023 launches: ROSE MOON THUNDER MOON HARE MOON PINK MOON ------ ++ GC HAIR GLOSSES AZIRAPHALE "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort." Ethereal musk, blonde woods, and dusty Bible accord. BASTET Bast, Ubasti, Ailuros, Ba-en-Aset. Represented as both a domestic cat and a fierce lioness, she truly evidences traits of both. She is the Mother of All Cats, Goddess of Sensuality, Fertility, and a guardian and protector of women. She is also one of the Eyes of Ra, and in that aspect is an Avenging Goddess, seeking retribution and punishing enemies of her people. Luxuriant amber, warm Egyptian musk, fierce saffron and soft myrrh, almond, cardamom and golden lotus. BLOOD KISS Lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk. CROWLEY "Nothing about him looked particularly demonic, at least by classical standards. No horns, no wings. Admittedly he was listening to a Best of Queen tape, but no conclusions should be drawn from this because all tapes left in a car for more than a fortnights metamorphose into Best of Queen albums. No particularly demonic thoughts were going through his head. In fact, he was wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were. Crowley had dark hair, and good cheekbones, and he was wearing snakeskin shoes, or at least presumably he was wearing shoes, and he could do really weird things with his tongue. And, whenever he forgot himself, he had a tendency to hiss." Infernal musk, red patchouli, lilac cologne, mahogany, lemon rind, oakmoss, leather, and vanilla husk. EAT ME "Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words ‘EAT ME’ were beautifully marked in currants. ‘Well, I’ll eat it,’ said Alice, ‘and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I’ll get into the garden, and I don’t care which happens!’ She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, ‘Which way? Which way?’, holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way." Three white cakes, vanilla, and red and black currants. BPAL’s Eat Me is not for eating. Please use common sense, and remember: hair glosses are for external use only. ++ GC BEARD OILS ANTIKYTHERA MECHANISM Bronze gears spin inside a polished wooden case, and an entire universe dances within. Teakwood, oak, black vanilla, and tobacco. AZIRAPHALE Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort. Ethereal musk, blonde woods, and dusty Bible accord. CROWLEY Nothing about him looked particularly demonic, at least by classical standards. No horns, no wings. Admittedly he was listening to a Best of Queen tape, but no conclusions should be drawn from this because all tapes left in a car for more than a fortnights metamorphose into Best of Queen albums. No particularly demonic thoughts were going through his head. In fact, he was wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were. Crowley had dark hair, and good cheekbones, and he was wearing snakeskin shoes, or at least presumably he was wearing shoes, and he could do really weird things with his tongue. And, whenever he forgot himself, he had a tendency to hiss. Infernal musk, red patchouli, lilac cologne, mahogany, lemon rind, oakmoss, leather, and vanilla husk. CTHULHU "If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings… It represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence…" A creeping, wet, slithering scent, dripping with seaweed, oceanic plants and dark, unfathomable waters. +++ RPG BEARD OILS DWARVEN LUSTRE Dwarves have the highest standards in beard care, and we aim to please even the grimmest and grouchiest of the lot. Patchouli root, golden amber coins, jewel-bright red musk, mineral oudh, and sweet ale. LICH, PLEASE Even the undead need to look sharp. Crypt moss and coffin wood, incense smoke and shards of bone. SUPAHWIZARD Are you a famous, gruff, all-powerful sage shacked up in a quaint local village, dispensing advice to adventurers? Have you sent any hobbits on quests? Died battling epic demons, only to rise again? Are you the wisest, most venerable wizard in town? Well, you don’t have to be – but you can fake it with our Supahwizard Beard Oil! Frankincense, sweet pipe tobacco, and the well-worn leather and parchment of ancient tomes.

I'm fond of the Lab's cherry scents but have rarely been able to tolerate wearing them, it's just such a persistently noticeable note that it becomes overwhelming to me. The ones I've tried hardest with have been maraschino scents, because I'm forever chasing that fantasy of the perfect, unnaturally bright, semi-translucent red cherry dripping with artificially colored juice. Even with these, such as Fairy Lobster Foam, I end up feeling instinctively a little uneasy at the idea of keeping something this strong SO close. Some treats are just not meant to linger for hours. VDBM has finally broken me out of these constraints. In the bottle the cherry is just as lustrous as advertised, and one might not assume it would go any differently than the experience I described above. However, on the skin this immediately changes, tempering from bright red to glowing pale pink -- like a maraschino stain seeping into a soft white tablecloth. It's a seductively blushing scent, with the amber immediately asserting itself in ways that drift out of strictly gourmand territory. When I first offered my wrist for Galen to sniff, he was unable to trace the cherry, even after I told him what it was. It was only later, after a freshly-applied slather, that he really got that part of it. Here's a fun experiment: sip some cherry flavored seltzer before smelling this scent on your skin. The seltzer taste will cancel out the cherry part of the fragrance on your palate, and all you'll be able to smell is the other stuff. Also, wearing this side by side with the Witch Blow Mold I have been able to trace which parts they have in common, and whatever's going on here in the amber that makes it "blow mold" is really something special: steady but delicate, glowing without giving off any warmth. Faintest trace of frankincense? Gorgeous. I can't be sure, but I think there is pink pepper in this scent. I've seen other people mention something "fizzy" or "electric" in it, and that's my guess in terms of what they're describing, and if so it's just masterfully blended into the color palette to impart some liveliness without standing out. The pink maraschino stain kind of hovers around this scent like a nimbus as time goes on -- the ghost of an idealized cherry, appetizing but not edible. I don't think the throw is very powerful but it lasts for a long time on the skin, and the oil feels lightly sticky as I apply it -- which I know probably has nothing to do with the cherry aspect but is still very satisfying on a sensory level. There's a luxurious sense of "this experience is just for me" when I wear this... which is almost daily right now! I can't wait to test it out on other people and ask what they think. It's both cheerful and mysterious, feminine without being too girly. From the description alone I wasn't sure how Dracula-esque this would really be, but the result certainly is hypnotizing!

I've had some very respectful and productive private conversations with folks as a result of this post. It gave me an opportunity to point out that the reason I deleted those comments (in addition to that being an inappropriate place to have that conversation) is because I'd decided to repost my own replies somewhere with greater visibility in the community. If they want to reproduce their own comments/complaints elsewhere that's up to them, but considering the way our community tends to rally to our (especially Beth's) defense, it seemed wise to not name them or make them any further part of it. I will not weaponize our community against itself. I said what *I* said. This morning on Instagram we reposted something from Amnesty International simply asking people to join the movement asking for a ceasefire. I disabled comments because... well, you know. This is the kind of relatively simple signal-boosting I had been wanting to do all along, but then every time I was tempted to repost something I'd take a look at the comments under it... because that's what I would be inviting by sharing that org's material. And it would be up to me to manage it all, decide how/whether to respond, and so forth. And every single time, I chickened out. Naturally, as a result of that repost today, our inbox is flooded and there have been other posts from people voicing their disappointment in us because of this specific post, tinged by the overall inadequacy of our response. Some of it is aimed specifically at me, because of how I responded the other day. This was not unexpected, and I'm not sharing it for sympathy. I'm just illustrating what it's like to engage with this even a little bit. I'm not particularly worried it will affect business, but there are definitely people who followed us because of our activism and progressive ideals who are frustrated that we aren't echoing the messages THEY want to hear. I've been there before, in other fights! I understand. But this level of reactivity is different than anything I've ever seen before. Not all these reactions were angry and unfair. Some are constructive DMs from well-meaning people who would like to steer us toward a better message, a better organization, more effective forms of help. But that's also not the kind of conversation I can handle with just anyone right now. Eleven different people will steer us in eleven different directions. I can't stake our outward position on what any random onlooker says, no matter how well-informed they seem, or how good their intentions may be. That is not a responsible form of engagement; there would be no confidence behind it. People would sense that and point it out, and they'd be right. Nor do I consider online activity like this to be "activism." Being wise enough to say nothing is actually useful at times, as "self-centering" as that may seem. And this is just one repost, from one organization, with no commentary from us added. When we share something raising funds for DWB, there will be more of the same, and I'm bracing myself for that. Every single organization, public figure, and news source has their own history, their own problematic layers to unpack. Elsewhere, Tray referred to DWB as a diplomatic choice, which I know is a compliment, but lots of people are fed up with diplomacy, and crave a stronger statement. People can tell we're playing it "safe" and that just makes them angrier than if we said nothing at all. So look, I want to signal early on that we are simply not going to be taking all comers in these situations. Nor will it help much for people to dry and defend us, so there's no use in going to the mat with anyone over it in the comments or whatever as days/weeks wear on. You do not need to fight these fights over us. If someone finds our response inadequate, disappointing, or embarrassing, that is acceptable. They might be right! If you want to help, share something positive, act out on your own according to your beliefs and convictions. Defending us against every criticism, no matter how unfair, won't help anything. Making enemies of other people in our community won't ease the pressure on us one bit. I've been fighty online (as BPAL) in past years because the targets were broader, the issues were relatively clear, and I was educated enough to speak with conviction. At times that was definitely tinged with my personal urgency and desperation to see things change, to see ANY change, so I know how people out there are feeling. Their anguish is real, their anger is righteous. But this... is different for us. And I just ask for your patience as we do our best.

Hi, all. Just wanted to let folks know here that we are indeed going to be releasing some kind of product to benefit those suffering from the devastating violence in the ongoing Israel/Palestine conflict. Proceeds will go to Doctors Without Borders, who have been mobilizing to address humanitarian concerns and provide life-saving care. I don't know the timeline for this, but if you'd like to donate in the meantime, you can do so here: https://doctorswithoutborders.org/ I know the Lab's relative silence about this has probably seemed unusual considering how outspoken we've been in the past. I'm very grateful to those who have accepted this or understood the difficulty in reacting publicly to the enormity of this conflict. There have been times when we've looked past immediate concerns in our personal lives in order to rush forward and voice support for this or that cause -- Black Lives Matter, Ukraine, Roe v. Wade, and so forth. There have been many other times when we wished we could do something, but it just wasn't possible due to miscellaneous factors. It's a huge vote of confidence that in times of crisis, many in our community look to us early on for wisdom, for action, for solace. But we are also just a very few people working under our own unique challenges (and some all-too-general ones) and we're simply not always going to be able to lead the charge. That's why we've worked so hard to inspire and encourage activism in others. Yesterday, on Halloween, a couple of customers attempted a public call-out asking us to take a "hard-line stance" in the recent Israel/Palestine conflict. This happened in the comments of one of our Instagram posts selling Halloween products. I see this as an extension of the many attempts made by folks reaching out to the company -- and to Beth personally -- asking about fundraiser products and how BPAL intends to use its platform to confront this important ongoing matter. I'm not sure many folks realize what it's like to cope with that additional demand while a disaster is unfolding in real time. As a Jewish woman and business owner, Beth has been dealing with a level of grief and anxiety since early October that I (a non-Jewish person) can scarcely comprehend. Part of that comes from feeling like she's under a microscope in terms of forming an adequate personal and professional response to something that just... should not be happening, and is likely to continue happening for... months? Years? Forever? I was on vacation for over a week during the Hamas attacks on Israel, and unable to do anything bit sit back and watch in horror along with everyone else. Anything I might have said from the Lab's accounts would have been seen as an extension of Beth's personal reaction, and I was not about to rush her through that process, no matter what my personal opinions were or how important it seemed to be to respond. Returning to work in the midst of the Halloween season, I did the only thing that it seemed to make sense to do: keep the business going and the spirit of the season alive. I recognize how jarring it may have seemed for us to go about "business and posting as usual" when folks' feeds were flooded with bloody images, news reports, and calls to action. There have been times when we have suspended "business as usual" in order to join efforts like these, but for reasons mentioned above this could simply not be one of those times. It was not reflective of our indifference, or a lack of engagement on the personal side of things. Posting online can count as activism, but it is not the ultimate expression or test of it. Neither is a retail product that raises funds for charity. Again, I'm extremely grateful to those in the community who have given us (especially Beth) this time and space to cope and feel our way through this. As for those comments yesterday, I replied to them from my personal account to try and explain why there had been no response to date, and why no "hard-line" position would be forthcoming. I did not shield them from my personal feelings about how inappropriate and unfair it is to extract these kinds of responses from people (we are a business, but we are definitely also just a few people) on a particular timeline while bodies are still being counted, new atrocities are being committed every day, and reports of anti-Semitism in the US are actively soaring. I underscored the basis of our position -- BPAL stands against murder, genocide, authoritarianism, and terrorism. As for anything more detailed, or a fundraising campaign, we will get there when we can. Since the Lab had yet to make any official outward statement, I went ahead and shared my response in the Parlour FB group so folks would know that I stood by it, even if we ultimately ended up deleting those comments from the Instagram post (which we did). Predictably, those commenters deemed my response inadequate and unacceptable. Additionally, it was characterized as bullying, childish, sociopathic, and self-centering. I saw this as a perfect example of why it had been wise for us to hold back from any official response all this time: this is not the kind of discourse that either Beth or myself should have to engage with vigilantly, around the clock, day in and day out, reacting with patience and nuance for every bad-faith interpretation of our action (or inaction, as the case may be). I'd taken all this on in the days immediately following the end of Roe v. Wade, and can honestly say that it trampled my mental health at a time when I was already struggling. I hadn't wanted to, but Beth had already looked down the road and prepared a series of products to release in the event of that ruling, so I voluntarily took the hit. Having watched Beth go through a comparable low point in the wake of this recent violence, I feel extremely protective of her. The idea of pushing her for a stance or a retail product just to satisfy the expectations of some folks whom we barely know, or don't know at all -- many of whom are dealing with their own grief and anxiety spiral, possibly exacerbated by the accelerated rate of updates being shared online -- seems preposterous to me. So if you have read any churlishness into the response I shared yesterday, that's where it comes from. If neither myself or Beth are currently up to taking something on, for literally any reason, then BPAL is simply not capable of meeting the moment online. I guess next time we'll have to coordinate better with nefarious world leaders to make sure this kind of thing happens on a timeline that better suits our production schedule and personal mental health! Please trust this: I know that not everyone who is curious about BPAL's absence from this conversation is asking in poor faith, or from a place of entitlement to Beth's voice and labor. It's completely understandable to want to know what we are thinking about all this, or to anticipate a customary fundraising effort. I know how much this community values Beth's insight and creative vision. We have received many messages of support, solidarity, and care. I also know that when people are very freaked out, they might not behave as their best selves. That includes me! What we're dealing with here is kind of a perfect storm, and sometimes all one can do in a storm is weather it. I'm sharing this here for greater accountability because I know that not everyone is part of the Facebook group, and yesterday's moment was worthy of more explanation and reflection, even if a certain amount of unpleasantness is still inevitable. I don't feel that apologies are owed for how I responded: BPAL is a perfume laboratory that sells perfume, and we reserve the right to sell Halloween products on Halloween without being needled for a specific response to emergent global tragedies. We are not a rescue aid society, or a non-profit agency, or an education center, or experts in geopolitics (well, I'm not, but Beth is damn close). We make fragrances inspired by plastic yard decorations. We might seem like a big deal to some folks, but let's all please try to view things at the proper scale. We promise to keep trying. We love our community and are very proud of those we see speaking out. We are grieving alongside those who are grieving. We are panicking alongside those who are panicking. We are taking care of our friends and loved ones during THEIR crises. None of this can be seen online, or condensed to a pithy social media campaign. Some moments are just not About That. Trying to make everything About That can actually make other things worse. Anyhow, today I'll be sharing stuff related to Doctors Without Borders. I welcome others to do the same, if they're up to it. When Beth is ready, there will be a fundraiser scent. We will continue doing our best to meet the moment. Thanks for reading, TB tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com Here's the substance of what I posted yesterday, for those who may not be in the Facebook group: ------------ I'm going a bit off the rails here and sharing some personal comments I aired on the Lab's Instagram in response to folks criticizing the company's lack of a direct response to the Israel/Palestine crisis. This isn’t an official statement from the company — we have been laboring over one for a while, but it keeps slipping through our hands as fresh atrocities are unveiled like… hourly? It turns out that connecting our business presence to every new monstrously evil act that arises in the world can take a serious personal toll, and is not always healthy or sustainable. This has become clearer over past years; in order to keep it going we are going to have to be very honest about our limitations in terms of how/when to engage. That comes FIRST, because if we don’t protect the individuals involved in keeping this company running, we are truly lost. Often we have managed to collectively stagger down a cohesive creative path or toward a particular call to action, but we are just a handful of folks who are doing our best to cope, while also keeping a business running. So far, the idea of turning this particular crisis into yet another product launch strikes me as beyond inadequate; it is personally sickening. So I understand the confusion and dismay, since we have tried to be Right There as various tragedies have unfolded. But I reject the idea that anyone is owed a particular response to this on a particular timeline, and the suggestion that it signals some onerous change in who we are as a company strikes me as distinctly unfair. We stand with oppressed people everywhere. We stand against murder, genocide, authoritarianism, and terrorism. This has always been the case. Why would there be any doubt now? There is no “hard line” hard enough or a specific charitable cause that will satisfy everyone, and we are not going to wrestle through these matters with folks in public as a consequence of trying to ease our own conscience. We simply don't belong at the forefront here, and in the meantime will continue to just privately watch, learn, rally, donate, etc. along with everyone else. The fact that folks would notice our relative silence and think anything other than “Boy, I sure hope those folks are okay”, and then even publicly clamor for a response, strikes me as profoundly off-putting. And the notion of us appearing to capitulate to this kind of pressure makes me feel even more protective of our need to process grief and horror in our own way, and to privately pursue the forms of activism that make the most sense to us as individuals. If this response is disappointing to you, that basically underscores my point. This isn’t a game to us. We aren’t going to additionally trouble ourselves with trying to score political points in someone else’s. If folks are interested in helping those who are suffering, we would be happy to provide a list of reputable organizations who are actively addressing it. But also, fortunately, the public outcry is so immense that we have been able to take a breather to just cry and fret and cry again while others push this to the forefront of everyone’s attention. But additionally, (and I did not include this in the comments on IG) I would love it if people would stop pestering Elizabeth personally to make sure she is hard at work on some kind of "Stop bombing children" commemorative perfume. How do you imagine YOU would function, whether creatively or as a human, under those conditions? That was a rhetorical question, I'm asking Reen to disable comments. Let's just get through the day and try to have a happy Halloween and enjoy whatever personal sense of peace we can muster. Thanks for listening.

Boo! We’re keeping the spooky season rolling with a One-Page Story Contest, challenging all who enter to select story prompts from Drew Rausch's 15 label artworks for our recent Nightmare Novellas fragrance series. Submit your chilling tales between now and December 1st! The winner will receive their choice of five free products from the Halloween 2023 fragrance collection, plus a bottle of the Nightmare Novellas scent referenced by their story. Three runner-up prizes will also be bestowed. How you incorporate the imagery into your story is up to you. Will you include the wisp of story prompt we included in each scent description? Will you reference the title of the scent, or elements mentioned in the scent notes? We’d love to see it, but it’s not required. Blow us away with your creativity and your non-AI-assisted talents! Multiple entries are permitted. Please read the full Rules & Regulations linked here before entering. Happy haunting! 👻

I was gonna just link you to the BPAL portion of Scarleteen’s raffle prizes, but honestly there are so many wonderful things in there, so here’s the whole pile! We're contributing any three Weenies, plus a TOMIE. https://scarleteen.betterworld.org/